Hi 👋 We're Val & Holland Redmill … living our Life Story as silver-haired Road Gypsies in our 5th wheel RV Home~40 months married & 60,000 miles traveled across America; covered in grace every Day & trying mightily not to lose our sanctification during the bad & ugly times. I post everywhere - about everything: and if what I post can help someone else, I'm glad for the experience. But from sunrise to sunset, we live our Life for US. Trusting Elohim every step of the way.
I don't like being hoodwinked by delusional liars.
Buffy Sainte-Marie has been apart of my life for just about as long as I've been alive: my beatnik mother actually met her … and her tunes flitted through the house, along with other folk singers like Woody Guthrie (who my father actually met), and Pete Seeger.
I was more familiar with Arlo Guthrie, Bob Dylan, and Joan Baez 😉
But I liked Buffy, too.
I like Indian music: XIT, Redbone, and Buffy; Buffy's songs got me through the hard times of 2019 - 2022.
I always secretly hoped that at 84, I'd look as well preserved as Buffy 😉
Wikipedia has already updated their Page; stating publicly that she is a bona fide LIAR: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffy_Sainte-Marie
What I learned infuriates me!
Poor Holland - he's had to listen to me for hours, trying to come to terms with what I've learned. And bless him - he has been helpful in helping me process the 60-year delusional lies.
Listening to her own videos where she tries to make what she did seem okay, it is clear to me that she is a cold-hearted bitch that has lost touch with reality. This is a hard realization for me; but it is what it is. I vacillated most of the evening between anger, tears, head-shaking, and feeling sorry for a woman who feels no shame at all for what she has done.
All for the sake of money and fame.
This song, that I listened to most of 2019 & 2020 speaks of strength, honesty, and truth.
Obviously Buffy is not familiar with any of it …
Buffy Sainte-Marie & Tanya Tagaq "You Got To Run (Spirit Of The Wind)" song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5zb0WTSLsY)
This woman I had always considered a strong woman actually has a very weak-spine. A coward that feels no remorse.
This woman who claims she is a compassionate empath, is actually a cold-hearted narcissist.
This woman who claims she is all about peace, love, and harmony; has caused hateful chaos, has no conception at all of what love is, and is singing a sour tune as she tries to continue selling her lies.
It's all so SAD.
Buffy is 84 years old: she is looking eternity in the face, and feels no shame at all for the damages she has wrought.
The proofs of her lies are glaringly obvious; there is NO SANE WAY she can refute any of it - and yet she tries.
Her Birth Certificate (that she claims does not exist) CLEARLY STATES that she is Italian and English; not Native American. She was not adopted (as she has claimed for 60 years), and she was not the child of an unwed Indian mother. She DID marry an Indian for a brief period of time, and her son is half Indian … but Buffy, herself, does not have a drop of Indian blood in her veins - despite her calculated appearance.
I like Indian music: but I don't think I can ever again hear another Buffy song.
My BIL Rick, posted this song on his FB Page - and as I have Blackfoot DNA, a Grandson-in-Law who is Native American, a niece who is Piute Indian, and a dear friend who is Cowlitz Indian … as well as a new husband who is Cherokee Indian (and possibly also Blackfoot, like me) - I thought I'd share the song :-)
'Indian Reservation' song | Paul Revere and the Raiders | Lyrics:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fhf_u0M6k9k)
Holland's family has Indian Nation ties, too; though they did not grow up on a reservation: they had their own family business, and Holland's mother found land in Vader-WA .. that the family bought, and turned into a Ranch. Holland talks about spending time there throughout his life - and I've been there many times, with him and with Crystal.
Holland was very close with his Grandparents.
They loved his Mother, Ruth, like a daughter.
Holland's Grandparents; Father, & Aunts; Holland was named after his Grandfather, Holland (aka, 'Blackie').
Holland, 27 yrs. In this picture of Holland, I SEE his Grandmother Ruby's chin & mouth, Blackie's high cheek bones, and his Father's eyes … he IS a true Redmill.
I asked Holland how his grandparents weathered an interracial marriage at a time when racism was rife in ALL RACES, in America. He said, "Thiers was not an interracial marriage"- both his grandfather & grandmother were Indians: Grandfather was at least half Cherokee, and Grandmother was 20% Indian also (either Blackfoot, or Choctaw - he isn't sure which).
I know there is Blackfoot blood in there somewhere … because Jake, Crystal (Holland's cousins), and I talked about our shared Blackfoot Indian blood before Holland and I were even "a thing" ;-)
Holland says his mother also had Indian blood in her veins (not sure what tribe; but less than a quarter); his entire family - both branches - were from Oklahoma, before moving to CA (Redmills moved to Winters-CA & Harris's moved to Layton-CA) … his parents met at Bible College in, or around, Santa Cruz-CA.
Holland; October 2023~Quartzsite-AZ. One would never know, unless he told … that he is part Native American; large part, Cherokee.
