I'm terrible at keeping things hidden - my face shows it.
My voice betrays it.
My choice of music throws out hints.
Eventually the cat is out of the bag.
Holland has separated himself from me … it's been a long time coming. A few people have been in the loop: some of Holland's people, and some of my people.
I have tried to put a positive spin on things (always hopeful), but I'm no good at keeping things hidden. Covering things up makes me feel like a liar.
Today went up in flames, and I'm tired of reaching for the fire extinguisher. I'm exhausted with the continual 2 weeks separation ridiculousness.
I do NOT want the kind of twisted marital relationship my mother and sister had: I deserve better, and I won't settle for less than love from the man I have pledged to share my life with.
Holland was a bachelor for decades - he's used to cutting out when things don't go his way.
I don't do separations.
I don't do divorce.
I get married for life - Holland knew this going into this marriage because I told him so; I've always been upfront with him. He has not - it seems - been upfront with me.
I don't know where we go from here. The ball is in Holland's court, and currently, he is playing foul ball …
I'm not going to keep grinding on this situation, but people have been curious: now they know.
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