GOD KNEW I NEEDED YOU

Monday, August 10, 2026

PLANTING SEEDS~Self-Care 2026; Castle Rock-WA

You’ve done the work.

You took action.

You’ve planted the seeds … now T R U S T

Let your dreams and hopes grow 🌻

I like this picture, and commentary, from Heather Stillufsen: it fits, today.

We have a lot going on 📝📲📅💸, here, in Castle Rock-WA; things that need taken care of before anything else happens going forward - those things have been set in motion … but the cogs that turn the wheel are taking time 😕. So, we will be set down here until sometime in the Spring 🌷📅, of 2027. But that hasn't put a serious crimp in our Road Gypsying: that is still in play. Holland has been researching 🦁💻 And Planning 🤔🗺️ Planting seeds of hope 🌱, with an eye towards a future tomorrow 📌, full of promise 😊 and geared towards success 👍

In the meanwhile, I am doing what needs to be done here personally, as a team, and as an individual that hates to sit on her hands - I'm getting out more while we are here (and when the weather & atmosphere, permits) ⛽️🚘📸 I know the local area, and I have friends 📱💬🚘👭 here, that have not seen me in a while: and the time out-of-house solo lobo, gives my husband a break from steady chatter 😵‍💫 … plus, I'm steadily working my way through the books David loaned me 2 years ago:

David had loaned me 12 books; the white tabbed ones are my own & will be given to him, also.
The current  Clive Cussler novel I am reading; I'm about half way through the entire cache.
Tonight's quick supper: 
VAL'S FANCY SWEET POTATO MASH FOR 2 Recipe; Castle Rock-WA:  (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2026/08/vals-fancy-sweet-potato-mash-for-2.html)

Today is a low-key Day - but not so low-key, that I shirked my workout 😉

I like to work my  body 🏋️‍♀️🧘  - I have always done so, and even approaching my 70th year on Earth, I feel it is crucial to keep my body active & my muscles up to the task required of them. Especially living now, as a Road Gypsy. I need to know that my body is capable of helping if/when called into action.

And my husband is finally understanding my mindset; and getting behind my offers of help. He has some pretty definite ideas concerning gender roles - and in the beginning of our marriage that annoyed and upset both of us. I was raised to be independent. My first husband allowed me the freedom to be independent - by that, I mean that Bob understood I wouldn't stray from the marital bonds … but, I would need to do my walkabouts for physical strength as well as whole-body wellness. He worked from 3 AM to 5 PM … and sometimes, if machinery needed mechanic work, he wouldn't be getting home until 7 or 9 PM. Every week day & sometimes on a weekend. He did not always want to be ferrying me around in the countryside on weekends. Occasionally, I would go with him on weekend mechanic work days & get my nature fix (Bob was a logger 20 of our 44 years together); on weekends. When he was home, I would occasionally say, "I need to get out & walk - the kids are yours until I get back. Don't let the kids burn the house down." We were both OK with that arrangement - everyone got a carefree day, & I got my nature fix, as well as a full body workout. I also stretch exercised every morning … and eventually got a full size workout gym for more intense workouts with weights. I did not train like muscle-bound body building females … I just worked out for a smooth, sleek, toned body that could aid, when necessary team work was called into play.

