PASO ROBLES-CA

October 9th: Today we decided to cross the mountain and check out the Wal*Mart on the other side, in Paso Robles-CA

We were up early & on the road by 7:46 AM.

Shimmering brow; Cover Girl glittery Green eyeshadows; Auburn Brow Gel; Deep Green Mascara; Au Natural Crème Blush & #590 L'Oréal Lipstick.

The day was nice for a drive. We basked in the hot 80-degree morning temperature as we whizzed past almond orchards, and talked about driving into Paso Robles-CA, to the Wal*Mart there - I've never been there, so Holland was treating me to this little sight-seeing-shopping jaunt:

Holland ran into the donut shop for on the road snacks …

A dozen Cake & Buttermilk Donuts - light & fluffy. The best; Coalinga-CA

San Lucas-CA from Coalinga-CA; 1 hr 1 min (48.2 mi) via CA-198 E

Hwy #198 through Coalinga-CA runs through the a canyon & up over the Diablo Range-CA

Believe the sign! This road is very tight, very snaky, and has very sharp 'hairpin' corners.

A very pretty country drive, crossing the Diablo Range-CA & dropping into the Priest Valley-CA

The moon is in a waning gibbous phase, which means it is still brightly lit by the sun, making it easily visible in daytime hours: Kinda looks like the moon is highlighting a Ying & Yang pattern.

The Santa Lucia Range in the clouds; viewed from Hwy 198-CA

Paso Robles-CA from San Lucas-CA; 44 min (44.8 mi) via US-101 N

The El Camino Real Bells; Hwy #101, San Lucas-CA

The El Camino Real Bells-CA: 

(https://www.discover-central-california.com/el-camino-real-bells/)

I didn't take any pictures of the town itself because it was pretty nondescript - it reminded me of the urban centers of Portland-OR; no a city, but larger than a town community. Hard to describe … even harder to be comfortable in.

We found the [super store].

The Paso Robles-CA Wal*Mart was nice on the outside - a nightmare, inside.

Inside, we each had a shopping cart and went our separate ways, agreeing to meet in the grocery section of the store. I had things I wanted to get; Holland had things he wanted to get - they were not in the same places. We had our phones with us & would touch base with each other.

The store was confusing. The layout was ridiculous. The aisles were so tight, just easily turning around in them was a feat … 2 shopping carts moving down the aisles in opposite directions was dangerous. The restrooms were a maddening joke. And the phones did not work at all - they were fully charged, but for some reason the frequencies were being jammed: I could receive calls form Holland, but I could not hear him at all, and he said he could not hear me: we played phone tag for about 20 minutes before I finally had him paged to meet me by the front door; I figured if he didn't meet me in about 15 minutes, I'd leave my cart (and everything in it) and go see if he was in Betsy. I didn't know if he was trying to contact me to say he'd paid for his stuff and was waiting in the 4x due to pain. I didn't know if he simply wanted to let me know he was in the grocery department, at that moment. I could see other people on their phones; I was getting frazzled & irritated. He was paged - he was in the store - he was about 100 feet from me when we finally spotted each other. We tried to finish shopping, but finally just gave up, paid for what we had, and left that nightmare: Holland simply cannot walk back and forth through ridiculous layouts - n.o.t.h.i.n.g. was where it should have been - and if, by some miracle, it was … it was nearly impossible to reach it because of the tight aisle traffic jams. Food items were spread across the entire store instead of being in specified areas. Clothing was spread across the store - from one end to the other instead of being sectioned, like most Wal*Mart's are. The workers were testy. We'd both crisscrossed the store several times on our own (I was out of breath - I'd used it up running the length of the store several times over & scanning the aisles for him while trying to answer his calls; and Holland was beginning to feel pain burn), and we tried to finish shopping together, but found ourselves still making several repetitious laps through the store because of the stupid layout. By the time we cried 'Uncle', located a cashier, & paid for our stuff, we had had enough of Paso Robles.

This Wal-Mart was a very frustrating experience - NO REPEAT!

