AUGUST; Abernathy-WA

Yesterday we drove out Abernathy Road to a shooting area,  there.

Abernathy-WA from Woodland-WA; 47 min (38.7 mi) via I-5 N

Holland is a gun enthusiast and he likes to burn off energy, and shut out the world's stress & nonsense when he's firing off shots; and it's been a while since I could be considered Annie Oakley.

So, when Holland suggested we go, I was happy to go :-)

When we parked, I told him that I was glad to be doing this. I was glad he is in my life, keeping me activated and engaging fully with life.

Especially this month.

I said, "I'm glad you suggested this today Holland. August has always been a hard month for me to get through since Bob graduated to beyond the clouds - August is a month that holds most of my life in it, and I generally check out the entire month: but, I haven't cried at all in August since 2022. I'm glad you are in my life."

He chuckled, and asked, "Are you sure? Even with everything I put you through?"

I replied: "I've never been so sure of anything in my Life. August was my Anniversary month; I got pregnant real quick in 1974 after Bob slipped that gold band on my finger - because I refused to use birth control pills, we were both pretty sure Stacey was on her way into our lives before August rolled in September; in 2018 Bob went into ER the end of August, on his Birthday which was 3 days after our anniversary day; and the next year when his birth day arrived, I ferried his cremains to Eden Valley to be placed in a family plot, in the family cemetery there. I have shed tears of joy, happiness, and sorrow in every single August since I was 17 years old … until Elohim placed you in my Life 2 years ago, Holland."

"I think that was October, right? Jake was holding a Revival at Oak Point, and you and Crystal were sitting on the bench along the back wall. Until that night, I had successfully been ignoring Elohim's prod - but that changed when I heard you burst out laughing. When I turned towards the laughter, it was like a bright neon arrow sign was lit up over your head, and Elohim whispered to my heart: "This is the man I have chosen for you". 

"I don't know what was so special about you that night - you looked the same as every other time I'd seen you. Maybe it was the laughter, that was the first time I'd ever actually heard you laugh. I liked the sound of it. Maybe it was the way you were so relaxed, with your arm across the bench back, and your left leg crossed over your right knee in such a masculine way: I don't know. All I know is that it appealed to me, and I was paying attention that night after ignoring all your flirtations leading up to this night - and you weren't even focusing on me, that night. You were talking and laughing with your cousin. I went home a different person, that night because Elohim was opening my eyes, my ears, and working a new feeling in me."

"My tears dried up that night … but they hit again when you shot me that text a few weeks later, in November telling me what you felt for me; I found a place to pull over, and I let the tears flow until there were no more because I knew I would never cry about the loss of Bob in my life ever again. My life would never be the same because Elohim was shaping a new life for me. Tears of loss stopped with that text. And my heart was making room for new love in it."

Etta James - 'At Last' lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtZ-IgUjALo)

"I only cry tears of frustration now, when you are in a poor-pitiful-me, mean mood; you can be pretty mean … but I haven't cried tears of heartbreak loss in the August's that you have been in my life … and I haven't shut down, or shut you out, when August rolls around. I stay present, and focused: for the most part, you're good for me Holland."

The whole time I had been talking, Holland had been resting his left forearm on the steering wheel, and gazing out the windshield … and hearing me.

When I finished talking he turned to me, and he said, "I was married in the month of August, too; the 22nd, I think. It was so long ago." I said, "I married the first time, on the 27th. I don't think it's coincidental that our lives have always dove-tailed in a weird parallel fashion - month events, camping spots, grocery stores, fellowships, ect … all those years you were looking for me, patiently waiting for me to show up & we probably passed right by each other without realizing it; yet we never met face to face until the time was right. When my life needed you most, Elohim put you right in front of me - and made sure I got the message you held in your heart for decades."

Then we smiled an easy smile across the console between us before we slipped our ear plugs in, and collected our hardware and ammunition for a little sport shooting: I need to get more comfortable with handling the wedding present I received from my new husband - we spent about an hour shooting at various targets, and Holland showed me some things I need to know about how to work the slide & load the clip (he's been doing this for me, but I insisted today that I do it).

The day was pleasantly warm with a light, cool breeze. The forest was peaceful, even though there was some brief traffic. One guy pulled up alongside us laughing and said, "You must have been right behind me - I was just here in this spot about 10 minutes ago." Then he gave us a thumb up, and drove on. Guys get so excited about shooting exercises - strangers seem to find a fast friend in range areas.

When we left, I said I'd like to practice more often while we are still in WA, I'd like to visit shooting ranges on the road … and I need to learn how to break my compact Taurus GX4 down & clean it, too. Aside from being fun to target shoot, the reality is that the demonrats have made America a seriously dangerous place to live in the moment. I need to be able to meet trouble if it comes my way, I need to be able to competently cover Holland if a situation gets dicey; and I need to keep my gift in tip-top shape.

And so, sharing an enjoyable activity, as well as memories of August past that kick-started our individual lives 'back when' … it seems only fair that this August, at this time in our Life, should be the month that kick-starts this marriage too, with a fresh start :-)

I'm so glad we're back on track.