CROSSING LINES; Imperial Dam Road~Yuma-AZ

November 10th: I've had an Adventurous afternoon, and then came home to do 7 loads of laundry.

I'm tired tonight, but I can still get a condensed Post, posted :-)

This morning's temperature; it was cold when I woke up! I got spoiled waking up to 70- & 80-degree mornings ;-)

I'm done with the verbal warfare - I choose not to engage in angry exchange, anymore.

The ball is in his court … he can cross the line to play to win, or he can punt to stall.

Last evening I was so battle worn, I crossed a line and decided to enlist help for the duration …

This morning, I painted my nails to match my clothing, while the propane tanks were being filled; I haven't been able to do this in a while.

I almost laughed out loud when I read the labels, because I'm pretty sure Holland is in agreement ;-)

Hoping to see the Colorado River, today.

Imperial Dam, Yuma-AZ from Del Pueblo, Yuma-AZ; 44 min (32.5 mi) via US-95 N

Imperial Dam~Yuma, AZ: https://www.iid.com/water/water-transportation-system/colorado-river-facilities/imperial-dam

Pep Talk to myself before leaving the house.

I'm still dealing with taming my own stressors - I don't need more heaped on.

I'm still dealing with the complex post-traumatic stresses of widowhood and the fallout from that: I know I'm not crazy. But when my brain freezes in stressful situations, and I'm made to feel stupid, clumsy, insignificant … the brain freeze causes a deer-in-the-headlights reaction, and I tend to act clueless, frustrated - and sometimes justifiably angry. None of that means me "crazy"; and hearing it said over and over and over again by a narcissistic person putting me in that situation, is driving me out of the house … I don't want to get sucked into Holland's spiritual vortex.

You never really know someone until you share 24/7 with them; living with someone in close quarters is a lot different than dating them and going to separate living quarters :-(

Holland is fighting his own brain freezes too - of a different nature of course, but just as debilitating; he won't allow me to get close enough to help him shake loose … and he won't give his miseries up to allow Elohim take them away and give him peace. His brain freezes have been with him so long that they are, in a twisted way, comfortable to him; and he indulges them with frequent phone calls and texts that encourage the the black mood toying: none of the people he calls and receives calls from, are peaceful people … and the ensuing conversations add more toxic waste into an already bubbling complex situation.

I don't like it: I don't like the fallouts aimed in my direction.

I don't want bitterness to find a home in my heart: I refuse to cross that line.

So, I crossed a line and started to do a little indulging myself, with Daytrips. I first started Solo Lobo Daytripping after Bob's physical death, because home was a painful place to be without my husband in it: I am Solo Lobo Daytripping again … because lately home is a painful place to be with my husband in it.

Ironic, isn't it?

The daytrips relax me, and free my emotions and spirit from the constraints at home. It's liberating to be out from under Holland's self-imposed black cloud. It's liberating to know that I have friends helping me shoulder the burden of heavy-duty spiritual warfare. These Daytrips lighten my mood and give me peace as I enjoy Yeshua's creation - and the knowledge that all of this misery will eventually end: when Elohim is in control, situations get changed for the better.

That's a good feeling: and I'm holding my Sabbath Rest tight, this afternoon.

Our lives are so different, and that's more complication to an already complicated situation.

I'm hanging on because I believe this discord mess is redeemable.

This song's meaning perfectly fit our Life at the moment - the 'stranger' in this song is the Past that needs to be broken with, to gain healing; I've crossed that line, and let mine go - Holland still has not, and it's causing us lot of chaos in both our lives.

Deep Purple Perfect Strangers Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMly6D0nrgA)

The roadway was rough - the desert  wasn't as barren as expected.

Bleu has learned how to get the backseat window open - this was obvious when I pulled over to let him relieve himself!

The Colorado River was a beautiful turquoise color when the sunshine hit it just right.

