STEPPING THINGS UP & US Warning to iran; Ocean Park-WA

June 21st: It rained all night - and all day, here in Ocean Park-WA

I woke up listening to the raindrops tap-dancing across the roof overhead … and decided to make a quick stew for Supper 👍

So, while my chosen flavor of coffee dripped into my coffee mug, I gathered all the ingredients I would need, and prepared them ahead of time to cut down on standing in the kitchen around Supper time:

Ingredients for my version of Fireside Stew made with 4Patriots dry mix …

I also bounced a thought back and forth in my head. I have been focusing on the negative aspect of Holland's preference to "just be friends" in this weird marriage … he does have TBI combined with PTSD - and I do have PTSD: communication & reception can often suffer sporadic static.

I've been [taking space] after the last sporadic static; and he's been making moves to "make things right" by initiating short dating episodes. At first I was angrily annoyed. Then, I thawed some - after all, we do miss each other's company. Maybe it will be fun dating my husband 😉 - perhaps the faults he has as a husband will shine as virtues in a boyfriend 😂🤣

What Are the 40 Virtues? (Full List): https://www.familiesofcharacter.com/blogs/virtue/what-are-the-40-virtues-full-list

Kenny Loggins - "Meet Me Halfway" Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MBWSwO91hdQ)

As a friend, we are best friends despite the marriage static. As a boyfriend, he was calm and relaxed. As a husband he put himself under enormous pressure … the fallout from his familial dysfunction was always in high gear. Yes - maybe reverting back to Friend & Boyfriend status for the time being will actually be best for both of us, until he feels comfortable and confident enough to step things up to Husband status without feeling like he's straining against a choke collar.

Tim McGraw - 'My Best Friend' Lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRJ0lpu6XaU)

He is wanting to do more Road Gypsy adventuring with me; and he really is the best person for me to adventure with - even when I'm distancing from him for peace's sake … he is diligently searching the internet for interesting places to stake our pegs and explore, making sure I have a hiking trail to walk. He's even talking about getting another dog to keep me company (really for his peace of mind while I'm out and about in the wilds, on my own) - a dog that will have a calmer personality than Bleu did: we loved having Bleu, but he tore Holland's arms and feet up something terrible with his toenails; toenails he wouldn't let anyone close to with clippers.

We will be enjoying more road trips.

We'll see about the dog …

We both have trust & abandonment issues that trip us up when stressors overwhelm our circuits. When life slides sideways & overwhelms, Holland gets domineering … and I get defiant: and the marriage gets sidetracked (distracted from the main purpose, or course; in essence, it gets delayed from what was originally intended).

We are actually both in the wrong.

When a Taurus bull & a Capricorn goat butt heads, love gets challenged.

But in the end, we both know neither of us are going anywhere. We are 2 best friends that love each other - and are caught in a whirlwind moment that feels overwhelmingly daunting, in the moment. We also know that these moments - intense as they can be - are fleeting, and not as frequent as they may feel when we are caught [in the moment]. Holland's stress overload cools quicker than mine; and he easily blows off the heated words. It takes me longer to cool down; and quite a while to forget the words and overlook the heat behind them.

I want to talk the issue out, to sort it out and lay it to rest: he does not. He refers to let things ride until they coast to a slow and easy stop by themselves - I want to talk it out, and apply the brakes as soon as possible to avoid further pitfalls: letting things ride only prolongs the heat instead of turning it off. MPO

However, I do understand that defusing the heat before talking, touching, or enjoying a drive together is the way he tamps down his trigger points. I am learning that when he says, "We need time apart! You're impossible!" - he isn't leaving permanently, he's just going for a cool down drive; and by "impossible", he means he isn't getting his way in that particular moment. Because of his TBI, the angry words and domineering behavior is loud and intense … but so is the flipside of that: he's ready to make up, forget the anger, and move forward as soon as the blue smoke clears. He's confused as to why I am stalling his "good intentions".

