WHATEVER IT TAKES~Self-care 2026; Castle Rock-WA

I've been sleeping good the past couple nights 😴; this morning I woke up energized 🔌 - even though my chest feels squeezed with bands of steel & my lungs burn with every breath I inhale & exhale: asthma & angina are minor issues. I'm still a bit shaky too (the joys of life, in WA State), so I took several breaks ⏱️ while shifting rooms and doing 4 small loads 🧺 of laundry … all of the activity was necessary, so "whatever it takes" was the Day's motto 😉

It was 39-degrees this morning - thankfully, no fog; and warmed up to 47-degrees the rest of the Day; so the busy activity, while winding me 🎈, did keep me kinda warm.

Yesterday, while Holland was in Kelso, I spread the over-sized afghan I am designing & crafting, out on the bed; & was pleased to note 👏 that all it needs done with it is the finishing striped panels 😁: this was one of the things that got shifted, this morning …

I think 14 more rows will finish the length - I know it drags … but it won't, once plump bodies are under it. It will be folded and laid across the bottom end of the bed when finished.

The large lawn bag, I've been working it into to keep the progression off the floor; barely contains it - and it's getting pretty heavy, too.

Before the Busy Bee activities, I enjoyed a flavorful Hazelnut coffee - and a light workout; I want to keep my workouts regular, no matter how I am feeling.

Whatever it takes.

Darebee offers free, science-backed bodyweight workouts that are proven effective for building strength, losing weight, and improving fitness. Recent 2024 research shows 11-minute bodyweight protocols can significantly improve cardiorespiratory fitness, while HIIT-based programs reduce BMI and body fat percentage.

Warm-Up: Begin with a gentle warm-up to increase blood flow and loosen joints:

The Standing Arm Crossover exercise is generally considered safe for a 69-year-old woman to perform, provided she is in good physical condition and has no pre-existing shoulder or arm injuries. However, it is important to perform the exercise with proper form and listen to her body. Stop immediately if you feel pain, dizziness, or joint discomfort. Muscle fatigue is normal, but sharp or sudden pain is a signal to rest or modify the exercise. Additionally, she should avoid the exercise if she has a history of neck or back problems, as it may put unnecessary strain on those areas.

Arm Crossover~Aim for 10-15 sec's. To count exercise seconds, start by saying '1' and continue counting sequentially '2', '3', and so on, until you reach recommended rep count.

The Shoulder Shrug exercise is generally considered safe for seniors, including a 69-year-old woman, as it focuses on strengthening the shoulder blades and upper back muscles. However, it is crucial to consult a healthcare professional before starting any new exercise routine, especially for individuals with pre-existing conditions or concerns.

Shoulder Shrug Warm-Up~Aim for 12-15 ct

The Darebee All Systems Red workout is a High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) designed for upper body fitness 💪 It is a no-equipment workout that helps you get fitter faster, focusing on high-intensity interval exercises to improve cardiovascular fitness and strength. Examples of exercise form & movement is shown, following the workout sheet …

Muscles Worked

For EA exercise~Aim for 10-15 sec's x2

The Scissor Chops arm exercise is generally considered safe for a 69-year-old woman to perform, provided she follows proper safety guidelines. It's crucial to consult with a healthcare provider before starting any new exercise program, especially for individuals with preexisting medical conditions or injuries. Stop immediately if you feel pain, dizziness, or joint discomfort. Muscle fatigue is normal, but sharp or sudden pain is a signal to rest or modify the exercise.

Up & Down Arm Scissors Chop~Aim for 20 sec's x2

Bicep Extensions are safe for a 69-year-old woman to do. These exercises are designed to strengthen the biceps, which are essential for daily activities like lifting and carrying. They can be performed seated or standing, using light dumbbells, bands, or just bodyweight. It is important to perform these exercises with proper form and to warm up before starting. If the woman has any specific health concerns or limitations, it is advisable to consult with a healthcare provider to ensure the exercises are appropriate for her individual condition. Stop immediately if you feel pain, dizziness, or joint discomfort. Muscle fatigue is normal, but sharp or sudden pain is a signal to rest or modify the exercise.

