I understand Sherry's struggle - and I've heard those self-righteous voices that are arrogantly ignorant of the realities of Life: we are loaned our children yes, we carry them in our bodies, we birth them … and we raise them in Christian homes. BUT our children are only on loan - and they have FREE WILL; they will go their own way: and we have to let them go. It is hard. It is hard because we love them with a mother's heart & we do not want them to struggle with life's hardships.
But you know what? Elohim loves them, too; and He sees the end game result of their Life. When we step aside and allow them to struggle - that's when HE steps in and can DO what needs doing in their lives. We also have to remember that we, all of us, are vessels in the hands of our creator. Only the Creator knows the usefulness of each vessel & that usefulness is at His discretion - this may sound harsh, but if we claim to be Bible-believing-Christians, then we have to believe every word in The Word. Our children - whether obedient and faithful; or rebellious and wayward - teach us the love of our Father. Sometimes that love involves discipline, for benefit: some children will learn the disciplinary lesson - some will not. Some children will learn, turn, & accept Life - some will not. We have to remember also, where to FOCUS OUR EYES. This world, and EVERYTHING in it - including our children can & will be used by Lucifer to keep our hearts sorrowing and our eyes on the problem instead of the solution. Yeshua is the solution. Maintaining OUR sanctification, so we finish the race, is our goal.
Since my daughter, at 9 years of age, started her hate campaign - got involved with drugs at age 14 - stormed out of our home at age 16 - tried to end her life at 17 - took up with an abusive boyfriend at age 19 - and gleefully burned the bridge to any hope at all of reconciliation, following her father's death, when she was 43 … I struggled to make sense of the situation. I cried rivers of tears. I prayed until my head ached with the intensity. I held on to hope when my heart threatened to shatter into a million pieces: there were times I thought I'd lose my marbles worrying about her: Where is she? Is she eating? Does she have clothes to wear? Does she have adequate shelter? Is she even still alive? Thank the Lord my husband was my anchor & my walk with Elohim was strong. I never got to the place of hopelessness; I believe I would have withered away if that had happened. She did bless us with 2 much loved grandchildren, and we did offer her shelter (that eventually ended disastrously due to her temper flares) throughout all those years. But it took me a very long time to release the situation and stand by to "watch the salvation of the Lord".
This recording by Sherry also fits:
In the unwanted darkness of a child's betrayal & rejection abandonment, I have grown and gained strength in ways I can appreciate, now.
I've learned that pain has a place, & a purpose in everyone's Life.
I've gained wisdom in the prolonged silence of waiting.
Patience has taken root in the waiting.
I have not heard from Stacey; or been allowed to have any communication at all with my grandchildren since June of 2020. And you know what? I didn't die of heartbreak … I grew in strength because the weight was off my shoulders, and in Elohim's hands, where it always belonged. I started building a Life that didn't hold place anymore for sadness, sorrow, or "what if": I learned to "relax & let God." I love my daughter & I miss her. I love my grandchildren & miss them. But I love Elohim more than the missingness & I KNOW HE loves them MORE than I ever could. I've done my part - now, I have to stand aside & allow Him to do His part. I don't know if I will live long enough to see my daughter or grandchildren, again. And I've learned to be okay with that. Elohim knows. And I've learned to rest in the assurances of Elohim's promises.
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