Hi π We're Val & Holland Redmill … living our Life Story as silver-haired Road Gypsies in our 5th wheel RV Home~40 months married & 60,000 miles traveled across America; covered in grace every Day & trying mightily not to lose our sanctification during the bad & ugly times. I post everywhere - about everything: and if what I post can help someone else, I'm glad for the experience. But from sunrise to sunset, we live our Life for US. Trusting Elohim every step of the way.
GOD KNEW I NEEDED YOU
Friday, June 6, 2025
TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON; Ocean Park-WA
Thursday, June 5, 2025
LOVE MAKE EVERYTHING BEARABLE: Ocean Park-WA
Once bound by friendship and love, the unity of this marriage is crumbling under continual betrayals (emotional betrayals only), and divergent values (the gap keeps getting wider).
No matter how much I hear, "I love you, Baby" … he always seems to set us backwards, instead of forwards in this weird marriage.
And it doesn't matter which State we are in.
The current craziness just happens to be in WA State, this time. It's nothing new, but it is going on longer:
April 24, 2025: BACK AT THE ROOMMATE STAGE: Ocean Park-WA: https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/04/back-at-roommate-stage-ocean-park-wa.html
Even so, it doesn't distract, or take away, from the achievements Holland has made - and will make. I know I sound contradictory, but I'm not. This relationship is very complex.
If we could just use our valuable time together to work towards an agreeable solution, instead of haggling over his [rights] and mulish obsession to be [right], these heated arguments would not happen so frequently.
So, for the time being, while taking some space to step away from the bullish overload chaos - I'm engaging in self-care activities, listening to music, meditating on Elohim's faithful goodness & Yeshua's calming presence, and exercising; on a personal level, I'm hitting all the [happiness chemicals] boxes, this morning. And I intend to keep it up as time passes. Sitting around moping, under my husband's thumb, is not on my agenda. I am not like the other beaten down redmill wives.
I'm an advocate for executional excellence - because in the end, if you burn your calories trying to change someone you know is not going to change, instead of putting your focus on the output he can provide … then you are in the process of being dominated and manipulated by their opposing behaviors and bullish attitude. It's just a waste of time. Let's burn our calories moving the needle forward; I'm not going to get caught up in aimless twaddle that leads to hamster wheel treading.
Instead, I'm going to be treading on my stepper - and burning calories with toning workouts:
Through it all, love (divine love, spousal love, self-care love) makes everything bearable. It elbows the chaos out of my life.
I love You, Yeshua: You are MESSIAH & KING and you lavish my life with love – thank You for all You do for me; what You have done, what You are in the process of doing (though I do not yet see, or feel any of it), and for all You will do for me. Your presence in my Life make everything bearable.
Wednesday, June 4, 2025
HEART OF STONE; Ocean Park-WA
Not only is there the redmill religiosity to contend with, but there is also the fact that Holland's older brother Rick, smacked him extremely hard in the head with a baseball bat, causing a traumatic brain injury - which isn't noticeable until there is sensory overload.
And right now, there is sensory overload: Betsy has needs that need to be taken care of before any long distance drives take place; weather all over the USA is very weird, this year; both of us are dealing with allergies and lung inflammations - either jointly, or simultaneously (Holland has been out of house quite a bit though, but I've been stuck inside for weeks; not a good situation); Kelso & Woodland keep interfering, and those binky & burping intrusions stir up the proverbial hornet's nest … I could go on. A lot is happening, and he is being pulled in too many directions.
Add to that, the fact that I am feeling punk most of the time - WA State is not good to me - or for me, in any sense. I've been sick the entire time we've been back in WA; the last thing I want is to be constantly fighting about his family and friends! These people are all in their early to late 60's - they should have lives of their own to engage in, without constantly being in ours. My husband should be discussing the things that affect his life (which directly affect my life) … with me, not so much with them. My unhappiness is adding to his stressful overload.
The overload is taking it's toll on both of us.
And I'm really sick and tired of fighting about his unhealthy connections. I'm tired of always walking on eggshells in my own home. I'm tired of the verbal manipulations and the sneaky gaslighting.
In short, I'm just plain sick of the redmills in general. They are not nice people … and I'm finding it very hard to be nice when it concerns them.
Except for my husband - I want them all out of my Life.
If they stayed in their own lanes, I wouldn't mind - but they don't; they are in our personal business, and that is not okay with me.
Holland does not agree; hence the continual fighting.