Shoulder Tap Biceps Extensions~Aim for 20 sec's x2

The Standing Phelps Chest Stretch is safe for a 69-year-old woman to perform. It is an effective exercise that can be performed at home and is designed to improve upper body strength while ensuring joint safety. The exercise focuses on controlled movements that can easily be integrated into her daily routine, making it suitable for seniors looking to build upper body strength. It is important to maintain good posture and breathing throughout each movement to minimize the risk of injury. Stop immediately if you feel pain, dizziness, or joint discomfort. Muscle fatigue is normal, but sharp or sudden pain is a signal to rest or modify the exercise.

Bodyweight Standing Phelps Chest Stretch~Aim for 20 sec's x2

{{High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) Benefits

High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) is a short, intense burst of exercise, usually carried out over a period of time that ranges from one to three minutes with a recovery phase between repetitions. Because HIIT brings heart rate, aerobic and cardiovascular performance to near optimal levels it delivers impressive results in improvement in body fat levels, increased aerobic performance, increased metabolism, lower insulin resistance and improved handling of stress.

HIIT also manages to provide the near perfect solution to those who have little time to exercise but still need to do something in order to maintain the physical fitness levels required for a healthy mind and body. Indeed, it appears that the cerebrovascular benefits of HIIT make it a prime form of exercise for delaying the onset of ageing in the brain as well as the body.

Brain Health and Mental Function

The research suggests that the high volume of blood flow, as well as the biochemical stress imposed by HIIT on the brain’s signaling pathways induce adaptations in the brain that include:

Increased neuroplasticity (the ability of the brain to form and reorganize synaptic connections) * Higher dendritic density (an increase in the brain’s signaling pathways) * Greater neuronal mass (the number of neurons in the brain) * Better cognitive functioning (the ability of the brain to recruit one or more brain regions in coherent, analytical thought affecting learning, memory and decision making) * Improved neurovascular coupling (the relationship between local neural activity and subsequent changes in cerebral blood flow) * Improved angiogenesis (the development of new blood vessels) * Reduced inflammation * Reduced arterial stiffness * Greater metabolic control

Brain health is a key component in delivering a better quality of life as we age. Exercise that benefits us in this specific area decreases the likelihood of reduced function due to ageing or crippling disease.

Stronger and Fitter in Less Time

Recent research carried out the University of British Columbia at Okanagan demonstrates that the physical benefits of HIIT workouts versus continuous moderate-intensity exercise that requires longer times and greater frequency are:

Increase in explosiveness, speed and agility * Improved cardiovascular health * Increase in peak power output * Higher aerobic performance * Better metabolic capacity * Faster fat reduction * Greater endurance * There is even evidence that HIIT helps combat and reverse type 2 diabetes, and can deliver significant health benefits to people suffering from obesity or cardiovascular disorders and increases muscle density in those who engage in it across all age groups and physical levels of fitness.

The mechanism through which HIIT training delivers such powerful results for such small investment in training time was discovered in a study undertaken by principal investigator Håkan Westerblad, professor at Karolinska Institutet’s Department of Physiology and Pharmacology which took muscle biopsies after HIIT sessions. The biopsies showed significant disruption in the calcium channels of individual cells within the muscle. Calcium channel disruption triggers strong adaptive response in individual cells and encourages the production of mitochondria that act as power plants within a cell. HIIT therefore causes adaptive changes at a cellular level that improve fuel efficiency and power output of muscle fibers.

HIIT: How Often and at What Age?

This begs the question: are there limitations in the number of times we could do HIIT and are there age restrictions that apply? Research carried out by the Department of Life and Health Sciences at the University of Nicosia, Cyprus and the School of Physical Education and Sports Science, National and Kapodistrian University of Athens, Greece indicates that three to four times a week is the maximum beneficial number of times HIIT should be engaged in for maximal results.

The reason for this lies in the mechanical damage suffered by the muscles during HIIT work which requires adequate rest in order to recover and improve performance. The recovery period will have to be adapted to each person’s recovery speed which differs according to a wide range of factors that include diet, medical history, sex and fitness level so it’s worth experimenting with frequency until you find what works best for you. That means that you might have to go down in the number of HIIT sessions per week but it is highly unlikely that you will go up.

Are there any age restrictions when it comes to HIIT?

