Love.
The first marriage = Adam & Eve, may have occurred without love as we know it being a main component; and in many countries globally, arranged marriages still occur, with love being the least consideration - and in many other countries, people marry for convenience, and love doesn't necessarily mean much: however, in America, people stake their entire lives & fortunes on love's gamble 💘
I can honestly state (and Holland agrees), that our marriage was arranged 💞 long ago - and love this time 💖, for me, came slowly 🤔 & somewhat begrudgingly 😒
Our love story is unique, with many tosses and turns before coming into play and eventually happily entered into. Holland at 27 yo., was at a crossroads in his life & was given a vision 🥰 by God ☝️ of his future wife 💞 - the image was so clear, he said, that he held onto it & waited 34 years for it to come into being ⏳ We had never met each other before the Fall of 2021, but he tells me that in the Fall of 2018, he had another vision of me crying so hard 😭 he physically felt the pain 😔💯 of my anguish. While that sad vision played out, he tells me that he begged God for relief, saying, "How long Lord? She's in so much pain and there's nothing I can do to help her!" My husband Bob, was at that point in time, dying; I was heartbroken 💔 I cried alone, in the dark of the night, in an unfamiliar hospital where hope was quickly evaporating & my 44 year marriage to the love of my life was ending. I cried while Bob slept - I knew Elohim saw me and was comforting me, holding my heart tenderly and holding me so I didn't fall apart; I was unaware that unknown eyes 👀 full of love ❤️ were also watching and praying a healing over me 🙏🕊️
Before Bob's spirit left him in December of 2018, he held my hand and said to me, "I want you to marry again Val; you have a lot of love to give. You need to be loved. Get married again." I did not want to hear that! I had been very happy with Bob; I could not imagine life with anyone else. I did not entertain thoughts of remarriage - after Bob's passing, men in general were the last thing on my mind. From January of 2019 to November of 2022, men were not even a passing blip on my solo lobo radar. For 4 years I had been adjusting 🚧 my life to an unwanted status 😟, refocusing life goals 🙄, revisiting old road trip haunts ⛽️🚗, rethinking 🤔 and seriously considering the road gypsy life 🗺️ that had been put on hold when I married Bob decades ago - and revising, rebuilding, reshaping, and learning to enjoy my new life as a solo lobo. I wasn't aware of Elohim's workings behind the scenes of my daily life. I wasn't aware that Holland was patiently waiting 😇 for my awareness. So, when I finally did find my way to the hilltop where he was waiting 🏔️😎 ... I was still unaware & totally caught by surprise 😳 when the scales fell off my eyes during an October revival 😍 We had been friends for 18 months 🤝 Holland had recognized me straight off 🥰 (as soon as I walked across the fellowship threshold), but kept silent because I was always mingling with a small group of gathered friends & I talked about Bob. A lot. He did, on occasion, make obvious overtures 🤞 (filling my coffee mug when it needed filling, making sure I had something to eat, asking me how I was doing, ect.) … but I always maintained a friendly distance. I wasn't interested in a romantic interlude; I'm not a game player. And remarriage wasn't a consideration - even though Holland had been waiting & Bob had made clear his thoughts on the matter. It didn't cross my thoughts until it crossed my thoughts; suddenly & unexpectently. But I still took time to warm up to it 🦋: it took time to let go of the memory of Bob's love.
I was so caught up in grieving and missing the love that had vanished from my life 😢 … that I almost missed out on the generous love being gifted me 💝
Holland had waited patiently. He didn't press me. He didn't crowd me 🤠 He kept things friendly. He didn't say a single word about any deeper feelings - until he texted me in November, and made clear his feelings & intention 📱 Things moved pretty quickly after that ➡️ the text was made before Thanksgiving, and we married as the New Year began 👩❤️💋👨 We had been friends for 18 months before we tested the waters of couplehood, and waded deeper into the depths of marriage. There was a brief break in-between, but that was my doing: I was still dealing with trigger issue fallout 🤦🏻♀️, and still hung up on memories 🧠 I was unwilling to shed. But there was no doubt in Holland's thoughts about how things would be. And it didn't take long for my thoughts to catch up with his 😘
My February 22, 2023 Post~MY SWAN-MAN: https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2023/02/my-swan-man.html
We both had lots of love left to give - and Elohim was providing the vessels to pour the love into 🎁💖
I am still blown away by the vision Holland never gave up on.