Today, when he was stuck in an overload loop, shouting at me, I broke in and said, "we wouldn't even be here, arguing, if not for those 5 words you said to me - [this is a God thing]; if not for those words, I wouldn't even have considered dating or remarriage. But you echoed the very words I challenged Elohim with … it was confirmation that the time was right, and you were {the one}. I didn't know then, that you hid a heart of stone, and that you argue with Elohim, like you argue with me."
So, I'm taking a step back from all the craziness, and carving some time out for myself. To work on myself, for myself. Because I am, for all intents and purposes … by myself.
Elohim never removes things, or people, from your life without replacing it with something better.
I had, since moving with Bob to Cowlitz County (we bought and lived in several houses in Longview-WA), had a rock collection of heart-shaped rocks I would find along the riverbanks & among the riverbed rock laid at our last home before Bob's spirit went Home beyond the clouds. The rocks always seemed to pop up during turbulent times (fallout from stressful interaction with our grown children) when love was sorely needed, to be experienced. Bob's spirit left Earth the tail-end of 2018, and close friends were pressing me to consider dating; I was not interested. I remember doing dishes one evening, when my eyes went to the heart-shaped rock collection on the windowsill - and I wrote this Blog Post on {{June 4th, 2020: "I don’t know how my life will be blessed since Bob went Home beyond the clouds; I hope I recognize Elohim’s gift and accept it graciously. Nothing can ever replace Bob, but I know whatever Elohim has planned for my life will be a true blessing. Just like Bob was, for 44 years … Meanwhile, the love comes to me in stone heart findings."}}
A year later, I was still successfully avoiding the dating scene - and my friends were still pestering me about it. A new man in my life wasn't something I was actively seeking. In fact, with the following Blog Post notation, I kinda challenged Elohim … thinking that would put a lid on the entire matter: {{Sunday - May 16th, 2021: If Elohei prompts me to seek companionship in another marriage; I won’t argue the point – I never argue with Elohim; I may balk, and I may drag my feet … but I never argue. I’m not actively advertising, either. If, and that is a very big “if” things go that way, it will have to be a ‘God thing’ – divinely orchestrated; and will have to ‘rock my world’ just like Bob’s sudden presence in my life did in 1974 – and every second of every day for the 44 years he shared his life and love with me.}}
Elohim took me up on that challenge.
A year later, a divinely orchestrated meet did happen π³π, & my future husband's exact words to me during our brief dating period were - "this is a God thing, Baby." I did not share those words anywhere but on my Blog - Holland (to the best of my knowledge) has never read my Blog, then or now; remarriage did take place π; and my world was rocked … sometimes in good way , sometimes not so good.
Now, there are no heart-shaped rocks popping up during turbulent times, when love was sorely needed to be experienced … there are heart-shaped clouds in the sky above me; without fail, those clouds were always present as we traveled along on our Road Gypsy journeys, over the past 29 months.
When my earth husband was distant, my heavenly Husband was always reminding me that He is near, sees me, loves me, and comforts me: "For your Maker is your husband - the Lord Almighty is His Name - the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth." (Isaiah 54:5)
So, Holland can rail at me.
He can ignore me.
He can place others before me.
But Elohim will have His way concerning this thing between US.
I wait for the Day Elohim brings Holland to his knees, and replaces his hard heart with a heart that will become responsive, gentle, and open to serious change so we can really start to live a Life of purpose according to the Plan Elohim has for US: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh" (Ezekiel 36:26) & "I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them; and I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh" (Ezekiel 11:19).
On another note - I try to get to the Ladies Bible Study in Rosburg when we are back in WA State - but so far, I have only been able to make one meet (May 15th); allergies and 4x maintenance appointments have so far kept me from making another meet. In the meantime, the arguing between us never ends: and it always centers around his Kelso family and Woodland friend. I really need those fellowship meets! It's my Self-care Day that I can just relax for a few hours, and get a break from the wordy barrage of nonsense.
Please Yeshua! Heal my poor body so I can get to Fellowship sometime soon. In the meantime, phone tag between a dear Friend and myself, is taking place while we are both laid low:
And I'm also spending time toning up while being housebound:
I am not going to sit around and cry this year while waiting for the stone to crack …
POISONOUS LEAVES; Ocean Park-WA
Building a New Life is difficult. There are a lot of starts that fizzle out and go up in smoke.
Embarking on a new marriage journey, following a 44 year marriage has a lot of smokey fizzles; I was used to a settled atmosphere, knowing where I stood with my husband, who I was, and what my purpose was in that life we had built together.
