YOU & I = COMPLICATED; Ocean Park-WA

Even though we are stepping back from marriage complications, Holland and I are retaining our friendship bond.

It's complicated.

The main thing Holland keeps carping about is religion - we both have pretty strong opinions concerning what we believe. Personally I have come to the conclusion that Holland was literally born into a cultic religious atmosphere, and never really had his own personal {come to Jesus moment}; every time he starts talking about the redmill religion, my conclusion is reaffirmed anew.

I, on the other hand, "came to Jesus" in the Winter of 1964 while hearing a sermon in Grand Rapids-MN, on the love of God … and knew I wanted that: I gave my heart to Jesus right then and there; and was water baptized at Bible Summer Camp in the summer of 1965. I knew what I was doing - no one else in my family were Christians, so I was not influenced, coerced, or birthed into a religious home atmosphere. My salvation was purely the real deal.

I am not stretching the truth when I say that 95% of all of the arguments between Holland and I stem from Holland's twisted religiology. And while I understand also his reluctance to face the realities of the redmill religion (both his parents, his grandparents, and 4 of his siblings have since passed from this life to the next - without actual salvation knowledge) … because then he'd have to face the very real realities that they may be lost forever if they weren't able to square things up with Jesus before their last breath  - I can't in all good conscience acknowledge the redmill religion as valid, simply to keep the peace between us.

So, Holland says "we will agree to disagree" - and I say, "we will agree not to speak about religion; Christianity, yes: religion, no." Of course, he will still try … but I will no longer engage in vineyard-related wordfare; it's an endless loop argument that only sparks a wildfire of raging emotions.

Hence the current in-house separation situation where we are living together under the same roof; yet falling back on our best friend status until Holland feels more comfortable in a deeper committed marital relationship that does not involve ultra-right conservative vineyard BS. It sounds weird because it is weird. But it also makes sense to me because I understand how Holland's mind works = his really does believe that marriage is a battlefield where men are victims of a nagging woman who is untrustworthy: but best friends are compassionate and "all in". He was reared in a bad marriage(s) environment, and only a revelation from Elohim will snap him out of it.

I haven't had a {friends with benefits} relationship … but if that mindset will work between us and maintain a peaceful atmosphere in our home, I'm game. We are first and foremost Best Friends, so falling back into that familiar groove is not a hardship for either of us. We know we're married, and we have the paper to prove it when flashing the paper is necessary. Plus, I know that he'll never betray me by stepping outside the marriage boundary lines - he may falter in faithfulness to Elohim & His Word, but I know Holland will never be unfaithful to me. And I know too, that Holland will eventually be 100% saved; I can play his relationship game until he's ready to be "all in" in our marriage without feeling like he's fighting against a choke collar ;-)

The silence was getting to him, so he asked me to go for a drive with him this afternoon: I agreed. My leg is feeling better, and I wanted to get out of the house. We have Independence scheduled for an inspection appointment Thursday morning; so, we tracked down that address first, before heading to the beach.

We drove all the way down the beach, from Seaview beach approach to Beard's Hallow in Ilwaco. Neither of us had been there in years; it was fun, all the way around :-)

Beard's Hollow; Ilwaco-WA from Seaview Approach

Kites; Seaview Beach-WA

ALL the seagulls on the beach - coming and going - were sitting or walking on the sand - none were flying; Seaview-WA

Orleans - 'Still The One' lyrics: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5aMMRes2u4)

I was glad my leg was behaving, and that I was able to get down the house steps (and back up, again) - and in and out of Betsy with ease.

Holland made a great tasting BLT for supper; and I started another angel baby blanket.

There is always Hope, backed by love.

There is always a blessing in every Day.

BEST FRIENDS FIRST; Ocean Park-WA

I was up early this morning, enjoying early morning coffee and silence as I cruised the Internet; and I smiled when I saw that my MOD Angel Baby Blankets Post had been featured on one of the Blog Hop sites I frequent - and I finished 2 more over the last couple days ;-)

MOD ABB Post was featured ;-)

I'm also reflecting on my go silent undertaking; I won't engage in verbal battles anymore. I want to live a peaceful life.

