FEEDING MY SOUL/Self-Care~2025; Ocean Park-WA

SO good to listen to.

Pioneers of Messianic Worship (2025) | Full Official Documentary: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBQecYkvUy4)

SO much fun to see people I've met and known in my early Messianic Christian Walk - we've all gotten much older as the years passed 😂🤣

The Jesus People movement was fading when I became aware of the Messianic Jews for Jesus movement.

Over time, Bob joined me in the Messianic Walk, & I we met, fellowshipped, and sung with Stuart Dobermann, and Joel Chernoff.

From 1979 I was introduced by friends to the 'Jews for Jesus' movement, and the Messianic Band 'Lamb': I was immediately hooked (I had been praying for music I could relate to). I have listened to, & bought every song Lamb (Joel's band) ever out out: Bob & I met him in person in 2013; when he was a guest speaker/singer at the fellowship we were attending in Vancouver-WA. We met & fellowshipped with Stuart at a home fellowship in Lexington-WA, in 1987; at the time, he was a fledgling songwriter from Nebraska. I was also introduced to the 'Purple Pomegranate' Jewish Folk music, of Haight-Ashbury-CA (no longer operating), which I enjoyed. Stuart's music is sung in many Christian churches - and I spotted his songs in the hymnal at the Oak Point meets - I was glad to see that his songs had finally been put into a collection.

Paul Wilbur, a singer then with the Messianic Band, 'Israel's Hope' was an instrumental singer Bob listened to during his 1981 healing, following his death & resurrection (there are witnesses to this fact, as well as medical documentation on record). Paul's early messianic songs were too frantic for me … but, Bob loved the frenzy.

I had been listening to Marty Goetz's songs every Saturday on televised 'The Jewish Voice' program. Bob started watching with me after he got saved in 1981. And our biker friend Dave Hargrove started joining us in our livingroom, every Saturday: he eventually got saved & left this Earth in 2014, and I will see him again when my ticket to paradise is stamped 😊

Since 1988, Bob & I attended Messianic Fellowships in Portland-OR & Vancouver-OR, pretty exclusively. When Bob was called home beyond the clouds, the winter of 2018, it took me a while to drive myself to the Vancouver fellowship again & I went every Saturday morning until I remarried.

Holland gets nervous around anything Jewish - including me: this is part of the redmill religion paranoia.

BUT, my messianic lifestyle is being brought back into the home environment. For 30 months it has been stopped because Holland would get so furious; he was so fearful of anything Jewish, and accusing me of practicing seventh day aventism, and literally calling me a devil worshipper (his actual words a few minutes ago 😔). Now, I'm just tired of being silenced, & I'm really tired of trying to explain something he does not want to hear - he is determined to believe what he believes; he has been indoctrinated by the redmill religion based on cultic tyranny, and fear to hold him from breaking lose.

Personally, I intend to have peace reigning in the home; I have tried to meet my new husband halfway … but he is only interested in digging his heels in to force the devilish redmill religion. I am no longer going to be bullied, or shut down.

Messianic songs, again, will fill the interior environment.

And Shabbat meals with challah will grace weekend table, again.

I am going to be myself, again … and he can join me, or not: the choice is his. But there will be no more fighting with him on this issue. The Home Atmosphere is my decision (Holland has been very clear on male-female roles; I am going to hold him to his role preferences), and I intend to have peace reigning in the home. Our time spent in CA through the next few months should be interesting …

I'm glad I found this documentary; Elohim always provides 😁👌

A GOOD WIFE~Self-Care; Ocean Park-WA

The "house" in this verse can be interpreted metaphorically to represent not just a physical dwelling but also the entire structure of a life, including relationships, reputation, and overall well-being.

August 11th: A lot of stuff going on in our Life 🙏

We are both investing in self care activities: physical 🏋️‍♀️, emotional 🕊️, & spiritual ✝️

Holland is taking care of the provisional 🤠 & upkeep end … I am taking care of the cozy vibe 😘 & the spiritual gatekeeper end. Together, we are guardians building our personal empire 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 

I started my morning out with coffee & body toning:

The Standing Rear Deltoid exercises primarily target the posterior deltoids, which are located on the back of the shoulder (making up 1/3 of the shoulder, the rear delts are responsible for arm extension and external rotation = think the gesture you make with your hands when you say 'I don't know'); they also work several other muscles in the upper back and shoulders, including the trapezius, rhomboids, infraspinatus, and teres major and minor - working rear deltoids in the female body is crucial for posture, injury prevention, and balanced upper body development. They help counteract rounded shoulders, improve shoulder stability, and enhance overall upper body strength and aesthetics.

