PEACE LIKE A RIVER

May 16th: There are days that everything is coming up roses.

And then … there are days when my daily mantra is, "everything will work out; everything will be fine."

The past 2 days have been mantra days :-(

I'm finding that it doesn't take much for Holland to set flame to whatever goodness is sparking; and cause an inferno. He gets uncomfortable when things are going good between us - and he deliberately upsets the tenuous balance.

I know why he does this. We are engaged in a spiritual warfare; that happens when people get caught up in the vineyard religion - Holland's entire family is caught up in the vineyard religion and the neanderthal he-man {thou shalt not question thy husband's decision} snarkiness sneaks in and gets a grip on him.

I also know that when he stays in that spin cycle, anything I do & everything I say will be grounds for him to start an argument: it's best if I distance myself for awhile before things are said that can't be unsaid: at the boiling point, too much has already been said, and the best way I know to zip my lip … is to grab the keys and go for a drive.

Going for a drive was harder while being a road gypsy because I didn't know the State highway - or the byways, which I prefer.

But here, in WA (and even in OR), it's a different story. Plus, I have friends here, where I can just sit back and unwind for an hour or so.

Yesterday afternoon, I jumped in Betsy and used my MAD $$ to fill her greedy tank before I left the peninsula far behind me for most of the daylight hours: I drove several hours to visit with a family I haven't seen in 18 months. It felt good to escape the battlefield and enjoy companionable convo. When I got back home, it was evening, and silence reigned. Thank the Lord.

Vestal Goodman - 'Til the Storm Passes By': (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSvAmnaQ8X0)

Today, I kept my Thursday get-together in Rosburg - I almost canceled because I know my feelings show on my face, and I didn't want to answer any questions centered around if I'm feeling okay.

No - I'm not: but I will be. I know that Elohim is working things out in Holland's life, and that eventually Holland will decide that it is better and easier to give in to Elohim's Plan than to fight against it.

For me …  I intend to win the challenge Holland is determined to engage in. I may be a military brat, but I do not like living my life in a battlefield environment.

I have decided to go with the flow of peace in my life: I dressed in a sequined top, put a little color on my game face; and went to the weekly get-together.

Valley Bible Church, Rosburg-WA from Ocean Park-WA; 54 min (42.6 mi) via Sandridge Rd, US-101 N and WA-4 E

The Isaacs - Peace Like a River : 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqpPyHc7gB0)

The get-together was fun.

It was a loving environment.

It was enlightening.

It was encouraging.

It was peaceful.

It was welcome sanctuary for 2 hours.

Holland is not a violent man, praise God … but he is an argumentative religious man - meaning he embraces all religions per vineyard teaching; and he focuses on religious doctrines of alpha-male tendencies as taught in the united pentecostal church - this teaching coupled with his muslim friends' total disregard for women causes a great deal of friction between us. These religious doctrines encourage men to control their women. I do not feel the need to be controlled.

I do not like neanderthal men; and until Holland married me, he never showed his cave-man tendencies. I don't like it - and he doesn't like that I don't like it. Hence the battleground atmosphere when he gets on a roll.

Holland told me he was a Christian - he is not displaying Christian behavior.

I am a Christian … and I can be a good wife to a good man (I was a good wife for 44 years); but, I refuse to be subjugated by anyone, for any reason.

I know that nothing happens to me that Elohim is not aware of: if He brought me to it, He will bring me through it.

I know that all things work together for the good of those who love Yeshua Ha'Mashiach, and have been called according to HIs purpose (Romans 8:28).

I know that Elohim moved Heaven and Earth to get Holland and I together; this marriage is a definite 'God thing'.

I know that when this storm passes, Holland will be a better version of himself, and we will be stronger as a couple. Holland really is a good man underneath all that religiosity - I can be a good wife to him, if he can escape the vineyard deathtrap, and let me.

So, when Beckalyn was telling those of us gathered this morning, about a book she has just finished reading … it sounded like something that may help defuse the spiritual warfare flames at home.

Holland has muslim friends & family - Beckalyn gave me this book to read.

When I got home, Holland claimed some time in Betsy - and I cleaned house humming 'peace like a river'; and I worked on a new design while he was gone.

A new pattern & new design.

I intend to win this battle: and the spoils will be handed over to the Lord ;-)