MUSIC CAN BE A DANGEROUS TOOL~Self-Care; Ocean Park-WA

When I told Holland that I liked Evanescence's song, 'Bring Me To Life', and I told him why - it is [our song]:

Evanescence - 'Bring Me To Life' song: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YxaaGgTQYM&list=RD3YxaaGgTQYM&start_radio=1)

Lyrics: How can you see into my eyes like open doors?

Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb

Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up) wake me up inside

(I can't wake up) wake me up inside

(Save me) call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up) bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up) before I come undone

(Save me) save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without

You can't just leave me

Breathe into me and make me real

Bring me to life

(Wake me up) wake me up inside

(I can't wake up) wake me up inside

(Save me) call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up) bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up) before I come undone

(Save me) save me from the nothing I've become

(Bring me to life)

(There's nothing inside)

(Bring me to life)

Frozen inside without your touch

Without your love, darling

Only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see

Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems

Got to open my eyes to everything

Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul

Don't let me die here, there must be something more

Bring me to life

(Wake me up) wake me up inside

(I can't wake up) wake me up inside

(Save me) call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up) bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up) before I come undone

(Save me) save me from the nothing I've become

(Bring me to life)

(I've been living a lie)

(There's nothing inside)

(Bring me to life)

Holland told me yesterday while we were driving around with it blaring from Betsy's cab speakers, "you know what? I was reading something about this singer, and I read that she is a Christian and Evanescence is a Christian band". I said, "I don't think so - have you seen her in action? Christian girls do not flash their asses on stage. Christian girls don't sell themselves, sexually. Christian girls do not play Lolita to attract pedophile voyeurs. I don't listen to Evanescence on a large scale because the music is dark. I like this song because it amplifies my draw to your essence when I started paying attention to you that October night 2-1/2 years ago - but that's it. I'm not an Evanescence fan, in general. And I for sure, do not consider anything about this band 'Christian'. There's nothing 'Christian' about goth, or emo, or any other label that caters to dark energy, drug addictions, death, or sexual cultic behavior." He said, "Well, I disagree." I shrugged and replied, "That's your right - your free, white, and over 21. Your disagreement still doesn't make this band a Christian band, anymore than aging Alice Cooper's claim, or those thrash metal bands Korn and Living Sacrifice, also being promoted as "Christian"; Brian Welch himself, said that he would not want his daughter listening to his music … and nothing has changed with Alice Cooper's stage persona. Personally, I believe that anything that sounds demonic in tone cannot possibly be Christian - they can promote themselves that way all they want to … but behavior, tone, and nuance proves otherwise. Remember, Lucifer himself, the chief liar, boldly and destructively promotes himself as God's firstborn; the dark "son" parallel to the Son of Light, Yeshua. Lucifer is the epitome of music gone disastrously bad; Lucifer was created AS music; the soul of music calls to people - it's very alluring in it's sway towards life or death, and that's why we have to be careful what we give our ear to - listen to the lyrics as well as the beat. I love you. I like this song. And I don't want to engage in a battle of the wills - over a band insignificant in the grand scheme of things, okay?" He gave me that sexy smile of his, reached over the console for my hand, and said, "Agreed".

Holland listens to music with a hard-driving, angry growling genre: he never hears the lyrics … and that is what was behind most of our musical arguments.

The two Scripture passages that describe Lucifer before he was cast out of Heaven, are Ezekiel 28:12-19 and Isaiah 14:12-15. Satan was the “anointed cherub” (Ezekiel 28:14). He was adorned with every precious jewel & instrument imaginable (Ezekiel 28:13). He was “the model of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty” (Ezekiel 28:12b). Likely he was the highest of all angels. He was persuasive enough to convince one-third of the angels to join him in his rebellion (Revelation 12:4).

There are some things I just refuse to listen to (like AC/DC … and those prancing big-hair 1980's falsetto-screeching-drag-faced bands: they set my teeth on edge, never have a message of value, & give me a raging migraine), so Holland collected a playlist of songs "just for you Baby - they're old school", that he links to Betsy's stereo system when we're road tripping. And I appreciate that. He's a good man, and a considerate husband to me ❤️

Evanescence's song, 'Bring Me To Life', is now included in that "Baby" Playlist lineup 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

He replayed the song a couple more times: and I smiled back at the man beside me - who literally brought me back to life, and made me feel again after I had become so numb following Bob's death: until Elohim deliberately placed Holland directly in my Life's path, I didn't know I could be capable of responding to anyone, other than Bob, emotionally and physically. Holland is a true blessing. His steady love, genuine caring, and absolute devotion, truly brought me back to life. I am glad, and proud to be his Wife. Even when some days get tangled in his sporadic black moods. I know he can't help those mood swings when life overwhelms; and honestly, those black moods are kinds dissipating - one of these days, they'll disappear altogether. On the whole, we are good for each other. We are relaxing into this marriage, so different from previous relationships we've both experienced. Together, we are both healing - and giving all the praise to Elohim.