With Holland, things are different. We live a more sedate 🥔 lifestyle - with a more macho 🤠 testosterones overshadow; so working my body has been hit & miss. Holland didn't like the idea of me using weights 🏋️‍♀️ He didn't want me hiking 🚶‍♀️ alone. He likes me "soft & fluffy" - the "way a woman should be". HUH. That didn't go over well with me. I like using weights, and I said so, adding: "I'm not wanting to look like a female Arnold Schwarzenegger, & I'm not trying to 'show you up' … but, I do want to be able pull my own weight, and step in to help if needed. I need to be able to lift, heft, an slide those propane tanks into place - if you get sick and we need heat to eat, or stay warm. I need you to feel comfortable with that. We are a Team & we need to work together in our gypsy lifestyle. Plus, Betsy is a beast & she pulls hard: I need the muscle to keep her aiming straight & true when I'm driving her. The skimpy bit of weight lifting I do now - compared to what I used to do … is necessary." So, after 2 years of haggling, he's finally in agreement 🤝 And, I've agreed to cap the weights I lift, at 10-lbs. max ✌🏻: that gives the strength & muscle definition I want, avoids the bulk 💪 my husband thinks I'm aiming for (I just want to feel & look good in my clothes - I do not want to look like a muscle-bound freak), and it avoids causing undue injury to an aging body. I am agreeing to carry bear spray and additional protection 🎒🚶‍♀️ when I hike alone, now; I don't feel I need it, but it eases his mind that I am agreeing. At 69, & married to a macho-minded man, I'm a bit more soft & fluffy than I want to be … so, I'm insisting on a daily exercise workout 🚶‍♀️🏋️‍♀️🧘, when it's doable: if I can't do a morning workout, I try to get an afternoon or evening workout, in: sometimes asthma complications cut into all that; but generally, I have been able to stick to a daily routine for about a year, now. And my husband is seeing that the workouts are not buffing me up - but they are doing wonders for my well-being. Now … if he would agree to cut back on the fatty foods, my soft & fluffy body would still be curvy and "womanly" at a smaller version 😘

Darebee Shadowheart Workout is a low-intensity interval training (LIIT) routine from Darebee designed for joint-friendly, sustainable fitness that’s ideal for beginners, those recovering from injury, or anyone wanting to avoid high-impact exercise. Workout Type & Benefits: Shadowheart is a LIIT (Low Intensity Interval Training) session, meaning it alternates short bursts of moderate effort with longer rest periods. This format (1) Builds cardiovascular endurance without excessive joint stress (2) Supports weight management while being gentle on joints (3) Helps maintain fitness after a layoff or during injury recovery. Structure & Levels - The workout is offered in three levels of sets: Level 1: 3 sets; Level II; 5 sets; Level III: 7 sets. Each level uses the same core movements but increases volume, with a rest period of 2 minutes between sets. Shadowheart is a Low Intensity Interval Training (LIIT) workout that delivers all the health benefits LIIT has to offer. This makes it the perfect workout to choose if you're getting back to fitness after a long lay-off or an injury, are exercising to lose weight and want to be kind to your joints or if you have joint problems and want to avoid anything that is high-impact.

Sorry the videos are so rough, but I cannot upload them anymore to this Blogger format, from where I find them. I don't know what the problem is with the current Blogger format, but uploading YouTube videos and other online videos is no longer an option - so, I have to record what I can & post them that way, which makes the results a little murky … and YouTube links, only through the addy.

A 20 sec. time = a normal, rhythmic count of 1 to 20
Muscles Worked
Standing SMALL Arm Circles~Aim for 10–15 reps, front & back x3
Standing LARGE Arm Circles~Aim for 10–15 reps, front & back x3
Shoulder Lateral raises~Aim for 10–15 reps  x3
Up & Down Arm Scissors Chop~Aim for 10-15 reps x3

If you want a strong core & toned abs, you need to work for them; but that doesn't just require you to work hard, it needs you to work smart. Anywhere Abs is a workout that helps you get the abs you want by working out even when most people think you can't. These are quick, easy exercises you can do almost any place, in almost any clothing.

The Darebee Anywhere Abs Workout is designed to help you build and define your abdominal muscles through various exercises that can be performed almost anywhere. If needed - support can be beneficial to help you do these sets (hold onto a table, chair back or countertop for the leg raises & lean against a wall or door jamb for the knee-to-elbow crunch - or do the crunch sitting in a chair). The workout is structured to be repeated regularly, promoting consistency and helping to strengthen both abdominal and lower back muscles.

