Hi 👋 We're Val & Holland Redmill … living our Life Story as silver-haired Road Gypsies in our 5th wheel RV Home~41 months married & 65,000 miles traveled across America; covered in grace every Day & trying mightily not to lose our sanctification during the bad & ugly times. I post everywhere - about everything: and if what I post can help someone else, I'm glad for the experience. But from sunrise to sunset, we live our Life for US. Trusting Elohim every step of the way.
This is true.
I stopped the cycle with my immediate family & don't miss the drama of my extended family … or my husbands' family dramas.
I learned early on that sometimes it is better to love people from a distance when they surround themselves by chaos.
August 11th: A lot of stuff going on in our Life 🙏
We are both investing in self care activities: physical 🏋️♀️, emotional 🕊️, & spiritual ✝️
Holland is taking care of the provisional 🤠 & upkeep end … I am taking care of the cozy vibe 😘 & the spiritual gatekeeper end. Together, we are guardians building our personal empire 👩❤️💋👨
I started my morning out with coffee & body toning:
The Standing Rear Deltoid exercises primarily target the posterior deltoids, which are located on the back of the shoulder (making up 1/3 of the shoulder, the rear delts are responsible for arm extension and external rotation = think the gesture you make with your hands when you say 'I don't know'); they also work several other muscles in the upper back and shoulders, including the trapezius, rhomboids, infraspinatus, and teres major and minor - working rear deltoids in the female body is crucial for posture, injury prevention, and balanced upper body development. They help counteract rounded shoulders, improve shoulder stability, and enhance overall upper body strength and aesthetics.
The Dumbbell Bent-Over Rows exercises primarily work the latissimus dorsi (largest muscles in your back, responsible for pulling your arms down and back), rhomboids (located between the shoulder blades, these muscles help retract and stabilize the shoulder blades), and trapezius muscles in the back (a large muscle that runs from the base of the skull to the middle of the back, involved in scapular movement and posture = the motions of the shoulder blade (scapula) around the rib cage; these movements are crucial for proper shoulder joint function and overall upper extremity movement), as well as the biceps and rear deltoids. The exercise also engages the core for stabilization and can indirectly work the hamstrings and glutes.
The Side Dumbbell Raises primarily target the middle part of the shoulder muscle; additionally, the exercise can activate the rotator cuff muscles and muscles in the upper back like the rhomboids and serratus anterior, as well as the core muscles for stabilization. By strengthening these muscles, side dumbbell raises can contribute to improved shoulder strength, stability, and a more sculpted appearance.
The Flutter kicks primarily work the lower abdominal muscles, the hip flexors, and obliques (the the sides of the torso). They also engage the quadriceps, hamstrings, and lower back as secondary muscle groups.
The Scissor exercise, also known as scissor kicks, primarily works the core muscles, including the lower abdominal muscles, obliques, and transverse abdominis (the transversus abdominis is the deepest of the abdominal muscles, acting like a natural corset to support the trunk and internal organs. It wraps around the abdomen horizontally, helping to stabilize the spine and pelvis = contributes to good posture, core strength, and efficient movement), as well as the hip flexors and lower body muscles like the quadriceps, adductors, and glutes. It's a dynamic core exercise that also improves hip mobility and can be a good addition to a cardio workout, according to some fitness sites.
The Crunches work only the abdominal muscles: makes them ideal for strengthening your core, which includes your lower back muscles and obliques.
The Back Extension exercises specifically focus on the low back muscles - which help you support, protect, and extend your spinal column and entire back.
Exercises done, I went online to post a recipe … and saw that my knitted afghan had been highlighted for a featured mention on one o the Blogs I frequent 😊
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When Holland woke up we discussed the Kelso gathering coming up on Saturday. Holland has been yo-yoing about attending since Scott died last Wednesday afternoon & Jake informed us that he was holding a family gathering at Bob's in Kelso this coming Saturday.