Holland still chuckles when I call him my swan man.
You may be thinking to yourself that all this sounds pretty far-fetched 🧐🤔 - but it's all truth: there were witnesses to the decades-old vision & there were witnesses to the unfolding of our life story to date 🙏⛪️☝️✝️💞
We can both truthfully say - and stand by - "it's a God-thing." Our marriage couldn't have happened any other way. And as we've enjoyed the contented fun side 🤩 of this new life 🦋👩❤️💋👨, we've also hung on for dear life 🤦🏻♀️ and rode out the choppy waves 😤🌊🤬 of this union. Over the course of 37 months, we've tested every level of love there is to experience: some good, some not so good = all lessons in love that builds a strong and lasting covenant marriage 📝💞
As we walk into 2026 📅, we are both thankful 🙏 that Elohim brought us together & grateful 👏 that despite ourselves 🤷♀️😵💫, He keeps us together 🩹 He never promised us a rose garden ✌️; He just promised we'd never be alone in our own private portion of the garden of life.
"Covenant Marriage" to me, means a Biblical Marriage ☝️ ✝️📖; not a State Contract Marriage, or a Church Contract Marriage. Covenant Marriage, by Biblical Standards is all that interests me 🎯 = Elohim's Laws, which aren't as strict as they seem, to some - and should not be restrictive or argumentative for people claiming to be Christians. Christianity by it's very nature is a walk of a life based on the example of Yeshua Ha'Mashiach (Jesus, the Messiah = Son of God, Prince of Peace, Savior-Redeemer-Deliverer). Yeshua perfectly exampled how easy it is to obey and do the Will of Elohim (Father God): if we claim His Name, we need to do His walk. If we are honoring Elohim … we will honor Him in all aspects of the Life He blesses us with 😇
Marriage serves as a spiritual discipline that will (ofttimes against their will) help individuals confront their weaknesses and grow spiritually. Through the challenges 🔥 and joys of married life 🕊️, couples can learn to love God and each other more deeply.
There are 8 recognizable levels of love 💗; and they all play a part in our life at some point 👊
Philia = this is an affectionate love between close friends; a love without romantic attraction.
Pragma = this is an enduring love.
Storge = this is a familiar love. This type of love is a relationship that graduated from friendship to a sexual relationship. This is a ((surprise!)) love relationship because the people involved ofttimes cannot comprehend the moment they realized their friendship had morphed into an Eros love situation – it is a gradual transition.
Eros = this is a committed romantic love; with sex definitely figured into the game plan. Eros generally leads to a traditional marriage scenario with procreation plans.
Ludus = is an uncommitted love; flirtatious, and in many instances deceptive. People who engage in this type of love will have many love engagements, but always remain foot-loose and fancy-free: uncommitted.
Mania = this is an obsessive type of love; it leads to unwanted attentions, jealousies, or unhealthy possessiveness.
Philautia = in its healthy sense, self-love is a generalized love for oneself to build confidence: to be comfortable in one’s own skin; an easy, comfortable love that flows between family members and friends – a desire to share enjoyment of time and activity. The unhealthy flip-side leads to narcissism, which is destructive to one’s self … as well to the populace, in general.
Agape = this is unconditional love; a love that transcends all other love. It is totally selfless in every regard. This type of love is a love of choice in action – it does not involve emotions of familiarity. Agape love requires faithfulness, commitment, and the sacrifice of self – without expecting anything in return.
Anyone who has been married for a considerable length of time will honestly tell you that love surges 🥰, wanes 🤨, & surges 😘 again: many times 🙄 throughout the duration of their union 👩❤️💋👨
Spending time together intentionally 💝, becomes essential to sustaining married life. One simple, effective way, couples can nurture this intentionality is through regular "date nights." Holland has been good about making sure there are Date times in our relationship - the first thing he said after bringing marriage into the conversation was, "and we'll make time for date time once a week" … and that has held steady, no matter where we are, what's going on with us, or how steady the waves of Life are: Date Time never wavered. He considered me 💓: even when he was frustrated, or angry with me.