A Mayo Clinic study that looked at changes to the skeletal muscles at a cellular level found that HIIT benefits individuals at any age and there is no upper limit that would stop people from doing it. The study revealed that HIIT may help reverse some of the ageing process by increasing the capacity of cells to express very specific genes as a result of adaptations they undergo because of the intensity of the HIIT workout.

When it comes to placing a lower age limit a recent study carried out Dr David Moreau, at the University of Auckland in New Zealand looked at the effects of HIIT on 318 young children between 7 and 13 years. The findings showed that in addition to the expected beneficial changes in cardiovascular fitness and strength, there were significant cognitive improvements experienced by all the children.

In addition, other studies have shown that short bouts of exercise alleviate some of the difficulties typically associated with Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) in children. The only stipulation for young children is that the HIIT session is between ten and twenty minutes long to account for their age.

Summary

HIIT training resets the body and mind, turning back the clock for older participants and significantly boosting the performance of both mind and body for younger ones. As with all forms of exercise it is best when it is tailored to age and ability to help reach and overcome existing limits without running the risk of exhaustion or overtraining.}}

The workout was beneficial, even though it was light.

This week my goal is to progress forward (even if at a turtle's pace 🐢), as peacefully and as healthily as possible - all the while, earnestly praying 🙏 to Almighty God ☝️ that the rain stops and the sun starts showing itself warmly, brightly, and for significant lengthy periods of time.

A few minutes ago, I posted a Holy Week reflection post 🕎📖✝️:

Today's earlier posting - IMMANUEL~Holy Week 2026 #2; Castle Rock-WA: https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2026/03/immanuelholy-week-2026-2-castle-rock-wa.html

And now - I'm going to shut myself in my She Room; where I can spread my WIP out on the spare bunk, & comfortably work on it ✂️; find a movie to watch 💻🎬 without needing to use earphones (maybe yo-yo 😊 between movies and music tunes 🎶) … and unwind for the remainder of the evening.

Whatever it takes. 

I'm finishing up in the She Room: whatever it takes.

This is all there is; when it's gone, the afghan is done for sure.

IMMANUEL~Holy Week 2026 #2; Castle Rock-WA

The name Immanuel is Hebrew in origin and translates to “God with us”. It symbolizes God’s promise to be present with His people, offering guidance, protection, and comfort in times of need (Isaiah 7:13-14). This name is both a prophecy and a theological statement about God’s closeness to humanity.

{{The Lord spoke, saying, "Hear now, House of David; Is it a small thing for you to weary men, but will you weary Elohim also? You will be given a sign - and the sign shall be, that a virgin will become pregnant & birth a son, & shall Name him, Immanuel."~Isaiah 7:13-14}}

This prophecy was a sign of hope, indicating that Elohei would intervene in the affairs of Israel, and be present with His people during times of political and spiritual crisis.

The New Covenant Gospels state plainly that Immanuel is directly associated with Yeshua, emphasizing that through Him, Elohei is present among humanity: The Gospel of Matthew dictates that Isaiah's prophecy was fulfilled in the birth of Yeshua Ha'Mashiach:

{{Now the humanized birth of Yeshua Ha'Mashiach came about in this manner: when his mother, Mary, was pledged by marital contract to Joseph - before they came together, she was found to be with holy child. Then Joseph her promised husband, being a just man, & not willing to publicly shame her, was considering a private break of the marital contract. But while he was thinking on this matter, the Angel of The Lord appeared to him as he slept, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not worry about wifing Mary - for the child she carries in her womb is by holy design; and she shall birth a son, & you will Name Him, Yeshua: for He shall save His people from their sins." Now all this was done accordingly, that the prophecy spoken by The Lord to the prophet Isaiah, would be fulfilled - "Behold, a virgin shall be with child, & shall birth a son, and He will be Named, Immanuel, which means 'God with us'. The Joseph rose up from his bed & did as the Angel directed him, to do; and straight away married Mary: and did not take Husband rights with her until she had birthed her firstborn son, named Yeshua.~Matthew 1:18-25}}

Yeshua is the Hebrew name for Jesus, meaning "Yahweh saves" or "The Lord saves." In contrast, Immanuel is a prophetic title meaning "God with us," which emphasizes Jesus' divine nature and mission. While Yeshua is the personal name of Jesus, Immanuel is a title that signifies His role as God incarnate, living among humanity to bring salvation.

