HEARTBREAK IS A REAL KILLER~Ocean Park-WA

Last year I actually experienced this experience twice … once this year; the chest pain always followed stressful interactions with Holland.

All three times I felt like I was having actual heart attacks (I am of "that age" where heart attacks will strike), or severe angina attacks (which I suffer frequently).

All three times, I said "the stress has to end because my heart can't take the elevated emotional pressure of this constant fighting with you." Baby  aspirin is a band-aid "fix" - and it does absolutely nothing to eliminate the stressful situations fighting drags into my life.

Asia The Science Of Heartbreak: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGglw8eAikY)

The only other stressor that ever put pressure on my poor heart was Bob's final death in December of 2018; since making a conscious decision to eliminate ALL stressors in our life following Bob's death and resurrection in 1981 (Drs. didn't know what had caused his death, or why he suddenly came back to life after being coded and loaded up for a ride to the morgue, & I didn't want to chance another hair-raising incident) - I deliberately culled people, situations, or circumstances that would bring or harbor stress in our life. Peace and a tranquil home life was paramount; people and things were secondary if they caused more harm then benefit.

I know there is a medically acknowledged experience appropriately named Heartbreak Syndrome (I researched it when one of the widows in a Widow Group brought it up): IT IS AS REAL and AS POTENT as A HEART ATTACK, because it IS an attack on the heart.

So, I made a conscious decision last night, following yet another rift with my new husband, that I CHOOSE SILENCE until the stupid and nonsensical fighting stops. I can't change the was he was reared, BUT I CAN CHANGE the way I allow that dysfunction to affect MY Life.

I choose Life.

I choose peace against all odds.

My heart muscle is chancy enough; I don't need the excess stress.

I choose silence concerning interactions with my new husband: this choice is not made out of meanness … it is made out of a will to live happily, joyfully, and FULLY the few years I have left to walk this Earth.

Holland has to decide for himself if he will walk those years with me. Beside me. With me. Honoring and respecting me.