CAN WE NORMALIZE NOT HAVING A BEST FRIEND?

YES! Please. Adults are supposed to move past elementary, grade, & high school nonsense. Why do 50 & 40-someone's want to remain children forever?

Can we normalize not having a best friend?

No ride or die.

No “she’s like a sister to me.”

Can we normalize not having one friend who does it all, stays forever, knows us inside and out and fills every need we have?

Can we please?

Because most people might not find the Monica to their Rachel, the Laverne to their Shirley, the Christina to their Meredith and that’s okay.

It doesn’t mean they’re doing something wrong.

It doesn’t mean they’re missing out on friendship.

It doesn’t mean they’re lacking anything in any way.

We’ve simply glamorized the bestie to the point where everything else seems like an utter disappointment.

Having a small circle of good friends—that’s a huge deal. Having people who know you and care about you and include you is a huge deal. Having people you can turn to when you need them is a huge deal.

Some people are going to have a lifelong bestie and that’s awesome, but most of us aren’t and that’s awesome too.

Friendship in any form is something to be grateful for. It’s something to give thanks for. It’s something to hold dear.

Let’s connect with people.

Let’s laugh with them.

Let’s be there for them and let’s let them be there for us and let’s let that be enough.

Enough with this bestie or bust culture.

There are so many forms of friendship worth celebrating.

YOU'RE NOT MY FRIEND, IF ...; Castle Rock-WA

Truth.

For me, it is better to be hurt with an unpleasant truth - than to be lied to, "to protect" me. I'm not protected if I'm kept in the dark about situations I need to be aware of … or, treated like a child "for your own good": ignorance is not good. The truth eventually comes out, and the pain caused by that happenstance is far worse than knowing it in the beginning.

Friends don't silently stand by when someone is trashing you - at least, I don't. If someone starts bad mouthing one of my friends to me, I will shut them down; immediately, saying, "That's my friend you're gossiping about. I don't want to hear it." Or … if they won't shut their mouth, I will just herd them towards the door, and say again, "That's my friend you're gossiping about. I don't want to hear it."

If I am suspicious of a friend's friend, who is behaving like a suspicious person trying to be [a friend] - but actually just a rotten tomato phishing for juicy tidbits to spread across the county … I will deliberately feed them the tidbit they are angling for: it won't be true, but they will be true to their nature. In this way, when the gossip finds it's way back to me via the gossip grapevine … I will know exactly how the tale originated & who started the mouthy wildfire. I can't help who my friends hang with apart from me - BUT I can help who gets close to me. And sometimes, a little heavy pruning needs to be done; I don't have a problem cutting problematic branches off.

I can overlook ignorance; but I can never overlook deliberate cruelty. Like I mentioned before - I can't help who my friends hang with apart from me - BUT I can help how it affects me. It tells me a lot about a person when they can continue a tight friendship with someone who deliberately goes out of their way to make me look like a fool, feel inadequate, or totally shut out of the equation. That all of THAT is allowed to continue because "they're my friend, too" … then, I can (and do!) walk away from disloyalty, disrespect, and intolerance = in short, betrayal.

I know my worth.

And I expect my Friends to know that worth also. 

SMALL ACTIONS/BIG DIFFERENCE~Shabbanukkah; Coalinga-CA

6th night.

My alarm went off at 6 AM ⏰ this morning, but it was so cold 🧦 … I just turned it off, burrowed deeper into the warm blankets 🛌💤 and woke up 2 hours later 😉 I made a cup of coffee, munched on a few pieces of crisped bacon, and got busy; I only have a week to get another Baby Box filled 🎁 & dropped in Hanford, before we leave Coalinga for Barstow 🗺️

We'll be leaving the bone-aching chill behind 😱🦁💎, and chasing the sunshine 🌞💞

A family in need will have at least 1 item of preemie clothing that won't cost them a king's ransom to receive 💝

Small actions that make a big difference 😘

When Holland woke up and fueled up with his morning joy juice ☕️, he made phone contact ✔️ with old friends 🤝 & promises were made to hook up 📅🤞 while on the road as we pass 🚘🏔️ through their corner 🗺️ of the world 🌎; they sound like fun guys 😂🤣🤠 - I'm glad for my husband 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨

While Holland talked & laughed with old friends … I finished 🧵✂️  one little hoodie, and started another.

Small actions: big difference 😊

Button holes & button placements laid out …

FINISHED - now, to get busy on a boy's hoodie.