Bucket List checked … time to get my unruly teenager home ;-)

GPS rerouted me to a shorter back road home …

A lightning-caused fire April 4'21 that burned 2,100+ acres along the Gila River.

Still don't know the Name of this thing (later research didn't enlighten me); Imperial Dam Road~CA

Bleu really is a good boy … he is 15-year now, and is growing up fast ;-)

GPS had me zig-zagging through rural orchards and farmlands; I was blithely enjoying my sunny day traveling over State Route #24, enjoying the scenery with windows wide open … and had no idea that I was in CA!

I had crossed an invisible boundary line over into CA at some point - I was glad when I saw the Yuma Casino sign …

What a Daytrip! I crossed State Lines twice.

Thank The Lord He always assigns my Guardian Angel to stick to me like glue when I leave the driveway ;-)

It was a good day to have a good time - and I kept my cool on the freeway, too.

Holland was in a conciliatory mood when I walked through the front door.

And I received good news :-)

And I got good news from my eldest granddaughter. YAY!

The received attitude … and good news text … is encouraging to my battle-weary spirit :-)

IMPERIAL NATIONAL WILDLIFE REFUGE~Yuma-AZ

Imperial National Wildlife Refuge: https://www.fws.gov/refuge/imperial

November 7th: Today I woke up a Plan - I would be striking out on my first solo 4x adventure :-)

I'm married … but currently, I'm not; I'm a wife … but currently, I'm not.

Holland isn't chasing skirt … but he IS a narcissist; and that's hard to live with. Only Elohim can change that, but Holland isn't accepting change from anyone.

Lauren Spencer Smith - 'Narcissist' Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9tJnU9tH7s)

I'm a curious traveler: that I can do.

Adventuring is why I'm now in Arizona: I intend to see Arizona.

The day did not pass in a blur.

I stopped, and took pictures, whenever & wherever I wanted to: there was no rush to get back home.

Solo Lobo today …

Today's adventure destination: Imperial National Wildlife Refuge, Yuma-AZ from Del Pueblo RV Resort, Yuma-AZ; 52 min (40.9 mi) via US-95 N

I'm not a 'sit-at-home-&-cry' gal; I'm a mover and a shaker.

Sir Douglas Quintet - "She's About A Mover":  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqt5G1UDOV8)

I'll be sightseeing & enjoying the Day.

Most of the road was familiar - it was the highway we'd taken from Quartzsite-AZ, to here - Yuma, AZ.

I stopped and gawked at sights I've been curious about, but never got the chance to pull over and contemplate; I was solo lobo today, and I was "wasting time", with no apologies being issued.

I took pictures, and researched them later.

I was in my element … and thoroughly enjoying every minute.

A quick reroute …

McPhaul Bridge: suspension bridge over the Gila River~Yuma.

AZYuma's Bridge To Nowhere: 

(https://azdot.gov/blog-article/yumas-bridge-nowhere)

'Pause, Rest, Worship' Church~Dome Valley, AZ.

Spousal Love Immortalized:  (https://www.azcentral.com/story/news/local/arizona-best-reads/2019/05/12/pause-rest-worship-chapel-highway-outside-yuma-offers-retreat-loren-cecil-pratt/3642615002/)

US Army Proving Grounds~Yuma, AZ

The Imperial National Wildlife Refuge is an Army Corps Recreational Area, and a bit past the Army Proving Grounds sign; the drive along  Martinez Lake Road is new territory.

I like the adventure that comes with new territory :-)

About 10 miles into the newness, I hung a right onto Redcloud Road … and entered a whole new environment.

I love the adrenaline rush of wide-open-spaces freedom and exploration ;-)

Martinez Lake Road from US Army Proving Grounds~Yuma, AZ; 11 min (5.7 mi)

The 'Proving Grounds' air space & hangers; Martinez Lake Road~Yuma, AZ

Fisher's Landing~Yuma, AZ

Boondocking both sides of the highway: I panned quickly because it was hot … this is rattlesnake country, and Bleu was playing Curious George everywhere.

