SOMETIMES - THE WORDS~Self-Care; Castle Rock-WA

I saw this post accompanying this picture, as I was visiting a FB Friend - and it resonated with me; so, I am sharing it. It may be helpful to someone …

{{Here is a complicated grief/trauma post:

Why do you post things like this on Facebook? Why not talk to a counselor? A friend? Family? Write it in a journal?

Sometimes I do.

But grief and trauma are complicated.

Sometimes sharing a piece of my story helps me process it. Sometimes I have a thought that I hope might help someone else feel a little less alone. And sometimes… I simply have something I need to say.

I don’t always want a conversation about it. I don’t want questions. I don’t need someone to fix it or even feel obligated to respond.

I simply don't want the personal interaction.

That may sound harsh. But it's not. Just real. 

Sometimes I just want to put the words somewhere outside of myself.

We all want to be heard—in our own way, in our own time.

And I think it’s okay to find a healthy way that works for you 🤍

#lifelovehygge}}

************************

My personal feelings are: don't let anyone tell you how to feel - or when to feel - what you are going through. They can always scroll instead of commenting: the angst is theirs … not yours. Grief does not run on a time schedule. IT just IS. And no one else has to understand it running it's course. My 1st husband has now lived above the clouds for 8 years, & I am remarried for nearly 4; sometimes grief is still triggered & my new man "gets" that. I just ignore everyone else's opinions. Stay strong & surround yourself in the love that still lingers - and the new love that is unfolding & expanding.

This time of year is still hard for me. I am thankful Holland is in my Life - his love literally breathed life back into my limping spirit. And he has made room for Bob's presence in his life, too - he has never begrudged the lingering love my heart still holds softly for Bob. I appreciate that side of my new husband. He truly is a Godsend & blessing. Even with his rough edges, he is perfect for me. Elohim did good in the gifting.

AUTUMN DREAMS: Coalinga-CA

October 1st: October has arrived. It’s time for pumpkin spice everything 🎃☕️😘; a time to cozy up - and be strategic in going after your dreams and goals with a new perspective.

Today while drinking my pumpkin spice coffee, I made a couple lid knob hot hats:

I designed and worked up 2 Lid Knob Hot Hats~MOD; Coalinga-CA

MOD LID KNOB HOT HATS; Coalinga-CA:  (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/10/mod-lid-knob-hot-hats-coalinga-ca.html)

And I thought on Scripture to help me work through issues I'm going to be tackling to restore balance and joy.

My dreams and goals are still the same: I want to explore every mainland State. There's got to be a way to accomplish that, that will accommodate our faulty lungs & shoestring budget. New perspectives are being considered.

As I mentioned in previous posts, we are also working on ourselves.

Independently.

Focused.

With intent.

Tonight, while pulling this post together, I got to thinking about how we really didn't know each other at all before we got married and hit the road. I said to Holland, "You really didn't know much about me when we met - all you knew was what you saw on the surface: you saw a fun loving, carefree spirit. Someone who laughed a lot, and wore flashy clothes and sparkly makeup: someone who was evolving, and learning to embrace Life just for the sheer fun of it. You were unaware that making, keeping, and maintaining friendships was something entirely new to me - I was walking a tightrope of needing people in my life, and wanting to maintain a distance from people in general. You didn't know I carried a lot of unseen baggage that hamstrung me on occasion. That I struggled with severe trauma fallout that I had to rise above every minute of every day. You didn't understand the seriousness of my physical limitations. You didn't know that I was enjoying the freedom of simply feeling worthy of taking up space on Earth. For the first time in my Life, I wasn't responsible for anyone but myself. And I didn't know anything about you, either. I only knew you to be a shy guy, who felt most comfortable hanging out in the corner of a room instead of being front and center. You seemed to be a gentle giant with a kind demeanor - soft spoken, considerate, and in MPO entirely too accommodating with unscrupulous people who unashamedly took full advantage of you. You would read a room like I do. You appeared to be a Christian, who seemed to know the Scriptures. I didn't know that you carried unseen baggage that hamstrung you on occasion. I wasn't aware that you struggled with trauma fallout - or that you were dealing with severe physical handicaps that would feed off of your trauma fallout … or that trauma fallout could suddenly be triggered by a word or an action. I didn't know any of that because I wasn't paying that much attention: I was not interested in romance, and I don't get too close to anyone I am not romantically involved with: even with close friendships, people I've known all my life - I'm not, as a general rule, in steady contact with them: we only saw in each other what both of us allowed anyone to see of us. We only knew of each other what we were experiencing in the moment. I'm not saying we were dishonest; I'm just saying that neither of us really knew each other like we thought we did. And because we didn't know - and we are both pretty mum, still, about our personal lives, things are said and done that bring out the worst in us: the worst because our traumas are triggered and we don't know how to communicate those uncomfortable feelings to each other. You don't want to know, or to understand what I am dealing with - and you don't let me close enough to you to help you though your trauma issues. So, I'm working on myself this year because I don't like the person I've become with all the trauma drama that has been stirred up. I need to be in a happy frame of mind, for me, again."