A reasonably healthy 70 year old woman is capable of a 10-15 rep x3 EA exercise.
Muscles Worked
Standing Side Leg Lifts~Aim for 10–15 reps EA side x3
Body Twists~Aim for 10-15 twists x3
Standing Backside Leg Swing~Aim for 10-15 reps EA Leg, x3
Standing Alternating Knee-to-Elbow Crunch~Aim for 5 reps EA Leg (10 reps total) x3

{{The Benefits Of Low Intensity Interval Training (LIIT)

Low Intensity Interval Training - LIIT - is interval training with the dial turned down: the same work-and-rest structure as HIIT, built from low-impact movements done at a gentle, sustainable pace, with recovery generously built in. Its benefits are real and specific: for fat loss it performs on par with harder training when the amount of exercise is matched, because the evidence keeps finding that how much you train matters more than how hard; done with honest effort it builds genuine muscle and endurance; it spares joints, tendons and the cardiovascular system the pounding that high-impact work delivers; and - quietly its biggest advantage - it produces workouts you will actually repeat, which makes it the method of choice if you are carrying extra weight, new to training, returning after illness, injury or a long break, or training in later life. It is a complete training method in its own right, and for many people the best possible on-ramp to everything else. Here is the evidence and how to use it.

What LIIT Actually Is

Take a HIIT workout's skeleton - short blocks of work separated by rests, repeated for a set number of rounds - and change three settings: the movements become low-impact (marches instead of jump squats, step jacks instead of jumping jacks, no airborne phase anywhere), the pace becomes one you could sustain with steady breathing rather than a sprint you survive, and the rests grow long enough to genuinely recover in. What remains is still interval training - work, rest, repeat, with effort honest enough to feel - and that structure is what separates LIIT from a mere stroll: within each work block you are still asking your muscles and heart for more than rest, just never for more than your joints and your next session can afford. Most DAREBEE workouts convert to LIIT on the spot: pick the low-impact variation of each exercise, take the slowest listed pace, and rest fully between sets.

What The Evidence Says

For fat loss, amount beats intensity. In the randomized trial that tested this directly, 300 abdominally obese adults exercised for 24 weeks at different combinations of amount and intensity: waistlines and weight fell across the exercising groups with the amount of exercise doing the work - the higher intensity did not deliver more fat loss for the same time spent, though it added an extra benefit for blood sugar control. The practical translation: minutes of movement you can actually accumulate outperform intensity you cannot sustain.

Low intensity trains real fitness. In untrained and returning exercisers, low-intensity endurance work measurably improves cardiovascular fitness - the less trained you are, the lower the intensity that still forces adaptation, which is precisely why LIIT works best for exactly the people it is designed for. Muscle responds too, provided the effort is honest: the meta-analysis comparing light and heavy resistance training found muscle growth essentially equivalent when lighter work is taken close to genuine fatigue - the muscle-building signal comes from effort and accumulated work, not from impact or load alone.

The deep engine adapts on the same schedule. When researchers trained groups with either low-intensity or high-intensity endurance work and measured durability - how long performance resists fading as fatigue accumulates - both improved it by about the same amount. High intensity buys some things gentler work cannot, chiefly top-end capacity - but the everyday quality of lasting longer before tiring is available at the gentle end of the dial too.

It carries the health and brain benefits. The systematic review of low-intensity exercise in older adults found improvements in physical function and cognitive health from exactly this grade of activity - the whole-body case for movement, from bones to brain, does not require the movement to hurt.

The Adherence Advantage

There is a reason the brutal January workout so often ends the fitness year in February, and it is not weakness of character. The brain assigns value to activities based on how they felt - the dopamine system that drives us to seek or avoid things learns from experience - and a workout far beyond current capacity, like the 100 burpees attempted on day one, teaches exactly the wrong lesson: crushing discomfort now, days of soreness after, and a mind that quietly files training under "avoid". The same workout inside your capacity teaches the opposite. LIIT is adherence engineering: sessions that end with something left in the tank build a positive account with the very system that decides whether you show up tomorrow - and since the fat-loss evidence says showing up is the active ingredient, the gentle workout you repeat all year beats the fierce one you did twice.