This is nice …

Cattle Guards - they can't be avoided.

A pretty, upgraded, 'adobe'.

I finally found the Refuge, let Bleu out to relieve himself, and I located the Visitor's Center/Museum that was hosted by a very friendly fella full of local information. We touched on a lot of topics that included the present location, where we were from & what brought us here, and I asked a lot of questions about the 'Painted Desert' area I was planning to sight-see.

I was told I might see some wild burro's - and I was hoping: but I never saw them. The original burro's came to America with the Spanish Conquistadors ... later gold miner's used them, and when they didn't make good on thier claims, they just turned them loose in the desert where they enjoyed themselves and grew in numbers. There are supposed to be a herd of 200 on the Refuge, and they have worn  obvious trails through the desert.

We must have talked for at least half an hour - I would have enjoyed talking more, but Bleu was in the truck (no pets allowed inside).

The guy said there was a parking lot with a 'pit toilet' at the Painted Desert Trailhead … and I thought, 'No. I do not want to encounter a rattlesnake in a desert toilet in the middle of nowhere'; so I used the toilet at the Visitor's Center before driving away ;-)

Imperial National Wildlife Refuge from Martinez Lake Road; 16 min (9.7 mi)

Finally made the Wildlife Refuge.

Off blacktop, towards the Visitor's Center.

Visitor's Center Entrance.

No way! 5 mph is too fast on this warped road.

A Time Capsule near the center entrance … I wonder what's in there (railing shadow; sorry).

Wulfenite is found in oxidized areas of lead-bearing deposits throughout Arizona, especially in Pima, La Paz, Maricopa, and Gila counties; Wulfenite is Arizona's State Mineral. Wulfenite is named in honor of Austrian mineralogist Franz Xavier von Wulfen (1728-1805):  (https://www.geologyin.com/2023/04/wulfenite-facts-and-infromation.html)

This finned beluga looking fish is a Humpback Chub; this fish can live up to 30 years in the wild and has genetic traits that keep it stable in turbulent water. This minnow is not considered tasty, and was referred to as a “trash fish” by early settlers. As it grows, the creek chub will travel away from its known territory and engage in aggressive behavior with other members of the species. It will enlarge its mouth and widen its fins as well as head butt others of the species to protect its territory.

Humpback Chub: 

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humpback_chub)

There are 13 species of rattlesnakes in Arizona. More than any other state, so we are in the hot spot for rattlesnakes. March through October is considered rattlesnake season in Arizona.

Rattlesnakes - 5 Ways To Avoid Grim Death:  (https://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/news/rattlesnake-season-in-arizona-five-ways-to-avoid-grim-death-6665218)

Mountain Lions prowl a wide range of Arizona habitats, from Sonoran Desert canyons to Alpine forests; and everywhere in between. A lion's home range in Arizona is up to 150 miles and transient animals may occasionally use state park property to exploit abundant prey.

Mountain Lions: 

(https://www.fs.usda.gov/detail/coronado/recreation/?cid=stelprdb5347377)

The Gila monster is a species of venomous lizard native to the Southwestern United States and the northwestern Mexican state of Sonora. Gila monster venom is about as toxic as that of a western diamondback rattlesnake. However, a relatively small amount of venom is introduced in a Gila bite. Gila monsters may hold onto a predator for more than ten minutes. There is no antivenin for Gila bites.

Gila Monster: 

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gila_monster)

Roadrunner birds are large cuckoos with a distinctive shape. Roadrunners can survive in the desert, outrun a human, and beat rattlesnakes to death. Seldom seen and under-appreciated, they're a bird worth getting to know.

Road Runner Bird:  (https://www.desertmuseum.org/books/nhsd_roadrunner_new.php#:~:text=Distinguishing%20features,15%20mph)%20and%20rarely%20flies.)

The Visitor Center fella was informative as well as friendly.

