SAMEKH~Shabbat Eve; Coalinga-CA

October 17th: With the recent 2-day rainfall came life springing forth - with allergies quick on those heels. I had gone to bed early last night, but got little sleep as I tossed & turned most of the night. When Holland came upstairs around 5 AM, I had been laying there debating getting up or trying to corral the leaping dream sheep … I finally just got up around 5:30 AM, so Holland could get some uninterrupted sleep.

My nose is runny.

I'm sneezing hard enough to get whiplash.

My eyes are red-rimmed & free-flowing …

I felt miserable this morning.

I look like a junkie, and feel like I've been smacked by a hit-n-run truck I didn't see coming.

I did swallow some Dayquil; but it doesn't seem to be slowing anything down.

My thoughts are also running down rabbit trails; my 69th BD is coming up in December, & I can't help thinking that when December 30th rolls around I will be knowing that Bob's life on earth ended at 69, 7 years ago on December 14th. I don't actively court memories of that morning, but this time of year brings memories that run like ticker tape through my gray matter - and while those memories did sustain me during the early years of my widowing years, they do not belong in the Life I am building, now. The Life I am building and living in this moment, is making it's own memories. Memories that have nothing to do with 2018.

I don't think those memories would be intruding if this marriage hadn't suffered such traumatic upheavals over the 33 months we tied the knot. And that is why I am taking space to work on myself.

I have explained to Holland about the boundaries I have and why I keep them so diligently - and he is hearing me; while working on himself to better circumstances in his own life, for the betterment of our Life together.

This is progress.

This is growth.

This is welcome.

And eventually, those hard memories from the Fall & Winter of 2018 will be regulated back to the Past recesses of my gray matter, Holland will step back from the redmill sibling dramas, and we can get busy once and for all living our Life for US - happily weaving a tapestry of this current Life, that will have happy colorful threads overlaying all the sorrows & bringing life to it.

I downed some java joy juice while watching the sunrise, spent some time with Elohim & Yeshua … and I got busy downsizing a pattern to fit a micro preemie:

Lovely sunrise; Coalinga-CA

Self-care

Started a downsizing adaptation …

Around 2:30 PM, Holland mentioned that today was Friday, and asked if I would feel up to shopping the Farmer's Market in Huron; I said it was a possibility. So, I switched my pj's out for public wear - and off we went. We were early, and the vendors weren't set up yet, so Holland treated me to some side road adventuring 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

And I was able to enjoy all of it without aching, burning eyes; a wet, red nose; or whiplash neck-snapping effects 🙏😘

I have a good God.

I have a good husband.

Farmer's Market in Huron, CA from Almond Tree RV Park, Coalinga-CA; 12m (8.1 mi) via W Jayne Ave and CA-269 N Lassen Ave

First road took us through Five Points-CA; it's an agricultural area northeast of Coalinga with a history of agricultural production, including cotton, tomatoes, and almonds. In this era, the small community is basically just a pit stop with a remaining café and a few businesses at a 5-way junction of roads that intersect at its center. It was originally a transportation hub for farmers and traders in the late 19th century.

The unincorporated community was named by Alberta Hamilton in the 1920s when a fifth road was added to the original three, creating five directions from the intersection.

Five Points-CA: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Points,_California

An inviting restaurant; Five Points-CA

Lassen Market is in the background - blue building … P.O. is not close.

Five Points-CA; 18 min from Huron-CA,  (15.7 mi) via CA-269 N Lassen Ave

Then we backtracked a mile or two, & drove the length of Oakland Avenue-CA, which is orchard region; and we watched a crop dusting plane do it's thing … the pilot appeared to be doing two things at once with his plane: fertilizing a bare rototilled field & dusting an orchard plot - not sure how that's possible with one plane 🧐, but he was doing it 😎

Oakland Avenue-CA from Five Points-CA; 9 min (8.0 mi) via CA-269 S and W Oakland Ave

Crop Duster plane - he barely cleared the power lines 🤠😳

Crop Duster plane.

Not sure how we ended up in the Naval Air Station in Lemoore-CA 😳 - but that's where we ended up before finding our way back to Huron. We were driving along, and I read a road sign we passed that said, Lacey Boulevard, and I turned to Holland & said, "I think we're in Hanford, now; I recognize that sign because there is an organic nutrients & supplements store on that road I want to visit. I had no idea that the city was this close!" Holland said, "Well, we've been driving back roads for about an hour, so that's about right."

Naval Air Station in Lemoore-CA from Oakland Avenue-CA; 23 min (20.0 mi) via CA-269 S and CA-198 E

Naval Air Station in Lemoore-CA

Hanford-CA from Naval Air Station in Lemoore-CA; 17 min (15.8 mi) via CA-198 E

Hanford-CA

Huron-CA from Hanford-CA; 35m (33.2 mi) via CA-198 W, Avenal Cutoff Rd and W Jayne Ave

We both saw a lot of new territory this afternoon 😊👌 I like exploring new roads - and I am glad Holland is loosening up enough to enjoy the adventurous explorations, too 😘

I looked up at the clouds overhead, and saw this Hebrew symbol in the clouds as we drove along; Elohim's eye is always on me - He loves me … and He always finds creative ways to encourage me 😁❤️

Hebrew Samekh symbol in the sky.

The Hebrew Samekh symbol signifies support, encircling, and completeness, with its circular shape representing infinity and endless cycles. It also symbolizes protection, like a shield or a shepherd's enclosure, and the concept of being upheld or supported, as seen in the root word samekh which means "to lean upon" or "to support". The shape is also compared to a wedding ring, symbolizing a couple's commitment, and their desire to be wholly bonded in their marital commitment. In a biblical context, the letter is the fifteenth letter of the Hebrew alphabet, and indicates a closed section in a text, and in numerology, it represents the number 60, which is associated with completeness.

Zemer Levav - 'As Long As I Breathe' song: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I8jVET0B0w)

I really mean it when I tell people that I am never alone in this walk through Life. It is good to be a daughter of the Most High God & the Bride of Yeshua 👍

I can always trust Him to know me best ❤️ … and to give me the best 💖 so that I never have to walk alone through Life.

Back home again, I put my Farmer's Market purchases away with a smile as a verse from Scripture ran through my thoughts: "She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar". This verse is part of a larger passage describing the virtuous and capable wife in Proverbs 31:14. The imagery of the verse highlights a willing & industrious nature of a wife's ability to proactively provide for her household by traveling distances if need be, and securing food sources from everywhere; similar to how an old world ship's captain would travel long distances for trade goods.

The thought & imagery made my domesticated wifey heart happy 😊

Bulb onions, purslane, little white onions, peppers, bananas. peaches, oranges, pears, papaya, zucchini, tomatoes.

I made a quick supper of soup & sandwiches; and as soon as the dishes were done … I got busy on the little sweater I had started during my morning coffee hour:

I'll finish the sleeves, tomorrow.

Today turned out better than anticipated when I rolled out of bed this morning.

I was blessed many times over throughout the Day 🥰, and fell back into bed with a satisfied sigh 🛌🕊️😴