Aaron 🎶 Immanuel - Sea of Galilee Lyric Video עמנואל 📜 ים כנרת:  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dl5iPXltMH4&list=RDDl5iPXltMH4&start_radio=1)

When Yeshua rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, He went to the Temple & was righteously upset at what he saw, heard, & felt. Being the Son of God - He had every right, and absolute authority, to do as He saw fit in His Father's House.

The cleansing of the Temple is a significant event in the life of Yeshua, described in the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. John 2:13-17 describes Jesus entering the Temple and driving out those selling animals and money changers:

{{And the Passover was at hand; Yeshua went up into Jerusalem, and found in the Temple those that sold oxen & sheep & doves - and the money changers, sitting: and when He had made a scourge of small cords, He drove them out of the Temple, & the sheep, & the oxen, poured out the money changers money, & turned over the tables; and said to them that sold doves, "Get these things out of here - My Father's House will not be a house of merchandise!" Then His disciples recalled what was written concerning the zealousness of respect for Elohim.~John 2:13-17}}

Matthew 21:12-13 records Jesus overturning the tables of the money changers and the seats of those selling doves, emphasizing the need for purity in worship.

{{And Yeshua went into the Temple of Elohei, and drove out all those that were selling & buying in the Temple, & turned over the tables of the money changers - and the seats of those that sold doves. And he said to them, "It is written, 'My House shall be called the House of Prayer' - but you have turned it into a den of thieves!"~Matthew 21:12-13}}

This event underscores Jesus' authority and passion for the sanctity of God's house, highlighting the importance of worship and reverence.

* March 29, 2026 - HOSHIANA~Palm Sunday 2026; Castle Rock-WA: 

https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2026/03/hoshianapalm-sunday-2026-castle-rock-wa.html

HOSHIANA~Palm Sunday 2026; Castle Rock-WA

Palm Sunday, March 29, 2026, marks the beginning of Holy Week - starting with Yeshua's entry into Jerusalem, where he was met with throngs of people laying palm branches and cloaks on the road, a gesture of honor and messianic hope. The unfolding of this event identified Yeshua as the promised Messiah - the King of peace and humility, contrasting with the expectations of a military leader.

Matthew 21:1-11 describes to us - from ancient eye-witnesses, how Yeshua entered Jerusalem on a donkey & to the crowd’s cries of “Hoshiana!” echoed Psalms and brought to mind memories of Jewish liberation under figures like David and Solomon: fulfilling the prophecy of Messiah, foretold in Zechariah 9:9, which underscored the event … "Rejoice greatly, O Daughter of Zion! Shout in triumph, O Daughter of Jerusalem! See, your King comes to you, righteous and victorious, humble and riding on a donkey".

Yeshua enters Jerusalem

This Messianic event is rooted in Jewish tradition, where palm branches were used to honor figures like David and Solomon, and they became a symbol of liberation from oppression. The celebration includes recitations of the story of Yeshua's triumphal entry, which is recorded across all four Gospels (Matthew 21:1-11, Mark 11:1-11, Luke 19:28-44, and John 12:12-19). The use of palm branches as a symbol of Jewish national independence gained prominence following the Maccabean victory. This imagery persisted into the time of Jesus, where it was employed by the people as a sign of their messianic hopes, hoping for liberation from Roman rule. [And when they got closer to Jerusalem and the Mount of Olives, Yeshua said to two disciples, "Go into the village there, and you will find a donkey tied with her colt - bring them to me. And if any man should try to stop you, say to him, "the Lord has need of these; and he will stand aside." All this was done accordingly, that prophecy would be fulfilled that was spoken by the prophet Zechariah, saying, Tell the Daughter of Zion (referring to the city of Jerusalem), Behold! your King comes to you - humble, and riding a donkey, with her colt. And the disciples went, and did as Yeshua had directed them, and brought the donkey  and her colt; and placed upon them their cloaks, and they set Him atop. And a great mass of people spread their cloaks and shawls on the ground before Him as He passed - others cut palm fronds, and laid them on the ground before Him. And the crowds before Him, and following, cried with a loud voice, "Hoshiana to the Son of David (a direct Messianic reference): blessed is He that comes in the name of The Lord; Hoshiana in the highest!" And when he had passed into Jerusalem, the people there asked, 'Who is this?" And the crowds of people surrounding Him, said, "This is Yeshua the prophet of Nazareth of galilee." ~Matthew 21:1-11]

The word "Hoshiana" comes from the Hebrew phrase הושיעה נא (hoshi’a na), which combines two elements: the verb ישע (yasha'), meaning "to save" or "to deliver," and the particle נא (na'), meaning "please" or expressing entreaty. Together, the phrase literally translates as "Save, please!" or "Please, Lord, save us!". It is an imperative form, making it a direct plea for help or deliverance.