Jumping Cholla. Yes, a jumping cactus; keep friends, children and pets at least 3 feet away from this plant monster at all times (the 4x tires were maybe 18 inches away).

Sneaky Jumping Cholla. Cactus Attack!: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=379z9-LYu2s & https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD6m8vmH2Lg)

Backtracking from the Visitor's Center, I turned left, onto the 'Painted Desert' road. The desert dust is powdery - like baby powder quality softness, and the gravel has sunk so far into the powder that it's lost it's traction.

I never went over 5 mph. while in 4H during the drive: never more than 5 mph, which was a good thing because the road was terrible wash-board type.

I am going to drive to the Painted Desert Trailhead …

Solo Lobo Adventure.

The desert landscape appeals to me.

Adventure waits for me through that passage …

Very fresh burro 'sign'; they are here. Somewhere.

The desert dust was very fine - and Beast Betsy is very heavy.

A little humor helps in a dicey situation.

Passing this viewpoint up; can't afford riskiness.

I relied on the things Holland had taught me; moved forward.

Burro trails …

My vacant husbands continue to teach me Life Skills ;-)

Arizona's Bush Morning Glory plant is drought tolerant, although it does need some additional water in the desert.

There are no knights in shining armor around these parts …

I kept inching forward - I was afraid to try turning around, off road, in the powdery soft desert landscape. Staying on the rough and mushy roadway seemed to be the best course of action - given the circumstances.

I kept praying the parking lot would show up soon: it did :-)

I had my adventure; but had to break out the inhaler when my lungs started complaining about the kicked up dust.

On my adventure, I saw a few little birds and a couple dragonflies on the wing … but, no burros; wild or otherwise.

I didn't see the river, which was really the whole purpose of choosing this particular sight-see :-(

I saw advertising for ATV rentals - but Holland is being an ass. So, that's that.

I had seen a sign pointing in the general direction of food … so, when I saw it again, I pulled off the road and pulled up the Rio Lobo location (and menu, too), and decided to pass: I want authentic mexican food, not tourist trap crap.

I can make a grilled cheese sandwich at home.

Maybe I'll take a daytrip to the Imperial Dam - I want to see the Colorado River; and if going to the dam is the only way to get that Bucket List check … that's what I'll do ;-)

Nope; passing this viewpoint up, too.

Pulling on every driving memory my husbands have given me.

Deep powder & washboard gravel; not easy travel.

THIS makes it all worthwhile; the painted desert landscape.

Elohim provided an 'Indiana Messenger' ;-)

Bleu was glad to see the parking lot, too. Poor little fella.

1-1/2 mi. round loop; I wanted to so badly, but Bleu was not up to it. It was hot & he has a double-haired coat.

The turning point … decision time.

Curiosity … and stubborn determination; a monkey-jar risk.

Tried to reach Holland … he wasn't answering.

Called it a day, here.

Enough adventurous excitement for the day.

A strange happening with Beast Betsy …

Caught up with the Indiana Messenger.

Thanking Elohim for the men in my life; knowledge.

I had to break out the inhaler … the dust played havoc with my lungs.

Blacktop - HALLELUJAH!

Concentrate on the silver linings of life's black clouds.

Back over the cattle guards …

Holland has been wanting to rent some UTV's - but we aren't talking; so, that's that.

The Colorado River is still a 'want'; maybe the Dam is the answer.

A passing thought; the online menu shelfed that idea.

When I got back home, I mentioned the steering wheel jerk (half the truck belongs to him, too, he has a right to be in the loop), and Holland said it's possible I ran over a rock under all the powder; and that would have made the steering wheel jerk.

I'm hoping that's all it was: we have enough problems to deal with, at the moment.

Now, I'm heading of to bed where the sandman's hearty prods will probably be shrugged off for a bit, when my thoughts get caught up plotting my next adventure ;-)

No reason to stick around is a good reason to GO …