I don’t care anymore about being nice to offensive people. That season came and went with the arrival of Fall 2019. By the time politicians were showing their horns & forked tails in the Fall of 2020, I was done with bully tactics completely. I am no longer nice to mean-spirited people, and I feel no need to apologize for that awakening.
I've reached my limit with shabby treatment. I am ready to take ‘social distancing’ to new heights, and bug out: waaaay out.
I deserve better.
I will have better: alone or in union - the choice is really up to him now.
I can be kind without being nice.
I've reached my limit with bad behavior.
August 28, 2025 Post~DEALING WITH A NARCISSIST~Self-Care 2025; Ocean Park-WA: https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/08/dealing-with-narcissistself-care-2025.html
High Blood Pressure issue; and he's bitching because I'm suggesting he should cut his salt intake back. "You're not my Mom" …
Bitching about being overweight … then stepping the bitching up when I suggest slimming down the calorie intake. "You're not my Mom" …
Having trouble walking - but bitching because I ask him to cut the alcohol intake back some to ease the gout flareups. "You're not my Mom" …
Coughing, wheezing, and sounding like a cat with a hair ball; and he's bitching because I'm suggesting that any nicotine, in any form, will worsen his COPD symptoms. "You're not my Mom" …
Asking him to do something SIX HOURS AGO - asking because he insists he "the only one" that "can do it right": then he snaps and snaps off with a smart-ass remark, because you snap. "Stop your bitching, you're not my Mom" …
Denied going to ER with him - or even having the exam results shared with me. "It doesn't concern you. You're not my Mom" …
Yep: it's time to relax and do what I can do FOR ME to make MY life simpler and less stress-free. I've raised my kids, with their dismissive smart-aleck attitudes - I don't need, I don't want, nor will I accept a dismissive smart-aleck attitude from a narcissistic husband. He's right - I'm not his Mom 🤨
So, I quit.
I quit "understanding" that I will always be in the wrong, from his point of view.
I quit shouldering a lop-sided load; and the relief was immediate.
I quit overthinking when it was obvious to me that our problems are not my sole responsibility. It takes 2 to make a marriage work … and he's checked out past "me man, you woman".
I quit accepting with hope things that will never change - he has told me repeatedly "I'll never change!": I believe that, now.
I quit verbally sharing because he either tunes me out, changes the topic to whatever's on his mind - thereby dominating the entire conversation, or he totally shuts down the entire conversation by totally disengaging: basically letting me know I am irrelevant - and my voice is not valued.
I quit sharing myself when I began to feel so unseen, so unheard, and so undervalued as to be considered worthless.
So, I quit.
Being a quitter isn't something that comes easy to me; but I am learning that quitting a dead end scenario is sometimes the best route to go.
Elohim sees me.
MiYah - "You Saw Me" Lyrics:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4p7o30FYv0&list=RDH4p7o30FYv0&start_radio=1)
Yeshua walks with me; He hears me. He values my presence. He likes to hear my voice. He shares His heart with mine; we have no secrets between us.
Holland can keep his secrets.
Holland can keep His people.
Holland can keep his [nice] life, separate and self-serving.
I've reached my limit with bad behavior.
I can be kind without being nice. Holland and the redmill bunch are considered nice … but not a one of them are kind people; they can be very brutal, in a nice way of course, in how they treat others.
I, on the other hand, can morph from kind to distancing without all the niceties of dishonesty. Plus, kindness is a hallmark of Biblical standing: kindness is highlighted from Genesis to Revelation - [nice] isn't to be found anywhere in the Scriptures. It's actions are not lauded because it's root cause is dishonesty for self-gratification gaslighting (aka, guile).
I will continue practicing sanity-saving-hibernation for the next 10 months … and longer, if necessary. My husband is a very stubborn man, given to lifetime bad habits and a poisonous crappy attitude handed own to him from generations of toxic, over-bearing neanderthal-minded males, broken-spirited females, & recklessly rebellious/over-indulgent, suicidal siblings & cousins who have never had to shoulder responsibly for behavior ownership. At some point, maturity is required from those claiming adulthood. 60 year old toddlers are ridiculous; and I'm not pandering to pampered brats who would rather plop onto their cushioned asses and scream in temper tantrum mode; rather than stand upright, accept the need for personal growth, and walk forward into adulthood as a healthy person capable of building & enjoying a healthy home environment and nurturing a healthy adult relationship.
Self-care.
Standing Toe Touch~8 to 12 repeats x2
I did a couple exercise sets, I worked some more on the little baby sweaters I am knitting - it’s a simple pattern, so I could veg out while working and just relax without thinking too much 😉
My little project is taking shape …
And, I fried up some liver & onions for supper.
Liver & Onions; light supper.
Beef liver is an excellent source of high-quality protein, B-complex vitamins, and much needed minerals like iron, zinc, and copper: things a body needs to main a healthy balance to work efficiently for you (energy level, immunity benefits, brain function, & red blood cell production) - I am very anemic, so I need to eat liver (beef, lamb, or chicken) as often as possible.
Tonight, my choice is beef 👍 and aside from the onions, I didn't bother with side dishes - there was only me eating, so I kept things simple:
Liver & Onions ~4 servings
Beef Liver, sliced 16 oz * 1/2 tsp. Garlic Salt * 1/4 tsp. Black Pepper, ground * 1/2 tsp. Paprika powder, smoked * 2 Onions, sliced * 2 TBSP. Olive Oil * Paper Towels * 1 Large Skillet * 1 Lrg. Slotted Cooking Spoon * 1 Lrg. Pancake Turner * 1 Large Dinner Plate * Aluminum Foil
1) Blot liver slices with paper towels; sprinkle slices with pepper & paprika.
2) Put 1 TBSP oil in the skillet. Turn heat to medium; add onions & cook about 10 minutes, stirring often.
3) When onions are translucent and browned to your liking; remove them from the skillet to the dinner plate, with a slotted spoon. Cover onions with foil.
4) Pour the remaining oil into the skillet, and add liver slices (in batches if necessary); sprinkling with the garlic salt. Cook about 4 minutes on each side to be well done - or until juices no longer runs red when pierced with fork tines.
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