Bless Holland's heart (I mean that in a good way) - seeing how frazzled I was following the in-store crazy, he said, "It's not a wasted trip Baby - we'll be doing some more sight-seeing on the way home, and that's the main reason we came this way." He was right, and his words did lighten things up considerably … and from now on, we'll shop the Wal*Mart in Hanford, where we don't feel trapped in a crazy corn maze layout, and prison like lockdown - or government scramble on phone convo.

What a nightmare.

Holland, on the way to Kettleman said he'd been on that road many times over the years, but the other roads from Coalinga to San Lucas & San Lucas to Paso Robles was new to him - so, that's a travel memory we made together, today. We like the moments that are ours alone, specific to the moments in our lives that are building the tapestry of our Life.

Kettleman-CA from Paso Robles-CA; 59 min (54.4 mi) via CA-46 E and CA-41

The route from Paso Robles to Kettleman City crosses the Temblor Range, and is near the San Andreas Fault.

The Temblor Range: 

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temblor_Range)

Reading the information about the Temblor Range - and knowing what the San Andreas Fault is & what's it's capable of, is a little concerning; but we can't live our life in fear. In all reality, there's really no [safe] place - it seems like everywhere in America this year is fraught with concerning weather patterns and seismic activity of some sort.

Holland says we're staying put until there is divine inspiration to move on.

I'm okay with that.

We'd both rather be enjoying the sunny warmth here, than dealing with the wet cold of the PNW

LESSON OF COALINGA~1983 Coalinga Earthquake: (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1983_Coalinga_earthquake & 

https://www.nytimes.com/1983/05/24/science/lesson-of-coalinga-california-seems-in-still-greater-peril.html)

The Magnitude 6.5 temblor that devastated Coalinga in 1983, was not directly on the San Andreas Fault, but rather on a previously unknown "blind thrust fault." This fault was not visible on the surface, making the earthquake a surprise to seismologists. The shock was felt from Los Angeles to 200 km north of Sacramento and as far east as Las Vegas.

Holland tells me this thing on that hill is a 'small work-over-rig' in an oil field.

Holland knows what a 'work-over-rig' is: he has been around them (his mechanic stepfather worked on them) - but he personally has not worked one, though he has worked several oil field jobs from Louisiana, North Dakota, Texas, & Canada … to name a few, before he worked construction jobs.

Workover Rig - GoPro Footage: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVkOZcmztFg)

Coalinga-CA from Kettleman-CA; 32 min (28.8 mi) via I-5 N and W Jayne Ave

It's all new to me … but Holland is also seeing old ways through new eyes, and sometimes experiencing new things, too. Like this morning's route over the Diablo Range.

I like that he's relaxing enough this year to enjoy the explorations.

I like that he's relaxing enough to enjoy those explorations with me.

We are still working on ourselves separately; and working together to overcome hinderances that hamper US.

BEAUTIFUL FALL DAY & 2025 HARVEST MOON; Coalinga-CA

October 6th, 2025: This morning we were up bright and early, had our coffee's drank … and on our way to Visalia before 8 AM to do some grocery shopping. We do have grocery stores closer, but there are things at Winco that others stores do not carry - and that was why we we on the freeway to Visalia 😉

I had time to get dolled up, so that's what I did before we left Independence:

Face in place. Shimmering brow; 2 Green eyeshadows - 1 for lid color, 1 for upper & lower lash liner; Brunette Brow Gel; Deep Green Mascara; Coral Crème Blush & Lipstick.

It was a nice drive - sunny & carefree.

Visalia-CA from Coalinga-CA; 1h 7m (64.4 mi) via CA-198 E

And we talked. About a lot of things, but mostly about how helping those we love can actually do more harm than good; when the topic of siblings came up, and that led to the discussion on both our siblings … and my children/grandchildren.

For once Holland listened and didn't condemn me for the decision I made in my Life to step back and letting them learn how to live on their own. Sometimes the best way to love someone is to allow them to struggle.

I was always an enabler … since I was 11 months old.

Holland is also an enabler.

I stopped enabling in 2019: and I've never regretted it.

