Always expect the unexpected seems to be my mantra, lately.
Today's unexpected happened when I opened my FB Page and noticed a PM waiting for me: in all honesty, I thought about dismissing it and forgetting I had even read it: I did not want to engage with this person who has caused me so much pain starting in 1991, and reaching unprecedented levels in 2018.
I stared at the message for a good 20 minutes before responding.
This person created a lot of chaotic turmoil in my personal life for 27 years.
This person drove a wedge between my daughter, my granddaughter, & myself - knowing it would hurt me, she did it intentionally … and twisted the knife to cause extra pain.
This person tried to come between my husband & me while he was dying.
This person is not a nice person - and decidedly is not a Christian; in any way, shape, or form - despite how she presents herself to others.
This person delights in rocking the preverbal boat and creating emotional tsunami force upheavals, that leave lifelong wave ripples in their wakes.
This person was allowed a miniscule portion of my day today because our youngest brother has recently died; but, that's as far as she is allowed.
I have forgiven her because she was heavily influenced by her late husband to be a total bitch to me on every level; she wanted to keep peace in her home and in her life, being married to a mean man; but, she did chose that life … she stayed with him knowing he was a black-hearted, mean man to everyone (her, included). She still praises him to anyone that will listen; mostly to strangers who didn't know him, so they don't know she's feeding them a line of delusional bullshit.
When I did respond, I was able to do so with the peace of Christ. And I was thankful for that calmness in my spirit when dealing with her devil - I did not repay evil with evil: I was thankful Yeshua was at my side.
During the entire PM back and forth, I did not hear an apology from her; in anything she said to me, today. Apparently, her "therapy & healing herself" is a very shallow happening: depth would cause serious introspection - which would lead to making things right with those she wronged.
When the convo ended, I was pleasantly surprised that the usual tsunami waves she stirs up did not breach my carefully constructed bulwark walls that hold back evil intentions. By the grace of Almighty God, anger on my end was intentionally low tide, and I could respond to her queries with calmness in my spirit.
(((THANK YOU, YESHUA)))
I have forgiven her: for my sake. For my peace of mind. For wholeness of body, soul, and spirit. For peace in my own home, with my new husband - who, praise be to the Lord, would not have to deal with sketchy fallout; tsunami waves did not score today. I have moved on … but, I no longer want her in my Life on a steady basis, crazily busting into my Life willy-nilly, or squatting in my thoughts rent free: a 15-minute span of time every 6 years is enough.
I can give her that, and stick to my boundary keeping.
I can give her that, and heal anyway.
When the convo finally ended, and before I shut my laptop down, I checked the WA Coastal Tsunami progress to be sure I had been honest in my assumptive reply; the report was good one:
I was happy to relay that bit of news to Holland when he woke and joined me downstairs 😘
Then, I got busy toning my muscles … and cutting 500 calories from my daily intake:
Self-care is imperative - it balances the unexpected.
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