WELCOME TO MY CRAZY LIFE

Thursday, September 25, 2025

LOSING EVERYONE WHILE FINDING MYSELF; Coalinga-CA

Not too much to say today 😑; my Blog Title ✍️ pretty much sums things up.

I don't know what is going to happen 🤔 - or where I'll be in the near future 🙄 … all I know for sure is that I am stopping the hamster wheel I've been stuck on for the past 34 months; and will be working on 🎯☝️🙏 myself for the next 12 months.

Holland is being himself 😈

And I'm stepping back 🙄: and letting him be himself 🤦🏻‍♀️

Today, all I did was make a tasty supper, and doing some toning exercises. That's it 🌹 And that's okay.

VAL'S 4Patriots COWBOY RICE & BEANS w-STEAK; Coalinga-CA:  (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/09/vals-4patriots-cowboy-rice-beans-w.html)

The Standing Arm Raises with Dumbbells exercise, primarily work the anterior deltoids (front of the shoulders) and involve secondary engagement from the upper chest, trapezius muscles, and core muscles for stabilization. Other muscles that assist in the movement include the lateral deltoids (side of the shoulders), serratus anterior, and the clavicular part of the pectoralis major (upper chest).

Standing arm raises with dumbbells can be appropriate for a senior woman, but it's crucial to prioritize safety and proper form by starting with light weights, maintaining good posture, and consulting a healthcare provider or physical therapist before beginning a new exercise program. The goal is to gradually increase strength, but it's important to listen to the body, adjust weights and reps as needed, and avoid exercises that cause excess pain. 

Primary Muscles Worked

Anterior Deltoids: These are the muscles at the front of your shoulders and are the main targets of the dumbbell front raise, responsible for lifting the arm in front of the body.

Secondary Muscles Worked

Upper Chest (Pectoralis Major): The clavicular head of the pectoralis major assists in the shoulder flexion movement. 

Trapezius (Traps): Both the upper and lower sections of the traps engage to help stabilize the shoulder and upper back. 

Serratus Anterior: This muscle located on the side of your rib cage helps control the movement and stabilize the shoulder blade. 

Core Muscles: To maintain an upright posture and prevent momentum from the lower body from taking over, your abdominal and glute muscles will contract to stabilize the movement.

Pectoralis Major Muscles
Traps Muscles & Serratus Anterior Muscles

The primary function is to lift the arm forward. The surrounding muscles provide stability to the shoulder joint during the exercise. The core muscles, including the abs and glutes, are engaged to maintain a strong, stable base throughout the movement.

The Standing Dumbbell Lateral Raised Arms Hold exercise, primarily target the medial (side) deltoids, responsible for shoulder width. Secondary muscles engaged include the trapezius for support, the serratus anterior for scapular control, and the rotator cuff muscles (like the supraspinatus) for shoulder joint stability.

As a general guideline, standing dumbbell lateral raises can be an effective exercise for senior women to build shoulder strength, but the "arms hold" variation may require extra care. 

Primary Muscles Worked

Medial Deltoids: The main muscle group responsible for the movement, located on the sides of your shoulders, contributing to upper-body aesthetics.

Secondary Muscles Worked

Rotator Cuff: A group of muscles, including the supraspinatus, that provide stability to the shoulder joint during the lateral raise.

How to Maximize Muscle Engagement:

Lead with your elbows: Instead of leading with your hands, focus on driving your elbows up and out to keep tension on the deltoids.

Use lighter weights: Lateral raises are best performed with lighter dumbbells to maintain proper form and focus on the deltoids, rather than using momentum. 

Keep your arms almost straight: Don't use a big bend in your elbows; keep them slightly unlocked. 

Control the movement: Perform the exercise in a slow, controlled manner to ensure your muscles are doing the work.

Modifications for safety where health concerns like osteoporosis and balance issues are present.

To make lateral raises safer and more effective for senior women, consider these modifications:

Use light weights: The goal is not to lift heavy, but to perform the movement with control. You can even start with household objects like soup cans to build initial strength.

Avoid holding: Instead of holding at the top of the movement, focus on a slow and controlled lift and a slow, controlled descent.

Do bent-arm lateral raises: Bending the elbows to a 90-degree angle shortens the lever, placing less stress on the shoulder joint.

Perform seated lateral raises: Sitting down eliminates the need to stabilize the body, allowing for more focus on proper form and shoulder isolation.

Keep the arms below shoulder level: Lifting the arms no higher than shoulder height is crucial to protect the delicate shoulder joints from impingement.