I don't care if people think I'm a bitch: at this stage of my Life, I just don't want to be dealing with anyone else's crazy bullshit right now - I have my own issues I am dealing with; and 50% of those things I am dealing with are the direct result of mistreatment from my siblings & children. I don't like being told how to feel, think, act, or talk; especially by lazy siblings & ungrateful adult children who think they can run me, just because the demonrats tell them that they can. The fact that they mistreat me while trying to guilt me into paying their way through life from cradle to grave, pisses me off. So, realizing they were becoming obnoxious, spoiled, overgrown brats … I stopped enabling. I stopped throwing $$$$$ towards bad decisions made by irresponsible people. I stopped being available for grab the money & run brats. I decided that it was now my turn to enjoy the fruits of the hard earned $$$$$ Bob & I made & squirreled away. I determined to live the remaining years of my life on earth having fun and exploring all I can, while I can. Without unwarranted, and unwanted, bitter vitriol heaped on me from bitter people dealing with self-imposed angsts they refuse to correct.

And I'm at that point with my husband, too, who has never had to tow the line and behave. I understand that he has suffered - and still suffers with traumatic brain injury. But I also understand that that is no excuse for bad behavior. He behaves badly when he wants his own way, because he has been allowed to: he has never had to answer to anyone, for anything, at any time. Things have changed.

I deserve better.

I expect better.

I will have better.

Holland isn't there yet with his [responsibilities], but at least he is listening now, without the usual "you hate everybody!" And he is slowly coming to the realization that try as he will, he cannot rescue people bent on self-destruction. It's really hard for him to accept the that he is not responsible for rescuing Mark (his only remaining sibling) from bad decisions. Mark doesn't want the interference - he will listen … and then, do the complete opposite. Holland can do his best to clear all the obstacles, offer unwanted advice, and rush in to pick up financial slack - but, at the end of the Day, people only change when they want to; or are forced to because they have to.

I get why Holland feels like he's responsible to make sure Mark's life is cushy and carefree: I used to do that too, for my siblings and my adult children. But all it got me was grief. And all it is getting my husband, is grief. He is going to have to come to the place where he steps back and let's Mark grow up (Mark is 61 years old), find the strength within himself to step up and be responsible for his own decisions concerning his life. Let him make his own mistakes that he will learn hard lessons from, as he comes into his own.

Anyway: when we got to Visalia, we got our shopping done … then explored a bit. Winco is in a different part of Visalia that neither of us have ever been in, before; it's a very nice community. I think we've covered just about every corner of Visalia-CA now - over the past 24 months we've visited to go grocery shopping, passed through while visiting Holland's relatives, and we even stayed at the KOA at one time; but this is a different part & it's very nice.

As the purchases were being loaded into Betsy's back seat area, I said to Holland that the air actually felt like a warm Fall Day - it even smelled like a warm Fall Day. In california, where there doesn't seem to be any seasonal changes at all, except for store displays. It felt nice. It smelled nice. I was pleasantly surprised 😊

Drove to Winco, in Visalia-CA

A beautiful 78-degree Fall Day.

Leaving Winco, we saw what looked like a mock old west main street, so we drove that way to see what we could see. I was thinking maybe it was a roadside museum or something - there was built up old-west facades, a  train Xing sign post, and a plaque of some sort … but it was a private residence! Very weird; but this homeowner got very creative with his back yard.

This homeowner got very creative.

Back home, purchases were put away; and the raw peanuts I bought Friday afternoon had dried out enough to be air fried.

It was a new experience, but honestly not worth the hassle - this will not be a repeat experience:

Roasting raw peanuts; air fryer method; 350-degrees.

Peanuts washed & air-dried for 2 days; then 15 to 25 minutes in the cooker. Don't crowd - the air needs to circulate.

Roasted & cooling. NOT a repeat.

Between frying batches of nuts, I posted a few more links to Monday Blog Hops, and saw that 2 of my posts from last Monday had been featured on 2 Blog Hops Link Parties; I like that my design patterns are shooting across the globe & that people like them. These patterns are free, and I'm okay with that:

My X-Lrg. Crochet Hotpad was featured on 'A Pinch of Joy' Blog Hop.

My Knit Kitchen Towel Set was featured on 'A Really Crafty' Blog Hop.

And, I worked some more on self-care & personal growth.