The morning sky was heavy with gray rain clouds … it looks like a WA sky, here, today; and the air is filled with the scent of grass fire smoke. Fields are being burnt in mexico, in preparation for crop planting. Del Pueblo RV Resort is very close to the boarder and the atmosphere is a smokey drift haze overhanging the area.
Gray, wet morning.
We have a favorite roadside produce stand that we like to visit every week; we are still learning the roads here … and GPS is insisting on taking us in a continuous half hour looping circle out of our way to get to the produce stand literally mere minutes away from our front door.
It makes no sense at all as to why the roadway was designed this way.
It's nuts.
It's unnecessary.
But at least we were laughing with the absurdity.
Laughter is good medicine right now ;-)
Gonzalez Produce Stand from Del Pueblo RV Resort; 17 mins (11.6 mi) via E County 14th St & AZ 195-Araby Rd
Yuma has the craziest roadway design we've ever encountered …
Billy Preston - 'Will It Go Round In Circles' 1971 song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuFOkAL8ihM)
Holland said, 'NO WAY!' - and found a way around the freeway snafu ;-)
Holland eventually got us from point A to point B without following GPS's freeway route … and we took notes of the street signs overhead, so hopefully, next week, we won't plug GPS in at all ;-)
While gathering and paying for our fruits and vegetables, we also bought some fresh made tamales to eat at home :-)
Gonzalez Produce Stand, off Hwy. #95; Yuma-AZ
Gonzalez Produce Stand; inside, everything very well organized & displayed well: (@ #7862 US-95, Yuma, AZ 85365)
Back home, we enjoyed an afternoon siesta, a leisurely Supper (the tamales were yummy) … and I finished another angel baby blanket, before relaxing with a blueberry margarita.
MOD Angel Baby Blanket w-picot edging; 15-in square Shabbat mitzvah.
Blueberry Margarita
Today has been a good day of togetherness, good humor, good mitzvah (commonly interpret it as “a good deed”; the term mitzvah comes from the root word tzavta, which means “connection.” What makes a mitzvah a mitzvah is its emphasis on action), and good relaxation :-)
I don't argue the point with people … but I question those that call themselves Christians, who think the Church replaces Israel and the Jews. I purposefully distance myself from these people because they have willingly deluded themselves, and arguing with them is a total waste of time: their minds have been darkened, and their hearts have been hardened towards Truth.
Anti-Semitism has seriously been in the rise since the horrible 8 -year-d.e.m.o.n.rat barak hussain obama coup; and the current d.e.m.o.n.rat biden coup is pushing the obamas' program forward. barak hussain obama was pretty clear during both his coup terms - his primary goal was to destroy Israel … and destroy America. He was very vocal about these points.
I stand with Israel; this has been my stance since 1965, when I accepted Yeshua as my Lord and Savior.
I believe we are in the endgame of the End Times, spoken of in Biblical prophecy: foretold in both the Old Covenant & New Covenant.
I believe the apostacy foretold in the New Covenant was loosed in churches in the late 1980's; and Replacement Theology doctrine is being preached instead of actual Gospel.
Public … and sadly, Private Schools … and every one of America's Colleges and Universities, teach anti-Semitism - actually denying the Holocaust of January 30, 1933 – May 8, 1945 systematically murder of Jews in Germany happened!
Public, Private Schools, every one of America's Colleges and Universities … all media sources, The UN, the d.e.m.o.n.rat White House & Congress are raising a cry and hue demanding all eyes and hearts be turned towards "compassionately embracing" hamas … and those supporting hamas!!!
I stand with Israel; period.
I don't argue the point with people … but I do question those that call themselves Christians, who do not.
A week and a half can seem like an eternity when bridges are avoided.
When pain overshadows everything, life can get very dark.
Where communication and touch end, everything seems further away than it actually is.
Roxette - 'Vulnerable' lyrics:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsbQZBO9L9Y)
I cried a lot yesterday - past triggers, and present chaos have cut into sleep time, and I was edgy.
I also kept busy - busy works relaxes me, and adds balance to my life.
Angel Baby Blankets I had completed, and stored, before we started our marriage & USA Tour …
Newest ABB addition.
A timely phone call changed everything, yesterday afternoon :-)
I am glad I have true friends in my life, who force me to level up.
I am glad Elohim gifted me with a particular loving FRIEND who has loving eyes to see what angry pain blinds me to; I am glad this friend is more than simply a friend - this friend is {family} and boldly goes where angels fear to tread, and I appreciate that.
I am glad that my bestie keeps tabs on me through FB, this Blog, and sporadic texts. I'm glad my bestie loves me enough to "keep it real" when lovingly holding a mirror up, and gently forcing me to grow with a situation … instead of letting me give into a fight or flight pattern.
I'm glad this particular loving friend has widened his embrace to include Holland in his loving concern.
The phone call came at the perfect moment; Elohim was working in both of our lives this afternoon.
I am eternally thankful for this loving concern without judgment.
I am glad I had the phone conversation on speaker phone.
I am glad Holland heard what was said- and accepted what was said. I'm glad a male friend spoke into our lives, at this time in our lives ;-)
We both knew we needed help: we both understood help had arrived with that phone call.
