GOD KNEW I NEEDED YOU

Saturday, May 2, 2026

NECESSARY THINGS: Castle Rock-WA



May 1st: Lord, thank You for the breath 🌬️ that bringing me into a new month πŸ“…; I release what’s behind me and trust You with what’s ahead.

Order my steps 🦢, guard my heart πŸ’–, and fill my days with Your peace πŸ—“️πŸͺ” Today, let me be a lighter version of me. A softer presence ✨

Today begins my Sabbath Rest & nothing is going to upset me.

Give me strength πŸ’ͺ for what I face, faith πŸ™ for what I can’t see, and courage 🦁 to walk boldly in Your purpose. Remind me, Lord, that healing 🩹 can change me without destroying me πŸ’Ž

I woke up to sunshine warmth ☀️ - the Day looked promising.

The scent of hazelnut flavored coffee filled the rooms as it dripped into my waiting coffee mug - and it made my taste buds happy as I savored every sip ☕️ The quiet morning was soft and cozy … the perfect, [necessary thing] start to a Friday Shabbat Day.

As I was finishing my coffee, Holland made an appearance saying he had to get some things in town; and would I like to go with him. Well, I needed some things in town too, so I said I would. He had himself a cup of coffee ☕️ while I prepared to meet the public πŸ’„πŸŽ¨ I don't wear makeup at home because that's the time I give my face a break from makeup chemicals & my hair a break from curling irons: today, the temple was adorned - not garishly, but with notable improvements πŸ˜‰

Going light on the makeup - trying to find a 'fit' for my gray hair.

First stop for both of us, was The Country Village πŸ›’πŸ›️, where Holland got some Curamin pain relief tablets. I grabbed some Beet Powder & Nutritional Yeast to put some pep in my steps & some strength in my weak blood, and strengthen my bones. A chunk of change πŸ’΅ was dropped - a healthy life does not come cheap.

The Country Village Nutrition Store; #1052 Washington Way, Longview, WA

As we were leaving the parking lot, I saw my BIL Kerry, walking into the building πŸ‘‹, so Holland pulled over so I could talk with him for a few minutes. It was good to see Kerry 😁, find out when the great-grandbaby will arrive πŸ‘Ά, & hug him. Holland finally got a look at him (Holland has heard me mention Kerry, a lot, during conversations at Oak Point - and since we married) & Kerry saw the man I married  - I had told Kerry about my remarriage after coming back from Reno, but the 2 men had not met; today, they did πŸ‘€

Then, we drove a few streets over to grab a chinese lunch to eat. I ordered 2 lunches to go πŸ₯’🍜, & we ate them at the Gerhart Gardens Park (it sounds fancier than it actually is), just off the freeway.

The Golden Palace Chinese Restaurant; #1245 14th Ave, Longview, WA
I like the huge lacquered floor screen, as soon as you walk through the door.
It must be under new ownership because it doesn't look ratty, anymore; when we had lunch here with Jake about 4 years ago, it was looking kinda dumpy - & we were all surprised because it's normally a nice place to eat. I'm glad it's looking clean & comfortable, again.
Gerhart Gardens Park; #40 Tenant Way, Longview, WA

Holland spent a lot of time fishing at this Park & Bob's youngest brother Kerry, also spent a lot of time at this Park in the 1980's. It's basically just a small paved parking lot alongside the Cowlitz River, with a boat ramp. There is a lonely swing set in the center, but that's it. This Park is definitely a "guy thing".

Gerhart Gardens Park, Longview-WA

It was nice to sit and watch the river while we ate. The Day was pleasantly warm, the sunshine 🌞 very welcome, the food was delish πŸ₯’🍜, & we managed to spend time together without tension 🀝: it was great 😊 - a necessary thing. It was nice to spend time with my husband that did not include an argument about his family. The music πŸ’ΏπŸŽΈπŸŽ΅ filling Betsy's cab 🚘, was the only aggressive point of the Day.