And that's where I am mentally & spiritually, in the moment.

And I'll be working on myself alone - and with Yeshua, of course, but relationship-wise, I will be alone as I work through the tangled mess that has become my new life.

Only my first husband Bob, ever knew what I struggled to overcome every day. Even my kids and grandkids don't know my whole life story - mostly because they've never been interested enough in me as a person, to care … or celebrate small victories; they more interested in keeping their distances & nursing their assumptions, and I just let them. You can't talk butterfly language to caterpillar people.

Bob understood Butterfly Language; and he encouraged me to share my life story with him, so he could understand the scars and stand beside me in the heat of the battles I fought my way through to remain healthy, whole, and emotionally balanced. Bob loved me unconditionally.

I know my current husband loves me. But I know, too, that his affection towards me - like my kids & grandkids, is conditional. My new husband isn't interested in the deep secrets of my whole life story; I have tried, on numerous occasions, to clue him in on the [why's] of certain situations, but he either stops the conversations and reroutes it to a totally different topic - or he just shuts all communication down completely, and ices me out for a few days. He's never been interested enough to care … or understand small victories from my point of view. He's more interested in nursing assumptions; so, I've stopped trying to share concerns and milestones with him. You can't talk butterfly language to caterpillar people.

I also know that my current husband doesn't know how to deal with feelings of love that goes beyond superficial; I know he struggles with joyous happiness.

I understand that he's not ready to evolve yet: the caterpillar stage is a comfortable place for him to be, right now - it is a slow-mo mode that doesn't require a growth change. It's familiar. Everyone he knows in the life he lived before me, is caterpillar people.

So, I will bare my soul to Elohim, share my Life with Yeshua, bask in the comfort of the Ruach HaKo'desh - and keep making a cozy home environment inspired by 2022's Autumn dreams, while we work on ourselves & nurture the spark of love that still exists this Autumn of 2025.

Air Supply - 'Making Love Out Of Nothing At All' Video Lyrics: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdRVD0OJg3c)

We both have hopes & dreams, and sometimes they do meld.

As the Day faded into evening, I caught sight of a pretty Autumn sunset as the sun slipped over the horizon beyond the almond orchard out back of this Park:

Tonight's sunset; Coalinga-CA

The beauty of Autumn reminds us that there is a certain freedom to letting go and trusting this new season.

WAFT & WEFT; Coalinga-CA

September 15th: Rebuilding lives, and planting roots, takes many forms and ongoing paths.

Year 7 & year 2-1/2, in that order; and I’m cashing in on the fact that life is short and there is 0 reason to not try to make the most of it … to do the things I enjoy - and not wait, if it’s at all possible. For the most part, I’m trying to live that sentiment out; as the celestial shuttlecock moves rapidly & steadily through the fabric of my Life.

I am thankful & appreciative of how Elohim has taken my broken life and reworked the fabric of it with new threads that hold just as much love, color, and promise to complete the story of His Plan for my Life.

This life - in the Now.

With all of its love.

All of its grief.

All of its breath.

With all of the opportunities I have had … and still have.

This is not the Life I wanted; or saw coming down the Pike.

And yet, it is precious & filled with beautiful moments; moments made possible by the new man in my life - the man, who the other day, startled himself when he replied to a stranger's question with the remark, "We're new here too - we're tourists." On the way back to Betsy, he smiled a big smile with the realization that he's learning to relax and enjoy himself in ways he's never done before, saying, "I never thought I'd ever use the word 'tourist' in describing myself. But I am - and I did. And you know what? It feels good not to have to rush from one place to another." I squeezed his hand and smiled back. His waft is relaxing and allowing the weft to take shape in this new blended life that has struggled in it's becoming.

Daily, Life's Loom is busily working the shuttlecock: working and reworking His design into the fabric of our blended lives - creating the tapestry that is The Story Of Us.

How To Weave On A Traditional Loom: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLAUqpEi3kA)

This is how I see my Life unfolding. Elohim has already designed it, Yeshua is working the loom, and the Ruach HaKo'desh is the shuttlecock. My Life is a constant work in progress that will feel the push, shove, and paced fabric-building … until I take my last breath: I just live out the raw vertical warp (foundational threads of life = our core values, mission, and belief; warp threads have greater tension and strength, making them more stable) & the colorful fleshing-out horizontal weft (discovered elements = our experiences, choices, and learnings that shape our life's journey), as my Life Story is being built.

Right here, right now, in this moment, life is good.

I am blessed: truly.