The Joint Ledger

Every workout spends from a recovery budget, and high-impact work spends twice: once on the adaptation you wanted and once on the repair of the pounding that joints, tendons and connective tissue absorbed. LIIT strips the second cost out. With no airborne landings and no maximal strain, the body's recovery budget goes to building - stronger muscle, better endurance, more stable joints - rather than to patching, which matters most for exactly the bodies LIIT serves: extra weight multiplies every landing's force, detrained tendons adapt on the slow clock the connective tissue guide describes, and older joints have less repair headroom to spare. This is also why LIIT works as every-day or near-every-day training when HIIT cannot: what costs little to recover from can be practiced often, and frequency is where its results quietly come from.

LIIT is the right tool if you are: carrying extra weight; new to exercise; returning from injury, illness or a long break; training through later years; or building the consistency habit that every other kind of training will later stand on.

Common Mistakes

Confusing low intensity with low effort. The work blocks still need to feel like work - muscles warming, breath deepening. LIIT that never asks anything changes nothing; the dial is turned down, not off.

Treating LIIT as the lesser method. For fat loss at matched time, for beginners' fitness gains, for durability, the evidence shows it holding its own. Different tool, not worse tool.

Never progressing. The same session at the same effort eventually stops being a demand. Add rounds, shorten rests, quicken the pace - gently, but steadily.

Graduating too early. The move toward higher intensity is earned by weeks of consistent, comfortable LIIT - jumping to HIIT at the first sign of progress reintroduces exactly the costs you were avoiding.

Comparing your pace to anyone else's. The trial data is about amount and consistency. Your sustainable pace, repeated, is the winning strategy at every fitness level.

What To Expect

Expect to finish early sessions feeling worked but not wrecked - that is the design functioning, not a sign you went too easy - and expect the first rewards inside two to three weeks: everyday movement feeling lighter, stairs friendlier, sessions recovering faster. Fat loss arrives on the amount-of-exercise schedule: steady accumulation over months of consistent sessions, with the scale and tape rewarding regularity rather than heroics. Fitness climbs fastest at the start, precisely because low intensity is fully sufficient stimulus for a body new or returning to training - and as that stops being true, you will feel it: sessions turning comfortable end to end, which is the signal to progress the dial or, when the appetite is there, to graduate a workout or two toward HIIT, arriving with joints, tendons and habits already prepared. Some people graduate; many simply stay, because a training method you genuinely keep doing is the rarest kind - and expect that to be the option nobody warned you was allowed.

The Goal: Honest Effort, Gentle Impact, Relentless Consistency

Train LIIT as interval work with the dial turned down: low-impact movements, a sustainable pace, full rests, and effort honest enough that the work blocks feel like work. Let amount and frequency carry the results the evidence says they carry - fat loss, fitness, durability, brain and body health - progress the dial gently as sessions turn comfortable, and treat the graduation to higher intensity as an option earned, never an obligation. The workout you repeat is the one that works.

Summary: LIIT is interval training built from low-impact movements at a sustainable pace with generous rests - HIIT's structure with the dial turned down, and a complete method rather than a compromise. The evidence: in the 300-person randomized trial, fat loss tracked the amount of exercise rather than its intensity (intensity added blood-sugar benefits only); low-intensity endurance work reliably builds fitness in untrained and returning exercisers; light work taken close to honest fatigue grows muscle on par with heavy work in the pooled trials; durability - resistance to fatigue - improved equally from low- and high-intensity endurance training; and the systematic review in older adults ties this grade of exercise to physical and cognitive health. Its two structural advantages: adherence (the dopamine system learns from how workouts feel, so sessions within capacity build the habit that punishing ones destroy - and consistency is the active ingredient) and the joint ledger (no impact means the recovery budget is spent adapting, not repairing, which is why LIIT can be trained near-daily). Right tool for extra weight, beginners, comebacks, and later life; wrong only when effort drops to zero or progression never comes. Graduate to HIIT if and when you want to - staying is allowed.

https://darebee.com/fitness/liit-exercise-program-for-weightloss-fitness.html }}

We're doing the work.

