MUSIC CAN BE A DANGEROUS TOOL~Self-Care; Ocean Park-WA

When I told Holland that I liked Evanescence's song, 'Bring Me To Life', and I told him why - it is [our song]:

Evanescence - 'Bring Me To Life' song: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YxaaGgTQYM&list=RD3YxaaGgTQYM&start_radio=1)

Lyrics: How can you see into my eyes like open doors?

Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb

Without a soul, my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up) wake me up inside

(I can't wake up) wake me up inside

(Save me) call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up) bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up) before I come undone

(Save me) save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without

You can't just leave me

Breathe into me and make me real

Bring me to life

(Wake me up) wake me up inside

(I can't wake up) wake me up inside

(Save me) call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up) bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up) before I come undone

(Save me) save me from the nothing I've become

(Bring me to life)

(There's nothing inside)

(Bring me to life)

Frozen inside without your touch

Without your love, darling

Only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see

Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems

Got to open my eyes to everything

Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul

Don't let me die here, there must be something more

Bring me to life

(Wake me up) wake me up inside

(I can't wake up) wake me up inside

(Save me) call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up) bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up) before I come undone

(Save me) save me from the nothing I've become

(Bring me to life)

(I've been living a lie)

(There's nothing inside)

(Bring me to life)

Holland told me yesterday while we were driving around with it blaring from Betsy's cab speakers, "you know what? I was reading something about this singer, and I read that she is a Christian and Evanescence is a Christian band". I said, "I don't think so - have you seen her in action? Christian girls do not flash their asses on stage. Christian girls don't sell themselves, sexually. Christian girls do not play Lolita to attract pedophile voyeurs. I don't listen to Evanescence on a large scale because the music is dark. I like this song because it amplifies my draw to your essence when I started paying attention to you that October night 2-1/2 years ago - but that's it. I'm not an Evanescence fan, in general. And I for sure, do not consider anything about this band 'Christian'. There's nothing 'Christian' about goth, or emo, or any other label that caters to dark energy, drug addictions, death, or sexual cultic behavior." He said, "Well, I disagree." I shrugged and replied, "That's your right - your free, white, and over 21. Your disagreement still doesn't make this band a Christian band, anymore than aging Alice Cooper's claim, or those thrash metal bands Korn and Living Sacrifice, also being promoted as "Christian"; Brian Welch himself, said that he would not want his daughter listening to his music … and nothing has changed with Alice Cooper's stage persona. Personally, I believe that anything that sounds demonic in tone cannot possibly be Christian - they can promote themselves that way all they want to … but behavior, tone, and nuance proves otherwise. Remember, Lucifer himself, the chief liar, boldly and destructively promotes himself as God's firstborn; the dark "son" parallel to the Son of Light, Yeshua. Lucifer is the epitome of music gone disastrously bad; Lucifer was created AS music; the soul of music calls to people - it's very alluring in it's sway towards life or death, and that's why we have to be careful what we give our ear to - listen to the lyrics as well as the beat. I love you. I like this song. And I don't want to engage in a battle of the wills - over a band insignificant in the grand scheme of things, okay?" He gave me that sexy smile of his, reached over the console for my hand, and said, "Agreed".

Holland listens to music with a hard-driving, angry growling genre: he never hears the lyrics … and that is what was behind most of our musical arguments.

The two Scripture passages that describe Lucifer before he was cast out of Heaven, are Ezekiel 28:12-19 and Isaiah 14:12-15. Satan was the “anointed cherub” (Ezekiel 28:14). He was adorned with every precious jewel & instrument imaginable (Ezekiel 28:13). He was “the model of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty” (Ezekiel 28:12b). Likely he was the highest of all angels. He was persuasive enough to convince one-third of the angels to join him in his rebellion (Revelation 12:4).

There are some things I just refuse to listen to (like AC/DC … and those prancing big-hair 1980's falsetto-screeching-drag-faced bands: they set my teeth on edge, never have a message of value, & give me a raging migraine), so Holland collected a playlist of songs "just for you Baby - they're old school", that he links to Betsy's stereo system when we're road tripping. And I appreciate that. He's a good man, and a considerate husband to me ❤️

Evanescence's song, 'Bring Me To Life', is now included in that "Baby" Playlist lineup 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

He replayed the song a couple more times: and I smiled back at the man beside me - who literally brought me back to life, and made me feel again after I had become so numb following Bob's death: until Elohim deliberately placed Holland directly in my Life's path, I didn't know I could be capable of responding to anyone, other than Bob, emotionally and physically. Holland is a true blessing. His steady love, genuine caring, and absolute devotion, truly brought me back to life. I am glad, and proud to be his Wife. Even when some days get tangled in his sporadic black moods. I know he can't help those mood swings when life overwhelms; and honestly, those black moods are kinds dissipating - one of these days, they'll disappear altogether. On the whole, we are good for each other. We are relaxing into this marriage, so different from previous relationships we've both experienced. Together, we are both healing - and giving all the praise to Elohim.

