LETS … COVERS A LOT OF GROUND; Castle Rock-WA

I was pretty sick with a queasy stomach, a fever that had me soaked with sweat, chills that had me shaking & quaking, & nausea, in the wee hours of this morning … I was in bad shape, but I didn't think it was serious enough to warrant an ER visit, so Holland checked on me periodically before I got up - and gave me a Free Pass 🎟️💞 for the Day, even making Supper for us; which, thankfully, I managed to keep in my stomach. So, all I've actually done today since waking up, is scroll FB reels - and laugh out loud, nod my head in agreement, and say, "that's truth, alright".

Here are some of the reels that grabbed my attention, got me thinking-laughing-commenting:

😂🤣 Good thing I'm gutsy - as well as spicy 😉

Giving me lots and lots of these shiny things 😁 … will guarantee cashing in on anything he wants from me 😘

I did warn Holland - when he started talking marriage: "I don't think you know what you're asking for. I will make you angry - often. I won't mean to, but it will happen." He said, "I'll risk it." Now, my warning plays in his head 24/7/365; and I try not to remind him that "I said so". Marriage 💕  It's a trip …

It just happens 😉 I wake up bouncy & innocent … and by the end of the Day I'm being told I embody all the power in the galaxy to piss off the entire world 🤔 Superwoman has nothing over me 😂🤣

There are very few people from my Past in my Life, Now.

Some have taken different paths.

Some have heeded The Call.

Some were lured away by worldly distractions.

Some stayed.

Some made me a part of their Family nucleolus.

Some are new-comers: late comers to the Party of My Life.

They didn't know me in my Past - they only know me in this New Chapter of my New Life.

None of these people really know me.

Both groups of people that make up my Tribe, only know the bits and pieces of me that I share; I share truthfully … but I don't share all.

So, when people run with what they think they know about me, try to manage me, make assumptions about me, and try to force me into a labeled box … I will more often, than not, buck against it all & can honestly say, "You don't know me."

Truth.

Bob married me 4 months after our 1st Date. His words to me after positioning me in front of Zane's window, on Commerce & pointing at wedding rings were, "I believe we can make it, Val. I want you to be the mother of my children." I was 17 - he was 24 💍 Bob always felt like Home, to me. We made it, through thick & thin, for 44 years 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

Holland married me 2 months after our 1st Date. His words to me while we were sitting in his truck, drinking coffees at Willow Grove, were: "We're getting married - I waited 35 years for you & thought I had missed you somewhere along the line. The years kept passing. Then, you walked through the door - I knew who you were as soon as I saw you. We're getting married & you'll get used to the thought of me." That was in November; we were married the first week of January 💎 Holland is a tough guy 🤠 … but, with all his sharp edges, he feels like Home, to me. In all those years between Bob's leaving - and Holland's arrival, no other guy interested me - not even a tiny spark; and I was flirted with at the gas station, grocery aisles, Park walks: only Holland was able to get me alongside him. I was 66 - he was 60. And we're going to make it, because there is no one else we'd rather stand beside, fight with, share laughs with, & make memories with 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 We've weathered 1,400 Days out of our hoped for 7,300; the next 5,900 should be a cinch 😉

I was feeling well enough to make supper, when suppertime came around - but Holland insisted that I "rest the whole Day, Baby; I don't want anything to happen to you." I consented because (1) he likes to cook (2) it eases his mind to "take care of" me.

He can make an ordinary thing, extraordinary; this man can cook 👩‍🍳‍  - and I am grateful 👍

I am blessed - and I know it 💖

EFFORT

Effort = that's the game changer.

Words can come out wrong when the mind is a tangled mess.

Promises are made in good faith … but they are often made spur-of-the-moment while wearing rose-colored glasses.

Intentions can quickly go south when Life throws a curve ball.

But Effort - takes effort; action is required for effort. Effort overrides  words, promises, & intentions: effort puts in the action that shows what matters MATTERS ❤️

Effort can be trusted

A JOURNEY OF THE SPIRIT; Shabbat 2024~Ocean Beach-WA

My husband Holland has muslim friends, and family members: I am a Jew. muslims in general, make me nervous … and Holland knew this about me before we married. Since then, I have met Tim & his sister, Arta - and her 2 boys … Tim is a funny guy, and one of Holland's longest lasting friendships; Arta is also a fun person to be around, and her boys are handsome, gracious, and kind young men. But, given the way they are all living, and eating, they are not practicing muslims - Tim and Arta were born in a muslim country, but the boys were born in America, living fully American lifestyles.

My new husband is putting a lot of things, and people, in my Life that I normally would avoid - but ultimately, it is Elohim that has put these things in my Life; so, I will learn what needs to be learned, grow through experiences, and lend myself where necessary.

Last week, I was visiting some friends that I have not seen in about 18 months - last time I saw them was before Holland and I got together, married, and started touring America as Road Gypsies:

We'll be here for a couple of weeks; Ocean Park-WA.

PARPALA ROAD Post: (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2024/05/parpala-roadnaselle-wa.html)

Yesterday I was with my friends again; and one of them mentioned a book she just finished reading, and she said it may be helpful to me - so, it came home with me. I have started reading this book, and so far it promises to be enlightening.

Holland has muslim friends & family - Beckalyn gave me this book to read.

Today is the Sabbath - a 24 hour 'island of rest' for me: a time of joy, good food & wine - one day a week Jews (even Messianic Jews like me) determine to declare a rest from the hustle and bustle around us, and purposefully usher in a truce between ourselves and the world.