The Dumbbell Bent-Over Rows exercises primarily work the latissimus dorsi (largest muscles in your back, responsible for pulling your arms down and back), rhomboids (located between the shoulder blades, these muscles help retract and stabilize the shoulder blades), and trapezius muscles in the back (a large muscle that runs from the base of the skull to the middle of the back, involved in scapular movement and posture = the motions of the shoulder blade (scapula) around the rib cage; these movements are crucial for proper shoulder joint function and overall upper extremity movement), as well as the biceps and rear deltoids. The exercise also engages the core for stabilization and can indirectly work the hamstrings and glutes.

The Side Dumbbell Raises primarily target the middle part of the shoulder muscle; additionally, the exercise can activate the rotator cuff muscles and muscles in the upper back like the rhomboids and serratus anterior, as well as the core muscles for stabilization. By strengthening these muscles, side dumbbell raises can contribute to improved shoulder strength, stability, and a more sculpted appearance.

This is only a guide! Go at your own speed; I cut the exercises down to suit my needs (ex.: instead of 5 repetitions = 1 do 1 set & done). I am toning my body, not wanting to look like a female version of The Incredible Hulk. 10 reps may not seem like a lot … but believe me, you feel feel muscles firming up - and you will see toning improvement over time.

The Flutter kicks primarily work the lower abdominal muscles, the hip flexors, and obliques (the the sides of the torso). They also engage the quadriceps, hamstrings, and lower back as secondary muscle groups.

The Scissor exercise, also known as scissor kicks, primarily works the core muscles, including the lower abdominal muscles, obliques, and transverse abdominis (the transversus abdominis is the deepest of the abdominal muscles, acting like a natural corset to support the trunk and internal organs. It wraps around the abdomen horizontally, helping to stabilize the spine and pelvis = contributes to good posture, core strength, and efficient movement), as well as the hip flexors and lower body muscles like the quadriceps, adductors, and glutes. It's a dynamic core exercise that also improves hip mobility and can be a good addition to a cardio workout, according to some fitness sites.

The Crunches work only the abdominal muscles: makes them ideal for strengthening your core, which includes your lower back muscles and obliques.

The Back Extension exercises specifically focus on the low back muscles - which help you support, protect, and extend your spinal column and entire back.

Exercises done, I went online to post a recipe … and saw that my knitted afghan had been highlighted for a featured mention on one o the Blogs I frequent 😊

MOD Knitted Afghan was featured on 'Butterflies in The Attic' Blog Hop.

When Holland woke up we discussed the Kelso gathering coming up on Saturday. Holland has been yo-yoing about attending since Scott died last Wednesday afternoon & Jake informed us that he was holding a family gathering at Bob's in Kelso this coming Saturday.

The decision came to a head this afternoon: we will not be attending. Holland does not want to be anywhere near his Uncle Bob, has been very vociferous about never crossing the threshold of Bob's church building, and has really felt the pressure of Jake's phone call the other day. So, I asked, "Well, I'm not going - I won't know 95% of those people, and those I do know I'd rather not know. But if you feel so strongly about being forced to go, yourself; why are you even going? Considering the rotten things they all have done to you, personally, why would you even go?" He said, "Because Mark asked me & Jake expects it of me." I counted to 10. Then I said, "Is Mark going to do what you ask of him? Of course not, he's going to do what is best for Mark. You don't owe any of those people anything, Holland. You've been snappy for days due to the pressure of being emotionally blackmailed to do something you do not want to do, and it's wearing on us - personally, I'm of the opinion that our peace of mind matters more than they do. You don't need to keep jumping every time one of your dysfunctional family members demand you jump to satisfy their selfish aims. It would be different if the Redmills actually behaved as family, but they don't know the meaning of family. You owe none of them a demanded appearance. And honestly, I'm pretty mad at Jake right now for prodding his mother - as well as you - to do something he knows you both are both loathe to do, purely for selfish reasons. You know you're going to be under immense pressure to mingle with people who have stabbed you repeatedly in the back. Lana is going to be a nervous wreck, trying valiantly to keep herself in check being that close to Bob - God help him if he even looks in her direction or attempts to talk with her; she's a new widow and new widows are pretty emotionally volatile - if he pushes on her thinking her too weak to respond, he'll get what he deserves: a brawl may ensue if there's drinking or smoking going on. You're going to bristle every time Bob opens his mouth. You're going to be fuming at Jake. And you're going to be bringing all that chaotic angst back here … as well as subjecting your compromised lungs to cigarette and pot smoke. I'd really rather you didn't go. You'll take heat for sure, from gossiping mouths that don't know the backstory, but eventually those devils will adjust and get on with their own miserable lives running to raise hell on some poor unsuspecting soul. You don't need to subject yourself to any more of the hellish behaviors Babe - and our Home doesn't need any more aggravation." He nodded before saying, "They'll talk trash if I don't go." I said, "They've been talking trash for decades, and you know that they'll talk trash even if you do go. I'm not worried about how they'll try to damage me; I'm just concerned about your blood pressure once you get among all of them under the same roof. They are trashy people without a conscious or any moral aptitude at all."