After the call ended, our eyes met across the room, and we both said at the same time, "I've missed you."
It was an Olive Branch moment.
Holland's emotions are the most damaged because he has gone through the most intense times - and has had to weather them on his own since he was forced to be on his own, at the tender age of 14.
He won't admit it, but his self-confidence stands on shaky ground. I know this because I love him, and I pay attention to the way he stands. The way he reacts. The way his eyes and tone change in tricky situations. I am aware of emotional withdrawal when our hearts get too close for his comfort. He doesn't say much verbally … but he says a lot, without being aware that he has spoken anything at all.
Love, for him, is an iffy thing. He struggles to feel it. He struggles to accept it. He struggles to allow it. Love, in his life, has always been a fleeting thing that has left severely damaging wakes in it's passing throughout his life.
I want him to know that he is lovable. He is worthy of love.
John Legend - 'All Of Me' lyrics: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGU3HyY19X4
I want him to know that I will love him no matter what.
I understand now, that when he separates himself from me, he is fighting the love demon that tells him he is unlovable. He is wrestling with damage vibrations of grief losses.
I walked to the bunkroom doorway, closing the open space between us; and said, "Holland: I want you to hear me - and let this sink in: I could have been dating from 2019 'til we got together; I deliberately held off until my heart came alive and Elohim whispered, 'he's the one'. I chose you. You are love worthy. I'm not interested in anyone else. I.c.h.o.s.e.y.o.u. You are the perfect man for me."
Diana Ross - 'If We Hold On Together' lyrics: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMadmAHjt50)
Eventually, he came out of the bunkroom while I was sitting at the dining table, working on an Angel Baby Blanket. He leaned down on the kitchen island, and said, "I love you, Baby; I'm sorry I made you cry."
Then he asked me what I was doing. I said, "I'm making Angel Baby Blankets - I learned a lot with Bob's passing; before Death touched us I never really understood the depth and scope of Grief. I thought there was a time limit on grieving … 1, 2 years into the process, people {should be "over it"}, you know?"Holland said, "It doesn't work like that."And I heard the soft pain in his voice, and I said just as softly, "I know that now; I was ignorant then, because even though death had touched my life - it really hadn't touched my life until I lost Bob's presence in my life. After Bob's spirit passed, I understood the deep pain of grief: I came to understand that the grieving process never really ends. It changes, and you learn to live with it: but it never ends. I needed to be busy, or go crazy with grief: for the first two years, I kept busy designing and crafting several crochet lapghans for hospice, and lots of knitted Newborn beanies and baby blankets for the maternity ward … but St. John's Hospital-Peace Health, eventually stopped the need for those outlets. Then I read about the Angel Baby Blankets program, and I started doing that - I was doing better with my grieving, but it still helped to be busy, filling those empty hours. This busy work helps me relax … to offer in some small way a bit of comfort during a time of grieving - having this little square of baby blanket pattern verifies the baby they never got to bring home to their nursery, and having something tangible to handle when the pain hurts, helps them come to terms with their loss."
And then the floodgates opened and we talked.
We actually heard each other out.
And we came to an understanding agreement with each other: when I get quiet and withdraw to refocus and find balance again, Holland won't take it personally; he'll give me the space I need until the mood lightens and I fully engage again. When Holland gets quiet and withdraws to refocus and find balance again (this may include bunkroom time; and possibly some angry talk), I won't take it personally - I'll suck it up, and give him the time he needs to lighten up and fully engage again.
We will not be quick to take offense when these moments happen.
He said, "I'm not used to sharing personal stuff with people. Guys don't do stuff like that."
I almost cried with the loneliness that tinged his tone. I said, "I know. But, you will get comfortable with sharing personal stuff with me - I'm your wife and there is no secret you cannot share with me; together we can weather the storm, stronger. I love you - warts, and all."
Holland shares little.
I share everything.
Sometimes between the little, and the everything, things can quickly go south … but now we both understand that: and we are consciously working on bettering our responses.
We are newlyweds building a Life together: we are people with Past baggage.
We are both damaged people healing by the grace of God: and we know that Elohim is aware of our personal struggles, and that He is working on our behalf to settle accounts so we can fully enjoy our Life together.
Diana Ross – 'When You Tell Me That You Love Me' lyrics:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0pIjB7OsMs)
If we never lose sight of that Truth - and keep our love alive during turbulent times … we'll make it safely (and stronger) through to the other side, where Victory lies and Testimony waits to bolster someone else.
Painful situations serve a purpose: we both know that. But challenging situations that make powerful testimonies are never fun for those going through it :-(
Thank Elohim for His presence, and damage checkpoints.
Thank Elohim for good friends that offer sound advice, and point the way to damage checkpoints, without judgment.
Damage checks are safety beacons that keep us in adult mode; and adult mode will keep our home a happy place to be despite the withdrawal symptoms that occasionally show themselves ;-)
Finishing touches after Supper; another 15-inch ABB finished … and placed with the others.
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