The decision came to a head this afternoon: we will not be attending. Holland does not want to be anywhere near his Uncle Bob, has been very vociferous about never crossing the threshold of Bob's church building, and has really felt the pressure of Jake's phone call the other day. So, I asked, "Well, I'm not going - I won't know 95% of those people, and those I do know I'd rather not know. But if you feel so strongly about being forced to go, yourself; why are you even going? Considering the rotten things they all have done to you, personally, why would you even go?" He said, "Because Mark asked me & Jake expects it of me." I counted to 10. Then I said, "Is Mark going to do what you ask of him? Of course not, he's going to do what is best for Mark. You don't owe any of those people anything, Holland. You've been snappy for days due to the pressure of being emotionally blackmailed to do something you do not want to do, and it's wearing on us - personally, I'm of the opinion that our peace of mind matters more than they do. You don't need to keep jumping every time one of your dysfunctional family members demand you jump to satisfy their selfish aims. It would be different if the Redmills actually behaved as family, but they don't know the meaning of family. You owe none of them a demanded appearance. And honestly, I'm pretty mad at Jake right now for prodding his mother - as well as you - to do something he knows you both are both loathe to do, purely for selfish reasons. You know you're going to be under immense pressure to mingle with people who have stabbed you repeatedly in the back. Lana is going to be a nervous wreck, trying valiantly to keep herself in check being that close to Bob - God help him if he even looks in her direction or attempts to talk with her; she's a new widow and new widows are pretty emotionally volatile - if he pushes on her thinking her too weak to respond, he'll get what he deserves: a brawl may ensue if there's drinking or smoking going on. You're going to bristle every time Bob opens his mouth. You're going to be fuming at Jake. And you're going to be bringing all that chaotic angst back here … as well as subjecting your compromised lungs to cigarette and pot smoke. I'd really rather you didn't go. You'll take heat for sure, from gossiping mouths that don't know the backstory, but eventually those devils will adjust and get on with their own miserable lives running to raise hell on some poor unsuspecting soul. You don't need to subject yourself to any more of the hellish behaviors Babe - and our Home doesn't need any more aggravation." He nodded before saying, "They'll talk trash if I don't go." I said, "They've been talking trash for decades, and you know that they'll talk trash even if you do go. I'm not worried about how they'll try to damage me; I'm just concerned about your blood pressure once you get among all of them under the same roof. They are trashy people without a conscious or any moral aptitude at all."
So, we are staying home Saturday.
The dead can bury their dead; we are going to get on with living a Life with as much peace in it as possible. We have our own stuff to work through; we don't need, nor do we want theirs to deal with, as well.
AMEN 👏
You have got to protect your peace.
Forgive and release.
Don't let a.n.y.o.n.e. pressure you to keep devils in your life - you have to do what is best for YOUR soul's peace; they are not walking your walk. Their experiences are not yours - and maybe they share the same mean spirit.
If they deliberately create havoc - do not let them gain entrance.
If they deliberately mean ill-will towards you, your spouse, or your children; you are not obligated to invite them into your home's sanctuary - it doesn't matter who they are.
If they use manipulation tactics to force you to bend to their will … you do not have to tolerate that 'soft abuse'.
If they deliberately go out of their way to seek & destroy you, or your loved ones - you do not have to "overlook it, and engage anyways" to "keep familial peace". Oft times your worst enemies are intimate family members.
Yeshua never taught that you have to entertain the devil-spirited.
Holland & I have been engaging in sporadic spiritual battles for 30 months, ever since we got married, and it became clear to me the severe dysfunction I married into. Since coming back to WA State this April, we have had several heated verbal exchanges centered around familial fallout after he spends time in Kelso - I stopped going because my lungs can't handle the smoky atmospheres & the stressful visits result in painful angina flareups; and I really did not appreciate Holland exasperating his COPD, either, with those visits. I have been praying that my husband would distance himself from self-destructive Redmill Crazy Train.