We're taking action.

We're planting seeds, and watering them with hope & prayer.

Trusting Elohim to grow our hopes & dreams 🌻

VAL'S FANCY SWEET POTATO MASH FOR 2 Recipe; Castle Rock-WA

Val's Fancy Sweet Potato Mash For 2; Castle Rock-WA

Sweet Potatoes are a tasty side dish - you can mash them, bake them, or put them in a casserole 👩‍🍳 Tonight, we ate them deliciously mashed 😊‍ 

The mash was paired with oven-baked fried chicken 🍗 (pulled from the freezer & reheated), along with cooked peas & pre-baked biscuits, reheated in the microwave.

A pretty simple, quick tasty meal ⏲️; perfect for a low-key, laid-back Day .

If you want a family-size yam mash recipe, just double the ingredients to serve 6 😘

Val's Fancy Sweet Potato Mash For 2

2 pounds Sweet Potatoes (about 3 medium), peeled and cut into uniform chunks - a bit largish * 1 tsp. teaspoons Himalayan Pink Salt * 1 tsp. Bacon Grease * 1/3 c. Sweet White Onion, shredded * 1/3 Red Bell pepper, chopped * 1/3 Yellow Bell pepper, chopped * 1 TBSP Parsley, chopped * 1 Garlic clove, medium, pressed * 1/4 c. Yami Yogurt, mango-flavored * 1/2 tsp. Black Pepper, ground * 1 tsp. Marjoram, dried * 1 tsp. Onion Powder * 1 tsp. Garlic Powder * 1/2 tsp. Sage, dried * 1-1/2 TBSP Margarine, room temperature 

1 SM Skillet * Med-size Soup Pot * 1 Vegetable Peeler * 1 Cutting Board * 1 Lrg. Kitchen Knife * Measuring Spoons * 1 Garlic Press * 1 Cooking Spoon, slotted * 1 Colander * 1 Potato Masher * Supper Plates & Silverware

1) In skillet, melt the bacon grease; add onion & bell peppers - cook over medium heat until veggies are softened. Add parsley & pressed garlic. Turn heat off & set aside.


2) Wash and peel the sweet potatoes: cut into uniform pieces, a bit largish - this will result in even cooking and prevent mushiness.

3) To a medium-size soup pot, place the sweet potato chunks - and add enough water to cover them (about 1 inch).

4) Bring the contents of the pot to a boil; then … reduce heat to medium-low, and cook for about 15-20 minutes or until easily pierced with a fork.

5) Drain the sweet potatoes thoroughly (any excess water will make your mash too wet) - but do not let them sit long: and return them to the pot, or large mixing bowl … you want to mash the sweet potatoes while they’re still hot.

6) Next, with a potato masher, mash the sweet potatoes to desired consistency. Add the onion, bell pepper, garlic & parsley; blend thoroughly.

Blend together the pepper, marjoram, onion powder, garlic powder, sage, & butter; sprinkle over the mash. Add yogurt, and stir until blended.

7) Serve & enjoy!

Sunday, August 9, 2026

VAL'S 4PATRIOTS MAC & CHEESE/SPAM STOVETOP CASSEROLE; Castle Rock-WA

Val's 4Patriots Mac & Cheese-Spam Stovetop Casserole

Every once in a while I get a yen for cafeteria food; today was such a Day 😉

We had gone for a short drive - and on the way home, I said, "How about we have macaroni & spam casserole for supper 🍽️ tonight? I didn't thaw anything out - and the casserole will be quick, easy, and just right for tonight's supper fare."