So, we are staying home Saturday.

The dead can bury their dead; we are going to get on with living a Life with as much peace in it as possible. We have our own stuff to work through; we don't need, nor do we want theirs to deal with, as well.

Some people you just need to set firm boundaries with. And let Elohim deal with them.

AMEN 👏

You have got to protect your peace.

Forgive and release.

Don't let a.n.y.o.n.e. pressure you to keep devils in your life - you have to do what is best for YOUR soul's peace; they are not walking your walk. Their experiences are not yours - and maybe they share the same mean spirit.

If they deliberately create havoc - do not let them gain entrance.

If they deliberately mean ill-will towards you, your spouse, or your children; you are not obligated to invite them into your home's sanctuary - it doesn't matter who they are.

If they use manipulation tactics to force you to bend to their will … you do not have to tolerate that 'soft abuse'.

If they deliberately go out of their way to seek & destroy you, or your loved ones - you do not have to "overlook it, and engage anyways" to "keep familial peace". Oft times your worst enemies are intimate family members.

Yeshua never taught that you have to entertain the devil-spirited.

Holland & I have been engaging in sporadic spiritual battles for 30 months, ever since we got married, and it became clear to me the severe dysfunction I married into. Since coming back to WA State this April, we have had several heated verbal exchanges centered around familial fallout after he spends time in Kelso - I stopped going because my lungs can't handle the smoky atmospheres & the stressful visits result in painful angina flareups; and I really did not appreciate Holland exasperating his COPD, either, with those visits. I have been praying that my husband would distance himself from self-destructive Redmill Crazy Train.

The generalized Christian meaning of a wife as the "keeper of the home" reflects a historical and cultural view of gender roles (my husband is big on gender roles). Understood as Biblical, as well as Historical, [Wife role] is viewed as woman managing household duties and wisely caring for the family (man & woman without children refers to "family" as well). A healthy Christian attitude is that "a godly wife is not merely the heart of the home, but a warrior at its gates" reflects the characteristic complexity of strengthening influence a wife can embody within a Christian household - never above her husband, but wisely strengthening him to carry out his duties to her, and their home environment.

A Wife who is 💯 woman of God gives special attention to the safeguarding of her family from negative influences (physical & spiritual) by diligently secure the sanctity of the Home - in all it's implications. A godly wife is not only a source of love and comfort for her husband … she is also a spiritual warrior, a formidable force who actively defends and champions her Home, reflecting Yeshua's love and Elohim's protective nature; highlighting her God-given strength, resilience, and willingness to stand ground for the well-being of her home and family. In this her husband rests securely, knowing he can fully trust her in the big things (eternal) - as well as the small things (every day life) concerning the kingdom life (private marital empire) they are building together. He knows with confidence that she stands with him, beside him, and has his back at all times, in all things.

Proverbs 18:22: “The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.” The meaning of this proverb is that whoever is blessed enough to understand that every good gift is given by God … and the greatest treasure a man can have is his Wife.

OUR CASTLE~Our Sactuary Home; Ocean Park-WA

["I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" — John 16:33]

When Yeshua greeted His disciples, saying, "Peace be with you" … it was more of a command than a promise. Peace in the literal sense of the word, is not just serenity, but a forced removal of anything that rattles or disturbs us. It’s not just a state of mind, but the removal of chaos, confusion and anxiety. Yeshua was commanding the removal of anything that would cause upheaval in their lives and thus hinder them from serving and obeying Him, with a focused and settled heart.

I can live quite well without drama the need for independence thrives on. I can go from 'Couple' to 'Solo Lobo' in a heartbeat. Holland has found he doesn't like the fallout his self-serving demands created.

