OUR CASTLE~Our Sactuary Home; Ocean Park-WA

["I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" — John 16:33]

When Yeshua greeted His disciples, saying, "Peace be with you" … it was more of a command than a promise. Peace in the literal sense of the word, is not just serenity, but a forced removal of anything that rattles or disturbs us. It’s not just a state of mind, but the removal of chaos, confusion and anxiety. Yeshua was commanding the removal of anything that would cause upheaval in their lives and thus hinder them from serving and obeying Him, with a focused and settled heart.

I can live quite well without drama the need for independence thrives on. I can go from 'Couple' to 'Solo Lobo' in a heartbeat. Holland has found he doesn't like the fallout his self-serving demands created.

Personally, I have always had a settled, peaceful home environment … that was the environment with my 1st husband; and that is my intent in this home, with my now husband, Holland: my husbands are Kings in our homes.

Some of the issues Holland and I have struggled with in our early marriage days had primarily been with domesticity: Holland was a bachelor for decades before joining is life with mine … and while he had  told me early on, "the house is your domain - you are Queen, there" … it took him a while to grant me FULL Queen privilege's 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

FULL Queen privilege's apply to ALL aspects of the home environment: due to the highly dysfunctional testosterone-driven family he grew up in, Holland didn't understand the Married Empire concept, and stubbornly fought against comprehending the changes 😳😡 that came with installing a Queen in his Kingly realm.

Independent & married don't mix - you're one or the other, but you can't be both.

Most of the changes came with the company he had kept before he decided to keep me; one of those people never accepted me into Holland's life … and I, in turn, did not want that miserable person in our home, mucking up our peaceful vibes with his woman-subjugating rancor. There was a lot of verbal animosity centered around Cal until Holland understood that I will not allow anyone to cross our home's threshold that will drag anything with them that disturbs our home's peaceful vibe.

Our home is our sanctuary. Our home is shared space. Peace needs to reign … and since Holland crowned me 'Queen' and granted me domain reign rights, I intend to have a peaceful environment when it comes to who gets to share breathing space in our kingdom.

Our Home is my husband's kingdom.

There is a comfortable 50-50 roles split.

There is a flexibility to do what needs to be done if the other needs help - like in sickness situations.

Holland shoulders everything else - (I do know the bank balance ;-)) - because Holland has a black and white line concerning male and female roles in a relationship, I don't fight him on his need to shoulder everything outside our home's 4 walls. I'm aware of ALL of it anyway 😉 

But the sanctuary energy belongs to me, to make a comfortable, laid-back home for my King.

Friends (people in our lives that understand WE are US = a unit not too be divided by petty jealousies or outright rancor) are welcome in our sanctuary: knaves and enemies can be met in the public square if an audience is required on either end.

Because I took such a hard line stance with Cal - and with the stranger in the AZ desert that practiced the hoodoo-voodoo-santeria-religion … Holland convinced himself 🤬😟 for about 18 months, that I would never allow anyone into our home's interior.

So, when his brother Mark, drove here to the beach the other day to show off his new car - Holland was antsy about him visiting our private domain. But there was no need for the concern: we have had David over here a couple times. Obviously I'm not a hard-liner with everyone; just troublemakers 😉

WOMAN'S WORK; Ocean Park WA: https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/08/womans-work-ocean-park-wa.html

Anyway, Mark was a welcome as David; the King & Queen were blessed with good vibes, and peace reigned 🤝😊🕊️👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

Righteous Brothers - 'I Just Wanna Make Love To You' song:  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Udyqprq46b0)

A MAN'S SUPERPOWER IS THE ESSENCE OF SAFETY

Yep.

I'm not a tea teetotaler; limp-wristed, man bun [dudes] aren't for me.

I'm a straight-up whisky tornado in a tea cup: it takes a man with gumption and a streak of challenge running through his veins, to tame me 😉😘

The Red Clay Strays - "Wondering Why" song:  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhcMmaUPtrk)

Compatibility isn't about "sameness" … it's about {alignment}.

BE KIND WITH YOUR LOVED ONES

I was born and raised with a military mindset - life is fleeting, and "last days spent together" comes sooner than expected.

I've lived my whole life making sure that intimate family and friend KNOW they are loved: every second of every day - especially when leaving my home … because a return, is not guaranteed.

Life is short.

Time is precious.