Where my past life 5 years ago, was by and large barren of family connections following Bob's physical death … this new life, forged 2-1/2 years ago, is filling my life with new family connections (and so far they have all been good experiences coming from the Harris branch of Holland's family tree): though I have always been a gypsy, raised military and moving from pillar to post until I married my 1st husband and settled in one place for 18 years - and my new husband is indulging my 'wild at heart' recurring gypsy whims, he is also giving me roots; as he promised with his hand of friendship 3 years ago.

However, being a road gypsy was not something he would have done as a bachelor: he'd already done a lifetime of road travel and was ready to prop his feet up and settle down. Being a Road Gypsy is my dream life - he's gamely indulging me 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨; and I am thankful and appreciative. I couldn't have asked for a better traveling companion. But Elohim knew, and He provided. And I honestly do believe that Holland is relaxing enough now to enjoy our State hops: job pressures are off his shoulders, and retirement relaxation can be entered into 100% 😉

While a stationary home provides a physical anchor … roots are built through shared memories, traditions, and resilience, which are portable and can be created & enjoyed anywhere. Many road gypsies living a mobile lifestyle have found ways to cultivate a strong sense of family identity and belonging by either (1) forging strong friendships along their travels (2) traveling in a family or friend caravan (3) hooking up with relatives along their road gypsy route: this is Holland's preferred connection.

The Harris connection is a good & stable connection ❤️

His cousin Bruce Harris, will be coming to this part of CA sometime following Thanksgiving this year, & they plan to hook up and catch up on each other's lives since they were last together; he sounds like a fun fella. I'm glad for both of them that this year, the meet-up will actually happen.

Bruce has a bee business - and I managed to find a couple of online links about that:

{{Bad Year For Bees~Pollinator Populations Plummet

By BY EMERY COWAN, 2013

Bruce Harris is already expecting that at least a third of the 1,000 beehives he is hauling back from the almond groves of California's San Joaquin Valley won't survive until next year.

The Montezuma County beekeeper will soon begin dividing his 400 strongest hives to create enough new bee colonies to account for the losses he anticipates.

Farther east in La Plata County, first-year beekeeper Paula Nelson also has already seen losses when one of her two hives died late last fall.

"They never really flourished," Nelson said.

From commercial operations to hobbyists with only a few hives, beekeepers in southwest Colorado have not been immune to the bee die-offs sweeping the nation. And while losses have held steady at about 30 percent over the past several years, this year is looking worse.

The United States Department of Agriculture has yet to release its annual report about wintertime bee losses, but anecdotal information indicates losses are greater than last year, said Kim Kaplan, spokesperson with the USDA Agricultural Research Service.

"Anecdotally, and couched with all may's and might be's in world, we are seeing reports of very high losses over this past winter, higher than last winter," Kaplan said.

LOSSES DON'T DISCRIMINATE

Tina Sebestyen, founder of the Four Corners Beekeepers Association, said local beekeepers are reporting heavier losses than in years past.

"Losses that hobbyists experienced this winter seem different than usual," she said. "It really hasn't struck our beekeepers like this before."

Brad Milligin, a second generation beekeeper in the Lewis Arriola area and one of the biggest commercial beekeepers in the area, said he also has seen his bee losses climb a little bit this winter.

Harris said this year fell somewhere between poor and mediocre. Colonies within his hives were smaller, they weren't brooding as actively and they seemed less energetic when they were let out of the hives.

In general, losses were "a heck of a lot higher than normal," he said. "It must have something to do with last summer or last fall."

COLONY COLLAPSE

According to the USDA's 2012 report, about a third of winter colony losses are attributed to colony collapse disorder, which causes bees to mysteriously leave the hive, leaving the queen bee and honey inside. The definite cause continues to leave beekeepers stumped, although recent research is turning focus to a relatively new class of pesticides known as neonicotinoids as a potential contributor. The insecticides, which are absorbed and incorporated into plants, were first introduced into the market in 1991.

Last month a group of beekeepers, environmental and consumer groups sued the Environmental Protection Agency to suspend the use of two types of neonicotinoids. The chemicals make plants potentially toxic to insects, the groups said.

Factors like poor nutrition, pathogens, mites and cold weather are also a part of the bee die-off picture and could play a role in colony collapse disorder, Kaplan said. It's hard to say for sure though because these factors are known to cause wintertime dwindling - another malady affecting bees that causes more gradual die-offs within the hive rather than the sudden evacuation that defines colony collapse, Kaplan said.

Confusion about what differentiates colony collapse disorder from over-winter die-offs leads to "all sorts of misdiagnosis," said Bob Hammon, an entomology and agronomy extension agent with the Tri-River Area office near Grand Junction.

"People see it so much in the news that they automatically think colony collapse," Hammon said. "But the reality of situation is there are a lot of different things that can happen to beehives."

Milligin and Harris have seen everything from smaller colonies and weaker bees to hives that were completely deserted with honey still inside.