This marriage with Holland is very complex π and daily confusing. This marriage is really pretty new: 29 months old, to be exact. I’m still trying to find where I {fit} - or if I'll ever fit. Do I even want to fit? At this age, is it absolutely imperative that I be in these people's company to keep my marriage healthy? At what cost do we keep our lives separate? I've never been in any relationship that compares with this one I am in, right now π
There is no real connection with any of them. On any level. When Holland deems to include me in the visitations, they sit around talking about the Past - a Past I was not part of (thank the Lord!), rehashing incidents I'm better off not knowing about, and competing with victimhood complaints. It's isolating. It's annoying. The remembrances - to my point of view, are hair raising, at times. Overall, it's ridiculously time wasting. There is no real connection with any of them. On any level.
At home, I'm tired of all the 6 week blowouts π€¬ that never seem to solve anything, after the smoke clears. I'm not used to all the shouting, the stonewalling, the angry silences, blatant disrespect, or the poisoned leaves effect. I'm not used to any of the atmospheric chaos π€ , or the stressful fallout, I've been living with the past 29 months.
I like a quieter, more relaxed vibe π©❤️ππ¨ I like living a life that does not teeter on rebellious adventures, dangerous pursuits, or criminal activity.
Holland and his family thrive on adrenaline rushes - some of the stuff I've heard! I am thankful I didn't know Holland any earlier - and I really wish he'd stop talking about those earlier days, distance himself from the adrenaline junkies, and settle into a more mature lifestyle. NONE of what I've seen or heard is Christian behavior … despite his parents having been in the ministry, his uncle pastoring a family church - and his uncle's daughter hosting Bible Studies, a great nephew being a youth pastor & music leader, or his nephew recently acquiring a pastoral position: n.o.n.e. of these people should be in a ministering position π³π€ Nada.
Building a New Life is difficult. Marriage can be challenging - marriage can also be a calling … and I'm beginning to think this marriage is exactly that. So, the other day, when obedience was once more brought into the heated exchange, I said, "I am obeying! I'm still here: trust me, I am in full obedience π in where Elohim wants me to be. Apparently He thinks I'm badass enough to stick it out to the bitter end!"
Today, I worked a little more on my latest WIP (work in progress) ✂️π, responded to a text from a friend π, & engaged in body toning π️♀️ ; redirecting my mind is a saving grace π
Building a New Life is difficult ππ€¦π»♀️
These past 29 months have been difficult at times ππ€πππππ©Ή
But with Elohim's faithfulness, and Yeshua's healing, hope hovers π️
Tuesday, June 3, 2025
WEDNESDAY BIBLE STUDY/2 TIMOTHY ~ Chapter 3
This portion of *Paul's 2 Timothy Epistle highlights his urgency to prepare and encourage **Timothy for a deeper and stronger grasp of his work concerning #The Faith. In this letter, Paul anticipates a time of growing apostasy (withdrawl, relapse, backsliding = betrayal) and wickedness (actions, thoughts, and intentions that are morally wrong and evil; going against ***Elohim's Will and righteousness = the opposite of righteousness that embraces a way of life characterized by sin, rebelliousness, and a disregard for justice and virtue) when men and women will be increasingly susceptible to empty religiosity & false teaching (3:1 thru 9). Arrogance (overbearing pride; an arrogant person sees themselves as better than others and may exaggerate their self-importance) and godlessness (a mode of thinking or being that excludes Elohim from life and ignores or perhaps even deliberately violates Elohim's laws and commandments = godless or ungodly persons are those who live, act, and think as though Elohim can be ignored or spurned) will breed (bring forth; increase) further deception & persecution; but Timothy must not waver (be be uncertain about what you think, or feel, about something or someone) in using the Scripture to combat doctrinal error & moral evil (3:10 thru 17). The Scriptures are inspired by Elohim, and with them Timothy is equipped to carry out the ministry to which he was called.
********************
Wednesday Bible Study/2 TIMOTHY ~ Chapter 3
Coming of Apostasy
(vv. 1 thru 9)
"But know this - that in the last days, perilous (hazardous, insecure, dangerous; times of stress) times will come: for men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters (bragger, gaslighter, egoist = strutting peacock), proud, blasphemers (disrespector, irreligionist = atheist, heathen, pagan; unchristian), disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers (false teachers speaking false doctrine; liar), without self-control, brutal, despisers of good (people who show disrespect or hate for what is considered virtuous, moral, or beneficial = people who don't want to live right and hate everyone who does), traitors (a sellout to the enemy), headstrong (determined to have their own way and unwilling to listen to advice or consider other perspectives; stubborn and resolute, pushing forward with their own ideas even when wrong), haughty (have a big attitude and acting better than other people; overbearing, prideful, swaggering, and obnoxious), lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of Elohim, having a form of godliness (the reverent awareness of Elohim's sovereignty over every aspect of life, and the attendant determination to honor Him in all one's conduct) but denying its power (the ****Ruach HaKo'desh = baptism of the Holy Ghost, Acts 1); from such people, turn away!