Try scaption raises: Lifting the dumbbells at a 45-degree angle in front of the body can be more comfortable for sensitive shoulder joints than lifting directly to the side.

Benefits of strength training for seniors

When done correctly, lateral raises and other forms of strength training offer significant benefits for senior women:

Maintains independence: Stronger shoulders are essential for daily tasks like reaching for objects, carrying groceries, and putting on clothes.

Increases bone density: Weight-bearing exercises help prevent osteoporosis, a major health concern for many women.

Improves balance: A strong upper body and core contribute to better balance and a reduced risk of falls.

Boosts metabolism: Maintaining and building muscle mass helps with weight management and boosts metabolism. 

The Standing Bicep Curls w-Dumbbells exercise, primarily use the Biceps Brachii (the large muscle on the front of your upper arm), the Brachialis (located underneath the biceps), and the Brachioradialis (a forearm muscle) to flex the elbow. The standing position also engages the core muscles (like abs and obliques) to provide stability and support to the torso.

Standing dumbbell bicep curls are a safe and beneficial exercise for senior women to build arm strength and muscle, but it is crucial to start with light weights and focus on proper form, keeping the torso still and elbows tucked in. If a woman has balance issues, a chronic condition, or an injury, she should consult a doctor before starting, and can also perform a modified version while seated or even without weights to get accustomed to the movement. 

Primary Muscles (Biceps Area)

Biceps Brachii: This is the main muscle targeted, responsible for flexing the elbow and supinating the forearm (turning the palm upward)

Brachialis: Situated beneath the biceps, this muscle is also a strong elbow flexor and is worked regardless of forearm rotation. 

Brachioradialis: This muscle runs along the forearm and aids in elbow flexion, particularly when the palms are facing each other or are pronated (facing inward).

Brachialis Muscle & Brachioradialis Muscle

Secondary Muscles (Stabilizers)

Core Muscles (Abs, Obliques): In the standing position, these muscles work isometrically to keep your torso stable and upright throughout the exercise. 

Forearm Muscles: Other muscles in the forearm are also worked to a lesser degree to grip the dumbbells and control the movement.

External Abdominal Oblique Muscles
Forearm Muscles

Modifications for safety where health concerns like osteoporosis and balance issues are present.

Posture: Stand tall with your shoulders back and chest up. 

Grip: Hold a dumbbell in each hand with your palms facing forward. 

Elbows: Keep your elbows tucked in close to your sides. 

Curl: Slowly curl the weights up towards your shoulders, keeping your torso stationary. 

Control: Pause briefly at the top, then slowly lower the weights with control.

Start Light: Use very light weights, or even do the exercise without weights, to focus on correct form and prevent injury. 

Listen to Your Body: Pay attention to how you feel and stop if you experience any pain. 

Functional Movement: The standing bicep curl mimics the real-life action of lifting groceries, making it a great exercise for improving functional strength.

The Dumbbell Overhead Hold exercise, works your shoulders (deltoids), upper back (trapezius), core, triceps, and forearms are engaged to maintain the weight overhead. The core muscles are particularly important for stabilizing the trunk and maintaining posture, while the scapular muscles help stabilize the shoulder blades. The forearms and wrists work to maintain the grip and static position of the dumbbells.

An overhead dumbbell hold can be safe for a senior woman, but only if appropriate modifications are made. Starting with very light weights, or even just holding arms overhead, and ensuring excellent form are essential for avoiding injury, particularly to the shoulders. Given the risks, consulting a doctor or physical therapist beforehand is highly recommended.

Primary Movers

Deltoids (Shoulders): The front and side parts of the deltoids are the primary muscles responsible for initiating and holding the weight overhead.

Triceps: The muscles at the back of the upper arm work to extend the elbow, helping to keep the weight elevated.

Trapezius (Upper Back/Neck): This muscle helps stabilize the shoulder blades and maintain proper shoulder position.

Deltoids & Triceps Muscles

Traps Muscles

Stabilizers and Supporting Muscles

Core Muscles: The abdominals and other core muscles are engaged to stabilize the torso, maintain posture, and keep the body upright, especially during dynamic movements like carries.

Forearms & Wrists: These muscles are crucial for maintaining a secure grip on the dumbbells and holding them in a static position.

Scapular Stabilizers: Muscles like the rhomboids also help to keep the shoulder blades stable and secure.

Forearm Muscles
Wrist Flexors

Holding dumbbells overhead, whether in a static hold or a moving exercise like an overhead carry, is a great way to improve overall body stability and strength. It places a significant demand on the shoulders, core, and back, helping to build functional strength that translates to everyday movements and other exercises.