Forgive often, and love always 😘

IT TAKES SOMEONE SPECIAL; Quartzsite-AZ

I've only opened my life to 2 men: Bob and Holland ~ each fitting my life completely, in two totally different scenarios. I loved Bob while he walked this Earth with me for 44 years. I love Holland as equally deep - and I will walk this Earth beside him, for the rest of whatever timeframe of life Elohim grants us.

Marrying a widow is not for the weak hearted man: the new husband knows that he would not be here if the first husband were still this side of Heaven. Thankfully, Holland is a confident man when it comes to our relationship … and a thinking man when it comes to our marital relationship. He is learning that he has to do his part in bringing his 1989 Wife prophecy to fulfilment - it takes a husband to make a wife. 

25 months into our tumultuous marriage (which started off good, then got sidetracked with unknown stressors), I appreciate the effort he is put into keeping our relationship solid - he has never done this before in other relationships.

Marrying a man who has been a bachelor for decades is not for the weak hearted woman: thankfully, I am a strong woman, and can compromise with grace.

We are both learning to bend with our new experiences 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

It takes someone special to initiate that willowy effect 💘

Buddy Guy & Joss Stone - 'Baby You Got What It Takes' song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z46FZkyQnko)

Thank you husband, for the memories that I will always cherish; even the ones that are hard to live makes us, US 😘

HAPPY HEART~Shavua Tov; Ocean Park-WA

I woke up around 3 AM this morning with a rash on my wrist that had me digging at it with my fingernails … so, off my watch came: it has a metal stud used for closure on the watch band - and I am allergic to metal.

I have to be careful with dairy products; but I have to be especially careful with metal contact on my skin. This can make life very dicey. Eyewear has to fit very precisely on the sides of my face, or skin will come off when I remove them for the evening. I can only wear costume jewelry; some metal in the design is okay, if none of it touches my skin. I cannot wear a wedding ring. I have to be careful with clothing that has metal clasps, zippers, or shank closures - this includes footwear. I have to be careful with soaps, shampoos, makeup, perfumes, and adhesive Band-Aids.

Allergic reaction … metal stud closure: I covered the exposed metal with a piece of electricians tape; Holland suggested this, because the tape matches the band color.

Allergic to Metals? 6 Surprising Places They May Lurk: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/are-you-allergic-to-metals-6-surprising-places-they-may-lurk

I don't think the wrist rash would have been so bad if my immune system had not already been fighting allergic reactions from dairy products, and the toxicity of fast foods fare - another reason I want to cook our meals (I can be sure of what goes into my mouth that will affect my body); we ate fast food for 3 months straight while waiting for Independence to be repaired - healthy food is hard to use, when living in a motel for an extended period of time with an outdated microwave and a very small 'fridge.

I am still suffering itching episodes from that - that have the backs of my thighs pretty scratched up due to the infuriating itch that won't go away until the allergy abates (I do lather up with cortisone crème, but it's only a temporary fix that doesn't last). I was hoping to wear shorts when we get to Yuma-AZ, because it will be 110-degrees when we get there … but I can't wear short if my thighs look like a rabid dog attacked the back of my legs.

I recently found out that I am allergic now, to my asthma inhaler.

There is no cure for angina.

There is no cure for asthma.

There is no cure for dairy allergies.

There is no cure for metal allergies.

My body is a mess from the word "go" :-(

If I didn't trust Elohim with my Life, I'd be an anxious basket case of 24/7/365 worry: and that's no way to live. From the time I wake up, to the time I lay my head down at night … I have to trust what Yeshua did on Calvary's hill for me: Elohim has a Plan for my Life. In Him, and His Word, will I trust.

And apologize to my new husband for "being a lemon".

I'm always cautioning Holland against over-protecting me: I can't let other people's (doctor's, husbands, kids, grandkids, friend's) fears and worries trip me up.

Poor Holland; I did warn him about these things - but I don't think he realized how severe they all are. My allergic reactions have severely limited his life enjoyments, also … recipes that call for butter, milk, cream, and eggs taste different when made with substitutes; he is eating them, and not gripping - but I know his tongue misses the richness in flavor that is gone, now. His heart gets a major workout every time I have a severe asthma flareup. He worries about a possible heart attack in motion, when an angina episode kicks up a fuss. He would have liked to have slid a wedding ring onto the third digit of my left hand when we exchanged vows. He gets frustrated because he doesn't think I take these things serious enough.

