A WORK IN PROGRESS; Ocean Park-WA

Distancing myself from emotional drain is what's most important to me, now. At this point in my Life, I just don't want a whole lot of drama - I understand that tricky situations and touchy circumstances can't be held permanently at bay … but I don't have to actively court them, or allow them, either. That is a choice I have the freedom to make. That is a choice I have a right to enforce for peace of mind.

And I really don't understand why my husband refuses to understand that there are places I can't go without suffering severe life-threatening consequences afterwards. I don't understand why he is not comprehending that stress also sends my asthma episodes into high gear - which is very dangerous for me, and scary for anyone watching me struggle to live 😟😳🙏

He may "know people" who have "serious conditions" that "are, or go into; remission" … but that is not the case with me. I think those people dealing with cancer {remission} that still smoke, are stupid people. I think those people dealing with severe edema due to severe drinking - and still drink like a fish, need intervention; not understanding. Holland's understanding is helping these people he claims to love, commit suicide; watching people kill themselves is not my idea of a fun afternoon. These people smoke inside their homes - homes he expects me to frequent; homes he should understand will seriously compromise my lung ailment. But, all his [understanding] flies out the window in a blue hue of angry outbursts when I say I'll go if I can sit in the truck while he's visiting (and ruining his own COPD lungs with the activity). I say it nice and in a conciliatory tone, "Okay - I can bring my Tablet and sit in the truck dinking around until you come back out." There's nothing in what I said that should send his blood pressure skyrocketing and his temper soaring. It's an agreeable meeting of him half-way … and if his brothers, or SIL, asks where I am - all he has to say is, "She's in the truck; she can't be breathing the smoky atmosphere." He can visit; and I can breathe easy: both of our needs are being met. It shouldn't be the big deal he's making it out to be.

So, for the time being, I am taking space from the chaotic turmoil and coming out of my shell only when necessary. It's a survival thing – my life has already suffered so much pain it is dangerously anemic from the bloodletting: my well-being can’t afford any more bloodshed. Pulling back and taking self-care measures such as loving from a distance when your halfway attempts are scorned, is allowed - peaceful attempt is always graced by The Father.

It was raining when I went to bed last night - and I woke up to rain; so, I decided to make Potato Soup 😊 

Potato soup is a nice mug of warmth on chilly days:

Supper underway before 9 AM

VAL'S POTATO SOUP Recipe:  (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/06/vals-potato-soup-recipe-ocean-park-wa.html)

While the cooking soup filled Independence with it's yummy aroma, I worked some more on my knitting WIP (work in progress) … and some more on myself, for myself ☝️👍

Free - 'Be My Friend' Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z09-qafbJ0U)

Holland wants to be friends; I want a Husband.

He wants to talk - I want believable action that will tell me more than aimless words do.

He wants a heeling [wife] that jumps and performs when given commands: I am more than that. I deserve more than that. I intend to have more than that.

I can be a Friend, without the 1980's non-committal "friendly overtures".

I can wait however long this marriage's work in progress will take.

Holland wants to be friends and I can be a "friendly Wife", when I have a committed, serious man who wants to be a Husband.