Both said they can only guess that a combination of factors - diseases, parasites, viruses, climate change - is causing bee populations to dwindle.

"We have pushed bees to the edge of what their little immune systems can handle," Milligin said.

Don Arnold, a Montrose beekeeper, is much more confident that pesticide spraying is killing the nation's honeybees. Officials in Emery County, Utah, where Arnold kept his bees, sprayed for mosquitoes in the summer of 2011. Within days, 278 of his 300 bee colonies were dead, Arnold said.

The threat posed by chemical spraying has discouraged him from trying to start anew, he said.

"It's a waste of time in the future to keep bees because the (pesticides and fungicides) are killing them faster than we can make them," he said.

BEE DIE-OFFS RIPPLE OUTWARD

Whatever the cause, the die-off is hurting beekeepers' profit margins, Milligin said. The price for transportation fuel, medicine and extra food, combined with a lower survival rate means the "price per hive has increased dramatically in the last several years," he said.

Honeybees do play a significant role in the nation's food supply, helping pollinate an estimated 25 percent of crops in the American diet. But many of Colorado's crops, and especially those in Southwest Colorado, don't require bees to reproduce.

Alfalfa, dry beans, grass hay and wheat are self-pollinated or are primarily pollinated by bees other than honeybees, Hammon said.

Almonds are a different story, depending entirely on honeybees for pollination. The continued growth of the multi-billion dollar industry guarantees a future for beekeepers nationwide. Whether or not commercial pesticide spraying impacts bee health, it's not likely that commercial beekeepers will soon halt their annual migration west. Revenue from pollination is a crucial, steady source of income as opposed to the variations honey production can bring, Harris said.

He estimated 75 percent of his income comes from renting his bees for pollination.

"As far as I'm concerned, pollinating almonds is only thing keeping the whole bee industry afloat," he said.

In a future with so many changing factors, one thing is for sure, he said.

"It's going to be survival of the fittest."}}

The Honey House Harris Bee's part 1: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSKA_0m2Ns8)

The Honey House Harris Bee's Cortez Colorado: 

 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yp2M81dxFa0)

Bruce's Honey House Cortez Colorado: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3rkcvjSueg)

We are hoping to get to Florida this year, following Bruce's visit: bad weather and health concerns hampered us the past 2 years - but we think we can do it this year. God willing 🙏 🤞; Neither of us have been there, so it's an exciting anticipation we are praying about, and hoping unfolds happily with the celestial shuttlecock's activity.

Brownsville-TX from Coalinga-CA; 27 hr (1,829.0 mi)

As well as counting my many blessings, and daydreaming about sandy beaches & flamboyant flamingoes … I also did a full body workout of running back & forth, stretching & bending:  the approximate average calorie count of typical housecleaning activities was engaged all of today: Moderate housecleaning (laundry loads, mopping and sweeping, vacuuming): 150-200 calories per hour, & stripping and remaking beds for 30 minutes torches 187 calories if you weigh 125 pounds and a whopping 300 calories if you weigh 200 pounds; cooking (prep & cleanup, included): 30 minutes of basic cooking burns between 244 to 384 calories: I figure I burned 1,882 calories by day's end - which allotted me grace for my calorie-laden supper 😉

 Country style pork rib supper; my own spur-of-the-moment recipe.

VAL'S JUICY CROCKPOT COUNTRY STYLE RIB SUPPER: Coalinga-CA:

 (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/09/vals-juicy-crockpot-country-style-rib.html)

Burning calories - 1 load at a time.

STAY STRONG~Shavua Tov 2025; Coalinga-CA

Oh 😔

The first thing that came up on my laptop news feed this morning was another death notice:

Mark Volman, The Turtles Co-Founder & ‘Happy Together’ Singer, Dies at 78: 

https://www.mensjournal.com/entertainment/mark-volman-the-turtles-co-founder-happy-together-singer-dies-at-78

Mark was a clown - it wasn't surprising that he also was part of Frank Zappa's band members: Frank was decidedly weird, also.

Before there was the comic duo, Cheech & Chong … there was Flo & Eddie, who were the vaudeville pop rock comedians.

R.I.P. Mark; your antics kept us laughing, and your music kept us young.