For of this sort (a person having the stated, or suggested character) are those who creep into households and make captives (being controlled by a situation or emotions) of gullible women (easily deceived or tricked because they are too trusting and willing to believe what others say without questioning or critical thinking = naΓ―ve, innocent, or unsuspecting, making them vulnerable to scams, misinformation, and manipulation) loaded down with sins (these false teachers, driven by lust and sin, seek to control and manipulate those they have influenced), led astray by various lusts (Matthew 23:14), always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the Truth (1 Timothy 2:4). Now as ^Jannes & ^^Jambres resisted (violated, opposed, defied) Moses, so do these also resist the truth: men of corrupt (immoral, perverse, greedy) minds, disapproved (frown upon; object to; go against) concerning the Faith (Exodus 7:11, 12 & 22; 8:7 - Romans 1:28 & 1 Timothy 6:5): but they will progress no further, for their folly (a lack of good sense or judgment; foolish or misguided behavior, actions, or beliefs) will be manifest (make it clear or evident; to show it plainly; to bring it into physical reality through thought and action) to all, as theirs also was (Exodus 7:11 & 12; 8:18 & 9:11).
Confronting (face to face conflict of opposing ideas) Apostasy
(vv. 10 thru 17)
But you have carefully (a thorough, attentive, or painstaking way; giving thought to avoiding errors) followed my doctrine (teaching; belief; rule), manner of life, faith, long-suffering (having or showing patience in spite of troubles, especially those caused by other people), love, perseverance (the ability to keep doing something in spite of obstacles), persecutions (punishment or harassment usually of a severe nature on the basis of race, religion, or political opinion), & afflictions (great distress, pain, or suffering), which happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, at Lystra - what persecutions I have endured (tolerate; hold out, or put up with something unpleasant). And out of them all the *****Lord delivered ( rescued, and saved) me (1 Timothy 4:6).
Yes, and all who desire to live godly in *****Yeshua Ha'Mashiach will suffer persecutions (Psalm 34:19). But evil (harmful; sinful = morally wrong or bad, and often involving harm or suffering; causing pain & misfortune = tragedy, tribulation) men and imposters (somebody who pretends to be somebody or or something that they are not) will grow worse & worse, deceiving and being deceived (2 Thessalonians 2:11).
But as for you, continue in the things which you have learned and have been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have know the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise (deep understanding, keen discernment, & a capacity for sound judgment) for salvation through faith which is in Yeshua Ha'Mashiach (John 5:39). All Scripture is given by inspiration (comes from the Latin word “inspiratus,” which essentially means “breathe into.” It has been said that, before this literal meaning, the word inspiration had a theological basis that predated this definition. It initially referred to the influence of a divine entity on a person; a force or influence that inspires) of Elohim, and is profitable for doctrine; for reproof (scolding; rebuke), for correction, for instruction in righteousness (generally refers to a person's moral character, their ability to act justly and correctly, & speaks to their relationship with Elohim), that the man of God may be complete (having all parts or elements; lacking nothing; whole; entire = unbroken), thoroughly equipped (possessing the necessary tools, knowledge, skills, and qualities to effectively accomplish a task, or succeed in a particular situation) for every good work (to do something very well; supportive environment with constructive relationships; good works include acts of love, charity, and service to others, as well as being faithful to one's calling)."
*Apostle Paul = known as Saul before he converted to Christianity (Acts 9), was the chief killer of Christians following Yeshua’s death, resurrection, and ascension – being the foremost witness to the stoning of Stephen (Acts 7).
The Apostle Paul was one of the most influential leaders of the early Christian Church. He played a crucial role in spreading the gospel to the Gentiles (non-Jews) during the first century, and his missionary journeys took him all throughout the Roman empire.
Apostle (/ΙΛpΙsΙl/) = in its literal sense, is an emissary. The word is derived from Ancient Greek αΌΟΟΟΟΞΏΞ»ΞΏΟ (apΓ³stolos), literally "one who is sent off", itself derived from the verb αΌΟΞΏΟΟΞλλΡιν (apostΓ©llein), "to send off". The purpose of such sending off is usually to convey a message, and thus "messenger" is a common alternative translation; other common translations include "ambassador" and "envoy".
