We both live with borderline trauma every second of every Day π
It's hard π©Ή: it makes living with others hard π - even if there's deep love in the mix π©❤️ππ¨
Thank God that "love covers a multitude of sins" π: ego π, selfishness π€ , anger π‘, spitefulness πΉ … ALL that π eventually gets solved when love fights the trauma battles π
Our trauma triggers are very similar - abandonment π£ (physical, emotional); character assassinations π£️π©; deaths π’ (loved ones, close friends) … Holland can shut his thoughts off & pull into himself when life in his moment, get sketchy. He can also be verbally explosive π€¬, combatant π, and storm out of the house π€ when his brain gets overwhelmed π§ ⚡️ - sometimes I know what causes these actions π€; sometimes he is dealing with past personal issues that I will never be privy too π€·♀️, even if they are encroaching on present time π€¦π»♀️
My mind never shuts off π§ π, so I am careful what I feed π into that gray matter ticker tape. And, when things spiral out of control π΅π«, I want to settle the dust right away - I want to get right into talking things out and getting back to a settled frame of mind π€ If I feel (or am told) that I am being left … I will pack my stuff and be gone in a heartbeat π£: I am done swallowing someone else's dust π
It took time for us to understand each other's reactions: we went through an extremely hard 30 months together as a married couple π‘πππ
Moving into year 3 together, we're becoming more Intune with each other's vibes ✌️: it's a welcome place to be π Verbalization is still necessary, but picking up on silent communication creates a coziness that allows love to override trauma backflash π©Ή, and spread comfort π
It's okay π - when caught in the grip of trauma trigger π₯ - to say, "I don't want to get into it right now because things will be said and done that can't be undone or unheard; I don't want it trippin' through my thoughts or flashing before my eyes, for the rest of my Life. I love you; but I don't like you right now. I need some decompression time." π€π️
Alexithymia l 2 Be Better Podcast S2 E47:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G3NoGdffFI)

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