And I ✝️ ended the evening mentally blessing 🙏 every Jew everywhere enjoying this 6th night of Shabbat-Hanukkah festivities ☝️✡️🕎🕯️

The Maccabeats - Candlelight, Hanukkah: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSJCSR4MuhU)

A MARRYING MAN; Fortuna-AZ

Bob & I were married 4 months into our relationship (he was talking marriage and kids in 2 months time): our marriage lasted 44 years - it ended when the Grim Reaper came calling.

Holland and I were married a little under a month following our 1st Coffee Date: he was talking marriage right off the bat … but, we'd known each other 18 months before that first date - and he'd been waiting for me, 33 years, to arrive on the scene 😍. He figured he'd waited long enough 😉

Marrying men want to get married; they don't want to wait … too much can happen in a year - 2 years - 3 years. Men who want to set up house to "see if we're compatible", are never going to get married to the woman they are shacking up with: they don't have to, they already have her in their corral. They just want a secured bed mate while they keep shopping for the illusive 'perfect woman'.

Illusions aren't reality.

A marrying man; proposal 6 mos or less …

Marriage is the 'getting to know' phase - that's where marital growth & unity takes root; where loyalties are forged.

Clint & Lisa Black - “When I Said I Do”: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgalAdgEd-E)

A procrastinator is not a marrying man.

I never stepped out with anyone I didn't consider marital material, so when both men proposed early in the Game, I didn't mind. I didn't mind because I am not a stupid person - I know that people put their best foot forward and show only the best sides of themselves when stepping out … it isn't until they get married and start showing ALL of themselves 😳🤬😭💔 that wrinkles show up and need to get ironed out 🙏✌️ to make the picture perfect 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨😉

We're still hanging tough❤️‍🩹

We both made a commitment 💘; loyalty is important to both of us. Loyalty is not always an easy, paved, road. There are a lot of obstacles, rocky roadways, and heavy loads involved in loyalties.

The first 7 years with Bob were hard ones due to alcohol and drug addiction. It wasn't until 1981 that Bob sobered up and won the victory over addictions; that was the year our marriage really became the one we'd hoped for when we pledged our lives to each other in 1974.

Holland and I, have admittedly, had a rough 2 years. But love was never the issue between us … and the issues are 1 by 1 being dealt with. We both have every confidence that should Elohim bless us with 20 more years, we'll sail through them - enjoying the marriage we both came into this union believing we could have together 😘

Blake Shelton - 'God Gave Me You' lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGXHWqlH_dc)

2024's VICTORY happened in Woodland-WA - started with a major blow out over Vicodin addiction; and wrapped up, here in AZ, with Holland saying "No" to drugs in any form. MAJOR, major 👏👏 I'm so proud of him 😘

And, Elohim has new Friends - TRUE friends - waiting for him: he just has to be open to those new friends with new Life concepts. It will happen 🙏☝️

Marriage means new friendships - new boundaries. Commitment to your spouse. We're still wading our way through this one, but I think Holland is beginning to realize Past {friendships} do not serve him beneficially in the Present. A New Life requires a New Mindset.

Elohim has been very favorable to me the majority of my Life. He has twice blessed me with good men than have been for the most part, good for me. I am a strong-minded woman with a strong will to match - I need a strong man to keep me grounded. I've been highly favored with the choices Elohim made for me in that regard.

A strong man is a marrying man.

Clint Black - "Something That We Do" song: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQE3DiWbIwY

A marrying man knows what he wants - and he'll do what he needs to do to keep it 😉

PERSPECTIVE

Our Day started at 4 AM this morning: Holland had a doctor's appointment for cortisone shots in both knees this morning at 8 AM: in Longview - about an hour and a half away.

We were on the road by 5 AM.

Holland opted to drive the Oregon side because it would save 20 minutes drive time. I agreed because it was pitch black, and there would be no scenic views to enjoy ;-)

We had hoped to spend time with friends following the early morning appointment …

Longview-WA from Long Beach-WA; 1 hr. 31 min (69.1 mi) via US-30 E

Pam's text yesterday; we had been planning this get-together for months …

I was also looking forward to a hazelnut latte from my favorite Coffee Shack in Longview, so I brought my thermos travel mug with me.

I will not be doing that again. Since State wages went up, the price of fancy coffee is outrageous.

Nearly $8!!! This spendy pampering of self will end; the Scotch DNA in me, was feeling the pinch.

Holland made his appointment on time … but disappointment was there too: there was a snafu between what Holland was expecting, and what his doctor was prepared to do.

