I titled this Blog entry, "Redemption", because Holland went out of his way to get me to the donkeys in Oatman-AZ, before we leave Arizona.
When Holland told me a couple days ago, "this marriage has been over for a long time" - I just emotionally withdrew, and pulled into myself: facing an unknown and uncertain future - love (a feeling I never expected to feel again, and a feeling Holland treacherous cultivated) has nowhere to go. A life tilted - twice now (widowhood, the 1st time; and callously withheld, this time in a power play move); with me wondering if it would ever be righted again. When I did speak, I said, "Okay; if that's the way you want things, I'm not going to fight you anymore about your choice. I am still surrounded by love: my two other Husbands have never abandoned me - they loved me; they love me, still. I will live my life, drawing on their love to help me go forward." Holland looked confused, and asked, "You were married twice?" I said, "No. I was married once, for 44 years; but, I am also the Bride of Christ since 1965 … therefore, I have 2 Husbands. You aren't ready to be a Husband, Holland; you swore you wanted me for your wife … but, you never really wanted to be a Husband, and you have bucked against marriage every day for the past 23 months - I've missed you in my Life, and I will miss you in my Life; but I'll be okay because I am never alone. I am surrounded by a Heavenly Host, and my Husbands' love surrounds me on all sides."
So, I'm pulling back and drawing on the strengths I drew on as a Widow before I became a Wife, again. There’s no more time for other people’s bullshit. When raw grief cracks a person wide open and leaves them helplessly exposed (as Bob's physical death did, in the winter of 2018), I quickly learned what’s worth hard work, what’s worth my depleted emotional energy, and what’s not worth any of my time or energy at all. I am not giving any more of my precious time to a situation Holland has already given up on.
We are still legally married, though Holland has initiated a separation. I'll still be here when he decides to ditch the Redmill caveman mentality; but for the time being, I am unavailable be toyed with: physically (I am not going to be used; by anyone, for any reason) - and emotionally (I am going to protect my internal peace, and give my poor heart a break). He does not get to be rewarded for treating me badly.
My widowing years revealed there’s no room for other people’s bullshit, or trauma drama in my life anymore. It has taught me the importance of focusing on things that really, truly matter. I have learned – up close and personal – how fleeting our time on Earth is; and I am determined to make what little I have been granted, count for all it is worth.
Life is short.
Life can be gone in a heartbeat.
I don’t know what the future holds for me; and I really have no plans at all for how to proceed forward, other than just placing one foot in front of the other and moving forward.
So, that's what I did this morning - I didn't overthink all the ramifications of accepting Holland's offer to take me on a Daytrip to Oatman-AZ: I just packed, and went.
Unquestionably, Mr. Complication is a major complication, and our current situation is a weird reality. But, this weirdness is his {normal}: this weirdness is "the Redmill Way'.
Pat's text; forging new friendships are important - but keeping marital connection lines open, is more important.
Today's Daytrip is a redemptive action; Holland wants to maintain a friendship between us - friendship is workable, if the lines don't get blurred on his end.
Blythe-CA from Fortuna-AZ; 1 hr 45 min (98.5 mi) via US-95 N
Today's Daytrip Plan …
Shaved head contemplation ;-)
Holland had planned this Oatman-AZ Daytrip to travel a new route: he had never been this way before, either. Normally, he would have gone via the Havasu route, but we've driven through Havasu City many, many times - and since this is my BD month, he planned something new.
Castle Rock Mountain-AZ; we had visited the Castle Dome Mines Ghost Town, there - under that large domed rock.
The Bug Station was closed - one less detainment along the route. YAY!
When we drove through Quartzsite-AZ, on our way to Blythe-CA, we both noticed, and commented, that there doesn't appear to be that many snowbirds flocking to the BLM land sites (Bureau of Land Management) - there were very few set-ups: it looked like a ghost town, compared to how it usually looks. Normally, by this time of year, RV's are so jam-packed, bare land is hardly visible.