The Turtles "Happy Together" on The Ed Sullivan Show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3x56WQlG_0&list=RDh3x56WQlG_0&start_radio=1

The Turtles - You Baby: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEmRgvhT6fE&list=RDIEmRgvhT6fE&start_radio=1

The Turtles parody themselves, 1968, nobody notices: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhsmcL8Y57w

Flo & Eddie - You Showed Me / The Kung Fu Killer - 10/29/1975 - Capitol Theatre: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoGbETzTCVY&list=RDMoGbETzTCVY&start_radio=1

Flo & Eddie - Cheap - live - 1978.avi: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsFjAv2XF3E&list=RDfsFjAv2XF3E&start_radio=1

Zappa And The Mothers "200 Motels" - Mystery Roach / Magic Fingers (Bizu Mix): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAqaSXrykdc&list=RDqAqaSXrykdc&start_radio=1

Flo and Eddie - Alice Cooper Joni Mitchell Yoko Ono Jimmy Page: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADufHrMVXzk&list=RDADufHrMVXzk&start_radio=1

Mark Volman (The Turtles, Flo & Eddie) Interview (2000): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ie_HCZ4-4eU

After listening to a couple songs while finishing up my coffee … I got busy with self-care; today I stretched. That's it. But it's just as effective - and just as important 😊👌

As we age, the spine undergoes degenerative changes that can lead to conditions like osteoarthritis, degenerative disc disease, and spinal stenosis. Regular stretching helps maintain spinal health by preserving flexibility, promoting proper alignment, and reducing the risk of degenerative changes.

Symptoms of Spinal Stenosis: 

 https://spinehealth.org/article/neck-pain-spinal-senosis/

Muscle imbalances (when certain muscles are stronger or tighter than others) can contribute to spinal degeneration because they place uneven stress on the spine. Stretching targets both tight and weak muscles, helping to restore balance to your body and its structures. It also minimizes the wear and tear by countering the compressive forces on the spine and can help reduce the risk of conditions like disc herniation and spinal stenosis.

Here are 6 easy stretches that are shown to help alleviate and prevent back and neck pain. Incorporating these into your daily routine - especially if you sit for a lengthy time -  may be helpful to eliminating and preventing pain, while allowing for greater range of motion and mobility so you can live your life on your terms.

Hold stretches for about 15-30 seconds to allow muscles to lengthen.

Regular stretching can improve flexibility, which is key for proper muscle support and reducing injury risk. Gentle stretches can help correct muscle imbalances and improve your posture, a common cause of back pain.

As the primary hip flexor, the psoas connects the lower back to the legs. Prolonged sitting can shorten and weaken it, leading to pain because it pulls on the spine.

The paraspinal muscles are a group of deep muscles that run vertically along both sides of your spinal column, from the base of the skull to the hips. Also known as the erector spinae group and other smaller muscles, they are essential for maintaining posture, stabilizing the spine, and facilitating movements like bending, twisting, and arching your back.

Paraspinal Muscles - the muscles next to the spine. They support the spine and are the motor for movement of the spine.

Stretching exercises engage a variety of back muscles, including the latissimus dorsi (lats), trapezius (traps), rhomboids, erector spinae, and quadratus lumborum (QL), which are located in the upper, mid, and lower back regions. Stretches like the supine twist target the lower back and glutes, while QL stretches (side bending and rotation of the torso to target the deep quadratus lumborum muscle, which runs from the pelvis to the lower ribs) focus on the lower back muscles on the sides of the spine.

Listen to your body: Stay within a pain-free range of motion.

9 Stretches to Help Relieve a Tight Lower Back:

https://www.healthline.com/health/lower-back-pain-relief#hip-circles

Holland whipped up some of his healthy smoothie concoctions that are helping him with inflammatory pain - and I saved the lemon, orange, and lime peels to dry and use for cooking, baking, and medicinal purposes 😉 

Grated lemon peel, & orange peel; sliced Lime peel; drying for storage.

In this heat, the peels are drying very quickly:

Lemon peel packs a high amount of fiber and vitamin C, providing 9% of the daily value, in only 1 tablespoon fresh peel (or 1 teaspoon of dried). Additionally, it boasts small amounts of calcium, potassium, and magnesium.

D-limonene, a compound from citrus peels, has potential health benefits including supporting digestion, acting as an antioxidant and anti-inflammatory agent, and potentially aiding in mood enhancement and liver detoxification; and help with indigestion, acid reflux, and bloating. It can also neutralize gastric acid. D-limonene may help lower blood sugar levels, slow weight gain, and improve insulin resistance. D-limonene may act as a natural antiviral and antibacterial agent, supporting the immune system. Early research indicates that d-limonene might reduce triglycerides, lower blood sugar, and help increase "good" cholesterol levels, all signs of improved heart health. Lemon peel can also boost bone health due to its calcium content.

You can boost your lemon peel intake in a variety of ways, such as: adding gated lemon zest to baked goods, salads, or yogurt; sprinkling it on soups, drinks, dressings, and marinades.

You can also cut peels into strips and dehydrate them at 200°F (93°C); then adding them to tea.

Orange peel offers a variety of health and wellness benefits, including: rich in vitamin C, an antioxidant that supports immune function and skin health; Vitamin C in orange peels also helps boost collagen production, reducing wrinkles and improving skin elasticity. Vitamin C supports healthy blood vessel function. Orange peel promote the growth of beneficial gut bacteria, which can help reduce inflammation and improve digestion. The antioxidants in orange peels may help reduce oxidative stress and inflammation, lowering the risk of heart disease. Orange peel also contains good amounts of provitamin A, folate, riboflavin, thiamine, vitamin B6, and calcium.