Holland readily agreed ☺️

I made it for him, for the first time - in Ocean Park-WA, last year. This one-pot meal 🍲 was a new taste for Holland … and a new experience for me to make it with a 4Patriots meal packet. But, it turned out well. 

This year's mac & cheese casserole was not as spicy: and the vegetable addition was different, too. We liked it - and I hope you will, too.

NOTE: The thing I do to keep the sauce smooth, is separate the noodles and dry sauce mixture; then I whisk the powder together with the water before I add it to the pot.

Val's 4Patriots Mac & Cheese/Spam Stovetop Casserole ~serves 2

4Patriots Mac & Cheese dry mix, 1/2 pkt. * 2 c Water * 1 10-ounce-can Cream of Mushroom & Garlic Soup * 1 tsp. Margarine * 1/2 sm. Onion, chopped * 1/3 Green Bell Pepper, chopped * 1 c. Spam, diced (half a canned Spam loaf) * 1/4 tsp. Black pepper, ground * 1/4 tsp. Mustard, powder * 1/8 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce * 1-1/2 c. Frozen Green Peas, thawed

1 Med. Cooking Pot * 1 Cutting Board * 1 Lrg. Kitchen Knife * Manual-Pull Food Chopper * 1 Lrg. Cooking Spoon, slotted * 1 Ladle * 1 Lrg. Pyrex Measuring Cup * Measuring Cups & Spoons * 1 Small Whisk * Supper Plates & Silverware

1) Gather, and prepare your ingredients, so the process will flow smoothly:

4Patriots Mac & Cheese dry mix, half pkt.; separate noodles from powder. Crush the dry powder to a fine dust.
Mushroom-Garlic Soup & Spam; Spam halved & cubed.
Onion & Pepper, chopped.
Worcestershire sauce & seasonings; Peas set to thaw.

2) Place margarine in pot and add onion, green pepper: sauté until onions are translucent, & pepper bits are tender.

3) Add soup & meat - blend thoroughly.

4) In the Pyrex Measuring cup, whisk the dry sauce mixture into the water; pour over blended veggies, meat, soup, & macaroni. Stir until mixture is smooth.

5) Add spices, macaroni, & gently stir in peas.

6) Bring mixture to a boil; then lower heat to medium-high and cook until noodles are soft - about 20 minutes … stirring frequently.

7) Turn heat off and let sit for about 5 minutes to allow sauce to thicken up. Serve with a side of buttered bread.

Saturday, August 8, 2026

IN TIMES OF GRIEF; Castle Rock-WA

~Valeria Hargand

6 years ago * Facebook

I, myself did not understand Grief properly … until I went through it myself: no one truly can, until they go through it themselves.

When I first became a Widow, I told everyone I wanted to be left alone for a while. No doubt I hurt people's feelings when I said that, and meant it. But I NEEDED to be alone for a few weeks; I simply could not deal with anyone else at that particular time in my life. The loss of Bob's physical presence in my life was too much for my heart. mind, and soul. I NEEDED solitude. Total solitude - I didn't want my senses overwhelmed. I could not comfort others while I was barely holding myself in check. People who truly know me, KNEW that - those who didn't … didn't; and got their feelings hurt.

In those early weeks, while I walked through the shadows that sometimes obscured my new path in my new life, Safe People and Fellow Grievers came alongside me, to walk with me - the Safe People did not actually say anything to me: they just took my elbows and helped safely guide me through the shadows. I appreciate every one of them! They were SO crucial during those first months of Widowhood. Sometimes they called, said who they were, and just listened to me cry - sometime for quite a long time; they knew that was the only way I could truly heal. They WILL be blessed.