He did not get the relieving cortisone shots :-(

I was as upset as he was because I had heard him make the appointment weeks ago; and he specifically said he wanted cortisone shots on both knees. His doctor was set up to give him a shot in his shoulder (which he declined), and said she didn't "do knees" - she sent him across the way to have X-rays taken (probably won't get those results until Monday), and he will have to make an appointment himself after the X-ray results come in, with {someone who does knees}.

The medical field is ridiculous. The unnecessary added expense is not necessary. It's a cortisone shot! It doesn't require a freaking "specialist". Any doctor can give those shots, for Pete's sake :-(

He was bummed. His knees are on fire with pain.

I was bummed. There is no logical reason his doctor could not have given him relief from the pain; outsourcing stinks.

We focused our mindset on "everything happens for a reason." We don't have to know the why's … we just have to trust that Elohim knows why ;-)

Change of plans …

And we drove to the P.O. to retrieve our 6-month's worth of mail …

6 months of junk mail; bought to me in a tote ;-)

On our way through Kelso, I noticed a new sign at a church Holland's cousin is attending - and wondered if the church had changed hands: the Name on the sign was unrecognizable.

Curiosity … I asked Crystal about it.

We also were treated to another death-wish driver, crossing from Kelso to Longview …

It was raining heavily - and the crazy woman driver literally waited until the last possible moment to shoot her car out in front of us. WTH; she may have a death wish, but we do not :-(

We were not hauling Independence behind us today, but still!

Death-wish drivers. Ugh!!!

The rest of the drive through Longview was uneventful.

But there was road work being done on Ocean Beach Highway.

Again.

I though maybe more of the rocky hillside in Stella had fallen down and needed to be cleared: instead, trees had blown down and needed to be removed and hauled away.

Tree removal near Stella-WA, on Ocean Beach Highway.

We had picked up some salads for David before leaving Longview, so I shot him a text letting him know they were in the process of being ferried to him ;-)

We drove home on the WA side of the Columbia River. I suspect Holland did this so I could enjoy the rural scenery. Crossing KM "mountain" was clear driving - and when we drove through Rosburg, I pointed out the Valley Church there, and said maybe while we're in the vicinity, I'd drive to a few Thursday Bible Studies there and catch up on the lives of the women who attend (my friends, Ramona and Becky, being 2 of the 24 gathered). I am friendly with everyone there, but Ramona and Becky have made a place for me in their lives, and I miss spending time with them.

David wasn't in when we arrived in Long Beach, so I put the salads in his  'fridge, and brought stew home to be enjoyed: I also noticed two new things acquired since the last time we spent time here with him …

Text to David.

We ate, relaxed, and reflected on the Day.

Perspective came into play, and we'll drive back into Longview tomorrow to pick up the prescriptions Holland needs, visit with friends, and finish the business wrap-ups we didn't get to today. Contemplating today's happenstances through a zoomed out perspective, tensions eased and things seemed doable again.

Hopefully Monday will give us an appointment for the shots that will ease the painful knee burn.

Holland caught up on the sleep he didn't get last night … and Bleu & I visited with David for an hour and a half before hitting the hay for a good night's rest, myself ;-)

Tonight's moon phase is the 'Waxing Gibbons'; which covers a gambit of happenings in our life at the moment.

Waxing Gibbous Moon Phase: The waxing gibbous phase signals redirection, adjustment, and flexibility. Your plans are being challenged, and your patience is being tested. Be flexible. Have gratitude for this moment and look for signs and signals that are directing you to the best course of action.

Amen!

HOLIDAY CHEER~Shabbat, Yuma-AZ

This morning we were driving into town to Walgreen's, in hopes of finding a stabilizing knee brace for Holland. I asked Elohim to provide a brace (2, if possible) while shutting lights off, and following Holland and Bleu out the door.

Cheerfully walking from our space patio to our 4x, we met the neighbors (new arrivals last night: two couples/2 sisters and their husbands), and visited for about a good half hour before we drove into town - they are from Wenatchee-WA … which has at least a foot of snow, as of this morning: they are friendly and companionably.

Holland was surprised I took to them so easily, and the convo flowed so smoothly - I normally avoid spur-of-the-moment interactions with strangers, but I just smiled, and said, "It's all about the vibes they give out; I felt comfortable with these people and their cheerful vibes" ;-)

In town, we were able to find and purchase two knee braces - the perfect Shabbat blessing, for this Shabbat :-)

Holland wants to join me on walkabouts, and this brace will help.

Bought 2 knee braces at Walgreen's, uptown; it's perfect for the need. Holland's knee feels a whole lot better.

When we got back home, I asked Holland to drop me off at the Resort Office, on his way to our space. I wanted to pick up December's  Activities Flyer … and check out the on-site activities locations.