Modifications for safety where health concerns like osteoporosis and balance issues are present.

Shoulder injury: Improper form is common with overhead movements, especially for older adults with compromised posture or reduced mobility. This can strain the muscles and connective tissues of the shoulder joint, increasing the risk of rotator cuff injuries.

Back strain: Older adults may not have the core strength to stabilize their spine during an overhead hold. They may arch their lower back to compensate, which puts the spine under unnecessary strain.

Osteoporosis concerns: While supervised heavy lifting has been shown to be safe and beneficial for bone density, overhead exercises should be approached with caution, especially by individuals with severe osteoporosis. Proper supervision is critical to ensure safety.

Modifications for safety and effectiveness

Start with seated variations: Performing the exercise while seated in a sturdy chair with back support removes the stability challenge and allows the woman to focus on proper form and upper body strength.

Use light or no weight: Start by holding no weight at all. Progress to very light weights, such as 1 or 2-pound dumbbells, or even household items like soup cans or water bottles.

Lift one arm at a time: This is another excellent way to reduce the load and focus on individual shoulder strength and form. It also challenges the core and balance on one side of the body.

Focus on proper form: Ensure the core is engaged to protect the back and the shoulders are pulled down, away from the ears. The arms should be in line with the torso, not pushed forward.

Try alternative exercises: Safer alternatives can still strengthen the same muscle groups:

Dumbbell scaption (lifting weights to the side at a 45-degree angle)

Bent-over dumbbell rows

Seated chest press

Standing or seated lateral raises

VAL'S 4Patriots COWBOY RICE & BEANS w-STEAK; Coalinga-CA

Val's 4-Patriots Cowboy Rice & Beans w-Steak

As you may have guessed, this skillet meal is called cowboy beans 🤠because cowboys were known to carry beans with them as they traveled trail drives; the beans were basically lightweight, readily available, and inexpensive. Beans & rice also have a long shelf life, which was important for those long chuckwagon trips across the grasslands and mountain passes.

Beans also work for my road gypsy lifestyle: they take up very little storage room, are by and large light weight to carry ... and beans are an essential high-protein food that can serve as a healthy substitute for meat in a diet (when meat is hard to come by during boondocking experiences), providing protein along with fiber, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. While most beans are incomplete proteins on their own, combining them with other foods like grains can provide all the necessary amino acids.

Tonight, there is meat in the freezer 😁 - and I am going to be using some of that meat in tonight's supper fare for my personal cowboy.

Ingredients.
Shredded cheese blend …
Half of a 4Patriots pkt. of Cowboy Beans & Rice Supper dry mix; with a mesh strainer, separate the solids from the powdered sauce blend.
Onion, pepper, tomato, & garlic medley.
Julienne sliced steak bits.
Prep work out of the way to make cooking time in the kitchen easy & quick ;-)

Val's 4-Patriots Cowboy Rice & Beans w-Steak ~serves 3

1/2 pkt. 4Patriots Cowboy Rice & Bean dry mix * 1 medium thin Beef Steak, sliced * 2 Tablespoons Bacon grease * 1 medium Yellow Onion sliced * 1 Wax Pepper, seeded and diced * 1 Garlic clove, pressed * 4 c. Water * 1 5-oz can V-8 Juice * 1 Roma Tomato, chopped (opt.) * 4 tsp. Beef Bullion * ½ teaspoon Black Pepper, grnd. * 2 tsp. Sazon Coriander and Annatto Seasoning * 1 TBSP dark Chili Powder * 1/2 TBSP ground Cumin * 1/2 tsp Garlic Salt * 1/2 tsp Lemon Pepper * 1 TBSP Cilantro, chopped * 1 c. BLENDED Cheddar cheese, grated & Pepper Jack Cheese, grated * 1 med-size Mesh Strainer * Lrg. Skillet w-lid * Lrg. Skillet Screen * Lrg. Cooking Spoon * 2 Dinner Plates

The kitchen will smell so wonderful while this meal cooks …

(1) In a large skillet cook over medium-high heat, melt the bacon grease & meat; brown the meat.


Add onion, garlic, & pepper - cook until onion is translucent & pepper is softened.

Add vegetables & garlic; stir to incorporate.

(2) Increase the temperature to high heat. In a glass measuring cup - blend the dry sauce mix & spices; add 1 c. of the water, the V- juice, & mix well: pour into the skillet mixture.

In a liquid measuring cup, blend dry sauce mix & spices together.
Add V-8 juice & 2 c. water; blend well & add to skillet mixture. Stir.

