The 1st Day of Summer was ushered in here, with rain 😕
We also came to peace agreement between US.
We were friends before we married, we are still friends - and this marriage will eventually get sorted.
I'm not engaging in any more fighting; no matter what bait is dangled before me.
And Holland has decided to date "his Bride" (me) - BUT as with all dating situations, Holland is having to make choices … and is coming to the understanding that I've reached my limit with the redmill chaos, and my boundaries are now non-negotiable. He will have to make these decisions by turning to Yeshua; I am done engaging in word wars - whatever he decides will have to be with a 'come to Jesus moment' because I'm still claiming [space] for inner peace.
We got married in a fever that took time to build on my end (18 months to be exact); and all we really knew about each other was the limited view we had of each other's life during Fellowship meets, luncheons, & Sunday Services at the Oak Point Grange. I was bluntly up front about what my relationship with the Godhead is, spoke openly about the deep love I had for Bob, how I was coping with widowhood, and made it very clear that I was not anticipating remarriage (Elohim obviously had other Plans) - Holland was a very quiet man who rarely shared anything concerning anything; he was very private. So, I am justifiably shocked and surprised at what I am finding out about the family he told me didn't have any connection to (which was a lie because he's in Kelso every week with one sibling or another) - a family with very questionable behaviors, religious beliefs, and a toxic alpha-male view of women in general. Ditto for the friends he surrounds himself with. I have never spent time with males like this, and I am not happy with his insistence that I do so, now. This is causing a lot of friction between us. I'm beginning to think that Holland didn't hear anything I was saying at all during those meets, luncheons, or Sunday services - he couldn't have, if he is angry now, with the me he is living with full time. I have not changed. And I am not going to make space in my life for his family chaos, outright sin, or cultic religious mindsets. NO.
But I can be a Friend. A platonic friend, not a conquered challenge to be swayed to his way of thinking. I have a few friends who are not Christians … but I do not engage in risky recklessness - they know I am a solid Christian, and do not demand I be anything else. I don't have sexual encounters with friends … Holland and his family members have, and do.
If my husband of 29 months, wants to date me, that's fine with me - but, I don't do friends with benefits "dating": I do old-school dating. Dating is a time to get to know a person, a deepening of a love that leads to a lifelong commitment. I do Wife with Benefits. Holland hopefully will move past the redmill playboy boyfriend stage, and decide to be a dedicated Husband with Benefits.
So, this afternoon, we went for a drive to thaw this freeze between us. We were friends before we married, we are still friends … and we both hold on to hope that we can be good spouses to each other; especially because we both know neither of us are going anywhere. Marriage for me, is a lifelong Deal - and Holland is coming around to that conclusion, also.
We need to be good spouses to each other.
We drove to Ilwaco and back home via Sandridge Road.
We drove past the Long Beach Farmer's Market, and saw that it really is not a "Farmer's" Market, but rather a flea market atmosphere.
But we did see a couple of interesting sights along the way 😉
Geese at Ilwaco Marina; it looks like most of them were sleeping on their feet.
Texting with my Graysriver friend; I miss my Sleuth Sisters.
Pirates scuttlebuttin', off to the side of Marsha's Museum; Long Beach-WA
Scooby Doo - I see you! The Mystery Machine has fallen on hard times … Long Beach-WA
Back home, I made a light Supper of fish, shrimp, and steamed veggies; stuck to my self-care exercise routine, and worked a while on my WIP while giving a listen to the following video.
Jan Markell~Olive Tree Ministries - 'It’s Later Than It’s Ever Been': (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9fnsHTb--J8)
Everything is complicated right now; my life, my marriage, Israel's right to survive, iran inciting a WW3 scenario … only Yeshua can give peace that passes all understanding: and that is what I want to rest in - in tonight's Shabbat Rest ✝️
And also, tomorrow 🙏
Always 💗
Stitchin' to the rhythm of the rain.