I will be peacefully relaxing most of this Day, in acknowledgment of the Prince of Peace/Lord of the Sabbath.

I will be reading more chapters of this testimonial book.

I will be open to understanding - I will never accept muslim hate or terrorism, but I will prayerfully try to embrace those caught up in religious brainwashing, trusting Elohim for their deliverance into true freedom in Yeshua's love poured out on all mankind that will accept it.

I will enjoy the meal my thoughtful husband prepared for me, in advance - creating his own recipes relaxes him, and I am his willing guinea pig: they are always originally delicious :-)

Holland basically prepares all our meals; he enjoys cooking, and he's good at it ;-)

I will be resting in the knowledge of the Ruach HaKo'desh at work.

CROSSING LINES; Imperial Dam Road~Yuma-AZ

November 10th: I've had an Adventurous afternoon, and then came home to do 7 loads of laundry.

I'm tired tonight, but I can still get a condensed Post, posted :-)

This morning's temperature; it was cold when I woke up! I got spoiled waking up to 70- & 80-degree mornings ;-)

I'm done with the verbal warfare - I choose not to engage in angry exchange, anymore.

The ball is in his court … he can cross the line to play to win, or he can punt to stall.

Last evening I was so battle worn, I crossed a line and decided to enlist help for the duration …

This morning, I painted my nails to match my clothing, while the propane tanks were being filled; I haven't been able to do this in a while.

I almost laughed out loud when I read the labels, because I'm pretty sure Holland is in agreement ;-)

Hoping to see the Colorado River, today.

Imperial Dam, Yuma-AZ from Del Pueblo, Yuma-AZ; 44 min (32.5 mi) via US-95 N

Imperial Dam~Yuma, AZ: https://www.iid.com/water/water-transportation-system/colorado-river-facilities/imperial-dam

Pep Talk to myself before leaving the house.

I'm still dealing with taming my own stressors - I don't need more heaped on.

I'm still dealing with the complex post-traumatic stresses of widowhood and the fallout from that: I know I'm not crazy. But when my brain freezes in stressful situations, and I'm made to feel stupid, clumsy, insignificant … the brain freeze causes a deer-in-the-headlights reaction, and I tend to act clueless, frustrated - and sometimes justifiably angry. None of that means me "crazy"; and hearing it said over and over and over again by a narcissistic person putting me in that situation, is driving me out of the house … I don't want to get sucked into Holland's spiritual vortex.

You never really know someone until you share 24/7 with them; living with someone in close quarters is a lot different than dating them and going to separate living quarters :-(

Holland is fighting his own brain freezes too - of a different nature of course, but just as debilitating; he won't allow me to get close enough to help him shake loose … and he won't give his miseries up to allow Elohim take them away and give him peace. His brain freezes have been with him so long that they are, in a twisted way, comfortable to him; and he indulges them with frequent phone calls and texts that encourage the the black mood toying: none of the people he calls and receives calls from, are peaceful people … and the ensuing conversations add more toxic waste into an already bubbling complex situation.

I don't like it: I don't like the fallouts aimed in my direction.

I don't want bitterness to find a home in my heart: I refuse to cross that line.

So, I crossed a line and started to do a little indulging myself, with Daytrips. I first started Solo Lobo Daytripping after Bob's physical death, because home was a painful place to be without my husband in it: I am Solo Lobo Daytripping again … because lately home is a painful place to be with my husband in it.

Ironic, isn't it?

The daytrips relax me, and free my emotions and spirit from the constraints at home. It's liberating to be out from under Holland's self-imposed black cloud. It's liberating to know that I have friends helping me shoulder the burden of heavy-duty spiritual warfare. These Daytrips lighten my mood and give me peace as I enjoy Yeshua's creation - and the knowledge that all of this misery will eventually end: when Elohim is in control, situations get changed for the better.

That's a good feeling: and I'm holding my Sabbath Rest tight, this afternoon.

Our lives are so different, and that's more complication to an already complicated situation.

I'm hanging on because I believe this discord mess is redeemable.

This song's meaning perfectly fit our Life at the moment - the 'stranger' in this song is the Past that needs to be broken with, to gain healing; I've crossed that line, and let mine go - Holland still has not, and it's causing us lot of chaos in both our lives.

Deep Purple Perfect Strangers Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMly6D0nrgA)

The roadway was rough - the desert  wasn't as barren as expected.

Bleu has learned how to get the backseat window open - this was obvious when I pulled over to let him relieve himself!

The Colorado River was a beautiful turquoise color when the sunshine hit it just right.

Bucket List checked … time to get my unruly teenager home ;-)

GPS rerouted me to a shorter back road home …

A lightning-caused fire April 4'21 that burned 2,100+ acres along the Gila River.

Still don't know the Name of this thing (later research didn't enlighten me); Imperial Dam Road~CA

Bleu really is a good boy … he is 15-year now, and is growing up fast ;-)

GPS had me zig-zagging through rural orchards and farmlands; I was blithely enjoying my sunny day traveling over State Route #24, enjoying the scenery with windows wide open … and had no idea that I was in CA!

I had crossed an invisible boundary line over into CA at some point - I was glad when I saw the Yuma Casino sign …

What a Daytrip! I crossed State Lines twice.

Thank The Lord He always assigns my Guardian Angel to stick to me like glue when I leave the driveway ;-)

It was a good day to have a good time - and I kept my cool on the freeway, too.

Holland was in a conciliatory mood when I walked through the front door.

And I received good news :-)

And I got good news from my eldest granddaughter. YAY!

The received attitude … and good news text … is encouraging to my battle-weary spirit :-)