I do; but I refuse to live in fear.

June 12, 2022 - Shabbat Mt. St. Helens Outing Post:  (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/06/bobs-mountain-shabbat-mt-st-helens.html)

Life is for living … and I intend to l.i.v.e., for as long as Elohim grants me Life.

This year really put him through {the test} in more ways, than one, because I am a walking time bomb, in more ways than one.

Thankfully he's still hanging around, and wanting to make a go of this marriage that has been very challenging from every angle.

Tonight I made a mac and cheese supper using a 4Patriots packaged meal; and I added to it, as usual ;-)

I will use these meals up, because they are here and they cost quite a bit of $$$ - but once they are gone, I will start cooking from scratch; knowing exactly what (and how much of what) is going into my mouth that will affect  my body.

We bought these meals because we had planned on boondocking more than we have been, and this seemed a logical and wise decision given the plans we held then: when they arrived, I had repackaged all the 4Patriots meals we bought last year into servings for a couple, rather a family; breaking down the packages to fit our needs. But the meals are bland and basic ingredients … so, I jazz them up a bit with flavor, color, and immune-building-nutritional additives.

==My JAZZED-UP 4PATRIOTS MAC & CHEESE SUPPER~serves 2 or 3

Half a packaged 4Patriots Mac & Cheese meal * 1-3/4 c. Water * 1-lb ground Beef * 1/2 Red Bell Pepper, diced * 1/4 Red Onion, sliced * 1 tsp. Cajun Seasoning (recipe at end of directions)

1) In a medium-sized cooking pan, brown the ground beef; remove with slotted spoon to a plate lined with paper towels to wick fatty grease.

2) Wipe the cooking pan clean, and add onion and red pepper pieces; cook just enough to soften … but not to mushy stage; remove with slotted spoon to the plate holding the draining beef.

Beef & veggies.

3) To the cooking pan, add the water - and bring to a boil. Stir mac and cheese mixture into boiling water; reduce heat to medium, and cook for 15 minutes - stirring frequently.

4Patriots Mac & Cheese

Mac & Cheese Sauce cooking.

4) Add seasoning, beef and veggies to the cheesy sauce, and cook another 5 minutes; remove from heat, and let stand for 2-3 minutes.

Seasoning added.

Tasty ;-)

Homemade Cajun Seasoning: 2 Tbsp. Paprika * 2 Tbsp. Garlic Powder * 2 Tbsp. dried Oregano leaves * 1 Tbsp. Salt (I used a salt substitute) * 1 Tbsp. Onion Powder * 2 tsp. freshly grnd. Black Pepper * 2 tsp. Cayenne Pepper

Cajun Seasoning blend.

Blend well; place in a spice jar.

After Supper, I went online and found a video of the Messianic fellowship I used to attend - I miss this fellowship; but Holland would never consent to going with me, so I haven't been there since November 2023; before we were married. Winter travel is dicey, and Holland flat-out refused to go, in any season.

Rehoboth Messianic Congregation~Ted Pearce Concert:  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFGxo1oJcHM)

Hezbollah confirms its leader Hassan Nasrallah was killed in an Israeli airstrike: 

https://apnews.com/article/lebanon-israel-hezbollah-airstrikes-28-september-2024-c4751957433ff944c4eb06027885a973

But recently, Holland has said he would attend a Messianic fellowship in Yuma-AZ, when we get there: that makes my heart happy :-)

After the video concert ended, I glanced up … and saw a lovely sunset :-)

Lovely sunset; Ocean Bay Mobile & RV Pak, Ocean Park-WA

Elohim's promise ;-)

I have been blessed with a happy heart all week, long.

**Yesterday's Post: 'PEACE IN THE HOME; Ocean Park-WA': (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2024/09/peace-in-home-ocean-park-wa.html)**

(((OFFENSIVE LANGUAGE WARNING!)))~2 Be Better Podcast

I like this couple.

And worldly language does not offend me.

I'll be posting links & my thoughts, back-to-back in this post to keep the language and context in one place because I think the topics are important, I like the info, and it fits what my husband and I are working through in the moment, at this time in our Life.

Offended people can move along … and people interested, can keep reading :-)

From Doubt To Trust l 2 Be Better Podcast S2 E34:  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7TvZz7ux0k)

I have to admit though, that normally I wouldn't give people like this the time of day (I KNOW how that sounds, but it's still the truth); BUT one day I was curious … so, I gave one of their podcast reels a listen.