Then there were the Fellow Grievers; the ones who had already walked through the Shadows themselves and knew what I was facing/would be facing; they came alongside me too, and listened. Because I was now walking a path they had already walked, they knew that platitudes, unwanted advice, and Pollyannaism wasn't what I needed from them: they just extended their hand of friendship and let me lead as they walked alongside me. They did offer advice when I asked - but they never crossed that line without my expressed permission to give advice. They encouraged me from the sidelines and cheered for me when I cleared the hurdles: they knew I had to do this on my own … they were very careful to aide me, yet keep a prudent distance - they understood that my baby steps were similar to those of a toddler; hovering and/or stepping in would handicap my progress. So, they just waited for me to ask for their help and/or advice. They knew that if I was asking, I was in the mood to listen. They knew this was the only way I could truly move forward with confidence. They WILL be blessed.

I am thankful for the Safe People & the Fellow Grievers.

**********

Here are five important people you will meet in your grief journey.

THE HYPER-CRITICAL JUDGE

These people compare and evaluate. You’ll recognize their voice easily. “Be strong. Get over it. Pull yourself together. Move on.”

Hyper-critical judges don’t like tears. They pick you apart, bit by bit. They’re discouraging. They can kill your heart. They’re toxic. Avoid them like the plague.

If you must interact with them (family and co-workers, for example), put on your armor first. Don’t give them access to your heart. Quick to point out your faults, they ignore their own. They deal with your issues as a smokescreen to hide theirs.

When the hyper-critical judge shows up, breathe deeply, protect your heart, and let them pass on by.

THE WELL-MEANING RELATIVE, FRIEND, OR CO-WORKER

These folks want to help but don’t know how. Thinking they need to say something, they stammer out platitudes. “At least they’re not suffering anymore.” At least they’re in a better place.” “At least you had them as long as you did.” “At least…”

Chances are your life is well-populated with these well-meaning people. Keep your expectations low. They can’t understand. They’re trying, but they can’t get to where you are.

When they say unhelpful things, release them quickly. If you can, smile and forgive. Relate to them as you want to, but it’s probably wise not to entrust them with the tender parts of your soul right now.

THE FIXER

These people are convinced they know what you should do. They don’t enter your grief with you, but they’re full of ideas on how to fix it. “You need to get out more.” “This works, so you need to do it.” “Go to a support group.” “You need counseling.”

Fixers tell you what to do and then disappear, only to reappear later with more advice you haven’t asked for. They’ll share their self-styled, fix-it-quick wisdom anywhere – restaurants, movie theaters, grocery stores, hospitals, coffee shops, street corners, clothing stores, churches, sporting events, etc. Fixers are everywhere, and they have an answer for everything.

Some fixers have good hearts. Your pain distresses them. They don’t know how to meet you in your grief, so they pull out their magic wand to whisk the pain away. Be merciful and forgiving. There’s some fixer in all of us.

You don’t need fixers at present. If possible, don’t let their darts of advice penetrate too far.

THE SAFE PERSON

Safe people are amazing.

They meet you where you are. They enter your grief and exist with you there, even if it’s only for a few moments. They have no agenda other than supporting you.

They don’t try to fix. They don’t have magic-wand advice. They don’t pretend they didn’t see you in the store. They aren’t terrified by pain and suffering.

Safe people are great listeners. They know that words are overrated. They possess an ability to hear not only your words but your heart. Compassion exudes from them.

How do you find them? Be a safe person yourself. Safe people are magnets for each other.

THE FELLOW GRIEVER

Grief is lonely, but the road of loss is well traveled and densely populated.

Permeated with obstacles, this road winds, curves, climbs, falls, and often doubles-back on itself. Some are quite familiar with this terrain. They have traveled here often and know the emotions, challenges, and frustrations well.

These fellow travelers “get it.” They have allowed grief to cultivate compassion rather than bitterness. Capable of embracing and caring for your heart, they can be treasured companions on this precarious path.