Everything is within walking distance; and in a circular location in the Del Pueblo Resort Plaza.

I found the Craft Room, but I'll pass; it's basically a sewing circle thing.

I found the Hair Salon; it was closed for the weekend.

I found the Gym, and liked what I saw; I'll be utilizing it :-)

I'm gonna like working out, in here; with Holland, or solo lobo ;-)

A few of the Flyer activities look interesting too, especially the Sunday Services, in the Rec Room. On-site, we can dress casual … and leave, if necessary, when Holland's pain flares up.

When I got home, Holland already had coffee perking on the range - the house was infused with percolating holiday scent; a love gift, perfect for my Shabbat Rest :-)

I spent the rest of my Shabbat Rest enjoying tasty coffee, lazily working on my holiday project, and watching holiday movies.

Drinking 'Holiday Blend' coffee, & using Crystal's 2022 Christmas Gift ;-)

Cardboard outlined … and holiday project underway ;-)

Holiday Project pieces whipstiched together.

The Lord Bless You And Keep You~Aaronic Blessing: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-eHCxMM3PI)

Today was a good Shabbat :-)

HOLIDAY SEASON ~ 2023

Today I took the packages I wrapped the other night, to the UPS Store.

13 minutes from our front door.

Alone.

On a city roadway - not a freeway, but wider than any 'regular road' I've ever driven. It was a little intimidating, but Elohim was faithful to infuse my spirit with "peace that passes all understanding" :-)

Holland would have joined me, but I need to know how to navigate these addresses on my own. I want him to know that when I strike out on my own (as I'll have to eventually - grocery shopping, clothes shopping, ect.), I'll get from A to B without getting lost.

So, Holland and Bleu stayed home … and I learned to blend with frog-hopping traffic, without suffering a migraine headache.

Going to the UPS Store today for shipping.

A 7-lane roadway … and I'm peaceful while driving it; Elohim really worked a miracle with me on this ;-)

I got a text from Pam showing me the tree she has this year, replacing the big one she usually puts up - and that text inspired me to design something for our Yuma Holiday Season~2023 :-)

Pam's tree.

Packages stamped and sent off, I drove home to pick Holland and Bleu up, for a trip to Wal*Mart; and as I drove I thought how comfortable I was driving this extra-large 'highway' in Yuma: I also thought of how comfortable I am considering Yuma my new hometown (city, actually - and I'm okay with that!). I've always avoided cities, and never ever thought I'd be comfortable living in one, but I really do feel that I could be very happy living here, in Yuma-AZ.

I like the laid-back atmosphere. I like the gentle, swaying palm trees. I like the weather. I like the excitement of starting a new life, in a new place; I like the adventure a new life embraces.

Holland was surprised - but happy too - when I mentioned that to him, at home. He likes Arizona: and I know we'll be spending at least six months here, every year - longer stays are totally doable :-)

We spent big at Wal*Mart: correction - I spent big. But in my defense, it's the holiday season ;-)

We got the groceries went for … and a "few extra's": a perking coffee pot we've been looking for in every Wal*Mart, from coast to coast. A coffee grinder to grind the beans we bought a few weeks ago, that will smell and taste wonderful using that perking coffee pot, tomorrow morning. I also bought 2 skeins of yarn to use for the holiday project I have imagined completed; I'm in the process now of designing it as I work it into being (no, I'm not telling - you will know when it's completed ;-)). And I saw a heated massaging pad and a heated massaging foot bath tub, that I bought on the spur-of-the-moment for Holland; the heated pad will help relax his aching back … and it will also keep him warm into the wee early morning hours, when he's being a night owl; and the heated foot bath will also add comfort. And I grabbed some holiday trims to liven up our living quarters this holiday season - we don't do the santa thing or the tree thing, but pretty lights for my birthday month will go up … and the other holiday trims will be used to trim my current project, underway. On our way home, we stopped and grabbed a chinese supper to eat at home.

We did spend big today.

But it is the holiday season: and the big items that came home with us were reasonably priced, and can be used all year/every year as long as they last.

We spent big this holiday season, but we keep an eye on the bottom line, and aren't seriously hurting money-wise. We can afford to add a little comfort to our lives, at this stage of our lives :-)

A 'holiday' something for Holland.

'East Asian Buffet' Supper; more American than Asian, but still good.

A perking coffee pot that we can use outdoors, too ;-)

Coffee grinder.

Trims for this 2023 holiday season …

Elmo & Patsy - 'Percy the Puny Poinsettia' 1979 song:  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jisjx9r_mmM)

Seasonal project underway.