Joshua Aaron - Hoshiana 🎶 Jerusalem: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGW62zTwfiw&list=RDBGW62zTwfiw&start_radio=1)

In the New Covenant, in the Gospel of John - John specifically mentions palm branches during Jesus’ entry into Jerusalem (John 12:12-13), highlighting the historical implication of the intent behind the palm branches. In the Book of Revelation John describes a vision of heaven where multitudes hold palm branches, symbolically linking past, present, and future redemption: [I beheld a great multitude, which no man could number, of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues - stood before the throne, and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palms in their hands; and cried with a loud voice, saying, "Salvation to our God, Who sits on the throne - and unto the Lamb." And all the angels stood round about the throne and the four beasts, and fell before the throne on their faces, and worshipped Elohim, saying, "Amen: Blessing and glory, and wisdom, and thanksgiving, and honor, and power, and might, be to our God for ever and ever. Amen." ~Revelation 7:9-12]

CIRCLES; Shabbat Afternoon 2026; Castle Rock-WA

My husband says I'm "too picky" about who I fellowship with.

I say he's not discerning = light does not sit with darkness.

While I can be cordial with strangers & associates … I keep my inner circle small.

I know who has my back. Who can [read] me as soon as I show up. Who [feels] me when I am absent. Who knows the King & is so familiar with the Throne Room, they stand with me and FOR me: interceding on my behalf when when I am so overwhelmed, words fail. These precious people hold my hand & help me reach for the hem of His garment.

Best Friends (center of circle = bullseye): 1 or 2 dearest, trusted, loved ones. They know you - their love is unquestionable, and they are faithful to keep your confidences between you, them, and Elohim. They unwaveringly stand with you, through thick and thin. Your walk with Yeshua & your spiritual depth, is fairly equal. Together, you can move mountains through prayer, encouragement, and loyalties.

Special Friends: 2 to 4 closest friends outside the center circle; these people are also dear to you - but their walk with Yeshua may not be the maturity level your spirit requires & they may not as strongly bonded to you as your bullseye friends.

Social Friends: 4 to 10 people you spend quite a bit of time with - usually in a group gathering. You share some of yourself with them … but they only know what you allow them to know about you.

Casual friends: 10 to 50 people you socialize with. These people are more like acquaintances than actual friends. You know each other on sight, you may remember names, and you may engage in social activities together - but that's as far as things go.

Outside the Circle: Strangers & adversaries. You may pass each other in corridors, hallways, on the street, in supermarket aisles … but you do not interact on a personal level.

Your circle matters.

So, YES - I AM "picky".

COMPASSION~Shabbat Afternoon 2026; Castle Rock-WA

The man doesn't know that there is a snake underneath.

The woman doesn't know that there is a stone crushing the man.

The woman thinks, “I am going to fall! And I can’t climb because the snake is going to bite me! Why can’t the man use a little more strength and pull me up!”

The man thinks, “I am in so much pain! Yet I’m still pulling you as much as I can! Why don’t you try and climb a little harder?!”

The moral is ~ you can’t see the pressure the other person is under, and the other person can’t see the pain you’re in.

This is life, whether it’s with work, family, feelings or friends, we should try to understand each other.

Learn to think differently, perhaps more clearly and communicate better.

A little thought and patience goes a long way.

BUTTERFLY & LIGHTHOUSE SECURITIES~Shabbat Eve Thoughts 2026; Castle Rock-WA

Not feeling so hot 😞 … I had a rough start to my Day, this morning: my throat is raw from the coughing, hacking up thick white mucus, & my chest aches with labored breathing; a light migraine headache was starting - I finally got up, so Holland could get the sleep his body needs to heal.

While waiting for my coffee to finish dripping, I listened to the trilling songs of early birds, outside my home's 4 walls:

7:25 AM; Happy birdsong, somewhere outside.