Message in a cookie~Do you think? LOL
Metallica - 'Wherever I May Roam' lyrics: 
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZyfy2SHCNg&list=RDvZyfy2SHCNg&start_radio=1)

Back home again, I put my nutritional goodies away; listened to some uplifting music as my Island of Rest came into play - and infused my home with peaceful vibes.

Goodies I picked up at the 'Country Village' Health Food Store, in Longview.

I love my 24-hour period of Rest ⏰🎯 … where there is a deliberate & conscious separation 🚧 from the world's entrapments 🌎🌍❌

My mind 🧠 can rest.

My spirit can breathe easy πŸ•Š️

My heart isn't constantly bracing for chaotic upheavals 😡‍πŸ’«

My Shabbat Rest Period ✡️πŸ•―️✝️ is a necessary thing πŸ˜‡

While I settled into my period of rest, I noticed a bag of cotton yarn scraps 🧢 laying around, and got to thinking of how they could be used πŸ€”; that led me to designing ✍️ & crafting ✂️ several colorful pouches ✅ that I can slip my asthma inhaler into & attach to my wrist watch; matching my design to the clothing in my closet πŸ‘Œ

Small balls of yarn remnants sparked creativity.
Bringing the pattern together …

While I enjoyed the music πŸ’»πŸŒπŸŽΆ and the peace coziness; I was thankful that my fingers are still nimble enough to provide me with contented activity 🧢🧡✂️ I am grateful for the blessing & the provision.

MOD Crochet Asthma Inhaler Pouch; Castle Rock-WA: 
(https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2026/05/mod-crochet-asthma-inhaler-pouch-castle.html)
I remember my Grandmother Brockway - she made things; clothing, household doodads, gifts, ect. We didn't call it "crafting" because she always made things needful: we called it "necessity". When I do my necessary work, I keep her memory alive, & I am comforted.

This kind of life may look simple from the outside - but it is everything on the inside; and a calm inside πŸ’“ is what matters the most.

So, as a new month opens up & unfolds πŸ“…, I'm moving into it with hope & purpose ☝️ Asking Elohim to cover me with His grace. To guide me by His hand. And to fill my Life with His favor 🧎🏼‍♀️πŸ•Š️🀲

Trusting in His Plan & Yeshua's healing touch: a very necessary thing.

Amen πŸ’•

MOD CROCHET ASTHMA INHALER POUCH; Castle Rock-WA

Crochet Asthma Inhaler Pouch; Castle Rock-WA

Shifting things around the house, this evening - I noticed a bag of cotton yarn scraps 🧢 laying around, and got to thinking of how they could be used πŸ€”; that led me to designing ✍️ & crafting ✂️ several colorful pouches ✅ that I can slip my asthma inhaler into & attach to my wrist watch; matching my design to the clothing in my closet πŸ‘Œ

Each pouch take about a half hour to work up, & measures 2"x 2" with a 2-1/2" strap closure.

MOD Crochet Asthma Inhaler Pouch; Castle Rock-WA

Materials: scrap balls of cotton yarn; #G hook; scissors; tapestry needle; small resin button.

Terms: 

ch = chain

sc = single crochet

st = stitch

sl st = slip stitch

EA = each

x = times (repeat)

rpt = repeat

EO = end off


1) Ch 16; jn

Ch 16 - size to make sure it fits your inhaler sheath; jn w-sl st.

2) Make 1 sc in EA back loop of foundation ch - this makes a nicely defined top edge (16 sc); jn - do not ch 1; turn. You will begin to work in rounds, now.

Make 1 sc in EA back loop of foundation ch

3) Make 1 sc in EA st; jn - do not ch 1; turn.

4) Sc x2, ch 4 - skip 3 sts, sc next st & following 10 sts (this is where the watch strap will pass through); jn - do not ch 1; turn.

5) Sc in EA st - including the back loops of EA ch; jn - do not ch 1; turn.

6) Rpt row 4; jn - do not ch 1; turn.

7 & 8) Sc in EA st; jn - do not ch 1; turn. EO

9) Ch 1, sc in EA next 2 sts; ch 1 & turn.