Apostle in the Gospels is one of an authoritative New Testament group sent out to preach the gospel and made up especially of Christ's 12 original disciples and Paul.
**Timothy = son of the devout Jewish woman, Eunice, and a Greek father, Timothy became a follower of Yeshua Ha’Mashiach when Apostle Paul preached the Gospel in Lystra, Timothy’s hometown. Paul invited the young convert to accompany him on his second missionary journey; and was sent to Thessalonica to strengthen the fellowship there. After another journey with Paul, Timothy was sent to Corinth to straighten out some problems upsetting the fellowship there.
Timothy later looked after Paul during Paul’s imprisonment. Timothy subsequently was asked to go to Ephesus to represent Paul, and received the two letters from Paul that bear Timothy’s Name. Timothy – these letters reveal, was like a son to Paul.
The last word in the New Covenant about this sensitive, sickly, but faithful young helper was that he was imprisoned but finally released. Acts 16:1, 17:14-15, 18:5, 19:22 & 20:4; Romans 16:21; 1 Corinthians 4;17 & 16:10; 2 Corinthians1:1 & 19; Colossians 1:1; 1 Thessalonians 1:1, 3:2, & 6; 2 Thessalonians 1:1; 1 & 2 Timothy; Philemon 1; and Hebrews 13:23.
***Elohim (Hebrew: ΧֱΧֹΧִΧΧ, romanized: ΚΎּlΕhΔ«m: (eloΛ(h)im) is a Hebrew word meaning "Gods – Father, Son, & Holy Spirit". Although the word is plural in form, in the Hebrew Bible it usually refers to a single deity “Behold, the Lord – the Lord is One”, particularly the God of Israel.
****Ruach HaKo'desh (The Hebrew language phrase ruach ha-kodesh is pronounced ROO-akh-KOH-desh: Χ¨ΧΧ ΧΧ§ΧΧΧ©, "holy spirit" also transliterated ruaαΈ₯ ha-qodesh) is used in the Hebrew Bible and Jewish writings to refer to the spirit of YHWH (Χ¨ΧΧ ΧΧΧΧ); the Holy Spirit occurs 90 times in the Brit Chadashah. Luke 3:16; Ephesians 1:13, & 4:30; 1 Thessalonians 4:8; Titus 3:5; 1 Corinthians 6:9; & Jude 1:20.
The New Testament is called the B'rit Chadashah in Hebrew, meaning "New Covenant" (the word B'rit means "covenant" and Chadashah means "new").
*****Lord = Jesus Christ (in Greek: Kyrios IΔsous Christos) = the most formal title for Jesus (Yeshua). It occurs often in the New Testament letters.
The word “Lord” has a wide range of uses; it can be a simple respectful “Sir” or a more formal, “Master.” But the New Testament also uses “Lord” of God. The word “Christ” is the anglicized form of the Greek word meaning “anointed one” or “Messiah.” “Lord Jesus Christ” reminds us that Jesus is both the promised Messiah and our God.
Yeshua Ha’Mashiach: is Hebrew for “Jesus the Messiah”; the name Jesus is the Greek form of the Hebrew name Yeshua.
Christ (from the Hebrew word, Ha’Mashiach ΧΧ©ΧΧ’ ΧΧΧ©ΧΧ & the Greek word, Christos/khris-tos) = The Anointed, Yeshua the Messiah, in both languages.
#The Faith = represents the specific doctrines, teachings, and beliefs that distinguish Christianity from other religions. It includes the core beliefs about God, Jesus, the Bible, salvation, and the afterlife.
It's not just a personal belief, but a shared understanding and tradition within the Christian community.
^Jannes: the name tradition assigned to one of the magicians in the pharaoh's court when Moses & Aaron came to require the release of the children of Abraham; Jannes is not mentioned by name in the Old Testament at all … the Apostle Paul supplies the names of Jannes & Jambres, who tried to thwart Moses' & Aaron's mission by pitting their secret arts magic against Elohim's power, before pharaoh (Exodus 7:10-12).
A "name tradition" refers to the customary practices, beliefs, or rituals surrounding the giving and use of names within a particular culture, family, or group. These traditions can vary widely, encompassing aspects like the timing of naming ceremonies, the selection of names based on lineage, religious beliefs, or other cultural significance, and the meaning associated with different names.
^^Jambres: refer to Jannes, above.
**Wednesday Bible Study/2 TIMOTHY ~ Chapter 2: https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/05/wednesday-bible-study2-timothy-chapter-2.html
















