Passing through Blythe-CA, trying to locate the tie-in road needed to reach Hwy #95-CA (GPS was being a putz & misdirecting us), we unfolded the paper map … I gave Holland the directions according to the Map, and he didn't think that was right; so, he pulled over - read the Map himself, and pulled back out on the roadway to continue forward. When he spotted Road #6 (that I had told him about), he said, "Huh; you were right, after all …"
So, I laughed and asked him repeat that statement twice more ;-)
Fields of cotton everywhere; Blythe-CA
Trying to locate the road we need to tie into Hwy. #95-CA
Paper Map employed.
Affirmation sounds SO GOOD ;-)
GPS is easily confused - and to be fair … we are all on a route none of us have ever been on, before.
We passed through Indian Reservation Land, located in San Bernardino County: Holland says this is the largest county in CA (with 20,105 square miles) - the county's surrounding counties include Inyo to the north, Kern and Los Angeles to the west, Orange and Riverside to the south, and Nevada and Arizona to the east. Holland has lived in & worked in every part of San Bernardino County … though this part, is new to him; as well as to me. Together, we've been through Needles several times, we've stayed a couple months in Barstow. I always enjoy a week or two, in Barstow ;-)
San Bernardino County is also the largest county in the United States, excluding boroughs in Alaska. It's slightly larger than the states of New Jersey, Connecticut, Delaware, and Rhode Island combined, and is also slightly larger than Switzerland.
We passed through what used to be a thriving little desert town, named Vidal-CA; but there really wasn't much to see - train tracks; a couple of colorfully tagged vacant buildings, that looked to have been empty for a considerable amount of time (1 of them just had 2 walls standing); a motorhome graveyard; what appeared to be the train masters cottage; and a brightly painted house, well-tended to, that I found out was "Wyatt Earp's Cottage" … and yu'all know how excited I get when we stumble upon Old West Memorabilia :-D
Vidal-CA:
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vidal,_California)
Wyatt Earp's Cottage; Vidal-CA:
(https://www.hmdb.org/m.asp?m=78548)
Route #66's popularity led to its downfall: traffic swelled beyond its two-lane capacity, and in 1956 (the era of moi ;-)), legislation created the Interstate Freeway System. Over the course of three decades, five separate interstates bypassed segment after segment of Route #66 - Holland remembers the actual roadway, he tells me story after story of his mother driving back and forth on the original route to visit family members; it was replaced. Holland loves freeway travel; I love backroad travel: today he is "treating me" with a Christmas-BD Roadtrip that will include more Route #66 surprises before we leave here.
Coming into Needles-CA, there were piles of desert dirt and gravel piled up here and there, blown by the wind to where they stand (the wind blows through Needles, like a hurricane); and the color of these piles was a pretty emerald green. Holland says that is the natural color of the rock in this region. It was very pretty. I didn't get a picture of it because I was busy marveling at it. Then, behind that marvelous sight, were piles of red - Holland says these bright colors come from the minerals in the soil.
It was almost like the Spirit of Christmas had blanketed the gritty hills of Needles-CA ;-)
Temperature in Needles-CA
CA makes it pretty impossible to get roadside Route #66 'proofs" :-(
We spotted our first couple donkeys on the outskirts of Oatman: I was so excited!
Oatman-AZ from Blythe-CA; 2 hr 9 min (118.3 mi) via US-95 N
Donkeys! The little baby was a beggar - as soon as we rolled to a stop, he hoofed his little self right over to my window, looking for a handout :-D
He's such a cute furry little beggar … but we had nothing to feed him.
Donkeys everywhere along the road to Oatman.
Getting closer to our goal :-)
The Mining Ghost Town of Oatman-AZ, sits on the old Route #66. The Gold Road Mine opened there in the early 1900's ... and was home to a $10 million find that put the Town on the Map.