And I LIKED what I was hearing.

I was hooked.

And I was thankful I was curious enough to get past the the weirdness.

I am learning through listening to their interactions, how to understand Holland better. Holland comes from a different world than I do - our childhood backgrounds are eerily similar … BUT our emotional, physical, and spiritual hemispheres are WORLDS APART.

Understanding, on my end, is important.

Understanding, on his end, is important.

There is realness coming through in these podcast reels. I like that. I introduced Holland to one of their reels last night, and a good discussion followed; we both liked that.

The calming and healing effect of a 1-minute hug cannot be overstated.

And little acts of kindness done as the dust begins to settle, goes a long way in spanning the gulf of hurt (shrapnel fallout, as well as unintended).

(2) GENDER ROLES: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLQUkwhhAIE)

The MF terminology is banned on our home because I find it highly offensive; that said, I do like the context of the topic in this discussion.

I laughed when I heard this fella describing himself, because this is SO Holland's character; everything is a challenge, and he intends to come out on top.

It took me a while to "get" this about him. While I always appreciated his manliness … his macho-man-masculinity can be a little much at times.

But, I get "it" now. And I can laugh now instead of doing a slow burn.

Holland is a natural Leader; so am I - because I've had to be.

Holland believes in gender roles … me, not so much: he is learning to relax in that area - and let me lend my strength when his pain is off the charts; and I'm learning to step back, and lean into his mindset a little when he needs to be the hero in the Day, and just enjoy the relaxation his mindset affords me. I like that I don't have to always be in survival mode anymore.

It's not about shutting down my own thoughts, or opinions.

It's about being able to being able to relax and not be "ON" all the time.

It's about knowing that whatever decision HE makes … he's going to include ME in the outcome: knowing I can slow my thoughts down because there will be no confusion in the outcome; the outcome will be equally satisfactory because respect will be involved on both sides.

(3) The Sandwich l The Side Piece S2 E11: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4BnnVfBPoc)

The entire first year of our marriage (except the sex part - and the assessment love: there was never any struggles in these areas, thank the Lord ;-)).

BUT there was a LOT to digest here, because we both came with baggage from past experiences and past marriages = my childhood was a hellish experience, and my first marriage was a very happy one: Holland's childhood was a struggle, and his first marriage was a disaster. We both have trust issues. Holland has very strong feelings concerning gender roles; I was raised a free spirit in a bohemian, hippy environment … I don't mind lending my strengths when needed - Holland struggles with that. And I struggle with THAT. I don't mind being pampered by someone who loves me, and I can get used to being a spoiled wife; but I'm not used to sitting on my hands and watching someone fight through physical pain because they feel the need to prove their manhood. Holland also has a lopsided mindset concerning male and female sexual behaviors (like the majority of males on the Redmill side of the family branch basically treat women as sexual toys to be used, discarded, and trash-talked), which is very biased, and that upsets me. My mindset is that there are man sluts just as there are female sluts - and the Redmill family is rife with both: I don't let the males off the hook they whip women with. This caused a lot of verbal sparring between us.

Holland insists on being an alpha-male leader, with a traditional submissive female in his family unit: I don't have issue with that. WHAT I DO take issue with, is that respect is earned rather than a guaranteed expectation - if a man wants to be in the leadership role, he needs to lead responsibly. MPO, is that having a penis does not just naturally catapult someone into the leadership role; the Redmill men feel differently. I am very uncomfortable around men that treat women disrespectfully: Hollands entire male nucleolus (family and friends) is made up of men with lopsided mentalities. That mindset caused issues between Holland and me.

We went through a pretty heavy {onion peeling} marital relationship for a year as we struggled to find a way to live peacefully together, that led to an intense outcome while cooling our heels along the Lewis River, in Woodland-WA this past summer. June and July were not a good months for us: emotionally the marriage was done, the continual warring had taken it's toll. Heart-wise we were still connected, which made the confusing conflicts more confusing. Spiritually, we were quickly tapping out.

It's refreshing to know - and SAY - that Holland and I have satisfactory worked through (talked out, actively listened) our issues and struggles, and we are confidently moving into the future to build a future, together.

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED~Broken Roads Shabbat; Woodland-WA

July 2nd: This morning, we went to see how Independence is coming along; the fella at RV PRO says repairs are still 4 weeks out; the roof is being tended to now, and they are waiting for the axles to arrive.