Holland is sorry for his angry and frustrated outburst - and I have forgiven him; but I am still going to be silent a while longer, and try to cultivate a quieter demeanor. I know that I am a whole lot of woman; and a lot to handle at times. Sometimes I'm even too much for myself … and I have lived with Holland long enough now to know that the {spiciness} he found charming in the beginning of our relationship doesn't tickle his funny bone anymore. What he thought was cute when we were just best friends, has him grinding his teeth now that we are married.

So, during this quiet time we are both going to be working on ourselves; he's gonna work on being less macho-man, and I'm going to work on a quieter demeanor.

We are first and foremost each other's best friend - that sounds strange I know considering the steady bickering; but it's true. We developed a strong friendship immediately when our paths crossed in the Fall of 2021, and over the months we became Best Friends.

Our marriage may have it's sketchy moments, but we will always be best friends. Holland can't stand it when I go silent - but he doesn't like it when I talk too much (I did warn him before we married, that I can be a 'Chatty Cathy'). He gets a bang out my spicy feistiness, but he doesn't want a steady sampling of it - and my saucy sarcastic humor can irritate him (he wants a quieter demeanor once in a while).

Because we spend considerably more time with our spouse than we do with anyone else … more arguments, more irritation, and more joint challenges will pop up than in any other relationship we have in our life.

The flip side of that, is that even with all the angst he has to sort through during this time of in-house-separation, he has stated that he wants this marriage to work because he misses his best friend (me); and he is still wanting to continue traveling to places neither one of us have ever been before - the most important place he's never been is happily married, and he's genuinely wanting to make a deeper connection to living together on every level, than just sharing living space together.

That's a major shift for him - and a welcome goal to me :-)

So, he's been going out of his way to apologize and {make things right} - without verbalizing he's sorry: that's his way. And, I have forgiven him.

We do have some good & happy times together, we are companiable more times than we are in opposition; we agree that we will "absolutely" spend the rest of our life together - and he is actively cultivating the same tenderness in our marriage that he tended to in our friendship over the past two and a half years.

We are first and foremost each other's best friend; and we miss that connectivity when chaos creeps in and diverts our thoughts and attentions into a different direction than US.

We are taking one day at a time; change doesn't happen instantly.

In the meantime, I am doing what makes me happy: visiting gal pals when I can, working on new designs, and cuddling up with Clive Cussler on cold, wet, and windy nights ;-)

My latest Clive Cussler novel; a good read on a rainy night ;-)

ISRAEL DESERVES PEACE & RECOGNITION AS VALID

The EU is siding with the NONexistent {palestine} and INvalid {palestinians} against Israel's right to The Land, as well as Israel's right to be acknowledged as legal citizens and landholders of Israel land … which includes Gaza.

Seven european countries have also joined forces with the arab terrorists making global demands to favor themselves while boldly calling for inhalations of Israelis and Americans. These seven countries that favor terrorists, terrorism, and the whole-sale nazi tactics genocide are (1) sweden (2) bulgaria (3) hungary (4) poland (5) romania (6) slovakia & (7) cyrus.

Take note of them and their disastrously wicked decision because they won't be around much longer - Scripture is CLEAR: those who take a stand and go to war against Israel will perish … Zechariah 12:9-10, 13:1 & 11; Romans 11:25-26.

Israel has the promises of preservation and blessing.

People should take heed and tread carefully when dealing with Israeli issues: Elohim is on their side, and Israel is the "apple of His eye".

STROKE (Signs of)

Stroke has a new indicator: the medical field says that they now have a 4th Indicator - the Tongue.

If too much time passes between the onset of a stroke and the outcome of a stroke, death will occur. But some stroke victims do not die right away - they end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours, he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke … totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and the patient medically cared for within 3 hours; which is tough to do is you do not know the signs.

It only takes a minute to read this … and pass it along.

>>RECOGNIZING A STROKE<<

Thank God for the sense to remember the '3' Steps (STR): read and learn!

Sometimes the symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify.

Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now, doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S *Ask the individual to SMILE.

T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE CHERENTLY (i.e. "Chicken Soup")

R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS

If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these simple tasks, call the emergency number immediately, and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.

NOTE: New Sign of a Stroke --- Stick out Your Tongue

Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: ask the person to stick out his or her tongue; of the tongue is 'crooked' - if it goes to one side or the other - that is an indication of a stroke.

A cardiologist says if you forward this information, at least one life could be saved.