I'm just happy to be out of bed & able to enjoy a cup of coffee.

I've been been laid low 🤧😴🛌 with bronchitis - which, thank the Lord 🙏, did not lead to asthma complications; I've been sleeping a lot - sometimes, literally falling asleep with my crochet hook in hand; and I am as shaky as a newborn kitten, when I stand up or engage in lengthy activities like cooking supper or washing dishes. I've also been drinking a lot of water, herbal teas, and broths, to stay hydrated. My lagging immune system is fighting to keep my lungs clear during this period of time where viral infections (cold or flu - either is possible with all the cold, wet weather we've been experiencing), allergens (all the Park trees are in pretty pastel bloom), or environmental irritants (the freeway traffic, nearly at our front door, never ends) … all lead to respiratory struggle, and my body's defense system goes into high-gear-action to fight off sensory overloads = coughing, asthma episodes, sneezing, itchy watering eyes, & sore throat from nasal drainage. Recovery occurs within 7-10 days for healthy adults - though people with asthma, COPD, or compromised immune systems may experience a longer recovery period.

My energy battery is seriously strained.

So, for the next couple of days, I'm just gonna keep things simple & low-key until at least the middle of April.

Holland wants to drive across the River, when he wakes up - to retrieve the mail … and he's wanting to stop in Kelso, on the way home: there's no way I can do that - any of that. My entire being is screaming out for rest, so I’m listening - and putting my foot down, standing up for ME. Without guilt.

I don't want to go anywhere.

I don't want to be pulled into conversation.

While normally, I am a blend of both Type #1 & Type #2 … when energy is lagging, I tend to become more isolating. I like to have my husband near to me, but I don't necessarily feel the need to be interacting all the time. Just lifting my head to look around now and then - and seeing him; and sometimes saying "oh, hello!" is enough, combined with all the quiet activity I'm already experiencing: when my energy is lagging, I have a LOT going on in my head (defenses which would keep constant thoughts somewhat reined in, is weakened & there is too much unrestraint  fighting for attention in my head space) and I have lots of stuff spread out on my table - because I want to stay productively busy, instead of sleeping the Day away.

I also want to take this recoup time to reflect on ways to "redeem the time": this is where butterflies and lighthouses come into play 😉

Both represent a change of course.

Both offer a chance to move forward through uncharted waters.

I feel a pricking in my spirit to allow changes to take place here: here, where so much pain (my current husband's & mine) was inflicted. There is a [redeeming] that needs to take place, in both of our lives. Redeeming means to recover ownership, pay off, convert, fulfill, set free, or restore something; compensation (correcting an imbalance) for faults or deficiencies (honor, worth, reputation), or to serve as compensation (make amends or recover losses = to be equivalent in value or effect to; to counterbalance; to make up for). There is a lot to think about, as to the pricking 'why'!

Over the past 1,143 days, we’ve dealt with some pretty intense things - both individually, & as a couple: concerning health issues that need addressed, soon; severe & 'historic' weather upheavals; intense politics that can seriously affect our chosen lifestyle, as escalating fuel-groceries-& space rents cause us to pause & reflect on our next movement; unsettling world affairs that are causing chaos in our own country - most notably in major cities, which also causes us to pause & reflex on cautious routes forward. Add to those complexities the personal battles simultaneously fought through - sometimes shouldered together … but most often struggled through alone: as well as 3 unexpected deaths, & 1 expected in 2025; & 2 lingering as 2026 moves forward (from both camps of our united merger union).

2022 was overall good on a personal level, because I was rapidly healing more & more. Then just before the 2023 New Year, my life took a serious turn. Remarriage. Despite what some may think … I had given this turn of events serious consideration before taking the leap. I knew I had a lot of baggage tagged to my evolving Life. I know I am a handful, literally & figuratively - though I do not have a flashing neon sign over my heart signaling, "proceed with caution" - I do verbally warn significant life partners that I can be a loose bullet at times, always asking, "are you sure you want this?" to drive home the point I am making. I have baggage. I will be a lot to handle, at times.