Add the dry mix rice & beans to the skillet combination, and stir in the remaining water … bring mixture to a boil, stirring.

Turn the heat to low & simmer uncovered for 45 minutes -  or until the rice is tender and most of the liquid has been absorbed. Stir frequently to keep rice from sticking to skillet bottom.

(3) Top skillet mixture with the cheese & cilantro:

Turn heat off and cover with lid, allowing the cheese to melt.

This was skillet meal SO GOOD!

Definitely a repeat 😘👏

PEARL GRIT; Coalinga-CA

I'm working on me; this crazy marriage has undone all the progress I had made over the hard won gains of 2019 to 2023. So, I am pulling back & starting to set my life up for what works for me. I am currently rearranging some things in my life. And that’s okay. Life is always changing course, and we have to go with the flow: things change, people change – life goes on.

My new husband is a bully - and I know that is a direct result of his childhood traumatic brain injury, inflicted on him by his oldest brother. But I have issues I am dealing with too, and I can't allow the bully tactics to continue. Mr. Complication is going to have to learn to change behavior patterns that are more habit that injury. Mr. Complication is going to have to accept that there are certain people, and certain places, that I don't want to be around … and all the shouting, temper tantrums, hurtful words, and manipulative love bombing tactics are not going to sway me: all that will do is make me angry, and push me further away. I don’t allow anyone to tell me what to do, how to think, what mindset to adopt, and who’s agenda to get behind: I never have, and I never will.

When this cruel behavior started I attributed it to a narcissistic pattern, but it's really more of a fallout from brain injury and lousy parental influences - these are learned behavioral patterns that he allows to piggyback on his disabilities. I have tried to overlook how bad things were because I know he also struggles with work related injuries that cause painful physical flareups; but thinking positively, and wishing and hoping, only goes so far when it continually butts up against the cold reality of unrelenting bullying. The New Life I had hoped for has been strangled to death under the relenting redmill psych ward trauma dramas that have not allowed us a single easy breath the entire time we've been together as a couple; and there's no chance of a rebirth with sketchy chapters unfolding.

I need to adapt a new way to live in the current circumstances.

That's what I'm engaging in.

I want honest-to-God real changes happening.

I do not want flamboyant gestures to gain my compliance.

I do not want to hear flattering words designed to manipulate.

I do not want road trips full of love bombing that will explode later on at home and totally be undone because the trip was a buttering-up-episode meant to soothe me when he decides to spring a bully tactic on me.

I am d.o.n.e. with all of that.

I have my own stuff to work out. I don't have any more time to waste on  person who thinks being a gentle, genuine caring person, is akin to being "a pussified house pet!" I'm not making any more space for disrespect in my Life. I don't deserve it. I don't want it. I wouldn't allow it anymore.

Yesterday's Blog Posting: I'M NOT LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE; Coalinga-CA: https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/09/im-not-like-everybody-else-coalinga-ca.html

We woke up to rain, followed by thunder & lightning. Holland tried to keep me in bed … but I held firm to my boundaries and wiggled loose.

I'm no longer accepting fickle love bombing maneuvers from my bullying Taurus man.

Rain stated around 3 AM, this morning; it sounds & feels good.
Storm brewing; lightning strike 4 hrs. in the distance, towards Fresno.
Low rumblings in the distance.
The cell is moving closer to us …
Rip Van Winkle Catskill  nine Pin Thunder.
"Rip Van Winkle":
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rip_Van_Winkle)
And the heavens opened. Big time.

While the clouds cried, and the skies rumbled; I pulled a package of hamburger from the freezer, and set a supper plan in motion:

My small galley kitchen.
Yum!
VAL'S SAUCY HAMBURGER AU GRATIN CASSEROLE; Coalinga-CA:
 (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/09/vals-saucy-hamburger-au-gratin.html)

I also noticed that Holland's Bible had been pulled from it's hiding place; not sure what he's up to, but I'm immune to it, whatever [it] is. This is a familiar game move of his to get on my good side. I'm not playing his game anymore.

If - and that's a very chancy if - he is seriously seeking Elohim's help, then I applaud him; he needs help, and he refuses help from me, because accepting help from me would make him a pussified house pet.

I can stand back and let Elohim work this mess out. After all, it is Elohim that paired us together.

Holland tried to love bomb me all day today, but I'm not going there anymore: I'm tired of being hurt.

We ate supper; Holland napped, and I worked some toning exercises. Taking care of the body is just as important as taking care of the soul.