But he is beginning to understand that my need to initiate an immediate talk session during - or following - a heated back and forth word war, is my way seeking assurances that our unity is not seriously broken. When I say, "don't touch me" after a particularly ugly heated battle of the wills, I'm not pushing him away indefinitely … I just need space to bury the hurt feelings & soothe my soul. I don't want to be touched in the moment - I do not want to be placated. I don't want my feelings to be manipulated: I want to be heard. I want to be respected. I'm going to need time before I get friendly again.

This will all eventually be worked out peacefully; we are, after all, still newlyweds. We are still in the finding out about each other phase of marriage. Marriage is a new experience for Holland.

We are both damaged souls from serious traumas throughout our separate lives. We have differing views on just bout everything - and that is the complication driving everything 😟

We both know why we react the way we do … and we both look towards the Day we will understand what trips each other's triggers, so we can be wiser in how we react when life overwhelms our circuits.

We are both survivors - we know how to adjust and get what we want out of Life.

We actually do have more good times than we have challenging times.

Maybe it will be fun dating my husband; the dating period between that first coffee date, and the marriage trip to Reno-NV was very brief. We wouldn't be the 1st married couple that needs a "getting to know you" introduction period of after-the-fact-dating 😉

"Stepping things up" in this realm of Life, could be a very pleasant undertaking that leads to a peaceful, happy, domesticity 🙏🩹💘🕊️👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

As I set the soup pot on the hot plate, I received a text from a friend:

"The Last Rapture Sign Just Appeared" – John MacArthur THE BEST MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS3V0qc5wpU)

I listened to the video while Supper simmered, and my hands kept the yarn moving smoothly along the WIP I hope to have done, soon …

Stew simmering, & working on my WIP to the backbeat of raindrops tap-dancing across Independence's roof.

Husband says, 'it's a repeat' ;-)

VAL'S UPGRADED 4PATRIOTS FIRESIDE STEW Recipe; Ocean Park-WA: (https://roadgypsiesvalandholland.blogspot.com/2025/06/vals-upgraded-4patriots-fireside-stew.html)

Then, following Supper, I received another text - it appears there is a "stepping up" happening in another realm of Life, also:

News Report on US Strike on iranian Nuclear Sites follows at end of this Posting …

And I closed this "stepping up" Shabbat, with a peaceful turning of the calendar page; with a prayer for peace, and a hope for substantial stability concerning all angles and levels of my Life 👊

*************************

‘Totally Obliterated’: Read Trump’s Remarks After US Strikes Iran Nuclear Sites

~The Sacramento Bee Updated June 21, 2025 8:01 PM

The text of President Donald Trump’s address Saturday, June 21, 2025, from the East Room of the White House following the announcement of a U.S. bomber strike on three nuclear sites in Iran: 

{{“A short time ago, the U.S. military carried out massive precision strikes on the three key nuclear facilities in the Iranian regime: Fordow, Natanz, and Esfahan. Everybody heard those names for years as they built this horribly destructive enterprise.

“Our objective was the destruction of Iran’s nuclear enrichment capacity and a stop to the nuclear threat posed by the world’s number one state sponsor of terror.

Tonight, I can report to the world that the strikes were a spectacular military success. Iran’s key nuclear enrichment facilities have been completely and totally obliterated. Iran, the bully of the Middle East, must now make peace. If they do not, future attacks will be far greater and a lot easier.

For 40 years, Iran has been saying, ‘Death to America,’ ‘Death to Israel.’ They have been killing our people, blowing off their arms, blowing off their legs with roadside bombs. That was their specialty. We lost over a thousand people. And hundreds of thousands throughout the Middle East and around the world have died as a direct result of their hate. In particular, so many were killed by their general, Qasem Soleimani.

I decided a long time ago that I would not let this happen. It will not continue.

I want to thank and congratulate Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu. We worked as a team like perhaps no team has ever worked before. And we’ve gone a long way to erasing this horrible threat to Israel. I want to thank the Israeli military for the wonderful job they’ve done.

And most importantly, I want to congratulate the great American patriots who flew those magnificent machines tonight and all of the United States military on an operation the likes of which the world has not seen in many, many decades. Hopefully, we will no longer need their services in this capacity. I hope that’s so. I hope.

