INVESTMENT~Woodland-WA

August 14th: Yesterday morning we drove to Astoria for a medical appointment. It didn't go as expected … but I did get some recipes while waiting ;-)

Sour Cream & Onion Biscuit Loaf.

Sweet Onion Brown Butter. 

Then, we drove to Long Beach; again, it didn't go as expected. We spent about 5 minutes on the beach, watching waves - then drove over to David's place and picked up the 2-chair & patio table set we had left with him months ago.

This morning, I was still thinking on yesterday's assessment, when a news feed article caught my attention:

Government Mandated Censorship!

That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

I showered, grabbed my latest read … and headed out the door, telling Holland I needed a walk: " …I don't know how long it will be before I come back; could be 20 minutes - could be hours."

I needed the time away.

I needed to walk.

I had a lot of things to think through.

I needed sunshine on me.

Sunlight boosts a chemical in your brain that gives you more energy, a positive attitude, and keeps your calm and focused.

Aside form kicking the serotonin into high gear, sunlight also generates vitamin D, which is vital for bone health, lower blood pressure (aim to get at least 10 to 30 minutes of midday sunlight – several times a week), disease prevention, and balanced mental health. When exposed to high doses of sunlight, our skin turns cholesterol into Vitamin D; regular sunlight exposure is the most natural and best way to get enough Vitamin D to keep our bodies functioning properly. From March to September is the best time to help your body make Vitamin D from direct sunlight, outdoors.

Optimal Vitamin D synthesis at minimal risk of CMM (skin cancer), falls between 10 AM to 1’noon.

I drove to Willow Grove, next county over; the trail is longer, and it's gravel which is better for walking my body over ;-)

New Read.

Willow Grove Park-WA from Woodland-WA; 38 min (29.0 mi) via I-5 N and WA-432 W

Walking at Willow Grove this morning; Day Plans.

The body has to be moving if one intends to keep moving.

Lifestyle changes need to happen.

I've go to find a way to make lover boy listen …

Loverboy - 'Turn Me Loose' Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnHm4ro_l8s)

The walk did me good on several levels - I did take two 10-minute sit down breaks during the short course, but my lower back needed the breaks; I haven't seriously walked in a year's time. There hasn't been time … and when there was time, there was no place to walk the kinks out.

So, today I indulged my self-care needs: and got boldly determined to make a 30-minute a day walk a necessity for my husband, too.

High Blood Pressure Care Instructions.

Bob's death nearly did me in - Holland's, if he doesn't change his lifestyle, might finish me off.

I like these colorful boulders …

Edema; sometimes I just wanna shake some sense into him!

Get healthy! That's the best 'self worth' you can do.

His need to be {right} is asinine.

He's complex = US is a complex relationship.

Before I left Willow Grove, I called the Indy Way Diner; and was told they were out of liver … and that scrapped my plans for the evening Bible Study I was planning to attend in Kelso following Supper :-(

Then, I called Holland and said we needed to talk when I got back: "It's not a bitching talk, but it's an important talk; which way do you prefer I take on the drive back - freeway or Green Mountain route; both will burn gas either way." Holland said, "For less stress (he knows me), take the mountain drive"; so, that's what I did; and it was a fairly quick drive all things considered. When I got back to Woodland, I suggested we drive to the river to have the talk.

Barbra Streisand - 'Woman In Love' Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI1WcylNEuY)

I opened the convo by saying that I'm seriously concerned about his health issues that he is getting bristly about, and brushing off. "Maybe we should stay in WA through the winter - I know, it will be miserable for both of us, but that doesn't concern me as much as your laissez-faire attitude. Two weeks ago, you told me that your Dr. told you that you have edema starting in your legs and that you need to start walking … you refuse to so that." He said, "When you are in a lot of pain, you don't want to do a whole lot …" I cut in, kinda miffed, "Cut out the BS, Holland! This is serious. Edema is nothing to fool around with - it gets out of control very quickly. Do you want to be six feet under? Because you will be if you don't start walking! You act like no one else besides you has ever felt {real pain} before. I have pain every time I walk! But I walk through it, because I know that if I don't walk to keep things fluid, I will eventually lose the ability to walk more than a few steps without help. Maybe you see your future using a walker, or in a wheel chair … but I don't see that for me. And it doesn't have to go that way for you, either. I'm not asking you to walk a mile or two, Holland - 30 minutes a day will do: you do that much in the grocery store, so you can do that much at the Park up the street. Your heart, and you legs, will thank you for it. And when we get Independence back, I am taking over cooking - no more fatty foods, no more drowning your food is salt, no more eating a pound of meat all by yourself; you need to get your body under control Holland: as well as a change of diet, you need a total lifestyle overhaul - you said last year before we hit the road, that your doctor said you have clogged arteries and wanted you to consider a heart stint … and you mentioned it again two weeks ago: I think you should seriously consider doing that."