The generalized Christian meaning of a wife as the "keeper of the home" reflects a historical and cultural view of gender roles (my husband is big on gender roles). Understood as Biblical, as well as Historical, [Wife role] is viewed as woman managing household duties and wisely caring for the family (man & woman without children refers to "family" as well). A healthy Christian attitude is that "a godly wife is not merely the heart of the home, but a warrior at its gates" reflects the characteristic complexity of strengthening influence a wife can embody within a Christian household - never above her husband, but wisely strengthening him to carry out his duties to her, and their home environment.
A Wife who is 💯 woman of God gives special attention to the safeguarding of her family from negative influences (physical & spiritual) by diligently secure the sanctity of the Home - in all it's implications. A godly wife is not only a source of love and comfort for her husband … she is also a spiritual warrior, a formidable force who actively defends and champions her Home, reflecting Yeshua's love and Elohim's protective nature; highlighting her God-given strength, resilience, and willingness to stand ground for the well-being of her home and family. In this her husband rests securely, knowing he can fully trust her in the big things (eternal) - as well as the small things (every day life) concerning the kingdom life (private marital empire) they are building together. He knows with confidence that she stands with him, beside him, and has his back at all times, in all things.
Always expect the unexpected seems to be my mantra, lately.
Today's unexpected happened when I opened my FB Page and noticed a PM waiting for me: in all honesty, I thought about dismissing it and forgetting I had even read it: I did not want to engage with this person who has caused me so much pain starting in 1991, and reaching unprecedented levels in 2018.
I stared at the message for a good 20 minutes before responding.
This person created a lot of chaotic turmoil in my personal life for 27 years.
This person drove a wedge between my daughter, my granddaughter, & myself - knowing it would hurt me, she did it intentionally … and twisted the knife to cause extra pain.
This person tried to come between my husband & me while he was dying.
This person is not a nice person - and decidedly is not a Christian; in any way, shape, or form - despite how she presents herself to others.
This person delights in rocking the preverbal boat and creating emotional tsunami force upheavals, that leave lifelong wave ripples in their wakes.
This person was allowed a miniscule portion of my day today because our youngest brother has recently died; but, that's as far as she is allowed.
I have forgiven her because she was heavily influenced by her late husband to be a total bitch to me on every level; she wanted to keep peace in her home and in her life, being married to a mean man; but, she did chose that life … she stayed with him knowing he was a black-hearted, mean man to everyone (her, included). She still praises him to anyone that will listen; mostly to strangers who didn't know him, so they don't know she's feeding them a line of delusional bullshit.
When I did respond, I was able to do so with the peace of Christ. And I was thankful for that calmness in my spirit when dealing with her devil - I did not repay evil with evil: I was thankful Yeshua was at my side.
During the entire PM back and forth, I did not hear an apology from her; in anything she said to me, today. Apparently, her "therapy & healing herself" is a very shallow happening: depth would cause serious introspection - which would lead to making things right with those she wronged.
When the convo ended, I was pleasantly surprised that the usual tsunami waves she stirs up did not breach my carefully constructed bulwark walls that hold back evil intentions. By the grace of Almighty God, anger on my end was intentionally low tide, and I could respond to her queries with calmness in my spirit.
(((THANK YOU, YESHUA)))
I have forgiven her: for my sake. For my peace of mind. For wholeness of body, soul, and spirit. For peace in my own home, with my new husband - who, praise be to the Lord, would not have to deal with sketchy fallout; tsunami waves did not score today. I have moved on … but, I no longer want her in my Life on a steady basis, crazily busting into my Life willy-nilly, or squatting in my thoughts rent free: a 15-minute span of time every 6 years is enough.
I can give her that, and stick to my boundary keeping.
I can give her that, and heal anyway.
When the convo finally ended, and before I shut my laptop down, I checked the WA Coastal Tsunami progress to be sure I had been honest in my assumptive reply; the report was good one:
I was happy to relay that bit of news to Holland when he woke and joined me downstairs 😘
Then, I got busy toning my muscles … and cutting 500 calories from my daily intake:
Self-care is imperative - it balances the unexpected.