Orange peels help increase your metabolism and burn fat from your body. Many medical experts recommend orange peels as a cure for weight loss.

Orange peels can help fight cavities and keep your breath fresh.

Orange peels are rich in vitamin C and A. This makes orange peels a natural antioxidant that helps boost your immune system and fight off germs and viruses.

Orange peels also help remove phlegm, and helps alleviate asthma inflammation.

Also, nearly 90% of the essential oils in orange peels are composed of limonene, a naturally occurring chemical that has been studied for its anti-inflammatory and anticancer properties, including against skin cancer

Just 1 tablespoon of fresh orange peel (or 1 teaspoon of dried, grated orange peel) provides 14% of the Daily Value of vitamin C — nearly 3 times more than the inner fruit. The same serving also packs about 4 times more fiber

Lime peel contains various nutrients and bioactive compounds that provide several health benefits, including: the fiber content in lime peel promotes regular bowel movements and supports gut health. The flavonoids and essential oils in lime peel have anti-inflammatory effects, which may help reduce pain and swelling. Studies suggest that lime peel may improve cognitive function and memory. Some studies suggest that lime peel may help prevent kidney stones by increasing citrate levels in the urine. Lime peel contains pectin fiber, which can help support heart health

Other uses for lime peel, is that it can be used as a flavoring agent in various dishes; such as desserts, drinks, and marinades. It can be ground into a powder and used as a spice or garnish. 

Use a small amount daily = consider the fresh peel of half a lime (or 1 teaspoon of dried) as a general guideline. If you have a history of acid reflux or other gastrointestinal issues, pay attention to how your body reacts and adjust your intake accordingly.

Tomorrow morning, we'll be up early and on the road to Hanford-CA to visit with Holland's Harris relatives - these people I like. They are the total opposite of the redmill relatives. The Harris branch of his Family Tree love my husband. They have always been welcoming to my husband. For that reason alone, they get a passing grade from me. But, they are also very nice, and very friendly people. And they have welcomed me warmly. I like being around them; I like spending time with them.

Finishing laundry tonight, I smiled as I hung the hanging clothing to dry - I smiled because when I asked Elohim 🙏 for a traveling companion so I could indulge my gypsy bone desire to see all of America … I never dreamed of the added blessing 💘 that He would send into my Life. I never even entertained the thought of remarriage; I figured that at 66, romance was a thing of the past and I would live out the remaining years if my Life solo lobo, warmed by memories of a love that exited my Life in the winter of 2018 with Bob's physical death.

It never occurred to me that someone was waiting for me to show up and fulfil a 35 year old vision-promise 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 I wasn't aware of how my Life would be changed with a chance meeting.

But Elohim knew 💕

A direct answer to prayer - with a bonus blessing I never expected.

Holland is exactly what I need. And he tells me that I am what he needs, too. Except for his TBI & PTSD that triggers my own PTSD dustups that are stirred every now and then, we are a perfect match.

My childhood abandonment issue traumas are not his fault. It's not his fault that Bob no longer walks this earth. It's not his fault that my children abandoned me following Bob's exit. It's not his fault that I had to resurrect anger to deal with widowhood adjustments. It's not his fault that I constantly feel like I am walking a tightrope with a risky balance.

Holland, also, is dealing with his own trauma issues that have nothing to do with me: sibling rivalry that resulted in severe head trauma, childhood abandonment issue traumas, sibling deaths - the most recent one, a month ago; none of these emotional battles are my fault, even though I feel the brunt of them when the black mood comes on him.

We both know these facts.

We both understand each other's struggles.

We are - in our own ways, working on handling the stressors better. There will be fireworks … but by relying on Yeshua's healing 🕊️, and leaning heavily on Elohim's grace to make polished diamonds from lumps of rough & gritty coal, our marriage does not need to go up in flames 😘

That said, while we are set up here in Coalinga-CA, we have decisions to make.

Holland has his hands full, juggling obligations - trying to stay present in all circumstances. Trying to look ahead and gauge the risks of moving in either direction. Trying to figure out what works best … and what will keep US safe on every level, in every situation.

I am learning to relax and let a man take up the slack - this is something I've never done before. I'm trying to stay focused in the now - not ignoring future infringements, but not wigging out about any of it, either. Holland is picking up, and running with, the heavy stuff: I'm doing my best to stay in [wife lane] & shore up support, honor his decisions, and stay true to bending to Elohim's Will in all of it.

I am learning to trust a man 100% - because the situation requires it.

Holland is learning to trust a woman (he's never done this before); and he is learning to trust Elohim 100% - because both situations require it.