WET & GUSTY SHABBAT EVE~Self-Care; Ocean Park-WA

This Shabbat is a rock and rolling event … stormy weather has come to the peninsula 😒 and that's a fitting end to a rocky 2 weeks overshadowed by sibling deaths (both sides of our Union), and another sibling attacked in in her home by a stranger - police later informed her was a sex offender.

I am more than ready for my Shabbat Rest period ☝️🕊️

Admittedly, the observation has been trimmed back significantly since remarriage because my new husband is convinced my Shabbat observance is a seventh day adventist thing: I have told him repeatedly that I am a Jew, and though I am a Messianic Jew ✝️ (meaning saved by Yeshua's atonement) and do not adhere to the orthodox rituals … I do keep the observance for a 24 hour period 💖

I am not going to argue with anyone about whether a Christian should observe the Sabbath or not – I DO because Yeshua DID. The Early Church DID … and I DO now.

But before I settle in for my 24-hour reboot period, I did some very necessary self-care things: (1) I blocked a sibling on FB; she is self-destructive and if I don't block her - I'll find myself checking her Page to make sure she's okay. I came to the decision this morning that I really do not need the frustrated stress. I'm cutting her loose ✂️, and letting Elohim check in on her (2) I stayed focused on my body toning 🏋️‍♀️ goal 👌

8-lb. Dumb-bell weight & 10-lb Kettlebell weight; 8 to 10 repetitions EA exercise; you can go at your own speed, throughout the Day.

Calorie burn & steps taken this year, compared to last year - same day, same timeframe.

1 mile walked today … and I never left the house.

54 mins workout; 470 calories burned; swept floor, made bed, did exercise sets during that timeframe.

Heart Rate during workout period; safe range for my age & physical limitations.

And Holland has been engaging in some introspective thoughts, also. He is thinking we'll be packing up and moving the end of this month; he's cutting some familial ties ✂️ with self-destructive people, also.

We're making wise decisions. We're building a Life that works for US.

Life is just too short to keep spinning our wheels. The familial hamster wheels keep us both so stressed that our bodies are ballooning with the fallout 😟🤦🏻‍♀️ Hopefully, putting some distance between us and the stressful situations - as well as changing the way we eat, will help with the cortisol issue. Our joints need some relief, as well as our hearts & emotions.

Cortisol:

(https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/22187-cortisol)

Plus the weather here, since April, has been cold and wet 😔; we can literally count on 1 hand how many sunny, warm, days we have enjoyed here this year. In all honesty, the weather everywhere has been pretty rotten; but at least there was some warmth in the lower regions of America: he's looking into some of those warmer climates, and planning routes for sun chasing 😎😘

Wet & gusty, today; Ocean Park-WA  5:50 PM

Gale  Watch Warning; Coastal

We live on the road - and our home is slightly elevated; we feel strong winds.

Holland is seriously contemplating pulling stakes here, the end of this month.

We are both wanting, and hoping for a warmer and unifying days ahead 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

It's Holland's time to whip things up in the kitchen until Monday; my husband does not know how to "cook light". He knows how to cook bachelor carnivore fare, and totally cancels the fact that he is no longer spry rooster working the carnivore fare off 🤦🏻‍♀️; he's a senior aged couch potato living the retirement Life of Riley - and I'm trying to lose fat … while my husband is feeding me fatback soup with man-size toasted cheese sandwiches 😕

Even toning and burning calories, I'm probably just breaking even, at this point. But, he is a good man who is good for me - plus, he does make good food 😘 And I am determined: it may take me an entire year to get back into some of my closet clothes 🤞 (there are 52 weeks in a year - if 1 lose 1 pound a week, it's still doable) but it's gonna happen.

Now, I'm going to take my fat & sassy/aching in a good way body upstairs to bed - where I'll while away a couple hours listening to the raindrops tap dance across Independence's roof, and read a couple more chapters in the Clive Cussler novel that's picking up speed in narrative action: I'm going to ignore the world's chaos for the next 23 hours …

Picking up where I last left off … tonight is a perfect night for reading about stormy weather 😉