Yesterday was my grandson's 11th BD - the last time we saw each other was 5 years ago, today. Because of 1 person's crazy behavior, lives were shattered and dreams went up in smoke.
In years past, I would always cry this time of year: I MISS Azariah … but this year, Holland is in my life - and all the missingness, though still there, is not so painful. And bless his heart, Holland said, "Well, maybe when he gets older he'll look you up. He'll remember the good times with his Grandma, and he'll come looking for you."
My husband is more optimistic than I am concerning this situation.
There is a lot of assumption anger, still simmering in that arena. There is a lot of misplaced bitterness, still harbored in that arena. The bridge that could have led to healing, was spectacularly set ablaze: and the gleeful flamethrower flat out told me that it would never be rebuilt.
When I called to talk to little handsome … she would angrily shut the phone call down.
When I asked for a school picture - the request was denied.
Unwarranted & unjustified hatred towards me shuts out any contact between me & my grandchildren.
But I know I will not be crying anymore - and that is in a large part, due to Elohim, Yeshua, & my new husband's presence in my Life.
Anyone looking (who has no clue at all about what I've lived through before Bob, with Bob, & after Bob) would only see the torn fabric of a messy life. BUT, I KNOW I have a blessed Life despite the messy bits.
I've overcome a LOT.
I've grown in ways I wasn't even aware I needed to grow.
I've come to fully understand "loving from a distance" when it comes to toxic familial relationships.
I learned that it's okay to be ME; without apology.
I learned to embrace - and even at times, enjoy, a solo lobo Life between Bob's absence & Holland's arrival.
My husband doesn't know the full story; but he tries to cheer me up any way he can.
Last year, we drove up the WA Gorge:
THE GORGE-WA~Bucket List Drive: (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2024/07/the-gorge-wabucket-list-drive.html)
This year, we went for a short local drive, & enjoyed a nice visit with David:
SUNDAY DRIVE EXPLORATION~Black Lake, Ilwaco-WA: (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/06/sunday-drive-explorationblack-lake.html)
So, I focus on the blessedness, not the missingness.
And I will lean into the hope my husband spoke about future possibility of seeing my grandson again. Azariah is a direct gifting from Elohim … and I believe the Scripture that says, "So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten" ❤️
My eyes are healing in 2 different ways - spiritually, and physically.
I am distancing myself, and pursuing peace in the spiritual realm.
I am rejoicing in the physical realm.
I had an eye appointment in Longview-WA, this morning.
About a half hour before we were to leave here, in Ocean Park-WA, he started a big fight over morning news broadcasts involving islam in the LA mexican riots - dragging every family member and shifty-eyed friend he has, into the ridiculousness. And of course, I was the handy "hater" he focused venting his bitterness on.
Because he has trouble sleeping, he's up all night long filling his head with media bullshit that frustrates and angers him - and it lingers throughout the following Day; where the TBI kicks in because his mental resistance is weak due to lack of sleep. It's a vicious hamster wheel activity. At this point, any word spoke or action taken has him focusing laser-beam hostility in my direction. And it always boils down to his dysfunctional family and friends network.
In an environment like this, emotional triggered eggshells are always strewn and can't be avoided: they are present, and avoidance of stepping on them at some point, is pretty much impossible.
Most of what he was shouting had no relevance to the media reports: but he saw and heard, muslim references, and that angered him. He has close muslim friends. His nephew married a muslim woman, and they have adult twin sons. He has muslim sympathies that blind him to the realities of people raised in that political environment (islam is more about violent politics, than it is a religious outlook, which is also rooted in violence that ties back to the political aspect).