Strap: Rpt row 9 for a length of 2-1/2 inches (12 rows). EO with a 5-inch tail - thread through needle & tack to opposite end of strap, making a "pinky" sized loop for button to pass through.

Finishing: Sew button in place. Viola! πŸ‘Œ Done and ready for your walk in the forest, along a beach, exploring small communities' ect. πŸ˜ƒ

Watch strap openings.
Thread watch band through strap openings.
Slip inhaler sheath into crotched pouch.
Thread strap thru pouch - then slip inhaler sheath into pouch & close with button.
Done and ready for your walk.

Friday, May 1, 2026

INTROSPECTION INTERSECTION~Self-care 2026; Castle Rock-WA

April 30th: When I open my eyes in the morning - when I am drinking my morning joy juice & listening to the birds just feet from me, outside, lifting their happy songs above the chaotic freeway traffic also just feet from my little home … I am reminded that even in the middle of life’s challenges, there is still so much to be grateful for.

A new day.

Simple blessings.

And another chance to begin again.

In spite of it all; life is good, and my heart is thankful.

I pulled a workout up - grabbed some weights, and got to it.

Warm-up: Perform 5–10 minutes of light cardio and dynamic stretches before lifting. Example of a 5-Minute Warm-Up sequence would look something like this:

1 min (ct. of 60) = March in place: or do gentle walking in place to raise heart rate and circulation; this helps blood flow to muscles and warms up the heart.

1 min (ct. of 60) = Arm circles: stand or sit, arms out to the sides & make small forward circles (10–15 reps), then backward (10–15 reps)

30 sec (ct. of 30) = Roll Shoulders: forward and backward in circles, to loosen shoulder muscles.

30 sec (ct. of 30) = Side Bends: Stand feet shoulder-width apart & gently bend side to side to warm the torso.

30 sec (ct. of 30) = Hip Circles: Rotate hips clockwise and counterclockwise to improve mobility.

30 sec (ct. of 30) = Knee Lifts: Lift one knee toward chest, switch sides, to warm hips and thighs.

30 sec (ct. of 30) = Ankle Rolls: Lift one foot, rotate ankle in circles (15 reps each way)

If you are a senior (age 60+), new to exercising with weights, here are some guidelines for a safe & healthy workout:

Pick a very light weight for your first test set (even just use your body weight).

Perform the exercise for up to 12 slow, controlled reps.

If you could easily do 15+ reps, the weight is too light … go up a step next set.

If you struggle before 8 reps, the weight is too heavy … go down a step or switch to body weight.

Ideal range for this program: you could do about 10–14 reps, with the last 2 or 3 reps feeling challenging but still controlled.

Start light: For seniors, especially those over 60, begin with 2–5 lb. (0.9–2.3 kg) dumbbells to avoid strain.

The 5- & 8-lb. weights I used today, & interchanged between sets (5-lb. 1st - then bumped to 8-lb.)

The Darebee Pixie Workout is an upper body dumbbell workout designed to build strength and improve balance and stability. It combines weights with core and balance exercises to challenge the cardiovascular system, enhancing overall upper body strength - with METCON benefits (Metabolic conditioning; explained below). This workout is effective for those looking to improve their fitness routine and can be performed with minimal equipment.

The moment you add weights and some core/balance exercises together, you have an upper body workout that will work not just muscles but also tendons and core; and help you improve your balance and stability. The Pixie workout does all of that, exactly. It will also challenge your cardiovascular system as the body pumps blood to all the upper body large, muscle groups. Add EC and you will definitely feel better throughout the workout. Extra Credit (EC): Smile manically throughout.

I have also included alternate exercises (marked with a #) that may benefit those with limited flexibility.

The reps given are doable.