Personally, I have always had a settled, peaceful home environment … that was the environment with my 1st husband; and that is my intent in this home, with my now husband, Holland: my husbands are Kings in our homes.

Some of the issues Holland and I have struggled with in our early marriage days had primarily been with domesticity: Holland was a bachelor for decades before joining is life with mine … and while he had  told me early on, "the house is your domain - you are Queen, there" … it took him a while to grant me FULL Queen privilege's 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

FULL Queen privilege's apply to ALL aspects of the home environment: due to the highly dysfunctional testosterone-driven family he grew up in, Holland didn't understand the Married Empire concept, and stubbornly fought against comprehending the changes 😳😡 that came with installing a Queen in his Kingly realm.

Independent & married don't mix - you're one or the other, but you can't be both.

Most of the changes came with the company he had kept before he decided to keep me; one of those people never accepted me into Holland's life … and I, in turn, did not want that miserable person in our home, mucking up our peaceful vibes with his woman-subjugating rancor. There was a lot of verbal animosity centered around Cal until Holland understood that I will not allow anyone to cross our home's threshold that will drag anything with them that disturbs our home's peaceful vibe.

Our home is our sanctuary. Our home is shared space. Peace needs to reign … and since Holland crowned me 'Queen' and granted me domain reign rights, I intend to have a peaceful environment when it comes to who gets to share breathing space in our kingdom.

Our Home is my husband's kingdom.

There is a comfortable 50-50 roles split.

There is a flexibility to do what needs to be done if the other needs help - like in sickness situations.

Holland shoulders everything else - (I do know the bank balance ;-)) - because Holland has a black and white line concerning male and female roles in a relationship, I don't fight him on his need to shoulder everything outside our home's 4 walls. I'm aware of ALL of it anyway 😉 

But the sanctuary energy belongs to me, to make a comfortable, laid-back home for my King.

Friends (people in our lives that understand WE are US = a unit not too be divided by petty jealousies or outright rancor) are welcome in our sanctuary: knaves and enemies can be met in the public square if an audience is required on either end.

Because I took such a hard line stance with Cal - and with the stranger in the AZ desert that practiced the hoodoo-voodoo-santeria-religion … Holland convinced himself 🤬😟 for about 18 months, that I would never allow anyone into our home's interior.

So, when his brother Mark, drove here to the beach the other day to show off his new car - Holland was antsy about him visiting our private domain. But there was no need for the concern: we have had David over here a couple times. Obviously I'm not a hard-liner with everyone; just troublemakers 😉

WOMAN'S WORK; Ocean Park WA: https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/08/womans-work-ocean-park-wa.html

Anyway, Mark was a welcome as David; the King & Queen were blessed with good vibes, and peace reigned 🤝😊🕊️👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

Righteous Brothers - 'I Just Wanna Make Love To You' song:  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Udyqprq46b0)

LAZY SUNDAY

I was so exhausted last night that I was in bed before 9 PM (the fur-babies had kept me up most of the night, before); Holland stayed up for a bit with the fur-babies. There was train traffic off-and-on throughout the night and morning hours, but it wasn't disruptive. It was actually kinda soothing ;-)

Because I went to bed so early, I was wide awake by 5 A.M. So, I carefully got up so I wouldn't wake Holland - he needs the sleep.

I drank a couple cups of coffee, spent time with Elohim, ran the pups out two or three times, and surfed the internet while Holland's body rested.

After Holland got up … I went back to bed for a bit.

I think this may become a routine. The pups need to relieve themselves in the early morning hours - and once Holland's up, he's up: he needs more sleep than he's been getting. I don't mind getting up with the pups and letting my husband sleep, and then going back to bed for a hour or so - Holland needs at least 2 hours to fully wake up anyway - and he doesn't like a whole lot of activity or chit-chat while he's clearing the cobwebs. This routine will work for everyone ;-)

When I woke up again and rejoined husband and pups, Holland said, "Why don't we just be lazy today; it's Sunday, and we're retired. Let's take a lazy day break. We'll take the dogs down to the river … how about we leave the kennels at home and let them ride in the back cab?" Then seeing my eyes widen: I was thinking that Sonny is not trustworthy yet; Holland said, "You have to let them grow up, Baby. Trust me - they'll be okay." I finally relented, but I insisted we take two beach towels to spread on the cab floor, {just in case}.