BE STILL & KNOW~SHABBAT EVE; Ocean Park-WA

We spent about half an hour this afternoon cruising the peninsula beach, and watched a couple eagles:

Bald-Headed Eagle & Crow

Adult + Juvenile Bald-Headed Eagle

Bald-Headed Eagle eating, with Seagulls.

3 Bald-Headed Eagles & Seagulls.

Juvenile Bald-Headed Eagle.

Watching them, two scriptures came to mind … Elohim highlighted these scriptures to me in 2022: “let the dead bury their dead, you come and follow Me”, and “be still and know that I am God” – which I interpret to mean, be still/rest/let Him deal with it.

I can do that.

There are a few things on my mind, and a couple people pressing on my heart: today is Shabbat, time to rest, shrug off pressing needs and focus on Elohim.

I can do that.

Divine Hymns - 'Be Still And Know That I Am God Song' Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1Jk5vEavZ8)

Yeshua is my spiritual Husband, and He will work things out for my best end; I don’t have to understand it. I don’t have to be given a detailed outline of how He will accomplish it. I just have to know that He is doing it – and have faith that it is getting done.

Today's eagle's were timely.

A memory was brought to mind - also timely.

“Be still/rest/let Him deal with it": today is all about being still in the presence of Yeshua, resting in Elohim's grace, & letting the Ruach HaKo'desh work things out. I don’t have to be given a detailed outline of how things will be accomplished … I just have to know that He is doing it – and have faith that it is getting done.

I can do that.

Michael Reid - 'They That Wait' hymn: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wN4O7aTqOu4)

LIAR!

I'm so mad I could spit nails.

I don't like liars.

I don't like being hoodwinked by delusional liars.

Buffy Sainte-Marie has been apart of my life for just about as long as I've been alive: my beatnik mother actually met her … and her tunes flitted through the house, along with other folk singers like Woody Guthrie (who my father actually met), and Pete Seeger.

I was more familiar with Arlo Guthrie, Bob Dylan, and Joan Baez 😉

But I liked Buffy, too.

I like Indian music: XIT, Redbone, and Buffy; Buffy's songs got me through the hard times of 2019 - 2022.

I always secretly hoped that at 84, I'd look as well preserved as Buffy 😉

Wikipedia has already updated their Page; stating publicly that she is a bona fide LIAR: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffy_Sainte-Marie

What I learned infuriates me!

Poor Holland - he's had to listen to me for hours, trying to come to terms with what I've learned. And bless him - he has been helpful in helping me process the 60-year delusional lies. 

Listening to her own videos where she tries to make what she did seem okay, it is clear to me that she is a cold-hearted bitch that has lost touch with reality. This is a hard realization for me; but it is what it is. I vacillated most of the evening between  anger, tears, head-shaking, and feeling sorry for a woman who feels no shame at all for what she has done.

All for the sake of money and fame.

This song, that I listened to most of 2019 & 2020 speaks of strength, honesty, and truth.

Obviously Buffy is not familiar with any of it …

Buffy Sainte-Marie & Tanya Tagaq "You Got To Run (Spirit Of The Wind)" song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5zb0WTSLsY)

This woman I had always considered a strong woman actually has a very weak-spine. A coward that feels no remorse.

This woman who claims she is a compassionate empath, is actually a cold-hearted narcissist.

This woman who claims she is all about peace, love, and harmony; has caused hateful chaos, has no conception at all of what love is, and is singing a sour tune as she tries to continue selling her lies.

It's all so SAD.

Buffy is 84 years old: she is looking eternity in the face, and feels no shame at all for the damages she has wrought.

The proofs of her lies are glaringly obvious; there is NO SANE WAY she can refute any of it - and yet she tries.

Her Birth Certificate (that she claims does not exist) CLEARLY STATES that she is Italian and English; not Native American. She was not adopted (as she has claimed for 60 years), and she was not the child of an unwed Indian mother. She DID marry an Indian for a brief period of time, and her son is half Indian … but Buffy, herself, does not have a drop of Indian blood in her veins - despite her calculated appearance.

I like Indian music: but I don't think I can ever again hear another Buffy song.

As long as I live …