BLOGGER TRANSITION FRUSTRATIONS

I may be closing my Blogger Account - the new format they are using is not working for me: all day yesterday I tried to upload a new post … and again this morning, I have tried to upload a post: nothing I do is working, so (1) copy and paste feature has been discontinued, or (2) their new format will not recognize my Documents format and kicks it out.

It's very frustrating; I am a simple person with limited computer knowledge: everything the "helps" is supposed to help, is beyond me to understand.

Copy and paste works for me because I like dinking around with text colors (can't do this anymore with today's new format!) - black ink just doesn't cut it for me. I like COLOR in my world. I also like to add pictures, quotes, and videos to my posts. I am not happy with this new format … it cuts out everything I like to do

I like using my older Documents Program because it is quick, easy to understand, and it is simple to use. The newer "updated" Documents Programs are too convoluted with unnecessary crap traps, and they don't have many Font Styles to use.

I will continue throughout this week to upload posts to my Blog - but if, by this time next week it's still a "no go", then I will be closing my Blogger Site. This will make me sad as I have blogged my Daily Life happenings since 2001 (I've been on FB just about as long): I like sharing my Life, and it is encouraging to me that others like my sharing and some have actually benefitted (and contacted me to say so) from my Homeschooling, Homesteading, Thursday Bible Studies, Bazaar & Online Business years, My Own Designs knitting & crochet pattern Posts, Widowing Posts (my Blogging was literally my Lifeline during those hard years of life without Bob in it), Solo Lobo Growth (my awakening to a New Life - spreading my wings - and slowly allowing a new man into my Life), Remarriage Posts (the good, the bad, and the ugly days), & our Road Gypsy Journeys throughout the years.

Blogger is an old blogging system, and many of my Blogger Friends and Acquaintances have shifted to Word Press; I am not sure I want to go that route.

And perhaps this snafu with Blogger is a blessing in disguise: whereas Bob never had a problem with my blogging shares of our Life … Holland has never been comfortable with the openness of what, and how, I share about our Life - he is a very private person and likes to keep our life low-key. Holland will probably throw a Celebration Party if I close my Blogger Site … I don't know what I will do with myself: I need to be engaging on some level in sharing daily activities.

Change is hard for me; I accept that sometime change is necessary - but I also know that I do not transition very well.

HEARTBREAK IS A REAL KILLER~Ocean Park-WA

Last year I actually experienced this experience twice … once this year; the chest pain always followed stressful interactions with Holland.

All three times I felt like I was having actual heart attacks (I am of "that age" where heart attacks will strike), or severe angina attacks (which I suffer frequently).

All three times, I said "the stress has to end because my heart can't take the elevated emotional pressure of this constant fighting with you." Baby  aspirin is a band-aid "fix" - and it does absolutely nothing to eliminate the stressful situations fighting drags into my life.

Asia The Science Of Heartbreak: 

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGglw8eAikY)

The only other stressor that ever put pressure on my poor heart was Bob's final death in December of 2018; since making a conscious decision to eliminate ALL stressors in our life following Bob's death and resurrection in 1981 (Drs. didn't know what had caused his death, or why he suddenly came back to life after being coded and loaded up for a ride to the morgue, & I didn't want to chance another hair-raising incident) - I deliberately culled people, situations, or circumstances that would bring or harbor stress in our life. Peace and a tranquil home life was paramount; people and things were secondary if they caused more harm then benefit.

I know there is a medically acknowledged experience appropriately named Heartbreak Syndrome (I researched it when one of the widows in a Widow Group brought it up): IT IS AS REAL and AS POTENT as A HEART ATTACK, because it IS an attack on the heart.

So, I made a conscious decision last night, following yet another rift with my new husband, that I CHOOSE SILENCE until the stupid and nonsensical fighting stops. I can't change the was he was reared, BUT I CAN CHANGE the way I allow that dysfunction to affect MY Life.

I choose Life.

I choose peace against all odds.

My heart muscle is chancy enough; I don't need the excess stress.

I choose silence concerning interactions with my new husband: this choice is not made out of meanness … it is made out of a will to live happily, joyfully, and FULLY the few years I have left to walk this Earth.

Holland has to decide for himself if he will walk those years with me. Beside me. With me. Honoring and respecting me.

CHOOSING SILENCE; Ocean Park-WA