Standing Knee-Cross To Elbow exercise safety, for a 69-year-old woman depends on her individual health and fitness level. It is generally considered safe for most individuals, but it is crucial to listen to the body and adjust the exercise accordingly. The knee to elbow exercise is a dynamic movement that targets the core, shoulders, and hip flexors, enhancing strength and stability. Body Awareness: The exercise requires good body awareness and balance, which can be particularly important for older adults. Fatigue and Compensation: Fatigue can lead to compensations that may increase the risk of injury. Therefore, it is important to maintain proper form and avoid any movements that may cause discomfort or pain. Moderation: The exercise should be performed with moderation and should not be done excessively, as overexertion can lead to injury. While the standing knee-cross to elbow exercise can be beneficial for many, it is essential to ensure that the individual is physically capable of performing it safely and to listen to your body's signals - Stop if you feel sharp pain, instability, or discomfort.

Knee Cross To Elbow exercise~Aim for 10 reps, x2

#Seated Knee-Cross To Elbow Crunch exercise is an effective core-strengthening movement that can be performed while seated, targeting the abdominal muscles and hip flexors. Starting Position: Sit comfortably at the edge of a sturdy chair with your back straight and unsupported. The seated position makes this exercise suitable for individuals with mobility issues or those who prefer low-impact workouts. Weighted Version: Hold light weights in your hands while performing the exercise to add resistance and further challenge your core.

Seated Knee Cross To Elbow exercise~Aim for 10 reps, x2

Standing Dumbbell Air Punches can be safe for a 69-year-old woman if done with proper form, light weights, and without overexertion. This exercise combines the resistance of light dumbbells with the motion of shadowboxing, making them a low-impact, high-efficiency way to work your upper body, core, and even legs. Form tips – Roll your shoulders forward, keep your chin down, and look up. Exhale as you push out. Avoid swinging too hard to prevent strain. Muscles Worked: Shoulders (front, middle, and rear deltoids) & Triceps, biceps, lats, serratus anterior. Benefits: Upper body strength & tone – Builds shoulder and arm muscle while improving coordination. Cardiovascular boost – Quick, alternating punches elevate heart rate. Low impactGentle on joints. Dumbbell air punches are a versatile, accessible exercise that builds strength, improves endurance, and keeps you moving without heavy equipment. They’re great for home workouts, quick breaks at work, or as part of a fitness routine. Listen to your body's signals - Stop if you feel sharp pain, instability, or discomfort.

Air Punches~Aim for 10 ct x2

#Seated Dumbbell Air Punches are safe for a healthy 69 year old woman to do. This exercise reduces fall risk and joint stress, which is important for older adults. Functional benefits: They can improve upper-body strength, core stability, and coordination, which support daily activities like lifting groceries or getting up from a chair. Adaptable: You can adjust the weight, speed, and number of reps to match your fitness level. Start light: Choose a dumbbell weight that’s comfortable — not too heavy to cause strain or fatigue. Maintain good posture: Sit with feet flat, knees at 90°, and back supported. Avoid slouching or leaning backControl the movement: Keep punches smooth and avoid jerky motions to prevent shoulder or wrist strain. Listen to your body: Stop if you feel pain, dizziness, or instability.

Sitting Air Punches~Aim for 10 ct x2

Dumbbell Lateral Raises can be safe for a 69-year-old woman if performed with proper form, light to moderate weights. Lateral raises target the deltoid muscles and can help improve shoulder mobility, posture, and strength, which are important for daily activities like reaching overhead or lifting objects. For seniors, strength training with light dumbbells supports muscle tone, balance, and joint health. Start light: Use 2–5 lb. dumbbells for women to focus on form before increasing weight. Good form: Keep the movement slow and controlled, with the elbows slightly bent and the upper body stable. Avoid arching the back or jerking the weights. Modify if needed: If the movement causes strain, consider seated lateral raises or resistance band versions for less joint stress. Lateral raises involve overhead motion and shoulder flexion, which can be risky if there’s shoulder instability, rotator cuff issues, or poor posture. Avoid if you have chronic shoulder pain, arthritis, heart disease, or other chronic conditions. Stop if you feel pain or discomfort: Especially in the shoulder, neck, or upper back.

