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Friday, January 23, 2026

TRAUMA BACKFLASH~Self care & Personal Growth; Coalinga-CA


We both live with borderline trauma every second of every Day πŸ™„

It's hard 🩹: it makes living with others hard πŸ’Ž - even if there's deep love in the mix πŸ‘©‍❤️‍πŸ’‹‍πŸ‘¨

Thank God that "love covers a multitude of sins" πŸ’ž: ego 😎, selfishness πŸ€ , anger πŸ˜‘, spitefulness πŸ‘Ή … ALL that πŸ’” eventually gets solved when love fights the trauma battles πŸ’

Our trauma triggers are very similar - abandonment πŸ‘£ (physical, emotional); character assassinations πŸ—£️πŸ’©; deaths πŸ˜’ (loved ones, close friends) … Holland can shut his thoughts off & pull into himself when life in his moment, get sketchy. He can also be verbally explosive 🀬, combatant 😈, and storm out of the house πŸ˜€ when his brain gets overwhelmed πŸ§ ⚡️ - sometimes I know what causes these actions πŸ€”; sometimes he is dealing with past personal issues that I will never be privy too 🀷‍♀️, even if they are encroaching on present time πŸ€¦πŸ»‍♀️

My mind never shuts off πŸ§ πŸ™„, so I am careful what I feed πŸ”Œ into that gray matter ticker tape. And, when things spiral out of control πŸ˜΅‍πŸ’«, I want to settle the dust right away - I want to get right into talking things out and getting back to a settled frame of mind πŸ€— If I feel (or am told) that I am being left … I will pack my stuff and be gone in a heartbeat πŸ‘£: I am done swallowing someone else's dust πŸ‘Š

It took time for us to understand each other's reactions: we went through an extremely hard 30 months together as a married couple πŸ˜‘πŸ˜ŸπŸ’”πŸ˜­

Moving into year 3 together, we're becoming more Intune with each other's vibes ✌️: it's a welcome place to be πŸ’“ Verbalization is still necessary, but picking up on silent communication creates a coziness that allows love to override trauma backflash 🩹, and spread comfort πŸ’—

It's okay πŸ‘ - when caught in the grip of trauma trigger πŸ”₯ - to say, "I don't want to get into it right now because things will be said and done that can't be undone or unheard; I don't want it trippin' through my thoughts or flashing before my eyes, for the rest of my Life. I love you; but I don't like you right now. I need some decompression time." πŸ€πŸ•Š️

Alexithymia l 2 Be Better Podcast S2 E47: 
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G3NoGdffFI)

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