Today is my daughter's BD; 51 years
Holland asked if I wanted to call my daughter … and I gave an empathic "No." If she wants to reach out to me, I'm good with that - but she chose this silence by telling me she "isn't interested in building a bridge" between hearts; she chose to end all contact between us in 2020 & she forbids me to even talk to my grandchildren, so she can make the first move to right this situation: I'm done running after her for acknowledgment of my existence, or begging for space at her table.
Holland doesn't understand because his family feeds on major dysfunction: I chose otherwise. I do miss my daughter & grandchildren, but they will have to make the 1st move towards me; over the past 42 years, I've had all the rejection from my daughter, that I can stand. No contact any more, is her choice.
My choice to allow her, her choice, is not made out of meanness … it is made out of a will to live happily, joyfully, and FULLY the few years I have left to walk this Earth. She has to decide for herself if she will walk those years with me. If she will allow her children (oldest, 31 & youngest, 11 in a couple weeks), to have contact with me. Until she snaps out of her funk and gets real, I will respect her choice … and, she will always occupy a piece of my heart that is hers alone.
Earlier in the morning, we had driven into Ilwaco-WA; to check out the Saturday Market, there - but we didn't see anything that piqued our interest enough to pull over and stroll through the tent area.
On our way home from Ilwaco, we stopped at David's place in Long Beach, and had a brief chat with him, his son, and DIL. They were busy with property cleanup, so we didn't stay more than about 45 minutes. We were invited to a fireside get-together at dusk - and we considered it, as we turned Betsy towards home.
Being at the beach causes my thoughts to meander through past memories here: especially today.
2 important notations for Today …
I posted them on FB after we got back home.
The fella on the right with my wolf under his leg is the man who was responsible for my daughter's BD, today:
The fella on the left, with the rott, was our friend David Hargrove - he came into our lives in 1983, fresh from a motorcycle accident in Idaho: he had ridden with several {gangs}, but the ones we knew about were the Hell's Angels, the Bandito's, & the Gypsy Jokers - Bob knew several Gypsy Jokers before we married, so he and Dave got along well. I trusted him 100% around my children & grandchildren. He became a fast friend in 1983, and was a life-long friend until his death in 2014 … on this Day - my daughter's 40th BD, then (today, this year - is her 51st BD: how is that even possible! I do not feel that old 😉). He left Earth knowing that soon our family would be blessed with a new baby: a boy! that would arrive the end of June, that year; he was happy for us - I wished he could have stuck around to meet our new grandson. David died in Ilwaco-WA & his ash urn was buried on his property alongside Sandridge Road, in Long Beach-WA
My wolf, Precious, went ahead of David in the Fall of 2013.
My Husband Bob, followed David's departure, 4 years later in the Winter 2018.
This May 24th … when my new Husband Holland, & I, drove past that little house along Sandridge Road, I am missing them all 😔❣️
When I checked my FB Page a couple hours later, there were comments and a private message:
Holland is still taking prescribed antibiotics for the gash on his calf, and they make him drowsy - so, he slept for about 3 hours … got up, stumbled into the livingroom … and promptly fell back asleep in his recliner, for another 2 hours.
I shot a text to David, informing him that we'd be staying in for the night: we do want to visit - but right now, Holland's leg healing is more pressing.
He woke up long enough to eat Supper.
Then he took a shower - and went back to bed.
I'm glad his body is finally getting the rest it needs to properly heal; thank the Lord ❤️