Lateral Raises w-Dumbbells~Aim for 10 reps, x2

#Seated Dumbbell Lateral Raises can be a safe and effective shoulder exercise for a 69-year-old woman. Low-impact and seated: The seated position reduces reliance on leg or hip power, making it easier to control movement and reduce strain on the lower back. Targeted muscles: It primarily works the lateral deltoids, serratus anterior, and supraspinatus, which are important for shoulder stability and joint health. Benefits for seniors: Strength training like this can improve muscle mass, joint support, balance, and bone density, all of which are important for older adults. Start light: Use a weight that allows 10–15 controlled reps without fatigue or discomfort. Avoid heavy loads that could cause strain. Perfect form: Keep the elbows slightly bent, dumbbells moving in a controlled arc, and avoid arching the back or jerking the weights. Avoid if you have severe shoulder instability, rotator cuff injury, neck or back issues, arthritis, recent injuries, or nerve compression. Stop if you feel pain or discomfort: Especially in the shoulder, neck, or upper back.

Seated Lateral Raises w-Dumbbells~Aim for 10 reps, x2

Alternate Bicep Curls are a safe and effective exercise for a 69-year-old woman when performed with light weights, proper form, and controlled movements. This exercise helps strengthen the biceps, forearms, and grip, which supports daily activities like lifting groceries, opening jars, and carrying objects safely. This exercise also promotes joint stability in the elbows and shoulders, & improves posture. Performing curls alternately allows for better focus on each arm and can reduce fatigue compared to curling both arms simultaneously. Start with light weights: Use 1–5 lb dumbbells or household items like water bottles to avoid overstraining muscles and joints. Maintain proper form: Sit or stand tall, keep elbows tucked close to the body, and move only the forearms while curling the weights toward the shoulders. Controlled movements: Curl slowly and lower the weights with control to reduce joint stress and maximize muscle engagement. Breathing: Exhale while lifting the weight and inhale while lowering it. Seated or standing options: Seated curls provide extra stability if balance is a concern, while standing curls engage the core for additional strength benefits. Avoid if you have severe shoulder instability, rotator cuff injury, neck or back issues, arthritis, recent injuries, or nerve compression. Stop immediately if pain, dizziness, or discomfort occurs.

Alternate Bicep Curls w-Dumbbells~Aim for 10 reps, x2

#Seated Dumbbell Alternating Bicep Curl is generally considered a safe and effective exercise for older adults when performed with proper form. It targets the biceps and forearms, improving arm strength for daily tasks like lifting, carrying, and opening jars. The seated position provides stability, reducing the risk of imbalance or injury compared to standing versions. Start light: Use very light weights or even no weights at first to master the movement. Maintain posture: Sit tall in a sturdy chair, feet flat on the floor, shoulders back and down, and elbows tucked close to the body. Control the movement: Move slowly, especially on the lowering phase, to build strength and avoid strain. Avoid momentum: Do not swing the arms; focus on bending the elbows (not the wrists) to isolate the biceps. Listen to your body: If you feel pain, sharp discomfort, or instability, stop and adjust the weight or form. Avoid if you have recent elbow injuries, arthritis, or balance issues, chronic conditions (e.g., heart disease, severe osteoporosis). Stop immediately if pain, dizziness, or discomfort occurs.

Dumbbell Alternating Seated Bicep Curl~Aim for 10  reps, x2

Dumbbell Upright Chest Rows (also called upright rows) can be safe for some older adults if performed with proper form and appropriate weights, but they should be approached with caution. Shoulder joint stress: The exercise involves lifting dumbbells vertically toward the chin, which combines shoulder abduction and internal rotation. This reduces the space in the subacromial area, where rotator cuff tendons and the bursa pass, increasing the risk of impingement. Rotator cuff strain: Repeated or improper execution can cause tendinitis, bursitis, or even labral tears. Age-related factors: Older adults may have reduced shoulder stability, slower recovery, and more degenerative changes, making them more vulnerable to injury. Light weights: Start with very light dumbbells (2–5 lb. for women) to focus on form rather than load Well Fit Insider. Proper form: Use a wider grip (shoulder-width) to reduce internal rotation stress. Keep the elbows higher than the hands and stop at mid-chest level to avoid raising above the collarbone snuggymom.com. Maintain a neutral spine and avoid jerky movements. Controlled range of motion: Slow, deliberate lifts and lowers reduce joint stress. Listen to your body: Stop if you feel pain: Discontinue immediately if you experience sharp pain, dizziness, or discomfort.

