YOU & I = COMPLICATED; Ocean Park-WA

Even though we are stepping back from marriage complications, Holland and I are retaining our friendship bond.

It's complicated.

The main thing Holland keeps carping about is religion - we both have pretty strong opinions concerning what we believe. Personally I have come to the conclusion that Holland was literally born into a cultic religious atmosphere, and never really had his own personal {come to Jesus moment}; every time he starts talking about the redmill religion, my conclusion is reaffirmed anew.

I, on the other hand, "came to Jesus" in the Winter of 1964 while hearing a sermon in Grand Rapids-MN, on the love of God … and knew I wanted that: I gave my heart to Jesus right then and there; and was water baptized at Bible Summer Camp in the summer of 1965. I knew what I was doing - no one else in my family were Christians, so I was not influenced, coerced, or birthed into a religious home atmosphere. My salvation was purely the real deal.

I am not stretching the truth when I say that 95% of all of the arguments between Holland and I stem from Holland's twisted religiology. And while I understand also his reluctance to face the realities of the redmill religion (both his parents, his grandparents, and 4 of his siblings have since passed from this life to the next - without actual salvation knowledge) … because then he'd have to face the very real realities that they may be lost forever if they weren't able to square things up with Jesus before their last breath  - I can't in all good conscience acknowledge the redmill religion as valid, simply to keep the peace between us.

So, Holland says "we will agree to disagree" - and I say, "we will agree not to speak about religion; Christianity, yes: religion, no." Of course, he will still try … but I will no longer engage in vineyard-related wordfare; it's an endless loop argument that only sparks a wildfire of raging emotions.

Hence the current in-house separation situation where we are living together under the same roof; yet falling back on our best friend status until Holland feels more comfortable in a deeper committed marital relationship that does not involve ultra-right conservative vineyard BS. It sounds weird because it is weird. But it also makes sense to me because I understand how Holland's mind works = his really does believe that marriage is a battlefield where men are victims of a nagging woman who is untrustworthy: but best friends are compassionate and "all in". He was reared in a bad marriage(s) environment, and only a revelation from Elohim will snap him out of it.

I haven't had a {friends with benefits} relationship … but if that mindset will work between us and maintain a peaceful atmosphere in our home, I'm game. We are first and foremost Best Friends, so falling back into that familiar groove is not a hardship for either of us. We know we're married, and we have the paper to prove it when flashing the paper is necessary. Plus, I know that he'll never betray me by stepping outside the marriage boundary lines - he may falter in faithfulness to Elohim & His Word, but I know Holland will never be unfaithful to me. And I know too, that Holland will eventually be 100% saved; I can play his relationship game until he's ready to be "all in" in our marriage without feeling like he's fighting against a choke collar ;-)

The silence was getting to him, so he asked me to go for a drive with him this afternoon: I agreed. My leg is feeling better, and I wanted to get out of the house. We have Independence scheduled for an inspection appointment Thursday morning; so, we tracked down that address first, before heading to the beach.

We drove all the way down the beach, from Seaview beach approach to Beard's Hallow in Ilwaco. Neither of us had been there in years; it was fun, all the way around :-)

Beard's Hollow; Ilwaco-WA from Seaview Approach

Kites; Seaview Beach-WA

ALL the seagulls on the beach - coming and going - were sitting or walking on the sand - none were flying; Seaview-WA

Orleans - 'Still The One' lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5aMMRes2u4)

I was glad my leg was behaving, and that I was able to get down the house steps (and back up, again) - and in and out of Betsy with ease.

Holland made a great tasting BLT for supper; and I started another angel baby blanket.

There is always Hope, backed by love.

There is always a blessing in every Day.