I also want to congratulate the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Dan ‘Razin’ Caine. Spectacular general. And all of the brilliant military minds involved in this attack.

With all of that being said, this cannot continue. There will be either peace or there will be tragedy for Iran far greater than we have witnessed over the last eight days. Remember, there are many targets left. Tonight’s was the most difficult of them all by far, and perhaps the most lethal.

But if peace does not come quickly, we will go after those other targets with precision, speed and skill. Most of them can be taken out in a matter of minutes. There’s no military in the world that could have done what we did tonight. Not even close. There has never been a military that could do what took place just a little while ago.

Tomorrow, General Caine (and) Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth will have a press conference at 8 a.m. at the Pentagon.

And I want to just thank everybody and in particular, God. I want to just say, we love you, God, and we love our great military. Protect them.

God bless the Middle East, God bless Israel, and God bless America.

Thank you very much. Thank you.”}}

~This story was originally published June 21, 2025 at 7:25 PM.

AGREEABLE MOMENTS; Fortuna-AZ

In the wee early morning hours of today, I spent 2 hours on the phone listening, soothing, and trying to give helpful suggestions to a family member bent on self-destruction. When the call was accidentally terminated on the other end, I went to bed with a prayer on my lips and a hurting heart - this person, who I love very much, will end up dying of alcoholism: they will die because they do not really want help. They want a sympathizer … and I cannot do that. I can listen to them. I can offer words of support and encouragement (I steer away from advise, because advise will lead to verbal combativeness); but I cannot - and I will not - sympathize. Sympathy will only complicate an already complicated situation; and I am not going to engage in endless looping arguments where someone tries to justify bad behavior. And I am also not going to rush anywhere to engage in adult babysitting activities with a person who wants to self-destruct.

I'm done with death: I'm not even doing the Angel Babies projects anymore - I stopped that a few weeks ago: all the contact info was deleted from my phones, online accounts, address books, ect. I.a.m.d.o.n.e.w.i.t.h.d.e.a.t.h.

Another morning call came just before noon - when we both woke up; when the call ended about half an hour later, I asked my husband to pray with me for devine intervention, protection, and safe keeping … and sent out a Prayer Line S.O.S. Then, Holland went after a bucket of chicken for supper. He is a good husband.

And we have worked out an agreeable solution to melding our life together: there will be times when we, in our togetherness journey, will feel the need for some personal solitude - and red-head-hot-tempered angst does not have to be the catalyst (we have both had red in our hair, before our heads started sporting all this silvery-threaded-grey 😉)

I have no problem being alone. I was alone much of my life before Bob was a part of my life; and I was alone many times throughout that 44 marriage when job contracts took Bob away from home for 23 days most months - for months on end, several years running.

I was alone much of my life before Holland was part of my life; and I have been alone a great deal of the 2 years we've been married - because Holland had a hard time adjusting to what married life actually means.

Personally, when pain is not spurring the solitude, I enjoy intervals of solitude; so, now when Holland (or I ) feel pressed on by 4 walls and cabin fever … we'll agreeably claim a day or two of solitude, where I will retreat to the spare room. Anger is not the catalyst, anymore - but a building migraine pressing either of our temples, will eventually lead to verbal sparring 😤 Retreat is a good move in that moment of time ✌️

It's an agreeable moment 🤝

Thank the Lord we have finally reached this place 😁

Life is so much better when understanding is understood 😘

The room suddenly feels larger (it isn't, actually; but there is 1 less body in it 😑). Chatter is silenced. He can listen to his head-banging angry degenerate "music" - and watch his chosen YouTube selections … and I, likewise, can listen to my low-key, toned down, love and peace vintage 1960's-70's music … and watch vintage blank-n-white movies that actually have storylines that do not include the 1990's genre of aimless and clueless ho's and ho-down's. I do occasionally watch a vintage 1970's movie, but really by the 1970's, movies were becoming more of a political soapbox arena rather than an entertaining genre. I am selective in what I run past my eyes and through my ears: if I want to be depressed or fill my eyes with bloody gore, I'd skip movies entirely and just surf the {news} channels, like Holland does.