Dumbbell Upright Chest Rows~Aim for 10 reps x2

{{Metabolic conditioning is a high-intensity training approach designed to improve the efficiency and capacity of the body’s energy systems, enhancing endurance, strength, and calorie burn.

What is Metabolic Conditioning?

Metabolic conditioning, often called MetCon, involves exercises that train the body to produce and utilize energy more efficiently. It focuses on improving the immediate, intermediate, and long-term energy pathways that fuel physical activity. By strategically manipulating work and rest intervals, MetCon challenges the body to perform at high intensity while minimizing recovery, which enhances overall metabolic efficiency and physical work capacity. 

Energy Systems Involved

MetCon targets the three primary energy systems: (1) Phosphagen System (ATP-CP): Provides immediate energy for short, intense bursts (10–15 seconds), using stored ATP and creatine phosphate (2)  Glycolytic System: Fuels moderate to high-intensity activity lasting 30 seconds to 2–3 minutes, using glucose and glycogen anaerobically, producing lactic acid (3) Oxidative System: Supports long-duration, lower-intensity activity, using oxygen to metabolize fats and carbohydrates for sustained energy. 

MetCon workouts are structured to stress the immediate and intermediate pathways, improving the body’s ability to burn fuel efficiently and recover quickly. 

Benefits of Metabolic Conditioning

Enhanced energy efficiency: Trains the body to perform more work in less time. 

Increased calorie burn: High-intensity intervals elevate metabolism and promote fat loss, including post-exercise calorie burn (EPOC or “afterburn effect”). 

Improved endurance and strength: Combines cardiovascular and muscular training to boost overall fitness. 

Lean muscle development: Supports muscle growth while improving metabolic rate. 

Versatility: Can be adapted for weight loss, sports performance, or general fitness. 

Safety Considerations

Because MetCon involves high-intensity exercise, proper technique and gradual progression are essential to prevent injury. Beginners should start with moderate intensity and increase workload as fitness improves.

Metabolic conditioning offers a comprehensive approach to fitness, combining cardiovascular, strength, and metabolic training to maximize energy efficiency, calorie burn, and overall performance.}}

Body toning workout finished & feeling refreshed, I check my FB Page for messages … and a couple highlighted reels came up that kinda touched on every thing I've been dealing with since Bob's spirit left Earth (1) children & grandchildren snagged by the gender-bending obamanite insanity; MPO is that he unleashed a demon upon Earth and unwary, rebellious people got caught up in the delusion (2) angry children that shamefully misbehaved during my widowing months that first year - and were subsequently cut loose, to go on their unhappy ways; I don't miss the chaos (3) a new husband that is more a mission assignment at the moment, than a Team Partner.

I can identify with all 3 Reels.

My life has been on a perpetual roller coaster since December 2018.

(1) Children & grandchildren snagged by the gender-bending obamanite insanity:

Nonsense and downright disrespect is not acceptable under the Banner of Love.
You gotta draw the line - a clear line, when you are a Christian.
If you love your children … YOU LEARN TO TELL THEM "NO". Be a PARENT - not a harmful [friend].

You gotta draw the line - a clear line, when you are a Christian.

YES - it is TRUE that God "loves everyone" … but it is also true that everyone does not love God.

Love goes both ways; love is not a 1-way freeway.

When you love someone, you don't blatantly disrespect them.

You don't insist that they engage in your twisted fantasy.

If you love your children … YOU LEARN TO TELL THEM "NO".

Especially - and specifically - if you are claiming to be a Christian.

God loves everyone.