Today, we're just laying low & lollygagging the hours away in Independence's domesticated cocoon. It's a little chill here, in Coalinga. Rain is in the forecast - and it feels like it may arrive sooner than projected.
Laying low included a weigh lifting workout 🏋️♀️ I love workouts and include them 👌 in my daily routines every chance I get & when my heart (arrhythmia) and lungs (environmental asthma) cooperate - even a 10-minute daily session can lift energy, mood, and confidence. The key is consistency, not intensity. I like the Darebee workouts because they are effective and offer variety. KNOW YOUR BODY - know persistent or serious underlying skeletal medical restrictions. I have given safe rep counts for healthy seniors below, underneath the original workout read out.
The upper body takes a lot of work: the Darebee Home Upperbody Tone workout provides you with a dumbbell workout that will engage all the major muscle groups and help your body get stronger, look more toned and feel better. Simple exercises using light weights can help improve bone density. Starting too heavy is the fastest way to get discouraged - or worse, injured. Light weights, and slow steady reps, wins over fast, sloppy, choppy moves - which will result in damage. Done wisely and safely, dumbbell exercises can maintain strength, mobility, and bone health well into your golden years.
For a 69-year-old woman, it is generally safe to perform Alternating Bicep Curls with weights between 1-lb & 5-lb weight. This range allows for a manageable weight that can still provide effective strength training without overexertion; this exercise works the muscles in your upper arms that help bend your elbows, which you need to lift a grocery bag or pull a door open. If you don’t have weights, you can simply use household items like soup cans or water bottles. It is recommended to start with lighter weights and gradually increase as strength improves. Always prioritize safety; if there is excessive pain, stop.
The safety of performing Dumbbell Upright Rows for a 69-year-old woman depends on several factors, including her overall health, the weight used, and the form of the exercise: while dumbbell upright rows can be beneficial for muscle development and overall fitness, they should be approached with caution. Keep your elbows at or slightly below shoulder height throughout the exercise. If you medical history includes shoulder issues, or arthritis, avoid upright rows.
The Dumbbell Alternate Shoulder Press is a safe and effective exercise for a 69-year-old woman to perform. It primarily targets the shoulders and triceps while also engaging the core for stability. The exercise mimics real-life overhead movements, such as lifting groceries or placing objects on shelves, and transfers strength to sports and daily life. It is important to perform the exercise with proper form to avoid strain on the shoulders, neck, and elbow joints. To ensure safety, use weights between 1-lb & 5-lb weight to avoid muscle strain or injury.
For a 69-year-old woman, Dumbbell Side Bends may not be safe due to the potential risks associated with improper form and the use of excessive weight. If you’ve been diagnosed with osteoporosis, osteoarthritis of the spine, herniated discs, or spinal stenosis, this stretch can be unhealthy for your spine and put it at risk of a vertebral compression fracture.
For a 69-year-old woman, in general good condition, it is recommended to start with 2-5 lb. dumbbells and focus on slow, controlled movements. The number of repetitions can vary based on individual strength and fitness level. However, it is crucial to listen to your body and stop immediately if you feel pain, dizziness, or discomfort. Consistency and proper form are key to safely increasing the number of repetitions over time.
Dumbbell Core Twists are generally safe for a 69-year-old woman to perform, provided she is in good physical condition and has a stable core. However, it is crucial to perform these exercises with proper form and control to avoid injury. Start with 2-5 lb. dumbbells and focus on slow, controlled movements.
Dumbbell Overhead Triceps Extensions are generally safe for a 69-year-old woman to do. These exercises are beneficial for building triceps strength, which is important for seniors to maintain hand dexterity and perform daily activities. However, it is crucial to perform the exercise with proper form to avoid injury. Begin with 2-5 pound weights. Listen to your body: if you experience pain or discomfort, stop immediately.
Lollygagging involved a siesta session & a novel indulgence …
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*February 7, 2026 - NATIONAL MARRIAGE WEEK #1/2026~Self-Care; Coalinga-CA https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2026/02/national-marriage-week-1self-care-2026.html
*February 8, 2026 - CHAPTER 2~National Marriage Week #2/2026~Self-Care; Coalinga-CA https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2026/02/chapter-2national-marriage-week-2-self.html
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