He is wanting to do more Road Gypsy adventuring with me; and he really is the best person for me to adventure with - even when I'm distancing from him for peace's sake … he is diligently searching the internet for interesting places to stake our pegs and explore, making sure I have a hiking trail to walk. He's even talking about getting another dog to keep me company (really for his peace of mind while I'm out and about in the wilds, on my own) - a dog that will have a calmer personality than Bleu did: we loved having Bleu, but he tore Holland's arms and feet up something terrible with his toenails; toenails he wouldn't let anyone close to with clippers.
We will be enjoying more road trips.
We'll see about the dog …
We both have trust & abandonment issues that trip us up when stressors overwhelm our circuits. When life slides sideways & overwhelms, Holland gets domineering … and I get defiant: and the marriage gets sidetracked (distracted from the main purpose, or course; in essence, it gets delayed from what was originally intended).
We are actually both in the wrong.
When a Taurus bull & a Capricorn goat butt heads, love gets challenged.
But in the end, we both know neither of us are going anywhere. We are 2 best friends that love each other - and are caught in a whirlwind moment that feels overwhelmingly daunting, in the moment. We also know that these moments - intense as they can be - are fleeting, and not as frequent as they may feel when we are caught [in the moment]. Holland's stress overload cools quicker than mine; and he easily blows off the heated words. It takes me longer to cool down; and quite a while to forget the words and overlook the heat behind them.
I want to talk the issue out, to sort it out and lay it to rest: he does not. He refers to let things ride until they coast to a slow and easy stop by themselves - I want to talk it out, and apply the brakes as soon as possible to avoid further pitfalls: letting things ride only prolongs the heat instead of turning it off. MPO
However, I do understand that defusing the heat before talking, touching, or enjoying a drive together is the way he tamps down his trigger points. I am learning that when he says, "We need time apart! You're impossible!" - he isn't leaving permanently, he's just going for a cool down drive; and by "impossible", he means he isn't getting his way in that particular moment. Because of his TBI, the angry words and domineering behavior is loud and intense … but so is the flipside of that: he's ready to make up, forget the anger, and move forward as soon as the blue smoke clears. He's confused as to why I am stalling his "good intentions".
But he is beginning to understand that my need to initiate an immediate talk session during - or following - a heated back and forth word war, is my way seeking assurances that our unity is not seriously broken. When I say, "don't touch me" after a particularly ugly heated battle of the wills, I'm not pushing him away indefinitely … I just need space to bury the hurt feelings & soothe my soul. I don't want to be touched in the moment - I do not want to be placated. I don't want my feelings to be manipulated: I want to be heard. I want to be respected. I'm going to need time before I get friendly again.
This will all eventually be worked out peacefully; we are, after all, still newlyweds. We are still in the finding out about each other phase of marriage. Marriage is a new experience for Holland.
We are both damaged souls from serious traumas throughout our separate lives. We have differing views on just bout everything - and that is the complication driving everything 😟
We both know why we react the way we do … and we both look towards the Day we will understand what trips each other's triggers, so we can be wiser in how we react when life overwhelms our circuits.
We are both survivors - we know how to adjust and get what we want out of Life.
We actually do have more good times than we have challenging times.
Maybe it will be fun dating my husband; the dating period between that first coffee date, and the marriage trip to Reno-NV was very brief. We wouldn't be the 1st married couple that needs a "getting to know you" introduction period of after-the-fact-dating 😉
"Stepping things up" in this realm of Life, could be a very pleasant undertaking that leads to a peaceful, happy, domesticity 🙏🩹💘🕊️👩❤️💋👨
As I set the soup pot on the hot plate, I received a text from a friend:
"The Last Rapture Sign Just Appeared" – John MacArthur THE BEST MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS3V0qc5wpU)
I listened to the video while Supper simmered, and my hands kept the yarn moving smoothly along the WIP I hope to have done, soon …
Stew simmering, & working on my WIP to the backbeat of raindrops tap-dancing across Independence's roof.Husband says, 'it's a repeat' ;-)
VAL'S UPGRADED 4PATRIOTS FIRESIDE STEW Recipe; Ocean Park-WA: (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/06/vals-upgraded-4patriots-fireside-stew.html)
Then, following Supper, I received another text - it appears there is a "stepping up" happening in another realm of Life, also:
News Report on US Strike on iranian Nuclear Sites follows at end of this Posting …
And I closed this "stepping up" Shabbat, with a peaceful turning of the calendar page; with a prayer for peace, and a hope for substantial stability concerning all angles and levels of my Life 👊
*************************
‘Totally Obliterated’: Read Trump’s Remarks After US Strikes Iran Nuclear Sites
~The Sacramento Bee Updated June 21, 2025 8:01 PM
The text of President Donald Trump’s address Saturday, June 21, 2025, from the East Room of the White House following the announcement of a U.S. bomber strike on three nuclear sites in Iran:
{{“A short time ago, the U.S. military carried out massive precision strikes on the three key nuclear facilities in the Iranian regime: Fordow, Natanz, and Esfahan. Everybody heard those names for years as they built this horribly destructive enterprise.
“Our objective was the destruction of Iran’s nuclear enrichment capacity and a stop to the nuclear threat posed by the world’s number one state sponsor of terror.
Tonight, I can report to the world that the strikes were a spectacular military success. Iran’s key nuclear enrichment facilities have been completely and totally obliterated. Iran, the bully of the Middle East, must now make peace. If they do not, future attacks will be far greater and a lot easier.
For 40 years, Iran has been saying, ‘Death to America,’ ‘Death to Israel.’ They have been killing our people, blowing off their arms, blowing off their legs with roadside bombs. That was their specialty. We lost over a thousand people. And hundreds of thousands throughout the Middle East and around the world have died as a direct result of their hate. In particular, so many were killed by their general, Qasem Soleimani.
I decided a long time ago that I would not let this happen. It will not continue.
I want to thank and congratulate Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu. We worked as a team like perhaps no team has ever worked before. And we’ve gone a long way to erasing this horrible threat to Israel. I want to thank the Israeli military for the wonderful job they’ve done.
And most importantly, I want to congratulate the great American patriots who flew those magnificent machines tonight and all of the United States military on an operation the likes of which the world has not seen in many, many decades. Hopefully, we will no longer need their services in this capacity. I hope that’s so. I hope.
I also want to congratulate the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Dan ‘Razin’ Caine. Spectacular general. And all of the brilliant military minds involved in this attack.
With all of that being said, this cannot continue. There will be either peace or there will be tragedy for Iran far greater than we have witnessed over the last eight days. Remember, there are many targets left. Tonight’s was the most difficult of them all by far, and perhaps the most lethal.
But if peace does not come quickly, we will go after those other targets with precision, speed and skill. Most of them can be taken out in a matter of minutes. There’s no military in the world that could have done what we did tonight. Not even close. There has never been a military that could do what took place just a little while ago.
Tomorrow, General Caine (and) Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth will have a press conference at 8 a.m. at the Pentagon.
And I want to just thank everybody and in particular, God. I want to just say, we love you, God, and we love our great military. Protect them.
God bless the Middle East, God bless Israel, and God bless America.
Thank you very much. Thank you.”}}
~This story was originally published June 21, 2025 at 7:25 PM.
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