Christians love everyone.

Nonsense and downright disrespect is not acceptable - to accept either under the banner of love, is NOT love.

God says, "No!"

Parents need to learn how to say "No!"

Holland's entire family never learned that word, and it was never applied. 

That's why his siblings, cousins, ect. are dead. Holland & Mark, remain.

I said "no" to my kids and grandkids when nonsense and disrespect raised it's head - no apologies forthcoming: and while some of them are out of my life by their own choice & I am forbidden to see Azariah due to Stacey's snarkiness … at least they are all still alive. There is still hope.

You gotta draw an uncrossable line. THAT is where "love" lives.

(2) Angry children that shamefully misbehaved during my widowing months that first year - and still caught up in their self-centered angsts, are still distancing themselves from me: I learned to enjoy the peacefulness of going solo.

Selfish & ungrateful children.
The need to try a little understanding & be grateful for extended kindness.
Ain't got nobody that I can depend on.

Yep.

Pretty much the same convo; said by different people, in a different location for the same reason.

I meant it & that's why I don't mind going solo lobo: I don't entertain selfishness anymore.

If people aren't willing to meet me halfway, with a decent attitude & some kind of logical comprehension of what's truly important - I can go it alone.

Alone is peaceful.

(3) A new husband:

A godly Wife will challenge her Husband to man up - that is her God-given Mission.

And that is how you know the difference …

A temu wannabe is not the real deal.

The real deal wants the real deal.

If you settle for less - you will get less.

Just sayin'.

Which brings me to the latest introspective exchange of words between him and me. I said, "I have to focus on things that matter the most - I'm living on limited time; I have to get things right. Wiggle room is shrinking. You need to hear me on this issue, Holland. Pretty much all of my life has been spent in this part of WA State. When I'm here, my thoughts go down rabbit trails & that's why I spent as much time as possible gone; I had a constant headache & my heart ached from all the kids' bickering and fighting. Constantly. I didn't want to think anymore on heavy stuff: my life here in WA, started when I was 9-1/2. Love Lessons began, continued, and ended when I married Bob in 1974 - that was a good thing; I  became a parent in 1975, I had a real purpose that grew me up - that was a happy time; I became a first time grandmother in both, 1990 & 1995 - those birth dates were welcome things; I a Widow as 2018 was ending - that was a heart-breaking time that I didn't think I'd survive; I felt like an empty husk of all I was & everything I knew, when the kid's turned on me like mad dogs - disrespecting me & dishonoring their father before the ashes had even cooled enough to collect. Now I'm back here … and all those emotions are rushing in - along with the new, fresh pain, you bring. I'm doing a lot of introspective assessments. My Life is wrapping up: I may be granted another 20 years, but I don't want to fritter any of that time away fighting with you over mean-spirited, selfish people who instigate chaos, death, and destruction: I've already experienced that rodeo with my kids' self-destructive bitterness. Life is too important. I can't waste any more time on things that aren't important. Anger is not important to me; it happens, but it's not something I want to feed on a steady basis. I want to funnel my energy into building a happy life. I want to laugh & enjoy my waning days in Sonshine. My goal is to get Home. To do my best to make sure my children & grandchildren get there, too. To do my best to make sure you get there … even if I have to drag you across the finish line - none of you have to actually be present, if that is what yu'all choose: for any of that to happen. But, I have to focus on things that matter the most. Yeshua matters. You matter. My children matter. Peace matters. I'm not waiting anymore for things that matter to magically appear - I'm going after what matters. Alone, if I have to. I'm not letting anyone hold me back from the happy life wanting to be birthed. I paid my dues. I want it. I will have it before this Life ends. So help me, God."

I just don't have the time … or the inclination to spin my wheels anymore - and that's what's been happening for the past 3 years. I want to get back on track. I need firm footing to do what my Call to Do, is.

I have trusted Elohim with my Life, all of my Life.

I am thankful that Elohim has never let me down & that Yeshua has been a steady companion. I can trust His Plan - I may not understand it, but I trust IT.