Believers often talk loosely about "wrestling with God", as though He was an unwilling partner. The truth of the matter is that we are the unwilling ones - and Elohei may have to wrestle with us.

Elohei is willing … but we are sluggish; or even reluctant. We wrestle with ourselves, perhaps even to pray. We are up against Lucifer - who will do his level best to distract us, or fill our minds with the idea that prayer is useless.

That is a lie - prayer is our strongest defense; prayer is where Elohim meets us, and the power that moves mountains.

We must prevail over all such suggestions, and hold on to the faithful One who wants to bless us: and bless others (specifically our spouse), through us.

Self-care measures.

As 8:47 PM drew nearer, I got my camera from Betsy's cab and scanned the sky - spotting the moon behind the tall leafy tree tops: the 1st Supermoon of the Fall-Winter Season. 

The moon showed beautifully … and I did not suffer a face-plant, this year; no matching eyebrow gash 😉

I'm so glad I was able to see it, tonight 😁👏 The moon craters were clearly visible - but there is so much stirred up dust in the atmosphere, that the craters couldn't be caught on film.

The moon is simply beautiful tonight, and this aging moon child is in awe.

1st Super Moon of 2025; Coalinga-CA

NEW WAYS TO GET HOME; Shabbat~Coalinga-CA

Holland whisked me off on a spur-of-the-moment daytrip.

Today we had an exploratory adventure - an impromptu daytrip drive; that started out buying honey, which led to In & Out Burgers a couple towns away. Two new cross-over roads … one that took us a new way home, after Hwy. #41 took us waaay off towards Hanford way. 

But it was a fun day, and a good way to wind up Shabbat 😁

First we cross the Interstate overpass to the 4-way junction where we knew the honey table would be set up the street side vendor:

Huron-CA from US; 12 min (8.1 mi) via W Jayne Ave and CA-269 N & Lassen Ave

Then, Holland said, "Let's drive through Avenal to Kettleman, and back home: we'll get hamburgers at In 7 Out, in Kettleman - that way you won't have to cook, tonight." I was agreeable to that 😉

On our way to Kettleman, he surprised me 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨 by veering off the main road, onto a side road I have been curious about …

Avenal-CA from Huron-CA; 17 min (14.3 mi) via CA-269 S

New road! It's a cut-over road; Hwy. #41 CA

Kettleman-CA from Avenal-CA; 18 min (15.9 mi) via CA-33 S and CA-41 N

In & Out Burger @ #33464 Bernard Dr, Kettleman City, CA

Canary Island Date Palm.

This pretty, spidery-type flower, is known as Pride of Barbados, Peacock Flower, Mexican Bird of Paradise, and Dwarf Poinciana.

We ate our hamburgers & talked with Holland saying, "I want this; I love you. I want this." I looked out the windshield and said, "I don't want [this] - I want better. I deserve better. WE deserve better. I don't just want to hear that you love me … I want to feel that you love me. I know you're not going anywhere; but I don't want this. I want better. I'm worn down from words that only lead to hurt after they're spoken; I don't want to be living a repeat of your parent's marriage. I don't want to constantly be shadowed by the redmill testosterone curse. I want to live our marriage - I want change."

We're working on ourselves.

By ourselves, for ourselves: so [this] can stand a chance of survival where we can then work on US.

It's gonna take time; a lot of damage has been done. A lot of healing has to happen.

Intentionally.

We got off track with all the bickering that took place the past 2+ years; we need to find a new way back home, where our hearts feels safe with each other again.

On our way back to Independence, he veered off onto another cut-over road. The day was warm & sunny, the music was good, we were talking: it was a fun outing.

And the new way home, took us right back to the intersection where we had bought the honey 😁

Another cut-off road - this one looped us back to the junction we started from …

Route home.

Today was a good Shabbat Day.

Miles and miles of cotton fields; it reminded me of that Sally Fields movie, 'Places In The Heart'.

Intersection of Jayne & Lassen Roads; the start of our little daytrip drive. 

Back home, the honey was stored …

This honey is so good; the $ is good, too.

And we both relaxed in or own ways.

My self-care measures …