I have Jewish DNA, as well as Blackfoot native, and Spanish bloodlines; I did not want to hear his loud and discordant sympathies for muslims shown on live footage throwing brick chunks. I did not want to hear his self-righteous verbal darts about "criminal activities need to be shut down", when his own family members are, and have been, involved in like mattered activities … and I for sure did not want to be his handy scapegoat to unload unwarranted anger onto. I did not want to be tagged again, as "hateful!" I needed to be calm so I'd get an accurate reading on my eye exam; I did not want to have lens ordered based on a stressed-out headache/eye reading. So, I just went upstairs and made the bed while he raved on. It helped a little, to be busy.
Before the morning's verbal explosion, we had planned to visit his cousin Crystal in Ryderwood-WA; then come back to Ocean Park the long route - over Wildwood Drive hill, through Pe Ell & Raymond-WA. I had a book I planned on leaving with Crystal, knowing she'd enjoy the read. I have hung onto this book for 18 months, trying just as long to place it in her hands. Today, was the agreed Day, to do that.
As we passed over the Astoria-Megler Bridge, the tide was low - and I was able to get a good picture of the pilings on a sand bar in the middle of the river:
The Columbia’s Fishing Horses Article: These days, the rotting pilings that sit in the middle of the Columbia River don’t seem like much at first glance. But they are the remnants of a booming cannery industry.
Near the old Desdemona Sands Lighthouse, they were considered home for teams of horses that helped fishermen catch salmon along the river.
Commercial horse seining on the Columbia River played a vital role in the area’s economy from the 1890s through the 1940s. When the river was in full swing, dozens of men would gather near Desdemona Sands and Sand Island to collect the bounty of salmon that awaited them.
Seine fishing involves a special type of net — a seine — that hangs vertically in the water. Its bottom edge is held down by weights. The top of the net is held up by floats. The net is laid out in a U shape around schools of fish.
On the Columbia, the nets were extremely heavy. There was a 16 ounce weight tied to every foot or two of net. Fishermen would typically use between 300 to 400 fathoms — or 1,800 to 2,400 feet — of net in the water at any given time. They were so heavy that the fishermen couldn’t haul them up themselves so they turned to horsepower instead.
Along with providing bunkhouses for people to sleep and eat, the pilings we see today also supported horse barns floating in the water that could hold over a dozen horses. Enormous Clydesdales or Percherons would pull a seine next to fishermen wearing waders up to their chests.
The fishermen would fish with seines only when the water was low enough that they would be able to bring the horses in the sand. If the water got up to their chests and stomachs, they would lose all their pulling power so it had to be slack enough that they could use the horses’ strength.
Two seining skiffs were required for each net. Typically three or four men worked on each boat. Sometimes up to eight fishermen could be working alongside three teams of horses to bring in such monstrous seines. A 400 fathom net could bring in between 4 and 5 tons of salmon. The seining season only lasted from the beginning of June until the end of August so it was a clever way to bring in as many fish as possible within that period. Out of the 27 million pounds of salmon that were harvested from the river every year during this time, around 6 million of that was the product of horse seining.
Many of the fishermen loved working around the horses and got to know their personalities over the years, since they would use the same animals each season. They worked tirelessly for six days a week, with Sunday as their only day off. Local college students would return home for the summer and work on the seining grounds to pay off their tuition for the next year.
As time went on, Oregon and Washington state both began imposing restrictions on the kind of fishing that could take place on the Columbia. Seining was officially outlawed in 1934 in Washington and 1948 in Oregon.
The drive to Longview was blessedly quiet. I put my headphones on, closed my eyes and tuned everything out after I got a picture of the pilings.
When we got to Dr. Tack's office, the eye exam went very well - one thing did concern me though, and I'm not sure I will continue with this eye doctor: they are now using a digital holographic simulator eye exam headpiece, "with a blue ghost to guide you" … I'm not comfortable with that.
BUT, I was very happy, and very comfortable being told that my eyes are "doing much better" and that I don't need to order new eyewear. I prayed about an eye healing for years - and now, it appears those prayers are being answered. SO HAPPY!