I knew I was walking on thin ice: he does not like anyone to question his motives, outright disagree with him, or insist he do anything. And I do all of that. A lot.

The Babys - 'Isn't It Time' Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37rDXBhjIO8)

Him: "When it's your time, it's your time." Me: "I know that; but we don't have to hurry it along. You insist I use my asthma inhaler; and I'm doing it for your peace of mind … now I'm asking you to do this for my peace of mind; I already fought through widowhood once, I don't like the idea of doing it again. Especially if it can be avoided by have those exams." Him: "You worry too much. Besides, you're a strong woman, Baby; you'll be fine." Me: "Yes, I am a strong woman - but I won't {be fine}; even strong people have a breaking point, Holland; and I think you dying without even giving a shot at fully living might be it."

I don't like depending on doctors and hospitals - everyone who knows me knows that, including my husband; so for me to be hounding him about both … had both of us staring at the river for a few minutes, lost in our own thoughts.

I finally said, "I like snuggling you at night; I like waking up to see you next to me; I like the sound of your voice, your laughter … my heart would miss you. Please, Holland, get checked from head to toe. Consider the heart stint, and working with me on the change of diet to get your blood level under control. If not for yourself, then do it for me." He could hear the tears creeping into my voice; he reached out and took my hand into his.

I continued: "When you went into the hospital two years ago - and no one knew what you went in for … Jeff only knew you were in a lot of pain and shouldn't be driving - it scared the hell out of me, Holland! So much so, that when I finally found the phone book and called the hospital, I let the person on the other end of the line believe we had been living together for years - and she gave me more information than she should have to a stranger. But, I was seriously worried Holland. So, I'm flashing my 'Wife Card' around now - I think Elohim gave me to you because He knew I would light a fire under your ass and make you move." He laughed.

I said: "It's not a laughing matter, Holland. You scared me - you are scaring me now. High cholesterol, high blood pressure, and edema, are serious issues; they kill. They need to be reined in, and controlled. You don't know what edema can do when it spirals out of control. I do. I watched Bob be crushed to death - he was already dying, but because his body was shutting down and the edema could not be controlled … both  hospitals on each side of the River, put compression cuffs on his legs to halt the deadly progression, but nothing worked; his entire body blew up like Mark's left leg."

That comment got Holland's attention (Mark is Holland's brother). Holland said, "Mark drinks a lot …" I cut in, "That's true, but edema is a sign that the body is shutting down; you've done your share of hard drinking too, until recently if you recall; and you've abused your body with drugs - hard drugs through the decades - now it's time to pay attention to what your body is telling you. When Bob's body was seriously shutting down, he wasn't allowed any water - not even ice slivers because everyone on the medical staff kept telling us, 'that could kill him'; so by denying him water to quench his thirst, the hospital staff and me in both hospitals, watched edema literally slowly crush him to death. It's not an easy way to go, Holland. Please, get the exams - so we know everything and how to work through the results." He said: "I don't want to know. And a head to toe exam could take weeks, Val; months, years …" I said: "I don't care. You are more important to me than Yuma, or New Mexico, or Texas; I love you - and if that includes Washington, then so be it. I know I said - and I still say, 'I want out of WA State': but I want you, more. Tell you what … you get the exams (and you get to tell everyone how far you want to take the results; you don't have to agree to treatment), and if your Dr. feels you don't need the heart stint immediately, and if you get your blood pressure down by the end of this month, to a level that satisfies your Dr., we'll head South: BUT if by the end of this month your Dr., is still concerned, we stay put in WA until your body starts behaving. Agreed?" He agreed, and we shook hands to seal the deal ;-)

Then, we left the river, and had a "last splurge" moment with DQ Blizzards, before Holland surprised me with a country drive that led to the Grist Mill :-D

We went for a drive after {The Talk}; and ended up here. I have been here, before - Holland hasn't. I liked the way his eyes lit up, and drank it all in, when we dropped over the hill and crossed the bridge ;-)

The Cedar Creek Grist Mill: (https://www.cedarcreekgristmill.org/); 

seeing it, is like entering a time warp.

And we discussed lifestyle changes that will be taking place -  there are only really two that will be very difficult:

Choose farm fresh foods over factory foods; this will be a daily, or near daily thing because Independence's 'fridge is larger than most, but still small on a normal house scale - and though {down south} produce stands are more abundant, 'farm fresh' is seasonal in the PNW.

Move at least 30 minutes a day … gonna be happening; even if I have to nag him into it ;-)

Cut down on simple carbohydrates, especially sugar … working on it.

Stop eating at 7 p.m. … that one is gonna be very hard because Holland is pretty much awake around the clock - and he snacks through the night. Gonna need a lot of prayer to get over this hurdle.

Go to bed at least seven hours before you need to wake up; only Elohim Himself can make this happen.

But the investment (heart, body, and soul) will be worth it.