In the 4 years leading up to the 2023 remarriage, I had suffered a heartbreaking shift from Wife to Widow; suffered a total break with my aging children, & the loss of my grandchildren. I had, by the summer of 2022, been in a welcome recovery from all of that heart, emotional, and spiritual pain: I felt I had successfully escaped the triggers riding the waves of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that had sunk roots, following my husband's physical death - and the ensuing family drama fallout that piggybacked on that Life blow. After years of wading through anxiety, flashbacks, irrational guilt, pent up rage, and sleepless nights; my Life was feeling more settled. I felt like some peace was finally at play in my Life. So, when my new man entered my Life in a big way, I embraced him enthusiastically, and after carefully weighing the pros and cons of remarriage, I said "Yes".

I didn't know that my new husband would also be bringing a truckload of his own recent personal traumas into the Life we were forging - and his pain would be a raw as mine. Most of our struggles would be similar, and hinge on the same trigger points. We would be caught in a looping cat-and-mouse shuffle in the ways we dealt with each triggering bouts of CPTSD symptoms … that would usher in new & fresh waves of depression, anxiety, flashbacks, irrational guilt, pent up rage, and sleepless nights. Our love for each other is unshakable - but our marriage is complicated. Perhaps it was naïve for either of us to think that our marital merger would put us beyond the point of suffering severe bouts of CPTSD symptoms; neither of us were expecting the complicating fallout. But we are slowly learning that this undertaking will likely be a lifelong journey of healing.

And Holland is learning a better way of dealing with issues - than the cut-and-run way his family (both sides) have dealt with struggles. He's learning that staying has healing benefits, that jumping up and running never will: lighthouse securities happen in turbulent times.

The good news is that although it is painful and exhausting, we no longer allow sneaker wave episodes to run our days - we recover quickly now. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. While the hard times, when they come, are painful; we're no longer "stuck" in the emotions stirred up. We complete the trauma cycle and feel the heals, each and every time. Regardless of individual scars, flaws, imperfections carried over from the Past into our Present … or those newer scars, flaws, and imperfections birthed by this new union - on which our Future will be shored up.

Exhausting? You betcha 😂 Worthwhile? Words can’t describe: no birth is ever easy 🙏🏼 Stuff will be stirred up again in time, and I now know that I’ll face it head on and come out stronger in the end, once again. Healing is worth it. It sucks, but it's worth it.

Regardless of what others think or say, understand or don’t understand. We own our journey; and we're proud of it. We've struggled - but we've also grown. Growth is messy; but it's also necessary for a healthy Life. Self-care and rest is also needed: time-outs, and wholesome resting is good and healthy … and we can do that, in peace now. Peace of mind, body, and spirit. And no one feels left out, or gets offended.

Dolly Parton - 'Love Is Like a Butterfly' Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23jj_lY-HYc&list=RD23jj_lY-HYc&start_radio=1)

Thanks to all of you that have journeyed with me through the years, loving on me unconditionally & encouraging me with steadfast, faithful love - for listening with your inner ear as you read my evolution postings. I sincerely hope you are continuously doing the work to heal what needs healing in you also & know that each of you are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you’re able to love yourself enough now to let go of what no longer serves … and know that you deserve peace. Joy is your birthright.

{{Caterpillars do die to become butterflies. This process is part of their metamorphosis, where they undergo a transformation that involves significant cellular breakdown. During the pupal stage, the caterpillar's body is digested by enzymes, leading to the formation of the chrysalis, which is the protective shell that forms inside the caterpillar. The caterpillar's body "melts" almost completely, and it releases nutrients that are used to build the new butterfly body parts. While some cells may die, others, like stem cells, survive and play a crucial role in the transformation. Thus, the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly is a complex biological process that includes death and regeneration. https://www.gardenswithwings.com/knowledge-nook/science-metamorphosis-butterfly }}

Perhaps - just maybe … my husband has a point in stating, "God wants you in WA". And if that is so - then, it is also quite possible that the "reason" is not for the reason my husband is thinking. It's highly likely that the changes to take place here, where so much pain was inflicted; involves a redeeming that needs to take place, in both of our lives 🤔

THAT is the "feeling" I am getting 💯🦋💞

As we all head into the weekend, this is your gentle reminder to pause, breathe, and let God restore the places that feel worn down. You don’t have to carry it all on your own - so, I'm sending out love, prayers, & healing vibes to all who need them. In Yeshua's Name, Amen 🕊️