That agreeable moment has put the "happy" back into our relationship ❤️

It's not that I want to be ignorant - I don't: I stay "updated" enough to know what's going on … BUT unless the current "news flash!" specifically involves US, or our current physical location … I'm no longer interested in feeding at the daily news swill bucket that keeps the masses at a constant fever pitch, ready to rumble at the slightest disagreement 🤥 😤 😒 😭

I like a tranquil, peace-vibe, cozy-home environment.

I the comforting companionship of quiet evenings at home. 

I like a laid-back togetherness Day; either a mutual "let's stay home and veg all day" … or a spontaneous "my Baby needs to get out of the house" Daytrip.

I like the companionship of planning fun, care-free, exciting, adventurous, exploratory, & informative places to visit; that become amazing experiences to live on in memories: Holland does extensive internet searches; and finds the most interesting things for us to do 😁 👍🥰

But, I also like bumming around the house all day; bare-faced, and in pajamas with my husband – just because we can 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

Agreeable moments are liberating experiences.

Today is National Freedom Day - I also like that; I like that We, The People have with the 2025 Presidential Election Vote reclaimed our National Freedom. And, I keep in mind that Elohim is still in control 😁

At the beginning of this week, I posted the first of 52 notes of encouragement for 2025 (1 note for the start of every week). This morning's phone call started this past week's contemplations:

{{This Week: Transition = opportunity to trust Elohim/grow in Faith; Change = Holy; Pray = bold & specific prayers/listen for Elohim's guidance; make diligent Plans = flexible spirit to include Elohim's agenda/His ways higher than mine; nourish my spirt with Ruach HaKo'desh = unconditional agape love; Praise Elohei for my current Season = proclaim hope for the next; accept Elohim's favor, peace, & rest in my life}}

I believe 2025 will be a very good Year, in very good ways, for a very special purpose ❤️‍ ☝️

A MARRYING MAN; Fortuna-AZ

Bob & I were married 4 months into our relationship (he was talking marriage and kids in 2 months time): our marriage lasted 44 years - it ended when the Grim Reaper came calling.

Holland and I were married a little under a month following our 1st Coffee Date: he was talking marriage right off the bat … but, we'd known each other 18 months before that first date - and he'd been waiting for me, 33 years, to arrive on the scene 😍. He figured he'd waited long enough 😉

Marrying men want to get married; they don't want to wait … too much can happen in a year - 2 years - 3 years. Men who want to set up house to "see if we're compatible", are never going to get married to the woman they are shacking up with: they don't have to, they already have her in their corral. They just want a secured bed mate while they keep shopping for the illusive 'perfect woman'.

Illusions aren't reality.

A marrying man; proposal 6 mos or less …

Marriage is the 'getting to know' phase - that's where marital growth & unity takes root; where loyalties are forged.

Clint & Lisa Black - “When I Said I Do”: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgalAdgEd-E)

A procrastinator is not a marrying man.

I never stepped out with anyone I didn't consider marital material, so when both men proposed early in the Game, I didn't mind. I didn't mind because I am not a stupid person - I know that people put their best foot forward and show only the best sides of themselves when stepping out … it isn't until they get married and start showing ALL of themselves 😳🤬😭💔 that wrinkles show up and need to get ironed out 🙏✌️ to make the picture perfect 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨😉

We're still hanging tough❤️‍🩹

We both made a commitment 💘; loyalty is important to both of us. Loyalty is not always an easy, paved, road. There are a lot of obstacles, rocky roadways, and heavy loads involved in loyalties.

The first 7 years with Bob were hard ones due to alcohol and drug addiction. It wasn't until 1981 that Bob sobered up and won the victory over addictions; that was the year our marriage really became the one we'd hoped for when we pledged our lives to each other in 1974.