Independence becoming 'road ready' again, following her broken roads venturing …

Word is, that as soon as the axles arrive (2 weeks from now), "things should move along rather quickly."

We are hoping and praying.

The RV PRO fellas also discovered that there were more damages to be taken care of: some were manufactory snafu's … but the other was the livingroom & upper bedroom walls: we knew that the kitchen wall needed to be restructured and reattached, but the other walls were surprises.

More damages were discovered; basically ALL roads are brokenly treacherous.

Elohim knows - and He will direct the ways we will go.

Basically the whole shebang is being rebuilt; insurance should have totaled Independence - instead they will be forking out the BIG bucks they thought to skip, between assessed repairs costs already agreed to, the additional repair costs recently discovered, and our motel expenses that have been racking up for the past 7 weeks.

For the time being, while we wait: I pray for guidance, Holland researches for the job he is angling for. When disappointment rears it's head, I encourage my husband by hugging him and saying, "Hon, our plans are not always in line with Elohim's Plan - we need to leave a little wiggle room for the Right Plan. Everything works out for the best, in the end."

I know Elohim has everything worked out … and waits for us to line up with His Plan. I recently read something that I shared with Holland because I like to leave personal options open-ended, to allow for Elohim's Plan to redirect if necessary - Holland having been a fishing junkie will understand what I was sharing: "Let your hook always be cast, for in the stream where you least expect it, there will be a fish"  ;-)

We are in agreement to seek Elohim on walking in the steps He has planned for our Life together. We know we are called to ministry - we just don't know how to dove-tail that with the life we are currently living.

But Elohim knows where He wants us to be; and He has everything under control.

Even our personal broken road experiences that brought us together - and keeps us together through the good, the bad, and the ugly moments.

Since we began our life together, Holland has said three times now, "I really hate the cold weather in WA … but I believe God has a Plan for joint ministry in the PNW - maybe not right now, but eventually we will be coming back to WA, permanently … and you will be in the pulpit, in our own church building."

Holland told me this once after we began our road gypsy life; once in Yuma-AZ; and just the other day while waiting for a forward crawl in freeway traffic back to Woodland.

He always tells me this same thing in an apologetic tone, because he knows it will end our road tripping. The other day when he said it, I replied, "Hon, I'm okay with that, if that's Elohim's Plan for us - really, I am. I always want to be where He wants me to be."

I had a dream a couple months ago (in color, which is an indicator more like a vision), that Holland was preaching in a little country church - don't know were, but it was a surety. I told him about it when he woke up.

I'm okay with sinking roots if that is Elohim's Call on our lives.

Holland was raised to be in ministry; that I will be involved in ministry has never been an issue (a prophetic word was spoken over Bob & me in 1988 … Bob fulfilled his ministry many times over; the prophetic word was spoken over me personally, June 2022: verbatim, from a total stranger to the first speaking: so I know it's where my life is headed); I've been waiting for the opening for decades … and throughout this past year, with everything Holland has been putting me through, I honestly considered that Holland would be my "it", ministry, because there has certainly been many "personality conflicts to overcome" ;-)

A verbatim pronouncement of a previous prophetic word over me; spoken June 17th, 2022-WA

And the Ruach HaKo'desh is refining us by using each of us to rub each other's rough edge's smooth (not always an enjoyable process!); but necessary for harmonious ministry.

Rascal Flatts Bless the Broken Road w/Lyrics: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZp6pmgbZyU)

Both of us have already been ordained for ministry purposes; the Ruach HaKo'desh will have to bring us into alignment … and perhaps that will have to be totally overhauled, too, so we can begin to join hands and purpose in harmony: a house divided cannot stand.

Discussing the broken roads that led both of us to each other, as well as the personal prophecies and visions that dove-tail with those broken roads … we know we both have to allow for divine changes to take place in our lives to fulfil the purpose of our merged Life.

A marriage with a hairline fracture is one thing - but a ministry has got to be built on a stable foundation & practically {earthquake safe; no broken roads}, because people will be judgmental people … always looking for juicy gossip tidbits that will shade the Gospel message. It would break my heart if I caused pain to Elohim's heart.

So, if our rambling road gypsy days are coming to a close (and we aren't sure about anything in that regard, yet), I'm okay with setting roots wherever Elohim wants to plant us: His Ways are always the best ways :-)