Fellow grievers are around you right now – in support groups, online grief forums, and other venues frequented by those whose worlds have been altered by loss. Already on the grief journey, they can be wonderfully supportive.

PEOPLE WILL MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE

People will have a massive impact on you in times of loss.

Avoid hyper-critical judges who will only add to your pain.

Be aware of friends, relatives, or co-workers who mean well but can’t provide the support you need.

Watch out for fixers who won’t take your grief seriously.

Learn to recognize safe people and fellow grievers who can enter your pain and become hope-giving companions.

PEACE IN THE VALLEY/SHABBAT SHALOM~Self-Care; Castle Rock-WA

This painted picture perfectly [fits]; the air is clearing & breathing is easy, again.

The thick wildfire smoke has thinned, so Holland went into Kelso today - 

The clearest Day we've had in a week; the haze is clearing.

I stayed home & cleaned Independence's surfaces 🧼, and every corner 🧹: it needed it, and him being out-of-house if the only chance I get to do deep cleaning.

The houseplants were watered 🌱; and I spotted another leaf shooting up on the Amaryllis, I bought last November in Coalinga-CA … this will probably be the last watering this plant will get until October, some time. I've never tried to get an Amaryllis to rebloom - so I'm curiously excited about the prospect 🧐🙏😁

Amaryllis leaves' 2nd sprouting, since February; I have high hopes for December blossoms.

I even had time to fit a stretching workout 🧘, in; I had been stretching, bending, & reaching overhead, while cleaning … but I wanted to target specific muscle groups. I also included alternate chair assist exercises to match the worksheet rundown:

At 70 (which I will be, in December), the goal of exercising the body is functional strength and mobility, not maximal strength. Support-assist movements improve balance, leg power, and independence while minimizing joint stress. Heavy sumo squats (like those in strength-level standards for women) are not recommended without medical clearance and proper training Strength Level. Bottom line: For a 70-year-old woman, a safe starting point is 10–15 bodyweight sumo squats x1–2 sets … or 10–15 chair squats, x2–3 times per week, progressing slowly as tolerated. Always prioritize form and stop if you feel pain. Key safety points: Form over weight (1) Keep knees tracking over toes, avoid inward collapse, and maintain a neutral spine Pain is a stop signal: If you feel sharp pain in knees, hips, or back, stop and adjust form or reduce load (2) Progress gradually: Increase reps, sets, or weight slowly to allow muscles and joints to adapt. (3) Listen to your body: If you have knee, hip, or back conditions, consult a healthcare provider before starting or increasing intensity.

10–15 reps EA Exercise x1–2 sets
Alternative: Chair Assist Sumo Squat-Raised Heel~Aim for 10-15 EA side x2
Standing Side Leg Lifts~Aim for 10–15 reps EA side x2
Alternative: Chair-Assist Side Lunge~Aim for 10-15 EA side x2
Alternative: Standing Assist Fire Hydrant~Aim for 10-15 EA side x2
Alternative: Chair-assist Butt Kicks~Aim for 10-15 EA leg x2
Alternative: Standing Chair-Assist Ab Abductions~Aim for 10–15 reps EA side x2

After stretching exercises, I thought I'd work up a new broom-handle-cobweb duster; the one I have is still useful, but it is from my previous life … and in this Life, I want to start fresh.

So, I went online to track down a pattern (my old pattern cache is long gone):

CROCHET BROOM HANDLE COBWEB DUSTER: (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2026/08/crochet-broom-handle-cobweb-duster.html)

And, I finished one novel 📕; and started another 📖 …

New Read; Clive Cussler Novel - love Clive … he's always a good cuddle buddy.

By this time, Holland was pulling in: we caught up on each other's Day 💞, ate a light supper 🥣, and relaxed.

It's been a good Day; there has been peace in the valley.

Shabbat Eve ✡️☝️ ✝️ was ushered in with peace & contentment: I like that 😁