Holland and I, have admittedly, had a rough 2 years. But love was never the issue between us … and the issues are 1 by 1 being dealt with. We both have every confidence that should Elohim bless us with 20 more years, we'll sail through them - enjoying the marriage we both came into this union believing we could have together 😘

Blake Shelton - 'God Gave Me You' lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGXHWqlH_dc)

2024's VICTORY happened in Woodland-WA - started with a major blow out over Vicodin addiction; and wrapped up, here in AZ, with Holland saying "No" to drugs in any form. MAJOR, major 👏👏 I'm so proud of him 😘

And, Elohim has new Friends - TRUE friends - waiting for him: he just has to be open to those new friends with new Life concepts. It will happen 🙏☝️

Marriage means new friendships - new boundaries. Commitment to your spouse. We're still wading our way through this one, but I think Holland is beginning to realize Past {friendships} do not serve him beneficially in the Present. A New Life requires a New Mindset.

Elohim has been very favorable to me the majority of my Life. He has twice blessed me with good men than have been for the most part, good for me. I am a strong-minded woman with a strong will to match - I need a strong man to keep me grounded. I've been highly favored with the choices Elohim made for me in that regard.

A strong man is a marrying man.

Clint Black - "Something That We Do" song: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQE3DiWbIwY

A marrying man knows what he wants - and he'll do what he needs to do to keep it 😉

OLEQUA HEIGHTS-WA

July 2nd: This morning I was drinking my second cup of coffee; and six pages into a new novel, when Holland shut his laptop and said, "How about we take a drive to Olequa and explore the power line road, as soon as you finish your coffee and change out of your p.j.'s?"

(((YES - and thank you!)))

We had explored another Olequa road a couple days ago … but this one would be different: this one would be on the backside of familial compound boundaries.

Holland's family ranch is at the end of Olequa Road, and I've been curious about the gravel road that spurs off at the junction just before turning onto the Redmill property.

Holland has talked a lot about the {power line road}, ever since I've known him; I'm more than ready to be included in his special place adventuring - I drained my cup quickly, got dressed in record time, and we were soon pointing Betsy's nose toward the anticipated destination ;-)

New read …

Olequa Heights Rd-WA from Woodland-WA ; 42 min (36.0 mi) via I-5 N and Westside Hwy

Woodland has prepared for this Holiday's festivities ;-)

We drove the freeway to Castle Rock, and took our time enjoying a lazy drive up Westside Highway to Olequa. While driving, Holland gave me a background history lesson on Olequa … and he told me about an Indian burial ground that is there, too (maybe we'll go back and visit that, at another time).

Apparently, Olequa was a hub of activity in it's heyday - but the only reminder that it ever existed is the few places where the Name is highlighted (History notations, street signs, home addresses, the Senior Center, and a Farm, in Winlock-WA).

I was fascinated by the historical tidbits Holland was feeding me - and I researched it when we got back from our adventuring.

Olequa Indians/History of Olequa: (https://www.pacific-hwy.net/olequa.htm#:~:text=There%20used%20to%20be%20a,live%20in%20and%20around%20Olequa. & https://www.pacific-hwy.net/pumphery.htm)

Holland turned off a side road at the lower end of Olequa Road instead of the upper end I was expecting … another surprise road.

I like adventuresome surprises :-)

I am pleased to be included in Holland's carefully guarded Life; Holland does not easily share his private life, and he's slow to include newcomers (aka: anyone who did not grow up with him). I've only known Holland for a short period of time - and we've been married less than that. Basically, he still regards me as a newcomer in his Life.

But today, he is making a serious effort to remedy that. He is sorry that he has made me to feel like an outsider in the Life we are attempting to build. He was surprised when I unloaded a lot of hurt feelings on him this month - and he is sorry that he took his insecurities and withdrawal pain out on me.

We have both apologized - we have both forgiven each other for things said and done in the heat of angry moments during the entire month of June.

He is vowing to be a better partner; less apt to push my buttons or foist unrealistic expectations on me (or US) … and to stop throwing the D-Word into every disagreement. In short, after seriously rereading the FB posts, and viewing the hurt from my perspective of why they were necessary to make known, he has been making every effort to show me that he is serious about {going the Lifelong Distance}.

