CROSSING LINES; Imperial Dam Road~Yuma-AZ

November 10th: I've had an Adventurous afternoon, and then came home to do 7 loads of laundry.

I'm tired tonight, but I can still get a condensed Post, posted :-)

This morning's temperature; it was cold when I woke up! I got spoiled waking up to 70- & 80-degree mornings ;-)

I'm done with the verbal warfare - I choose not to engage in angry exchange, anymore.

The ball is in his court … he can cross the line to play to win, or he can punt to stall.

Last evening I was so battle worn, I crossed a line and decided to enlist help for the duration …

This morning, I painted my nails to match my clothing, while the propane tanks were being filled; I haven't been able to do this in a while.

I almost laughed out loud when I read the labels, because I'm pretty sure Holland is in agreement ;-)

Hoping to see the Colorado River, today.

Imperial Dam, Yuma-AZ from Del Pueblo, Yuma-AZ; 44 min (32.5 mi) via US-95 N

Imperial Dam~Yuma, AZ: https://www.iid.com/water/water-transportation-system/colorado-river-facilities/imperial-dam

Pep Talk to myself before leaving the house.

I'm still dealing with taming my own stressors - I don't need more heaped on.

I'm still dealing with the complex post-traumatic stresses of widowhood and the fallout from that: I know I'm not crazy. But when my brain freezes in stressful situations, and I'm made to feel stupid, clumsy, insignificant … the brain freeze causes a deer-in-the-headlights reaction, and I tend to act clueless, frustrated - and sometimes justifiably angry. None of that means me "crazy"; and hearing it said over and over and over again by a narcissistic person putting me in that situation, is driving me out of the house … I don't want to get sucked into Holland's spiritual vortex.

You never really know someone until you share 24/7 with them; living with someone in close quarters is a lot different than dating them and going to separate living quarters :-(

Holland is fighting his own brain freezes too - of a different nature of course, but just as debilitating; he won't allow me to get close enough to help him shake loose … and he won't give his miseries up to allow Elohim take them away and give him peace. His brain freezes have been with him so long that they are, in a twisted way, comfortable to him; and he indulges them with frequent phone calls and texts that encourage the the black mood toying: none of the people he calls and receives calls from, are peaceful people … and the ensuing conversations add more toxic waste into an already bubbling complex situation.

I don't like it: I don't like the fallouts aimed in my direction.

I don't want bitterness to find a home in my heart: I refuse to cross that line.

So, I crossed a line and started to do a little indulging myself, with Daytrips. I first started Solo Lobo Daytripping after Bob's physical death, because home was a painful place to be without my husband in it: I am Solo Lobo Daytripping again … because lately home is a painful place to be with my husband in it.

Ironic, isn't it?

The daytrips relax me, and free my emotions and spirit from the constraints at home. It's liberating to be out from under Holland's self-imposed black cloud. It's liberating to know that I have friends helping me shoulder the burden of heavy-duty spiritual warfare. These Daytrips lighten my mood and give me peace as I enjoy Yeshua's creation - and the knowledge that all of this misery will eventually end: when Elohim is in control, situations get changed for the better.

That's a good feeling: and I'm holding my Sabbath Rest tight, this afternoon.

Our lives are so different, and that's more complication to an already complicated situation.

I'm hanging on because I believe this discord mess is redeemable.

This song's meaning perfectly fit our Life at the moment - the 'stranger' in this song is the Past that needs to be broken with, to gain healing; I've crossed that line, and let mine go - Holland still has not, and it's causing us lot of chaos in both our lives.

Deep Purple Perfect Strangers Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMly6D0nrgA)

The roadway was rough - the desert  wasn't as barren as expected.

Bleu has learned how to get the backseat window open - this was obvious when I pulled over to let him relieve himself!

The Colorado River was a beautiful turquoise color when the sunshine hit it just right.

Bucket List checked … time to get my unruly teenager home ;-)

GPS rerouted me to a shorter back road home …

A lightning-caused fire April 4'21 that burned 2,100+ acres along the Gila River.

Still don't know the Name of this thing (later research didn't enlighten me); Imperial Dam Road~CA

Bleu really is a good boy … he is 15-year now, and is growing up fast ;-)

GPS had me zig-zagging through rural orchards and farmlands; I was blithely enjoying my sunny day traveling over State Route #24, enjoying the scenery with windows wide open … and had no idea that I was in CA!

I had crossed an invisible boundary line over into CA at some point - I was glad when I saw the Yuma Casino sign …

What a Daytrip! I crossed State Lines twice.

Thank The Lord He always assigns my Guardian Angel to stick to me like glue when I leave the driveway ;-)

It was a good day to have a good time - and I kept my cool on the freeway, too.

Holland was in a conciliatory mood when I walked through the front door.

And I received good news :-)

And I got good news from my eldest granddaughter. YAY!

The received attitude … and good news text … is encouraging to my battle-weary spirit :-)