TILLAMOOK-OR (Pt. 2)/Shabbat~Self-Care

August 29th: Leaves are turning.

So are the wheels of Life unfolding.

Trying new things while remembering past things is okay.

And we need to DO new things in the Present – we can’t keep living in the Past.

Holland's entire Life has been lived jockeying between relatives (homes, jobs, visitations) - and dwelling on Past experiences (musing about those experiences at home; or rehashing them over Kelso kitchen table coffee chats). Courting, dwelling, & focusing 95% of attention to the Past, is not healthy; that activity actually stymies growth & throws shade over outlook on life in general. MPO

I do touch base with relatives and friends … but I live my Life in the Now. I do, on occasion, revisit memories, but on the whole - I incorporate new experiences, new people, and making new memories into my Life. I balance my Life with keeping the Past & the Present in their own lanes, to make room for the Future (though that is flexible because a future is never guaranteed).

And  sometimes … the Past crowds the present without our permission.

Like Last night: a bad memory tripped by Scott's death (and all the dramatizing fallout) was interfering with my sleep. I was debating getting up and drinking some cocoa in hopes of enticing the Sandman - when tears came unbidden. Unwelcome. They do not belong in my New Life. My New Life has enough hurdles to jump, without juggling painful & heart-wrenching old memories I thought had been laid to rest. Holland shifted, and asked, "Are you okay, Baby?" I sniffled and said, "Yeah. Just a bad memory." He reached an arm over and pulled me to him. He didn't ask. I didn't reveal. His shoulder got soaked; and in that moment … he was the gentle, empathetic friend, my heart fell in love with.

He really is a good, kind man, when he's not fighting against the tender side of himself.

Juice Newton - 'The Sweetest Thing' Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EScsvMU-wmY&list=RDEScsvMU-wmY&start_radio=1)

When we woke up this morning, we drank our morning coffees, then hopped into Betsy to do some backtracking explorations. We didn't have time - nor were there big enough spaces along the route to pull over, when we drove the coastline to Tillamook yesterday; so, today, we set out to explore the places we couldn't explore yesterday when Betsy was tethered to Independence … and Holland focused on the Present with an eye towards the Future.

I was thankful the Past was getting a rest: from both of us.

Today's Plan …

We drove first into Tillamook - there were several things we wanted to visit. Straight off, we drove to the Tillamook Air Museum … and it was too massive to fit the picture taking frame, so Holland drove down a side road - and I snagged a few pictures from the paved roadway, there.

Tillamook Air Museum-OR

Holland tells me these pillars are 'Blimp Supports' to cradle the flying behemoth when it's parked here.

A few  minutes later, as we passed through downtown Tillamook; Holland obliged me by turning off onto a backstreet to check out 2 buildings that caught my attention.

The steeple of this building caught my eye as we drove by.

Community Church; Tillamook-OR

Then, we drove to the Tillamook Cheese Factory … but that was quickly scrapped when Holland said he doubted he could walk the walk even with the cane (the building is huge, and we'd have to park a half a mile away, in the designated parking lot); he'd sit in Betsy and wait for me. I said I wouldn't want to do it without him. It was a nice thought, but I really wasn't that interested (my body is lactose intolerant & I'm pretty sure the restaurant there would be filled with cheesy, creamy, milk-based foods: it's a dairy operation, after all; they will be selling their product), and I'd be perfectly happy with drive by adventures that we could experience together - things off the tourist radar. I'm kinda weird that way. Normal touristy draws do not interest me - I would much rather scout out low-key things that pique my real curiosity.

So, that's what we did 😊👌

Along the way I saw an A-frame house, and commented on it - which led to me learning more about my husband 👍 Holland said, "That A-frame in Lexington-WA … my grandpa and father built that." I said, "No way!" He said, "Yeah. Way. In fact my family built all the houses in that tract of housing." I said, "Wow. I've hiked past that A-frame for decades, when I walked the dike behind it. Bob and I knew the people that bought that A-frame. Wow." It's freaky when I think of all the times Holland's, and my, paths have crossed … and it is confusing to me, thinking that now - since out paths have converged and formed a straight line, it's a real struggle to keep this marriage on an even keel 💕😳🙏

But it was fun to listen to him talk about those days of his early life in Cowlitz County-WA … the community growth; the river life back then, compared to now; the dike that wasn't there before Mt. St. Helen's blew her top; the Allen Street Draw-bridge we both remembered crossing, before it was replaced; the little Lexington church we both attended - and did not notice each other (we were both married to our 1st spouses, then); the houses we both lived in, on Nevada Drive, literally a block from each other - and did not notice one another; ect. It was an interesting conversation.