I exited the Office, and got into Betsy expecting to be headed to Ryderwood … but instead, noticed that Holland was pointing Betsy back across the Columbia River, towards home in Ocean Park. Apparently, he was set on continuing his fight. I asked, "Are you serious? Are you really going to do this?" He huffed, "Yeah. I am. You nixed the visit in Kelso, so now there won't be any visiting with anyone." The 2 hour drive back was not a pleasant one, and the atmosphere had a very distinctive angry blue hue, to it, as a 2 hour fight over Holland's "family & friends" continued to dominate any and all convo - ending with a ban between any of his family members & myself.
I'm actually okay with that declaration; aside from a small handful of his family members, the rest could drop off the face of the earth, and they wouldn't be missed.
I'm sick to death of this constant fighting over people I do not particularly like - and would not have anything to do with if they were not now grafted into my Life via my new husband.
So.
When I we got back to Ocean park, and I got my laptop up and running, I contacted those few "family friends" that I have enjoyed friendships with, and ended those contacts: explaining why the severance was necessary: {{"Holland is insisting I have nothing to do with his family members … so, I'm going to have to let you go. Sorry. And, maybe in some future time, if we are all still walking this Earth, we can make contact again. But for right now, I'm worn out and worn down with the continual barrage of angry words geared towards forcing me into situations with people I do not want to be party to. You know me well enough to know that bullying won't budge me one inch TOWARDS anything, or anyone … but IT WILL CAUSE ME TO DIG MY HEELS IN 🖕 & PULL BACK & AWAY. UnFriending you has nothing to do with you personally ❤️: I just crave peace at this point in my Life 😘" & "I love you - and I'm glad to have met you, your kids, grandkids, and husband - and maybe sometime in the future, we will meet again. But right now, Holland had placed a ban on any contact with his family members. I don't bully very well, and I don't hide emotions on my face very well - so, I'm doing what I can to have peace in my Life and home. UnFriending you has nothing to do with you personally ❤️: I just crave peace at this point in my Life 😘"
EVERYONE: Holland is not a bad guy, but he does have brain injury moments that make Life hard and difficult. He is absolutely fixated on maintaining familial dysfunctions, bad company, & bad behavior patterns … and, I am not; this is causing a lot of friction between us. If I had my way, we would NEVER return back to WA State - but I don't have my way, and we keeping going through this familial and friend nonsense 🤬 every 6 months: it's been 2 years of nonstop angry words and silent treatment when he doesn't get his way. I'm tired.}}
At this point … I'm even UnFriending Holland, and taking much needed [space] from the toxicity he seems to thrive on. Sometimes love isn't enough - especially when the pool is constantly contaminated with poison barbs.
I think [space] from everything and everyone connected to my small patch of Earth, for a while, is what my battle-weary soul needs.
I know I am engaged in a spiritual battle; but I'd really like it it come to an end soon. There are a LOT of elements to this battle that will be hard to gain the victory over, because they are grasped and held onto so tightly 😪
I will never accept wrong as right - and I will never embrace every religion under the sun; I adhere ONLY to Elohim, His Word, the salvation of Yeshua, and the wisdom of the Ruach HaKo'desh = that does not make me a "hater".
I will never accept the vineyard twaddle as authentic Christianity, and I will never trust a muslim … Holland's family and friends circle is rife with both. I did not know this until after we married. I can be kind, and civil - but that's where the buck stops; I have no desire to mingle for several hours, every week. This angers my husband.
I don't like antagonistic environments.
I don't like playing 2nd fiddle to bad influences, shady people, or questionable activity.
I don't tolerate bullying - from anyone; a difference of opinions is fine … but a forcing to comply, will have me digging my heels in and yanking at the hard-held reins.
I crave peace at this time in my Life. It took me a very long time to walk away from bad behaviors geared towards trying to force my hand and put me "in place" (this came from relatives, as well as my kids), and get comfortable with who I am. I found out that most people who come to really know me, actually like me - that was a surprising revelation after decades of being told I was worthless, irrelevant, and "hateful!" I no longer tolerate that from family members, I no longer accept that from my kids … and I flat our refuse to knuckle under to my husband's angry neanderthal behavior.