Though Oatman became a mining center … it actually got it's name from a teenage girl who was taken captive by marauding Indians - Holland told me this story weeks ago, when he planned the Thanksgiving Roadtrip there, that was postponed until now:
Oatman-AZ Lore~How Oatman Got It's Name: https://www.cedarcityutah.com/opinion/oatman-arizona-day-a-center-of-western-lore-and-lovable-burros/article_ee3c910f-0f52-5e9d-8930-eaf3729b42bc.html & https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/81424/retrobituaries-olive-oatman-pioneer-girl-who-became-marked-woman
The entire entrance into the Town of Oatman had been turned into a Desert Christmas Lane; with tinseled garlands, vintage Christmas Balls, homemade bric-Ã -brac gewgaws … and I Iiked it ;-)
Christmas in the Desert :-D
Oatman-AZ sits at an elevated 2,700 feet, on old Route 66 (Highway #10, Oatman Highway) between Kingman-AZ, and Needles-CA
Christmas decorated Creosote Bush; Oatman-AZ
Elohim is so faithful to me this year's BD month: I have been missing my lighted Christmas Lanes drivebys - and here, in this arid desert wasteland, He provided Christmas color to delight my eyes draped over small, rounded, creosote bushes & the long, pokey, leathery leaves of Agave plants leading to the entrance of Main Street.
Christmas decorated Agave Plant; Oatman-AZ
Route #66 Donkey Crossing notation; Oatman-AZ
Arizona is an open-carry State: we like that!
Main Street; Oatman-AZ
The odor along Main Street was ripe with donkey droppings - but it was fun to watch the donkey's interacting with the people ;-)
I burst out laughing when I read this sign … I am a Gift. I am a diamond in the rough; and, I have a classy ass ;-)
A suckling donkey on a restricted diet, wearing warning stickies.
The mountains around Oatman are rich with gold, silver, and other minerals. At a time when gold was selling for $20 an ounce, miners removed more than $36 million from the mountains. In the late 1800s and early 1900s, Oatman was a booming mining town with more than 10,000 residents, two banks, seven hotels, 20 bars, and a dozen other businesses.
There was so much gold in the mountains around Oatman that another rush—one of the last in the desert—occurred in 1915. This brought with it another influx of prospectors, miners, saloons, and other businesses. A newspaper, the Oatman Miner, was established and the town once again prospered for several years.
In 1921, a fire swept through Oatman, destroying many of the buildings. Miraculously it missed the Oatman Hotel which today is well-known for two reasons: It was where Clark Gable and Carole Lombard spent their wedding night after being married in nearby Kingman on March 18, 1939.
Durlin Hotel~Oatman Hotel-AZ:
(https://www.nps.gov/places/durlin-hotel.htm)
Hotel Sign, now & in past days.
Clark Gable and Carole Lombard: https://carole-and-co.livejournal.com/991199.html
During World War II, however, the federal government needed other metals for the war effort and many of the miners left the area for higher-paying jobs. Some of Oatman’s mines shut down completely while others slowed their operations. In the 1950s, Route 66 was rerouted and the new interstate bypassed Oatman completely.
Mining machinery; Oatman-AZ
Vintage Gas Pumps & a well hand pump for fresh water, between the vintage towers.
Vintage gas pumps interest me, because they weren't boring hunks of metal; and I am old enough to remember my bio-father pumping gas into his vintage vehicles at some of these pumping stations along the highways.
Red Crown Gasoline was originally introduced by the Standard Oil Company in 1892, as a higher quality offering to its customers.
The Standard Oil Company was broken up in 1911, with over 30 different companies splitting apart and being created as a result. When the main Standard Oil Company was broken up, Red Crown Gasoline wasn't withheld by one gasoline chain, rather several of Standard's spin offs gained the rights to sell Red Crown. Some of these chains included - but are not limited to; Standard of Nebraska, Standard of Indiana (later known as Amoco), Sohio, and Standard of California (now known as Chevron) - just to name a few.
Research doesn't reveal exactly happened to Red Crown Gasoline, but the prevalent thread among all internet sources concerning this brand, indicate that the entire brand was dissolved sometime around 1967 … with Standard Oil Of Indiana being the last one to carry it.