And both pups were very good on the way to the river … and on the way back home :-)

The boys were in the back - kenneless - and they were trustworthy: NO messes.

Sonny will be the easy-going one; Bleu is more cautious and territorial.

4-wheeling at Camelot Shore, along the Cowlitz River.

When we got back home, there were two FB posts for me - I'm going to make time to see these friends before we head South ;-)

Ramona's post.

Chrystal's Post; I'll collect the books & visit tomorrow morning.

And … I cooked my first Supper meal on the RV stove. 'What's the big deal', you may be asking yourself. Well - Holland has been doing most of the cooking since we got married five months ago (1) because he likes to cook (2) he likes to BBQ/grill (3) he likes to spoil me. But tonight, I pulled the Wife Card out and waved it around saying, "Just relax. Be lazy this Sunday, and let me spoil you for a change."

I also filled some reusable coffee filter cups: Holland likes the strong stuff. I like flavored coffees ;-)

We were feeling the unhurried newly married vibe. The whole day was a relaxing, peaceful, advertisement of domesticity :-)

Cooking for the first time on this gas stove … Holland normally BBQ's with the smoker-grill.

We are trying one of the Patriot Food packages to see if they are worth the money spent on them; this meal smells good. It was okay - it will do. Next time we will eat only half a package, and I'll add cooked hamburger bits to it.

Filling the reusable coffee filters for the K-Cup Coffee Maker.

Ready for Holland's morning coffee …

Bedtime shattered the peaceful atmosphere.

I had a severe asthma attack a few minutes ago; I seriously thought Holland would watch me suffocate to death on mucus (this is not a pretty sight to see - an asthma attack gives you a swollen face, uncontrollable tears as your body fights to stay alive, strain marks on face & neck from struggling to inhale, a sore throat from the coughing fit WHILE struggling to breath, and eyes that transmit a realization that you are dying).

Holland knew just what to do: he started praying for me; found an inhaler, and made me a strong cup of coffee. I have not had an attack in a looooong time, and I was surprised at this one showing up.

My bridegroom wants me to keep inhalers at hand at all times, now: he pulled his Husband Card out and gently waved it around, saying, "I am your Husband - you promised, of your own free will - to obey me. Obey me in this. I love you, and as much as you want to go Home … you are not going to die on me." He does not want me to be lazy with my attitude about asthma, anymore. So, I guess besides carrying an inhaler in my purse, there will be one in the bedroom/both bathrooms/livingroom/and truck - I do have enough inhalers to do as he says.

BUT … I still trust Elohim (not an inhaler) to keep me alive until He calls me Home beyond the clouds. An inhaler is worthless when I cannot draw air IN. It is Elohim's compassion towards us that opened my throat and lungs to inhale. Someday it will be time to go Home, and that will not happen; and I need Holland to understand that - and be okay with that. To have overwhelming peace when that day arrives.

I love my husband.

I love being married to my best friend.

I love this Chapter of my New Life.

But my ultimate Goal is to get Home: I'd just rather not know my body is dying. I rather Holland not watch my body die.

BOTH DOGS OFF-LEASH~Jones Beach-OR

Yep 👍 My hubby is learning this Married Lesson, too 😂🤣

I showed him this pic on my cousin's Page, and he started laughing. He said, "yeah - that's what happened here, too." 😘

********************

Holland wanted a guard dog - I didn't want a dog at all; been there, done that. I didn't want to be tied down with another dog. I wanted to be free to get up and go whenever I felt like it.

Holland insisted - we compromised.

Holland wanted a full-grown rescue dog - I nixed that idea; I didn't want to deal with someone else's headache, or canine abandonment issues.

Holland kept insisting we {need} a guard dog - we compromised: he finally agreed we could get a puppy ;-)

One puppy became two puppies :-)

Teaching Bleu & Sonny to come to each of our calls - Holland verbal; me, a whistle.

Jones Beach-OR

Furry explorers … Fishing Season 2023 just opened up.

Sometimes they grate in Holland's nerves (the high pitched puppy barking & night-time whining) … and I remind him how much he insisted we "need a guard dog." When I remind him, he looks at the frisky, barking, bundles of lovable fur - and I say, "These fur-babies will grow up to be exactly what you wanted; they will learn to be quieter. They will guard us faithfully because they will know they were raised with love. Puppies grow up to be full-size dogs - you will have your 'guard dog' before this year's end."

By this time next year, Holland will appreciate the compromise ;-)

The boys are learning to get along with each other.

Compromise is a GOOD THING :-)