So, he is insisting I either accept his demands, or we have a parting of the ways in our personal life - and I am agreeing to taking space. I have never lowered my standards, or gave way to shifting ground on morals; and I won't go that route now. I know my worth - I know he's gonna miss me big time when he's sitting in that kitchen in Kelso, drinking homemade moonshine 1 street over, and living like a bachelor in Woodland.
Since Bob passed from this life to Life above the clouds 6-1/2 years ago, I've become a Pro at letting go of people who are either too dimwitted to know my worth … or too damned stupid in letting me go. I don't run after people anymore, and I don't waste time spinning my wheels when it comes to those who let me know I will always be standing on the outskirts of their Life.
Holland needs a real, honest-to-God, "come to Jesus" moment: until that happens, I don't see this marriage becoming a healthy … or united one.
Building a New Life is difficult. There are a lot of starts that fizzle out and go up in smoke.
Embarking on a new marriage journey, following a 44 year marriage has a lot of smokey fizzles; I was used to a settled atmosphere, knowing where I stood with my husband, who I was, and what my purpose was in that life we had built together.
This marriage with Holland is very complex 😟 and daily confusing. This marriage is really pretty new: 29 months old, to be exact. I’m still trying to find where I {fit} - or if I'll ever fit. Do I even want to fit? At this age, is it absolutely imperative that I be in these people's company to keep my marriage healthy? At what cost do we keep our lives separate? I've never been in any relationship that compares with this one I am in, right now 😑
There is no real connection with any of them. On any level. When Holland deems to include me in the visitations, they sit around talking about the Past - a Past I was not part of (thank the Lord!), rehashing incidents I'm better off not knowing about, and competing with victimhood complaints. It's isolating. It's annoying. The remembrances - to my point of view, are hair raising, at times. Overall, it's ridiculously time wasting. There is no real connection with any of them. On any level.
At home, I'm tired of all the 6 week blowouts 🤬 that never seem to solve anything, after the smoke clears. I'm not used to all the shouting, the stonewalling, the angry silences, blatant disrespect, or the poisoned leaves effect. I'm not used to any of the atmospheric chaos 🤠, or the stressful fallout, I've been living with the past 29 months.
I like a quieter, more relaxed vibe 👩❤️💋👨 I like living a life that does not teeter on rebellious adventures, dangerous pursuits, or criminal activity.
Holland and his family thrive on adrenaline rushes - some of the stuff I've heard! I am thankful I didn't know Holland any earlier - and I really wish he'd stop talking about those earlier days, distance himself from the adrenaline junkies, and settle into a more mature lifestyle. NONE of what I've seen or heard is Christian behavior … despite his parents having been in the ministry, his uncle pastoring a family church - and his uncle's daughter hosting Bible Studies, a great nephew being a youth pastor & music leader, or his nephew recently acquiring a pastoral position: n.o.n.e. of these people should be in a ministering position 😳🤔 Nada.
Building a New Life is difficult. Marriage can be challenging - marriage can also be a calling … and I'm beginning to think this marriage is exactly that. So, the other day, when obedience was once more brought into the heated exchange, I said, "I am obeying! I'm still here: trust me, I am in full obedience 😇 in where Elohim wants me to be. Apparently He thinks I'm badass enough to stick it out to the bitter end!"
Today, I worked a little more on my latest WIP (work in progress) ✂️👌, responded to a text from a friend 🙏, & engaged in body toning 🏋️♀️ ; redirecting my mind is a saving grace 😉
Building a New Life is difficult 💞🤦🏻♀️
These past 29 months have been difficult at times 😒😤🙏🙄😭😕🩹
But with Elohim's faithfulness, and Yeshua's healing, hope hovers 🕊️
