Rod Stewart - 'Have I Told You Lately That I Love You' song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKOkUWjC0JU)
September 6th, 4 years ago, my life was in stall mode.
Activities concerning the house I lived in then, don’t feel the same – things concerning living in that house … don’t feel the same. Easy chores that I once took pleasure in, felt like a chore I couldn’t wait to get through and be done with. For three fourths of my life, I had enjoyed making a home environment for my husband. Now, those things seem pointless. It was hard to work up excitement for solo meals. It was hard to feel accomplished when there is no one else to notice, and give affirmation to the effort that went into the task. Laundry for one short woman … when I was used to long legged jeans and oversized shirts for a man 6’2”, and the occasional “so cute!” children’s clothing for a grandchild now and then … was painfully boring.
Around 2021, I was ready for a serious change in attitude, location, life's purpose: I started praying for a new dwelling that would feel like "home" again; not just an empty, echoing house that no longer suited my living circumstances.
I started asking Elohim for someone to share my life with – a platonic friend, was what I had in mind; I missed walking with someone on my daily hikes. I missed a shared conversation; I missed a man's point of view on topics. I missed cooking for someone who would enjoy my culinary explorations. I missed companiable long drives.
And Elohim heard my petitions with a wide smile, and an agreeable nod of His head.
He was already busily crafting a New Life for me; and against my will … without my knowledge … he was expanding my heart to fit my New Life.
And He was in the process of bringing an old prophecy in someone's Life, to life, in this New Life that was evolving – for two people, praying for "someone to do for".
13 minutes away from each other.
MY SWAN-MAN Blog Post~February 22, 2023:
https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2023/02/my-swan-man.html
When I showed up at Oak Point, and actively got involved in the weekly Sun-Tues-Thursday meets, Holland's heart recognized me right off … it took my heart a full year & half ;-)
In November of 2022, our friendship deepened; by January 2023 we were newlyweds (I learned that my heart was capable of carrying 2 hearts inside it) - and by the end of April 2023, the house I had been trying to sell every Spring since December 2018, finally sold … Holland & I bought a home on wheels, and were on our way to becoming full-fledged Road Gypsies :-)
We drove all the way to West Virginia to purchase our home on wheels; Betsy (truck) & Independence (5th Wheel): (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2023/05/betsy-independencewest-virginia-illinois.html)
Bonnie Raitt - 'Gypsy In Me' song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8T79QmeSEcs)
I had someone in my Life again, and I could engage in a 2-way convo again; with a man's point of view on topics. Daily household tasks weren't rushed through anymore in a rush to escape the suffocating 4 walls – I enjoyed making a home environment for my new husband; Holland likes to cook and he's a very good cook … no more solo lobo meals, for either of us. Smiling praises for jobs well done had us both beaming with happy feelings of accomplishment that went into personal, as well as team work, tasks. I liked finding laundry in my hamper that now included menswear for a 6'4" big bear of a man. I had someone in my life with which to enjoy companiable long drives; and he was willing to take me to far-flung States I'd only heard about, read about, and dreamed about (visited, and lived in, 21 States the first year of our married life).
My Life was on track again; but my activities did not feel the same. My routine was not the same.
I am learning new ways of doing old things … and ways of doing new things I’ve never done before.
My thoughts, and my feelings are not the same – my thoughts are now filled with thoughts for the new man in my life … and though my feelings are just as deep and strong as for my first husband, they are both different men; and they both complete my Life in different ways. There is no comparison. Bob was then. Holland is now.
My life – on all levels since 2018 – has been drastically altered.
My eyes sparkle again.
I had a skip in my step again.
I am laughing again.
I was being loved again: Holland told me that I was special, and I felt special. I basked in that loving attention.
I am in many ways a pampered Wife: my new Husband had waited a long time for me to enter his Life … now that I had literally walked out of his dreams and joined him in the flesh, he likes to spoil me.
There are pros and cons to being pampered.
Holland does like to indulge me with every attention, comfort, and kindness; because of my angina and asthma flareups, he wants to make my life as comfortable as possible.
And I appreciate that characteristic quality about him.
But sometimes the indulgences can be overwhelming. After a couple months of sitting on my hands, having nothing significant to do (other than laundry; and pulling the house down & setting it up again, while on the move), I was getting bored.
Boredom is not a good thing with me. My boredom is not a good thing for US.
Holland is a macho man (a new experience in my life), and I am used to taking care of myself: overprotective care was hamstringing my free spirit. Restricted activity and a limited venue of "to do's" was making me feel weak, and insignificant.
I need to be busy = "to do".
So, while Holland watches TV, or YouTube videos, I started crafting again. My thoughts are busy creating 1-of-a-kind design patterns. My hands are busy working them up.
Holland's cooking is so delicious that we have both added {more than} weight to our bodies – and because Holland loves, loves, loves salt … and his high blood pressure is sky-rocketing; I've claimed the kitchen until things health-wise get back under control (and I will prudently make room for Holland to engage in his relaxing cooking, too; I am, after all, a good wife ;-)). Low calorie & low salt meals will be the daily fare going forward: it feels good to be cooking, again = I can already see us living healthier as thinner versions of ourselves 12 months from now.
Cooking is a relaxing activity for my husband; cooking is a "doing" activity that helps me feel like a wife. There is room in this cozy home activity that can satisfy both of us. When we are both active "doing" this cozy home activity ;-)
And we are both going to actively work towards a more peaceful environment in our home; I need less chaotic activity in order for my life to function smoothly – and Holland is curious. He hasn't ever experienced a peaceful home environment, and he doesn't think it's possible. But it is, and he will find that once a peaceful environment is acted on … his blood pressure will settle down, too.
Living together for the past 20 months, we aren't strangers to each other anymore; there needn't be any more butting of heads.
Kenny Loggins - 'Meet Me halfway' lyrics:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFF3k_mHuNk)