And, I am vowing to tamp my redhead temper down and be a gentler wife; kinder, and less apt to fight mean and dirty when Holland's attitude triggers mine.

He is working hard to make US a priority; and I am learning to trust (I trust Elohim 100% - it's trusting people that trips me up: Elohim doesn't lie, people do). I can't honestly say that actual trust was broken; what I am saying is that I'm finding out things about him as time moves forward, that I am finding difficult to understand or accept.

BUT

All things are possible through Christ Jesus: and He is Who we are trusting as we come together to repair the cracks that have riddled this marriage.

We love each other, despite the complicated circumstances of this marriage. Our home has to be our safe place - even during disagreements. Our home has to be a place of inclusion in each other's life; Holland is not used to sharing his Life with anyone: I'm pretty sure that even those closest to him, from the Past, aren't as close as they think they are. Holland is the most walled-off person I've ever met.

But he has taken pains to include me today, and I am grateful. This is a serious happening and I am feeling blessed by the inclusion.

Holland is going to show me one of his past favorite haunts :-)

The sound of crunching gravel as we climbed the winding dirt road was music to my ears, the atmosphere was warm, and great swaths of foxglove (purple, pink, white, & bi-color) bloomed along the way.

I love foxgloves … and have planted them in flowerbeds at several homes, throughout the decades.

Two does passed right in front of us … Holland spotted them first, and called my attention to them.

They weren't off the road too far - I quietly urged them to go deeper into the side growth.

A doe with twin fawns … sorry about the jittery vid - Holland kept creeping forward :-(

I'm glad Holland has decided to 'stick'; and I'm glad he is feeling comfortable enough to share his special places with me.

I was in dirt road Heaven; and Holland was relaxed knowing that I was enjoying the ride :-)

We talked, we made plans, we laughed, we listened to Supertramp songs, and we thoroughly enjoyed that forested dirt road.

When we reached the top of the steep Olequa terrain, we got out of Betsy and enjoyed the wild beauty of the area: I understood why this place holds a special place in Holland's Life.

I was glad I was standing there, soaking it all in - the beauty, the sounds, the scents, the sharing.

I'm easily pleased ;-)

Holland's special place is simply beautiful, peaceful, and warmly inviting.

The overlook was engaging; Vader and outlying areas.

Then, as we were settling back into Betsy's cab, Holland's phone rang. He's been busy this past week with a side job. I waited until he read the text - and was prepared to beat feet back to town … but instead, Holland shut his phone off after reading the text, and said, "I'll take care of this later." I said, "You've been waiting for this call - we can go back into town." He looked at me, and said, "This is our time, Baby - just me and you; if I call this guy back and he doesn't answer right away, it will be an all day long phone tag thing. I don't want anything to cut into you and me, today; I'll get back to him later on."

Wow.

He really is serious about "making things right, Baby."

The sounds of the forest - the scent, and the intent; healing rode the gentle breeze.

Supertramp - 'Give A Little Bit': 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_leMA3_maBU)

Coming back down the incline, I noticed something I had missed before, because it was on the driver's side going up - so, I said, "Stop! I want to see this pretty thing, up close!" I wasn't being bossy; I just didn't want to use too many words that would eat up time and get us further away from the pretty thing ;-)

A pretty, wildflower, 'Toughleaf Iris'; it seemed so out of place in this wild place of evergreens, foxgloves, daisies, and dandelions: there were 2 of them, close together.

This forest adventuring was fun - and in a sense, cathartic.

As we exited the dirt road where we made new memories and pledges, we both felt the liberating effects of leaving lingering shadows behind us.

Today's adventure end was really the beginning; I'm glad I came :-)

On the way back to Woodland, Holland suggested we stop by Popeye's and grab some chicken to eat with our supper salad :-)

I had seen butterflies flitting among the wild daisies in the forest; but it wasn't until we were waiting for our meal pickup in Popeye's parking lot that a big blue dragonfly appeared to bolster hope, and drive home a gentle admonishment for both of us …

Relax and go with the flow of Elohim's Plan.

Fried Chicken for Supper - oh, yeah ;- )