We drove over a narrow, snaky road that took us around tight, sharp, hairpin corners along the highs and lows of the Sitgreaves Pass; which eventually led us to the famous Cool Springs Station that held a place in the history of Route #66's heyday … and a cameo in a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie - where it was blown to smithereens; very little of it remained after Hollywood-CA left Oatman-AZ
It was also a want on Holland's Bucket List list ;-)
Our route over Sitgreaves Pass, along Arizona's Route #66: elevation of 3,586 feet, in the Black Mountains of Mohave County, Arizona.
Sitgreaves Pass: (https://barbaragregorich.wordpress.com/2020/03/01/mountain-passes-sitgreaves-pass/)
Very visible mine shaft opening …
The road over Sitgreaves Pass is very narrow, very steep, and very snaky - the people who traveled this original Route #66 roadway in bulky, heavy, elongated nosed vintage cars … with very dim headlights, deserve metals: the very skimpy and widely spaced very low rock & plaster-style {guard rails}, are silly on a road like this one!
This youngster was not happy with us when we arrived - he was very vociferous about his displeasure: I think Betsy's loud diesel motor noise, probably hurt his tender eardrums.
I hiked a bit uphill to get a backwards glimpse of the hell ride we survived ;-)
You can see the distant zig-zag roadway through the mountains, as you look out over the peaky horizon; I like the view.
The top of the hillside was covered with burial tribute mementoes …
When I got back to Holland & Betsy … the noisy youngster was still hanging around - and blocking the passenger door; so, I gently petted him and wondered at his quivering; Holland thinks he may have been mistreated, so was scared. I climbed into Betsy through the passenger door on the driver's side and wiggled into my seat - no small feat for this chubby keenager, hahaha (Keenagers are 55+ persons that embody a youthful spirit & active lifestyle).
This stop was one of Holland's Bucket List "to do's" …
Cool Springs Station; #8275 Oatman Road, Historic Rte 66, Golden Valley, AZ
1920s Route 66 Gas Station: (https://www.route66coolspringsaz.com/history.htm)
Holland says the stone work is the original stone masonry. Cool ;-)
Holland bought a fancy root beer; I walked away with an over-sized Coke, a Route #66 Tee, a Route #66 Shot Glass, & a Route #66 Magnet.
55 Chevy pickup; Cool Springs Station-AZ
Vintage Gas Pumps; I remember the Pegasus pumps were bright red with a white globe globe topper and a red etched flying horse on it's face.
YES! We did ;-)
An then we were heading towards Kingman, where we planned to book a room for the night, stashed our duffel bag ... and drive to Aunt Gaye's, for a nice, long, visit :-)
I like Holland's Aunt.
Coming into Kingman-AZ; wind-blown sand sometimes erases the edges of highways, here.
Kingman-AZ from Oatman-AZ; 49 min (28.6 mi) via Co Hwy 10 & Oatman Hwy
These electric sci-fi looking truck are so ugly! They fascinate Holland, but their androgynous styling just turns me off.
On our way to Aunt Gaye's; Kingman-AZ
We had a fun time with Aunt Gaye - and plan to go back again, while in AZ
When we got back to our motel room, evening was settling on us, and the sunset was pretty.
Sunset; Kingman-AZ
We unwound by watching a movie before slipping off to Dreamland; though we are not playing the 'friends with benefits' game (not being a bitch, just protecting my balancing peace), Holland had planned another redemptive Daytrip for the following day to the Superstition Mountains.
Mr. Complication is a complicated complication.
Despite the weirdness of Life in the present, I am content. Except for the my husband's pig-headed devotion to the Redmill egotistical nonsense concerning marriage, I really do have a good life.
I know Who holds my tomorrows - and eventually Holland will realize that marriage is not a choke collar.
I need space.
And he needs time.
We got back home, here in Fortuna-AZ, before noon the following day; we'll hit the road again, Monday morning :-D
I bought the hoodie in Oatman - basically for the motto; and the black tee in Cool Springs; basically for the same reason - and I mentally sang the song while paying for them ;-)
John Mayer - 1961 'Route 66' Lyrics:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WEBDNKxYb0)
Nat King Cole was the original singer in 1946, but I like this upbeat version better - it's one I know ;-)
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