I was also noticing that most of the buildings was highlighting a patchwork quilt design, on them - and then I noticed a sign mentioning a local quilting & textile center: then, the blocks of quilt patterns decorating various buildings, made sense 👌

Latimier Quilting & Textile Center; Tillamook-OR: https://www.orartswatch.org/latimer-quilt-textile-center-a-little-known-hive-of-fiber-arts-activity-near-tillamook/

And, on our return drive back towards the RV Park, Holland & I simultaneously noticed that what was previously thought to be a train trestle bridge cover … was instead, a breezeway over the highway, by which people could access the beach on one side - and housing complexes on the other.

An over-road-breezeway; Tillamook-OR

When Holland was explaining it to me, it made sense: I never would have considered that reasoning. But he did, because he was born in a beach-theme town, lived-worked-& generally fooled around in beach-themed towns; he knew what it was used for. That thing has had me stumped, and AI is clueless, but the way Holland explained it to me makes sense.

Then we stopped at a Taco Wagon in Rockaway Beach-OR, and bought a tasty lunch combo. So good! The short-grain-rice tasted like Basmati Rice, but I know Basmati Rice (it's my favorite cooking rice), and this rice wasn't Basmati. The food was wonderful and the people serving it was friendly & courteous. I even thought the price was okay - this was definitely worth stopping for. We highly recommend this Taco Wagon 👍

While waiting for our food order, a stranger struck up a convo with me - and Holland realized that I don't "hate everyone!": I'm actually quite chatty and relaxed 😉 when I feel [safe] around certain people; even strange men who send off calm and peaceful vibes ✌️ Holland was amazed to see the [old] me in a social situation 😊

Lunch break; Rockaway Beach-OR.Rockaway Beach-OR:  (https://tillamookcoast.com/where-to-go/rockaway-beach/)

SO good! The enchilada's were solidly stuffed with pulled beef & the rice was deliciously flavored & scented.

I could be that relaxed and talkative around his family and friends too, if they would behave. But they don't - so, I'm not. Ditto for my husband, too: if he would relax in this married relationship, he'd find me more relaxed, too.

And the Past memories that squeeze my heart & bring tears to my eyes wouldn't be triggered, either. They only encroach on my New Life when chaotic turmoil is dragged into it - and all those painful memories that ride the turbulent winds of uncertainty, spring with a vengeance 😔💔😪

Anyway.

We spotted another old steam engine … so, we turned down the driveway to to check it out:

Steam Engine #90 is a historic 90-ton steam locomotive in Tillamook, Oregon, undergoing restoration by the Oregon Coast Scenic Railroad (OCSR). Engine #90 was originally built for the Polson Logging Company. After Polson was purchased by Rayonier Inc. in 1948, the locomotive was also operated by Rayonier.

Back on the main highway, Holland said we'll drive down to Newport-OR, then cut over Hwy #20 (the longest highway in the USA) to I-5 in Corvallis-OR, then to Eugene-OR where if here is no wildfire smoke in the air, we can hunker down overnight; before driving on to Coalinga-CA where a spot has been secured to park Independence through November - Holland's Colorado cousin will be in that region with is bees, and we are hoping for a hook-up then. Where we end up after that, is in Elohim's hands; we're running out of options with warm climate States.

Holland just informed me that we will be pulling stakes here, tomorrow …

Back home, I walked around the Park - enjoying self time with the Almighty. Opening my senses to Yeshua's creation (this is a country lot Park; there are trees, lots of grassy areas, a river along the back end). Occasionally meeting new people - striking up a short convo, or nodding in passing (2 people were walking dogs - hello's were exchanged in passing's); and found that the Park walk was smaller than anticipated. I thought a mile walk … it was 'just' under half a mile.

A couple cabins for rent …

Bob & I knew the Ferrell heir, in Raymond-WA. We met him in Fellowship, there.

The Park waterwheel feature.

This is a mobile home park model - not an RV.

And there WE are - 2 streets over.

My walk results …

And I laughed when I lit a scent candle next to the potted plant sitting on the kitchen counter: I had come home from our shopping in Tillamook with some groceries & a pretty ivy plant … but we could not find Tillamook Cheese of any kind in Tillamook! There were other brands - but none of them were stamped with the Tillamook brand 🧐 So, I guess the only place to buy Tillamook Cheese in Tillamook, is at the Cheese Factory 😕

The pretty Ivy I bought grocery shopping in Tillamook-WA

Tomorrow, we pull stakes here; so, tonight, I'm going to ease into the intentional space of Shabbat through some preparatory 'moving teardowns' before sundown, and doing a little self-care ✨🌹 before my eyes close in slumber 🛌😴

=August 31, 2025 - TILLAMOOK-OR; Pt. #1: (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/08/tillamook-or-pt-1.html)

=September 1, 2025 - TILLAMOOK-OR (Pt. 2)/Shabbat~Self-Care: (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/09/tillamook-or-pt-2shabbatself-care.html)